• Published 11th Jul 2013
  • 11,807 Views, 275 Comments

The Girls - Chelis

When the main six find themselves in our world, it is up to one high school student to protect them from forces that want to exploit them and the portal to Equestria for their own ambitions.

  • ...

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Day 2

The sound and smell of the bacon and eggs filled the air as I was up pre-dawn to cook breakfast. Waking up this early was common since I usually tend to forget to do my homework the night before, and I ended up having to do it before school. This time, however, I had three guests that needed me to prepare breakfast for them.

As I was slaving away to cook, I failed to notice Rainbow Dash arriving and sitting on the counter.

"Hey egghead!"

I had to admit I was not expecting anyone to be awake, so it wasn't that much of a surprise for me that she made me jump. She got a laugh out of it while I tried to keep my cool "So how did you sleep?"

Rainbow Dash yawned and began to stretch "Best. Sleep. Ever" she replied, still stretching.

Please stay in that pose forever, Rainbow.

"Whatcha cooking anyway?" Dash replied, enjoying the aroma of cooking meat.

"Pig Bacon and Chicken Eggs" I explained, having to add the animal where it came from; she might as well learn how good meat is, maybe give her a slice of bacon..."Want some?"

Rainbow gave me the 'did you just say that?' look before answering "I'm not much of a bacon eater, sorry."

I gave a smile as I opened the microwave that showed a massive pile of pancakes on a dinner plate."I know, which is why I made you and Twilight some pancakes in advance. Can you wake Twilight up too? Also do it quickly, don't want breakfast to be cold now; would we."

Rainbow Dash smiled as she left her stool seat and made her way upstairs. Even with the fact those two are staying with me, I still had this feeling that I was missing someone. A whimpering Spike at me feet answered that feeling.

Oh yeah, this guy.

"So what do you want Spike?" I asked the dog.

Im talking to a fuckin' dog. Peachy.

"Anything, I'm starving," He said in an excited tone.

I reached into the cupboard and found a plate and slapped some pancakes on it. "Here ya go," I said as I laid the plate down. For a small thing, he sure can eat. The little guy wolfed down the pancakes, which was a shame I couldn't show him the joys of syrup and butter.

"Morning Twilight, you look like you just came back from a night out on the town" I joked.

She took a yawn and replied "What are you talking about?"

"Your clothes. Girls do not usually sleep with a blouse and a skirt on" I said, preparing their plates.

"Oh sorry, I still don't know much about your world's customs" Twilight replied blushing.

"Don't sweat it, anyone ask about you two at school I'm going to say foreign exchange students from Bermuda or something" I smiled as I set their plates in front of them.The syrup, butter, ground cinnamon, and powdered sugar were there but like Spike: They don't know the joys of adding things to pancakes.

When all of us were done, I cleaned up after them and placed the dishes in the sink.

Nobody ain't got time to clean in the morning.

As the girls began once again looking through the bags of clothes a thought came across my mind: These girls would need a way to find me in an emergency. Then it hit me.

"Ill be right back," I said as I made my way up to my room and went to my computer desk. Two iPhones. They were the older generations, but they would work, just clearing them of the porn on it and adding them to my line. I could theoretically do it during class so it wouldn't be much of a problem. After running the factory restores and realizing I left them, fully charged before I stored them all those years ago just in case. I tossed them to the girls after making my way downstairs.

"If you need anything text me or call me if it can't wait."

"What is this thing" Rainbow Dash asked while holding the old piece of junk.

"It's a cell phone for emergencies; we can talk to each other without being next to each other with these. My name is the only contact in there."

"So how does it work?" Twilight asked.

I spent the next 15 minutes explaining how to call, and how to text. It was pretty easy to teach them since I didn't have to teach them a whole new language.

"... and then you hit send. I haven't activated it yet, but I'll send you all a text when it's ready. You girls got this?."

Both got how to do this. Well then again using a cell phone isn't exactly rocket surgery.

"Alright ladies shower time, grab what you are wearing and go," I said in a hurried tone. Rainbow Dash took the smaller bathroom in the ground floor while Twilight took the more spacious top one. As they were in the shower, I quickly grabbed two bags from my room and added the basics: paper, pens, pencils, and a 3 ring binder. Both bags were black and would be hard to tell apart other than twilights getting the bigger bag.

If I can get their marks embroidered, that would help. But the trick would be how to make them reveal what their marks look like without giving away how I know all about them.

As I walked out of the room, the bathroom door was about to swing open. I grabbed the door handle before Twilight can open the door any further. "Are you clothed?" I asked, hoping "the dream II" wouldn't happen for real.

"No" Twilight answered.

"Ok, when I let go, go straight to the living room. Tell Dash she has to be changed too before I can go downstairs." I immediately let go of the door and turned around. Without looking back, I went to my room again got my clothes and made my way walking backward to the bathroom.

The best part of having someone shower before you is they know where the hot water is and it is warmed up. I turned on the shower and in one swoop all of my clothes were off and I hopped right in.

As the soothing hot water pelted my body I began to think of the situation: in fact having the girls and spike being a handful it was difficult to have a moment to myself until now.

Lets see: you have to help two ponies and a dragon in human and dog forms find their way back home and you have no fuckin' idea where the portal is

Hey, at least I'm trying

Trying and doing are two different things fucktard.

Just in case no major McFuckups occur I changed in the bathroom.

Let's see here..

Boxers? Check. Shirt? Check. Pants? Check. My swagtastic socks? Check. Shoes? Annnd checkmate.

I threw my used clothes in the hamper once I reached into my room and grabbed Twi's and dash's bags and made my way down. They were dressed so at least I had to worry about it.

Twilight was in jeans and a purple shirt, her long hair that reached down to her lower back would have been cute but she has the fashion down. Dash, however...

"Are you wearing the same hoodie from yesterday?" I asked in a firm tone.

"Yea and?" Rainbow Dash answered defiantly.

I reached her back and lifted up her hoodie to reveal what I was expecting: the firm, toned ass. Good thing by pants were a bit loose or else my boner would have been easily seen.

"You are not wearing any underwear too; -sigh- ok hang on," I said as I made my way to the clothes. I pulled out a very light cerulean track pants and jacket, a black tank top and a sports bra of the same color as the track gear. Pretty soon I was face to face with the 'thong bag'. I noticed that the one in the same color as twilight was unopened. The Rainbow one was there too....






C'mon man, just do it, say it's to help her movement or some bullshit...


I pulled one of the rainbow thongs and threw them to rainbow "here, try these."

"They look different from the underwear I had, these are just pieces of fabric" Rainbow Dash said suspiciously.

"Of course, they help you with movement," I said.

"All right," Rainbow said as she began to take her hoodie off.



I literally jumped in front of her and grabbed both of her hands. At that moment, I realized we were literally inches apart holding hands. She noticed too and was blushing even brighter than I was.

"Umm.. Rainbow?" I said, feeling the pasta coming out of my pockets.

"Y-yes?" She said a flustered state.

"C-can you change in the bathroom?" I asked

She nodded her head but stood there. We were looking deep in each other's eyes and feeling our hearts skipping a beat. We had stared at each other holding hands before Rainbow Dash smiled. "You can let go now egghead."

"Oh sorry," I said as I let go, she walked to the restroom while I tried to catch my breath. Twilight Sparkle was giggling the entire time.

After Rainbow Dash had come back, I tossed her a backpack as well with Twilights. "Your bags girls. Twilight's is the bigger one so she can carry Spike, we don't want to leave him here in case we find the damned portal."

The girls put on their shoes (well after I give them a quick tutorial on shoe tying) and they were ready for school. I grabbed the keys off the counter, locked the doors behind us and set off towards a fun-filled day of education.

Fun filled, my ass.


"House. Now. -Mom," was the text I received when I left the gate with Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle.

"Are you in trouble egghead?" Rainbow Dash joked.

"Only one way to find out. Stay here girls and I'll see what she wants." I said as I made my way back to the gate and opened the mahogany doors into my house. It was a really spacious house, imported tile floors, leather couches, The largest plasma television money can buy, chandeliers... you get the idea. I made my way past the living room and into the kitchen, where a middle-aged couple occupied the small breakfast table. (The large dining room was reserved for special occasions).

"Hey darling, where were you last night?" my mom asked as she gave me the traditional morning hug.

"School taxed me a bit harder than usual, so I called it an early night," I replied.

My stepdad for five years was ignoring the conversation and was concentrating on reading the business section of the newspaper. He and I We don't hate each other, but we don't have a strong relationship like my father and I still had.

"So, I heard from the camp counselor that Jenna is doing remarkably well and she will be released soon! Which is good because without her and Gloria... it gets so quiet."

"How is Gloria?" I asked.

"The bitch can't get pregnant. They are going to try a few more times before they'll wait until the next time she is in heat."

I nodded as I began to think of poor Spike, he might get ran out of town by the very territorial Gloria... or fall in love with him and dry hump him every opportunity she gets. The whole time I kept looking outside to check up on the girls. Worst case scenario they might get taken off the street. The even worse case, but yet more realistic scenario was to be surrounded by bronies who didn't whack off during their morning shower, if they showered at all.

"Oooooh who are they?" mom asked as she looked to what was making me look back every five seconds. "They are pretty."

The second my step dad heard pretty he flipped his newspaper down to take a look. He had a perverted grin before he began to read the newspaper again. "Don't knock them up, boy."

Oh if only...

"They are foreign exchange students from Bermuda," I answered. "Usually Jenna would show them around and be their ambassador, but since she is gone, the principal asked me to do it in her absence."

"It's good to see you take some responsibility. I like the fact you are spending my money for things other than being in that guest house masturbating to God knows what," my stepdad replied, still not taking his eyes off his newspaper.

You have no idea, Dick.

"Ok son, good luck today! and be on your best behavior with those two, maybe they can be future girlfriends," my mom said as she gave me a hug.

"Don't encourage him, Susan," my step dad replied with a smile. "That means more money I have to spend". My step dad put his arm out and I returned it with a handshake. "Good luck kid. Don't forget to be yourself and those girls will be eating out of your hands. You are a pretty likable kid, when you are not awkward."

"Thanks, Richard," I said, trying to out firm his handshake.

As I made my way out, my mom yelled out, "Don't forget to invite them to dinner with us, son!"

"Okay!" I yelled out as I closed the door.

phhhh nah.


The walk to school was a quiet but hurried one, due to the lack of time we had until the school day began. All three of them still couldn't comprehend the beauty of my town and its features (which was basically suburbia, so if they were mesmerized by this, a trip to the city might be in order). As soon as we arrived at school, I stopped them before we entered the building. "Alright girls and dog-dragon, we have to lay down some rules about this place. Number one: I've noticed you three tend to talk with horse puns, unless you are talking about an actual pony, don't say pony. Two: Spike can't talk. At all. Or at least where others can hear him. Third: If anyone gives you a hard time, just scream mine or Jenna's name for help and they will leave you alone and apologize. Are we all clear?"

All three nodded and so began our school day.

First period went without a hitch, well minus trying to juggle entertaining Rainbow Dash and making sure I took notes from the whiteboard. This teacher usually wrote the notes on the board before each lesson. My (and the entire class's) guess is she had no idea what she is teaching and was going to the notes herself. Rainbow Dash and I began to talk about things on a more personal level. Instead of talking about useless chatter, we actually hit it off pretty well. She told me about her job as the weather manager for her town in which I "mistakenly" compared her to being a meteorologist or someone who does not affect the weather directly. Her dreams of being a Wonderbolt (showed her the human equivalent called "The Blue Angels"). And since she liked me so much, she began to teach me the joys of being awesome. I told her about mine: Just to find a wife and raise a family. I'm not the kind of person who wants everything. I grew up in wealth and power. At this point, just to find someone who would love me and the family we create together would be the only thing I would need.

"So Egghead," Rainbow Dash asked while blushing. "You haven't found that girl already, right?"

I cracked a smile "Wait, are you asking me if you want to be my wife?"

She began to be red with embarrassment "What?! No!"

"I hope you two are talking about how bad the right-wing, fascists, baby eating, corporate shill Republicans are for starting the war in Iraq, because all of you who don't know are making this generation a bunch of youtube babies!"

Usually, most of the class would be silent and let her finish her early morning political rant before we actually did classwork. But did I remember to give Rainbow Dash that memo? Noooooooooooooo

"Will it be on the test?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Doesn't matter if it's not on the test or not! you have to learn these things!"

"Why?" she asked.

The entire class was in shock. One rule they all lived by in this class was: don't question crazy or they will go crazy. And the teacher? Well, the word "Chimp out" would not of cut it. She looked like she was going to launch a nuclear war aimed at my desk.

"Just open your books to page 25 for Obama's sake."

The rest of the class giggled and a few turned around to give her a high-five.

Yep, she is going to fit in quite well


The class went swimmingly well though I was given a shit ton of homework already, and it was barely second period. After giving Rainbow Dash a hug goodbye and an another one passing Twilight in the halls, I found myself alone, late again to a science class that I really didn't want to go to. Never liked dissection day. Usually, I would get stuck with a cute girl but that girl would flip out over cutting into a frog or a sheep's heart

Well... I thought I was walking the halls alone...

"Oh dear.. how do you open these confounded contraptions!" The sophisticated voice screamed

That voice...


I hid in the corner to peer undetected to see a pale woman with a purple skirt with three diamonds and a blue cashmere sweater.

She also had stylish, purple hair

There can only be one thing with that look in this and many other universes.

And it's name would be Rarity.



Not another one.

Twilight told me there wouldn't be anymore!

She said MIGHT, you dumbass.

I wanted to cry. The surreality of the situation was kicking in, and I realized I was in for it now. By the looks of it, I would be tasked with protecting six individual (and equally insane) girls. I take a deep breath and prepare to turn the corner, for better or worse.

Here goes nothing.

"Can I help you miss?" I asked.

"Oh heavens yes, I would much appreciate the assistance." She replied with a smile.

"Do you have the locker combination by any chance?"

"Right here!" she said as she handed me a small piece of paper.

While I went to work putting in the combination, Rarity went off on one of her signature rants.

Yes, those.

"This place’s taste in color is bland, these floors are simply disgusting! Does anyone ever clean this place?!"

Kill me now...

"There!" I proclaimed the second I heard the sound of the lock opening. I stepped aside to let Rarity put her things inside. Minus her expensive looking bag, of course.

She just got here, how the hell did she get her hands on a Louis Vuitton purse!?

"Thank you! You're quite the gentleman!" she smiled.

"It's no problem Rarity."

I winced internally.


"H-how did you know my name? We've just met!" She screamed.

"Funny story actually," I said with a nervous laugh.

"Are you stalking me?! How DARE you!" she screamed louder as she proceeded to beat me senseless with her handbag.

"S-stop! I'm not a stalker!" I yelled.

"Explain thyself heathen!" she yelled as she began to tee off my head.

"If you would just STOP!" I screamed as I snatched her purse out of her grip.

"Hey! Give that back!"

"Not until you listen." I said, feeling the heat from the blows from the purse.

"Hmph!" she replied as she crossed her arms and gave me the death stare.

"I know your name is Rarity, but what I do NOT understand is why you're in my world right now."

"Your world? W-what do you mean?"

"Let me guess: you're looking for Twilight and Rainbow Dash right?"

Rarity was practically speechless at this point. Her mind was either probably trying to figure out how to manipulate me to lead her to them or wait for the perfect opportunity to scream for help.

"The only reason this sounds awkward is because I know where they both are, I've been helping them for the past day."


"And as of right now, you're stuck here with the rest of them."

"STUCK?!" she screamed as her 'bitch and moan' mode was activated. "I can't be stuck here! I have an important fashion show to get to in a couple of days!"

"Well, I don't know what to tell you, you're out of luck."

And so am I.

"Look, I have to finish out the school day so I don't fail my senior year.. just go about the day and look for me during lunch, okay?"


I tossed her back the handbag before I began to make my way to my class. I took five steps before I involuntarily sighed and turned my head over my shoulder.

"Where do you need to go?"

"Where's science class?"

Well, that's eerily convenient.

"Actually, that's exactly where I'm headed.. follow me."

While we were heading towards science class, I can't help but steal a few glances at Rarity.

If I weren't the only way to get these girls back home, I'd totally hit on that.

She has the body of a fucking model.

Growing up, I managed to peek at my mom's "Vogue" Magazines for.... well that's none of your damn business. Anyway, those girls in the magazine had nothing on Rarity. She was as tall as me (where Twilight was as shoulder high, dash as tall as my upper chest), thinner than the rest of the girls without looking anorexic. Her hair had not one strand out of place. Her walk was perfect: Graceful yet determined.

Rarity somehow noticed me checking her out and smiled.

"Eyes front sweetheart." she said.

I suddenly began to blush and nearly choke on my own saliva.


"It's fine, I'm use to having stallions stare," she said flattered.

"Uhh.. I'm not a stallion."

"Well, what are you then?"

"If you're going to stay in this world, you need to learn a few things," I said with a stern tone.

"Like what?"

"Firstly, I'm a man and a human. You're a female and a human...-ish."

"Okay, anything else?"

"Just don't call anyone anything horse related, I don't want people asking questions."

"Fair enough, Ah! I do believe we're here!" she said, observing the paper banner that said, "Welcome to the Science Wing!" with different crude drawings of scientific instruments.

Science class with Rarity, this can only end so well.

Wait. Isn't today dissection day?


"Get that THING away from me!"

Just fucking great.

Out of all the goddamn days of the year, the day I run into an easily grossed out pony from another world is also the same day as frog dissection day. It didn't help that the entire class was staring at the both of us with confused and concerned looks and a few smirks here and there.

"Rarity calm down. I'll do the work. Just turn around or something," I replied.

I'm always doing the dirty work anyway.

"Fine! Fine! But keep it away!" said the already queasy Rarity.

"I'll try. No promises," I chuckled.

I continued to prepare to cut away at the poor little frog while Rarity was mortified every step of the way. The worst part was, she was screaming over the pinning of the frog to the table. Once I began actually slicing into 'Frogger' (yea, I tend to name my dissection victims. Last year I got a laugh from the entire class for naming the all black cat I had to dissect 'Salem') Rarity had to sit on the stool looking away, to the wall with the giant Periodic Table of Elements on it.

Then again, At least I could look at the bright side. At least it was Rarity I found, and not the animal obsessed Fluttershy. She would flip her fucking shit over this...or possibly would like to know more about how animals might look on the inside in case she needed to do surgery in this world.

Wishful thinking... but eh what can you do? The thing I need to do was just cut into this frog while entertaining the ever squeamish Rarity, so she does not turn around and cause an even bigger scene than she just caused.

Which reminds me.

"Rarity?" I asked.

"Yes?" she asked, her breath was still coming back slowly.

"Twilight told me about the others."

Not really.

"And I was wondering.. are the rest going to show up?"

"I couldn't really tell you, the last thing our princess wants is for all the of us to get trapped here."

"But that's the thing, they don't know you're trapped here. So how did you wind up here?" I asked as I kept my mind to the task at hand. The inside of the frog looked like a vast and a small array of gelatin.

"I volunteered to check on Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, thinking we could just come back."

"But from what Twilight told me you're kinda trapped in this world, for now."

"For now? You didn't mention that."

"Twilight can explain it better, honestly," I said with a laugh while trying to carefully remove the Frog's heart.

Rarity stifled a giggle of her own.

"Yeah.. Twilight always had a knack for thinking her way out of things."

"She's seems like a very smart girl."

"Oh she IS! She's Princess Celestia's protégé! Only the very BEST can accomplish that."

I would find this prospect mind blowing if I already didn't know that.

"I'm impressed."


"Well, it looks like class is over."

"Thank Goodness!."

We both sat there, waiting for the other to say something first.

"Want to get some lunch?"

"Yes, I would very much appreciate that," she said with a smile.

Oh you're so kind, and such a gentleman! Take me away and have your way with me!

Shut the fuck up brain!


"Alright, let's get moving."


After getting the traditional Twi-Dash sandwich hug and letting them do the same to Rarity, I began to take a couple of stabs at the slop that was supposed to be my lunch. This shit looked worse than dog shit, hell you even see the spinach dip movin- yeah it just sprouted a fucking wing.


I pushed away the tray, with an obvious loss of appetite. It's a shame prisoners get better food than school students.

Only in America.

Just to check I took a look at my text messages and I received one from Rainbow Dash's phone.

That was.. kinda cute, she misses me. How sweet. I had stared at my phone for a good minute before I put it back in my pocket. Afterward, I couldn't help but gave off a loving smile to Rainbow Dash, who was busy chatting with Twi and Rarity.

These girls have taken a liking to me, and I had taken a liking to them a long time before that. To think, when I first started the school year, I really just wanted to do nothing at this school at all, well other than football. Now, I want to keep going to school for their sake. If the worst comes to pass and they will be permanently stuck here, At least I can help them play catch-up for the 11 years of American education they would have to learn. Speaking of school, this school day couldn't get by any faster. Well, at least it's Thursday which means the weekend is right around the corner. One more day of this shit and then I can help these girls get home. But I have a feeling there's going to be a lot more that just finding the portal. It's a feeling I couldn't shake, one that runs up my spine. It's like some heavy shit is about to go down, and my life will never be the same. I mean It won't be the same already, but still...Or it could be completely harmless. All I know is that I'm not a mind reader.

"But I am!"


The girls in front of me had the look of shock, their mouths down and staring at the figure behind me. All I could do is to turn around slowly and look at the wall of pink towing over behind me.

Pinkie Pie.


"Hiya!" the tower of pink replied.

"P-pinkie?" I asked in shock and fear. I was kinda hoping if all of them were going to be in this world, I would deal with Pinkie last. Love the hell out of her and all, but...she does have her moments when listening to Nickelback would be a better option.

"How'd Ya know my name? Oooohh~ are you a mind reader too!?" she questioned with her usual giddiness.

"No?" I answered in a confused manner.

"Well, that's a shame, that would'a been cool if you were! then we could read each others minds!"


"That's easy Johnny! You just gotta help me and my friends!"

"..Johnny?" I asked, wondering how she happened to figure out my biological father's name. "Did you just call me Johnny?"

"Yeah! I think it sounds better than John." she said, practically beaming at me with that smile.

How quaint.

"Let me guess, you know my father's name because you're a mind reader?" I said, waggling my fingers to emphasize my point.

"Nope! That name was on your wallet!" she giggled, referencing my wallet that was next to my food. Which looking down at the food again, it looked like whatever was in my pudding had developed into a bronze age society.


Well great, another one to bring home to the parents.

"Aww, will your parents like me, Johnny?"

"Can...Can you not read my mind all the time?" I asked. "I kinda feel violated."

"Okie Dokie!" she screamed.


Back to the inner monolog. Something told me that this wasn't just coincidental as I saw the three girls question Pinkie about the usual like: "Why are you here?" "Hows Equestria without us?" and the more important question coming from Twilight Sparkle "Is Princess Celestia angry at me?"

Pinkie Pie just appeared out of nowhere. Who's to say AJ and Fluttershy aren't far behind?

It's only a matter of time.

Just as I said when this ordeal first started, there will eventually be a mary-sue villain trying to rape everyone with its dragon dildos. I seriously hope to god that won't happen.



"Yeeeees Johhhhhnnnnnyyyy~?"

"They are all staying with me, look for us after school."


"Really?!" she asked, as she picked me up by the collar of my shirt and pulled me close to her face, I mean reallllllllllyyyyyy close.

Stay like this as long as you can. She is cute and her breath smells like cake frosting.


"Yes Pinkie they are, now can you please put me down? People are staring,"

"Okay, we all are going to head to class and get this day over with okay?" I asked.

Pinkie nodded furiously, making me wonder how she is not suffering whiplash.

"Meet us outside in the school parking lot, when the final bell rings."

She continued to nod, how she did it without breaking her neck, in general? I have no idea.

It's like she's on a sugar rush 24/7. I made a small prayer to anyone who would listen that with divine intervention, she never will be able to get her hands on an energy drink. After some "see you guys after lunch" hugs from the girls, I grabbed my things and left them to finish out the day. Hopefully without bumping into any more of the main six.

Two is enough for one day.

The fact I have 4 of them staying with me is a whole another matter. The boats getting full and I'm likely to sink with it.

You HAVE to get them home. As much as I enjoying every waking moment of their presence here and the prospect of showing them the ways of human sexuality with them, It can bare down on a man. Plus... they don't belong here, this isn't their home.

Oh look, I'm at class.


All it took was five dollars.

Five dollars later, I walked through the hallways unopposed with a forged hall pass. If you knew who to talk to, and where to find the person, you too can get your own forged hall pass. It felt real, and the signature was a scribbled line: like most teachers tend to sign their hall passes. The security here would get suspicious if your teacher took the time to make the signature pretty.

Anyway, I had to leave my 6th and last period class because Rainbow Dash texted me between classes that she was bored and was looking for something to do. So I thought:

Her + Me + Locker rooms= sexytime


I knocked on the window of her art class, where she was the closest one to the back door. Sure enough, she slipped out of the door of this art teacher's class. That teacher did not care about it, he was actually just using the job as something to hold him over until he got his big break in art. We shared a hug and made our way through campus. Along the way, she talked about her classes.

"Ugh! They are so boring!" She moaned her frustration of having to sit still for more than a few minutes getting to her.

"Relax Rainbow, I'm going to show you something you are going to enjoy," I said, as I opened the boy's locker room door. Inside was empty, but still smelled of body order. The school went through a renovation recently, so the locker room looked new. Among the changes was the fresh paint clean, clean concrete floors, and more importantly: better lighting. Dash did not seem to mind the smell of male body odor, for one reason or another. At the end of the locker room was the door to the hopefully unlocked coach's office. As soon as we arrived, Rainbow Dash began to giggle.

"What if someone catches us in here?" she asked.

"They won't, I'll make sure of it," I answered with a devilish grin.

I knocked on the door to the office, and my heart was in full beat when I head what I wanted to hear the whole time.

"Its open!"

"So is this the 'exciting' thing you are going to show me?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. I opened the door and we entered the room. It had the feel of a corporate office: all the items were either new or well maintained. The only exception was the concrete floor, in case the players had to come in with cleats.

"Hey! I thought I told you all that you can't bring your girlfriends with you to my office."

"Girlfriend?" I answered in embarrassment.

"Boyfriend?" Dash answered in embarrassment as well.

"No, we are not dating," we said in unison.

Totally would though.

"Then why is she here then?" coach asked.

"My friend here would like to try out for the football team," I answered.

Coach's face went from neutral to unhappy in a second. "Hey girl, step outside for a second, your boyfriend and I need to talk."

"He's not my boyfriend," said an embarrassed Rainbow Dash, as she closed the door behind her.

"Kid, I know you like this girl or want to get into her panties. But, you know I don't like girls on the team," he said.

"I know coach, that's why I didn't grab just any girl. She is fast, agile, and very competitive. Heck coach, she could start for wide receiver if she really wanted to."

The coach sighed "You know I like you kid, but even I have my limits. You know what happens when girls try to join the team right?"

"Trust me coach, she will overcome anything that you throw at her, she is that competitive."

"So, you are willing to put your neck out for her?"

I didn't even bat an eyelash: "Yes."

"Fine, send her in, but if she quits you are off the team."


Rainbow dash and I went to my locker after the final bell so that we can grab my stuff and head home. In her hand was the forms to fill out if one wanted to join the football team. Along the way, we ran into the crowds of people heading home. This time, however, I met some of my acquaintances from the football team. I wanted to stick around and talk, but I had to get the girls home and adjusted to this world. I promised to text my boys later. Once again, the rest of the girls were there to greet me, where I was met with even more hugs. Pinkie Pie's hug was the classic choker, which I had dubbed "the pinkieconda".

"Pinkie?!" I screamed in shock as I was caught in her hug.

"Pinkieconda, Johnny!? I like what you call them!" she screamed.

Oh, she will be a wild one in bed.

"What do you mean I will be a wild one?" Pinkie Pie asked.

It was a good thing the neighbors are not usually home around the time the six of us were walking home. They would have been asking why the pale girl with the purple hair was spazzing out over the beauty of this neighborhood. Anyway, as soon as we arrived home, we all became hungry: we had no urge to eat the lunch they served at school, since it basically was still alive and I swore the spinach on my plate called me "Mommy."

"Hey, Pinkie and Rarity, make yourselves at home. I'll make some food for you all," I said as they made their way to the couch for some television.

I went to the kitchen to make my semi-famous ballin' spaghetti.



And easy to make.

"Say Twilight, why don't you fill in the others on the current situation?" I asked.

"Oh right! Good idea!"

She proceeded to tell the newcomers how fucked we are. Not really fucked, but we're in a really bad jam right now.

I left the water on to boil, and the sauce on the stove to cook.

Should be ready in about 20 minutes.

As I closed the cupboard after grabbing a box of spaghetti strands, I noticed Rainbow Dash standing next to me.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked.

"I just can't really thank you enough for helping me and my friends out, you're the best," she said with a smile.

Damn right bitch, best recognize.

"I said it wasn't a problem dash, I'm more than happy to help," I replied.

"But that's the thing, you've gone out of your way to help us through so much."

"Well, I-"

I couldn't come up with anything else to say because Rainbow Dash gave me a small peck on the cheek.

"Thank you so much," Rainbow Dash said as she ran off before I could have said anything else. I was paralyzed, it was like cupid shot me in the dick with an arrow.

You mean your heart.

Yeah, that.

That was the most goddamn adorable thing I've ever seen. For a moment, I thought it kinda explained why it was getting so hot in the house. I look down and saw what was the problem: I was gripping a boiling pot of water for the past 30 seconds.



"Language!" Rarity screamed.

Bitch! what the fuck!?

Twilight ran over to me with a concerned look. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just burnt myself is all."

"Well, be careful."

As Twilight and the girls continued to discuss their current predicament, I finished cooking the pasta and checked up on the garlic bread in the oven. I sat the basket of garlic bread, the pitcher of lemonade with cups, and the plates of spaghetti in front of the girls and talking dragon-dog.

"Well everyone, dig in!"

Dinner went off without a hitch. I had a long and expansive conversation about human fashion with Rarity, and how parties here differ from Pinkie's parties, all that fun stuff.

While I was busy cleaning off the table and taking care of the dishes, everyone else was watching one of those reality cop tv shows. Except for Twilight, who was nice enough to help me.

"My word, the law enforcement here really does not like men who have dark skin," Rarity observed. I wanted to laugh, but they would have asked me why.

Ahh, good ol' Racism.


For what felt like the first time today, I finally had some time to sit and think while staring out of the kitchen table at the darkness of the mid-august night. I began to think of what my life was going to be when the girls were all gone, back to the safety of Equestria. Some part of me didn't want them to leave. But, the other part is telling me they needed to be where they belong. I agreed to myself that I was going to squeeze every bit of excitement out of this as I could. It's not every day this happens to someone.

A hand on my shoulder broke me from my thoughts.

"Hmm? Oh, hey Dash."

"Me and the girls are going to get some sleep," she said.

"Alright. I'll be here if you need anything."

As I began to stare out of the window again, I felt a surprise hug from behind and Rainbow Dash, resting her head on my shoulders.

"Goodnight," she whispered into my ear.

She released me and went towards the stairwell.

"Dash wait!" I said involuntarily.

She turned around, eager to what I had to say.

Oh god, what do I say.

"Hey nice shoes. Let's fuck?"

No. C'mon think!

"If you all can't fit in my bed, use Jenna's. Goodnight Dash," I said with a weak smile.


She looked a bit sad, actually...

No, it's for the best. For the both of you. Getting attached now would make it too hard to say goodbye.

But then again, It couldn't hurt. Could it?

Well no, it couldn't. Too late anyway. She went into the bedroom.

Way to fuck up.

I went over to the couch and laid down, but there was too much on my mind to sleep. The fact I didn't say what I wanted to say was still fresh on my mind. It was eating away at me like a virus.

Maybe you should just say something to Dash.

But what? You do not know if she would have blew me off.


Not like that, dumbass.

I sighed in defeat and look down to see Spike laying on the floor next to me. I gave him a scratch behind the ear and tried to bare some shitty show on TV. About 20 minutes later, I found my eyes starting to flutter asleep until I heard the bedroom door crack open. I looked over towards the stairwell, but couldn't see who was coming down. It was not until she stepped into the light of the TV that I discovered that it was Rainbow Dash.

Speak of the devil.

This is your perfect chance,

Say how you feel, you faggot.


I'm working on it.

"Sup?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Rainbow? What are you doing up?"

"I-I couldn't sleep, Rarity can't stop moving when she is asleep. So, what's keeping ya up?" she asked.

"I'm just thinking too much," I answered.

"You and me both," Rainbow Dash replied.

We both looked into each other's eyes, her magenta eyes were full of eager and nervousness. It was cute as hell.

"Dash, I've been meaning to tell you something."

"M-me too," she answered.

"So: who goes first?"

"You go first," she said in nervousness.

"Over the past couple of days spending time with you I just... I think I'm really starting to like you."

Suddenly, she threw herself at me.

"That's great! You're a cool person, after all! Heck, if you get any cooler you could be my colt friend,"



As if she suddenly realized what she just said, she shoved me away from her arms and added: "But you can't, since you are not that awesome, yet. But you are awesome."


"So, what is this football you wanted me join?" Rainbow Dash asked, with spaghetti falling out of her pockets.

It so happened a University in Hawaii was going to kick off in a few minutes, so I changed the channel and went through how the game worked with her. She was confused in the beginning, but she seemed to learn a lot about the game, even if she was sleeping with me by halftime, using my lap as a pillow.

Goodnight, Rainbow Dash.

Author's Note:

I'm starting a Skype group for fans, pre-readers, proofreaders, editors and people who can help me and everyone else in the chat become better in writing. If you want to join this group (and Skype is free to get and register btw) add me (louisros1990 is mine skype) and tell me you want to join the group.

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