Kiroberos
Joined 7th Dec, 2011 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Kiroberos · 17k words · 237 9 · 4k views
- Kiroberos · 1m words · 2,254 118 · 25k views
- Whiskey Drops · 25k words · 13 2 · 649 views
- Dawnforge · 20k words · 37 1 · 1.2k views
- RoccoRoccs · 63k words · 39 2 · 592 views
- Alcatraz · 15k words · 91 7 · 2.8k views
- Techogre · 11k words · 276 18 · 5.6k views
- totallynotabrony · 47k words · 54 14 · 1.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.209 seconds
Total duration
716 users online
1,204,850 hits today, 2,328,677 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Whoa nelly.
Here we go!
oh come on a cliff hanger with a week break that is cruel and unusual.
Okay, time to read the 'clean' version.
And I agree. What?
Cliffhanger! I wish to yell out to the heavens, one big reverberating "FFFFFFFUUUUUUU-"!
ROOOOBOOOT HOOOUUUUSSSSE!
What...the...fuck...
I just...what?...
I don't even know anymore....
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/517/320/71c.gif
......
It's 2.28 AM anyway.
I have no words....
Really... just.... WHAT?!
Now I am going to need near-light-speed travel to fast forward to next week...
Just.... I think I'm going to bed now...
I don't regret reading the mature version, though it was a smart move to make this a separate "story" as 't were. As always, great writing.
Your loyal fan,
Baasz
line of thought:
*finds himself nodding to nothing in particular*
i guess we know what the "torture session" was for, now the question is how far the modifications go.
if i were to guess i'd say it doesn't go further than his head(eyes, brain), i could be mistaken but if his entire body had been modified i doubt she'd so casually remove his leg.
however.
the torture session was on his original body, i doubt the dimensional shift would've duplicated those same modifications(though the dimensional shift *did* bring along those containers, hmmm..)
so does that mean Moon Mender was built? why? and how did they know where and how to send him? how did they even know of the place?
although Keela would've known more about the surroundings of Mender if this were the case..
built as an amorphous being which adapted to the pony-form after a scan of the world?
why? storage for back-up Keldorian DNA?
sigh, i'm not going to be able to stop thinking about this until the next chapter, i'm already sure of it..
going to give it a rest right now and post this though, see what others think
on another matter entirely, does this mean that the static is technological rather than magical? probably not due to the way messages were sent, showing up on random parts of his body.
P.S.: Pinkie must've been the mentor to Cohen! (simply not being in the way of a blade when it strikes)
Mender gets so much shit...
God, I hate(read: love) you. I'm one that REALLY dislikes gore / death in my reading, and seeing this going in this direction, I'm really afraid for the main six and Keela. I wouldn't be surprised if, by the end, Keela sacrifices herself to save Mender and stop Nirru's recklessness.
The more I go on reading this, the more I feel sorry for the humans who've had to ally with these absolutely vicious, merciless rabbitfolk.
WHAT.
WHAT.
WHAT.
I really want at the end of this arc for mender to tell applejack that he does not want to be her friend anymore
I don't want him to hate her I just want him to man up and say he does not like her
2659265
They're scared of us. Think about that for a minute.
2659429 From what I can tell, they are afraid because of our military and what we do to enemies.
I'm afraid of what they do to friends and their own people.
2659452
"We poison our water and air to weed out the weak. We set of fission bombs in our only biosphere. We nailed our God to a stick. Do not fuck with the human race."
Don't get me into history-lecture mode on what we do to our own people and friends, especially since I could see this fitting in nicely with the Starship Troopers universe. (The book, not the movie!)
---
Anyway, I just did a diff between the two chapter versions. Aside from some more descriptive language to do with the limb, it's mainly toned-down cursing.
As for the cliffhanger, I'm not touching that one. I could go off in a half-dozen different directions, but I just don't know enough yet. You are such a tease.
Wait... Is mender a robot? GOD DAMN IT!!! Now I gotta wait a week to figure out what the hell just happened?!
...
>stands up
>walks to neighbors house
>Knocks on the door
> Screams at them
READING THIS VERSION OF THE STORY DID NOTHING!!!!!, WHAT DA FUQ JUST HAPPENED!~
Okay, I really have to say that in this particular case, Applejack REALLY was a terrible friend here. And I don't just mean her disbelief towards mender, but he fact that she was so easily fooled by Niiru. As Twilight's friend, she should have known better than to think that Mender would've been able to overpower her like that. I don't know if you have something against Applejack, but your portrayal of her has been terribly inaccurate at parts, I think Mender has more than proved himself by now than for Applejack to just simply write off him off as a crazy liar, especially given all that's happened to them. And now he's lost his leg because of her. To be honest, it won't come as any surprise to me at all if Mender isn't so quick to forgive AJ for this.
You, author, are a fucking asshat. I am shaking right now with suspense, AND I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER FUCKING WEEK TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS! ! !
I'm not sleeping for a looooong time now.
. . .
WWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
2660093
Indeed.
I honestly hope AJ doesn't get off easy for this. I mean, Twilight is basically the most powerful unicorn there is, how could AJ think that Mender could overpower her that easily? And given everything Mender's done for her and the Mane 6 how could she even think he'd try to take advantage of Twi? I mean, she does realize this mender right? Naive and innocent Mender.
At least RD was willing to give him a chance, I will not fault her. I can see Mender forgiving her a lot faster/more easily. But AJ, I don't want to see her get off easy, from Mender(should he make it out of this) and from Twilight when she finds out what happened. Because she will be pissed.
awsome.
2660093 Yet he has already forgiven her
AJ knows he is close to Twi, thus him surprising her and disabling his magic either with violence or his "wierd magic" would be something most believable.
And thus, new standards have been made for the so-called "Cliffhangers".. I.. I have so many thoughts as to what will happen after this, but..This.. *everything goes black in the mind of Bridge*
Wha'? Anyway, now I shall find a way to mentally prepare myself for forcing out the countless worries for Mender, so that I can think just a bit clear at the exams of the upcoming week.. WOE IS ME, MY FATE HAS BEEN SEALED!
~Bridge
2660421 Not wanting her to be dead doesn't mean he doesn't have any resentment towards her for this, especially considering that this was his goal to begin with. I'm sorry, but the fact that she was so quick to condemn Mender and say that he wasn't her friend anymore proves she had lingering distrust for him hanging around that she was just looking for an excuse to bring out to the surface. It'd be one thing if she reacted strongly to this situation and decided to at least check out the situation, but the fact that she immediately dismissed everything Mender said even after all that's happened shows just how untrusting she has always been towards Mender.
ok seeing cliffhangar i feel i should wait till next week to read... so is this the exact same chapter on forgiveness just with more gore, language, possible clop scenes?
Ive only read this version of the chapter and I want to know something.
How the fuck did you censor this? it's like 90% gore!
WHY would you censor it is probably a better question
So that's the difference between gore and not-gore? I was expecting a bigger variance.
The story is just as good ether way. I'll have to think about what version to read.
I suppose I'll keep making my main comments in the original story, then just talk about the portions that are different in this one. But hmm... You know, I can't decide how necessary it actually was for this to be the first chapter with the Mature rating. Mostly you just described his leg in a little more detail, while it's not like the fact that it happened was censored at all. And then a few adjective swaps, and a couple fucks given that weren't in the other. Ah well, I suppose maybe it was just on the very edge of the Teen rating, so those little changes are enough to push it over. I was actually afraid for a little bit that the Mature rating might mean Nirru would get tired of trying to collect his DNA sample the old-fashioned way, and just chop his nuts off so she could send the sample back in its original packaging. Which is easier to reattach, those or a leg?
Kinda funny, though, the tensest, most unpleasant part wasn't the violent portion, but watching it start to spiral out of control when AJ and Dash arrived. The rest was more like, "Oops, you didn't need that leg, did you?" "Nah, I've got three more anyway. Maybe I'll fall on my face less often with fewer legs to trip over."
Bah! So many questions now! Who is Mender really?! Is he actually just a robot computer?! Confound you for making me have to wait a week to find out what happens! The fallout of Applejack's and RD's actions on Mender! Mender losing his magic leg! Bah!
Awesome use of the pinkie sense. I've never seen Pinkie being so badass!
When the situation was just getting worse and worse for Mender when they first found him I could hardly stand the tension. I just felt so bad for Mender. Even near the end even though he was so concerned for Applejack's well being he still felt like shit because of how fast they turned against him, it just made my heart go out for Mender even more. The whole scene was just so bloody brilliant!
Watching Applejack in action was a treat, even if it was against Mender for some of it. Bah! So many things are running around in my head from this whole chapter! I'm so anxious to see where it goes from here since there are just so many things that are going to take place and so many problems arise from this chapter I just can't wait to see how everyone deals with it all.
Awesome chapter! I loved it ^_^
~Have a good one.
so is mender a sex machine
Isn't this the exact same chapter 25? Or are there specific differences?
And is this the explicit one or the one that doesn't have the sex and gore?
2660648
But then one has to to think about how accurate Nirru's acting was, leaving AJ with a choice; listen to Twilight who has been her friend for years, or the guy that showed up a few months ago that brought trouble with him everywhere and was prone to lapsing into memories that made him violent. I cant fault her for this, but I also cant forgive her. It's one of those weird emotional flip-floppy things for me.
And as for the part about how powerful Twilight is, if Mender got the jump on her and DID fracture her horn before she had a chance to do anything, then she COULDN'T defend herself with magic. Honestly, this is perfectly thought out for me.
And AJ is going to feel VERY guilty after this all blows over. We know it will, because there are at least 15 more chapters after. I can't see AJ ever forgiving HERSELF, let alone how forgiving Mender will be.
I read the Forgiveness side of this one and then parallel skimmed both versions to find where the differences were. I honestly didn't see any, all the paragraphs matched in length all the way through. Am I incorrect or will every chapter be dual released from now on (differences or not) or was there a mistake?
How is it that Mender COMPLETELY LOSES HIS MAGIC HOOF and the huge 'oh shit, things are going to get crazy' moment while reading through for me was Pinkie showing up? I feel restraining myself from theorizing here will be to my benefit but I do feel like we'll have at least another chapter or two of this before things potentially settle and calm talking / feelings / recovery can occur. It does feel like a moment similar to goo-Mender, where you feel like things cannot go back to how they were at all anymore (and technically did not, in the first ending), but I know there are over 15 more chapters written currently so things must calm ...somehow.
Side note, having this, even if not a sequel, helps me in referring to your stories: its now the Pending Trilogy. Most of the time before I would go straight to saying / thinking Memory Pending before remembering the 2nd story is Forgiveness. That's likely just because I love the original name so much.
Dear writer:
Next time you're going to do this, please post in the original chapter something (Author note, note, blog post?) so we (I) can know and read this instead of the original. Reading the same thing twice is... pretty boring :/
Keep up the great work :D
So, I had a creepy thought (that wouldn't happen) after reading through the chapter that I had to share: What if Mender was taken away and Twilight returned to find his hoof as the only remnant of him. She has another mind-break, goes nuts, and creates a false not-truly-alive Mender out of the hoof. Maybe her friends stop her, maybe they need to lock her up, maybe she escapes to have a 'life' with 'Mender'. All ways creepy.
Considering how much changed and happened this chapter, I had to read it again. Considering it was such a good chapter, I don't understand the amount of people complaining about the lack of change between FP and CP (unless they read back to back). I had thought that it was going to be Mender being taken or almost taken to his original plane and that would be a few chapters but realize now that Nirru's words imply she can only take a sample (or samples???) while he remains in Equestria and conscious. Gives the possibility of faster time to healing and calming down if he'll be left.
EDIT: Oh. I can edit comments. I didn't need to do this second post. Oh well.
What.
What?
Corn?
Why?
Who?
Wait, the head-magnetism from a few chapters ago. His brain is a computer.
And his leg is an enchanted club!
Dude, this was four and a half kind of fucked up.
2658697 - Oddheart
A good way to put it.
2658721 - Azu
Indeed.
Indeed, my friend.
2658775 - plp855
Eh, no more than a weekly show.
2658777 - Lucky424
Heh, just to compare?
2658790 - TheGreatSako
Heeeeeee.
2658799 - Gemannihilator
Ha! You're silly.
2658850 - RoboRed
How... random. Heh. A bit confusing is it?
2658945 - Sir Baasz
It's better to give them the option.
Not everypony likes gore, language, and sex.
2659159 - Nikto
I hope twenty six cleared up some of the confusion for you.
You obviously know more now. 'Built' isn't as accurate as 'grown'.
2659234 - YorkBrony
He has extremely bad luck. *nods*
2659265 - Agarwaen
The rabbits are even worse and trying to kill both.
Heh, the humans aren't allied with the rabbits, but the kitties.
2659279 - Kitsuja
Heee. A standard reaction.
2659411 - thegabriel
He doesn't not like her. He's sad that it all fell apart more than anything.
2659484 - Zontargs
Oh, and I so know that. It's one of my most developed vices... 
Yup, that's exactly what the changes were.
2659622 - shirotora
But you knew that already. Heh.
Bio-cyborg.
2659968 - vicviper6
The only differences are the language and gore descriptions.
2660093 - MuffinTop
Forgiveness on either side isn't going to be a fast process, but I should probably point out that I at least partially support AJ on this. She walked in on her best friend potentially being raped by her coltfriend using his 'weird magic', her crying hysterically and claiming he hurt her to do bad things to her, and him giving some story about how it's not actually Twilight but an alien from another universe trying to seduce him.
2660154 - Kaille
Still, do try to sleep well. That I wouldn't like.
For being called this, I'm surprisingly pleased.
(1/2)
2660303 - Arez
I've been getting that a lot this chapter.
2660363 - grandmasterfred
2660622 - Bridge
Didn't mean to stress you, although I'm pleased you're that enthused with the writing. Wheeee. Hopefully 26 cleared a little up for you? It doesn't have AS nasty a cliffhanger.
I'm sorry.
2660842 - dargondarkfire
The reasons it's rated the way it is will be placed into the Author's Notes at the bottom. If you don't mind mild spoilers, you can always scroll down and peek before reading.
Yup.
2660931 - Biscuits
Not everypony likes gore and such. The other chapter has less descriptiveness to the actions, and swaps out a few of the harder swears.
I censored it to appeal to both audiences.
2662040 - Guardian Talon
It's all about description. This chapter is lighter on the gore than 27 by far, which will have a censored version again. It's up to you.
2662465 - Periphery
I don't mind if you just comment on the main one of course. Admittedly, both leg and testicles would be really hard to re-attach, especially with the way she TORE it off and then cauterized it. Although you now know she was after more than just the DNA.
I can't personally tell, being somewhat desensitized to it. That's why I recruited fluff writer and feels expert Azu to get a reading on the censorship needed.
2663244 - NightCore
I guess it was kinda overshadowed at the end with the reveal. It's all just set up in a way to make Mender look like the bad guy of course, which might be even more of his bad luck showing through. I'm glad you're enjoying it so much, though. 
Indeed. I'm a bit sad that not more ponies commented on how awesome Pinkie and AJ were.
2663955 - .Tzeentch.
Heh, I was waiting for somepony to go back to that joke.
2664342 - Mr. Yoke
Censorship Pending is the explicit one. This chapter has uncensored gore and rougher language than the mirrored, Forgiveness Pending chapter.
2664357 - Kaille
I normally don't reply to comments not aimed at me, but these are so close to my thoughts that I had to. The horn cracked not allowing magic is probably totally bogus, but I doubt AJ or RD would know that. Mender surprising Twilight and disabling her magic as soon as possible might look a little more likely in that scenario. They're going to have the hardest time forgiving themselves, still. Assuming anything returns to normal of course.
Ding ding!
2670210 - J4mie
This one has language and more intense descriptions of the gore. And I guess you could call it a trilogy now. Heh.
Nope. Only those chapters that have an uncensored version will be mirrored.
2680502 - J4mie
Also true. She's incapable of moving much more mass back with her. Hauling all of Mender back would be largely impossible. She also wanted the schematics for the bioweapon, however. Oh and yeah, that's REALLY creepy. That would TOTALLY change the feeling of the story.
2692976 - reyin poetic
Heh.
Heeee. You know more now, but those comparisons were really hilarious.
(2/2)
2701337
to many things to try working on and getting threw lol. thou i'm down from being in the 200s in my unread list to the 80s.
hmm i don't mind more gore really.. sorta.. depending.
guess i will add this and read the more mature version of the chapters while scanning the normals.. and i'm behind on reading again
there wont be major story changes in them is there?
2701337
It's okay, hopefully you know I'd never blame you in any way for your work
Either way, I made a top score, so it went stellar! Maybe my excitement for the next chapter gave fuel to make an interesting speech at the exam table..
And to clarify; YES! The tables truly seem to have been turned in the latest chapter! Despite what she did to Mender, I hope he'll show some sort of mercy
~Bridge
2701335 Pretty much, yeah. Got to say, I didn't really notice a difference! But, it was early morning for me.
2701337
swaps harder swears?
so what like fuck is changed to puck?
also as I type this my cat is breathing on my neck...and now he's forcing himself under the covers...I have come to the conclusion that my cat is a rapist...I just thought y'all would like to know that...
2702046
"so what like fuck is changed to puck?"
You have just made my day.
2701335 Ahh, apparently I fail at anthro.
2701335 Yes but reacting with suspicion is one thing, not even trying to understand the situation and assuming the worst is another. Besides, AJ should have learned that things aren't always what they seem from the Changeling incident.
2701337
. . . WOOH! I found my way into the author's MIND! 
Alllllllrighty then.
I'll come back in a month once this has (hopefully) resolved itself. Shit has gone from semi normal to batshit insane, and my sanity needs to be saved.