• Member Since 29th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 12th, 2019

D G D Davidson

D. G. D. is a science fiction writer and archaeologist. He blogs on occasion at www.deusexmagicalgirl.com.


When Princess Twilight Sparkle returns from the world of humans, she brings back the stolen crown—but she brings back something else as well. Now a seasoned reporter from Canterlot must convince the princesses to let him enter the human world so he can answer the question everypony is asking: what manner of creature is the father of Twilight's foal?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 66 )

I've noticed that you're quite good at taking really absurd fanfic concepts and making damn good stories out of them. This one is certainly no exception. The idea of My Little Pony meeting Nietzsche is one that I've pondered before, so the last section was really amazing to read, and I'd love to see more in that vein. I think you've hit the nail on the head with how a pony might react to such ideas.

Well, that was lovely.

Guaranteed this one'll have a ton of controversy around though. A pity that Quill became a high school douche, but that's what we'd get if something as naive as a pony walked into an American high school.

Hmm well I guess it was ok.

Comment posted by Pyro The Reader deleted May 18th, 2013

It wouldn't have worked anyway. If a pony could be tempted by the rage of humanity so soon after taking their form, then surely a pony born with the heart of a human would offer no resistance to their tyrannical emotions. Truly, a better outcome was not possible.

Oh, my. That was very good.

I really don't have anything else to say at the moment, except maybe "Please be less restrained more often."

I'll have to sit on this one for a bit.

Well, I like how you made the vision of a human high school more "realistic" than I'm sure the actual cartoon will make it out to be.

However, while I get that the human Shining Armor is supposed to be a shallow, skirt-chasing jock in this story, I find it hard to believe even a guy like that could be so unconcerned about "knocking up" so many girls. Even if he didn't personally care, he might be concerned about being saddled with child support responsibilities.

That's my only objection though. It was a very good story, and the Quill Pen character was interesting, despite that the whole "fish out of water" thing has been done many times. The way he lost control at the end was unexpected, given his established character. It was interesting to see how different ponies respond to the sudden onslaught of unfamiliar human instincts, in addition to unfamiliar cultural customs.

Plus, that ending! Great one shot, though I'm still waiting eagerly for the next installment of Demon Slayer. :)

It's a good story. Even tame, compared to some of the stories on this site. At first I didn't know why you had a Dark tag, but that became clear at the end.

Quill's exposition on the nature of good and evil in the absence of fate (i.e. a cutie mark) is an interesting inversion of the usual view that if something is predetermined and no choice can be made about it, then it's not subject to the usual moral judgements. His views imply that the typical pony worldview is very Aristotelian, with the the goal of life being "pony-flourishing" (eudaimonia), and excellence (arete) corresponding to a pony's special talent. Of course, the difference between ponies and humans is that ponies are constantly reminded of what they are supposed to show excellence in.

I find Quill's immediate jump to Nietzsche in the absence of the physical manifestation of virtue clever as well. His character is reasonably-well set up for that as a pony by his interest in the ponylitzer, and it is subtly done. His decision at the end doesn't quite fit that, however - does he switch back to being an Aristotelian? Or is it a sense of compassion that forces his decision?

Personally, I think the "ponies as aristotelians" element of the story is the most thought-provoking part of the story. You need the human and nietzsche elements for that to work, but that kind of seems secondary. That would be an interesting element to explore future. Or you could ponify Nietzsche and transport him to equestria - I'd read that too.

Hue...I thought he was someone else, didnt know he was shining armour

Well.... It looks like someone already beat me to this story.... Shieeeet

I am wishing upon my fairy godmother's grave that this will get featured.

Well, that ending completely caught me off guard. Well done.

~Skeeter The Lurker

This was not what I expected, but I'm glad to be surprised. I think that most people probably downvoted it based on title alone. Still, I predict featured box for this.

...he tried to wrinkle his nose and pull his lips back from his teeth in a flehmen response...
Oh my God, this is only like the second time I've ever seen this in a ponyfic. Your knowledge of biology is awesome.

When the movie - and season 4 - comes out, they are going to hammer this story with canon. Until then, it's an interesting sidetrip in the world of Equestria.

I've always enjoyed stories that talk about and make comparisons to humanity. Rare is it that I stop and think about us as a species.

The ending I thought could have used another paragraph or two. Maybe just a little more falling action and something to remind the reader of the point.

what the actual FUCK:rainbowhuh:

WHAT THE HELL?! :facehoof: damn...

Who else has put a flehmen response in a pony story? I must know!

My knowledge of biology is lousy. Go look at the evisceration of my latest chapter of Demon Slayer.

Hey, this was surprisingly good.

I'd be all for changing the title, though. I would NEVER in a million years have given this one a shot if a friend hadn't recommended me it.

Alas, shocking or misleading covers are my shtick, and I keep making them even though they have backfired all but once.

just peacefully going trough fan fiction.net, having some tea.


that title mate, you know how long it took me to clean my freaking laptop?!! still smells like Earl Gray.

One of my regular readers tells me my titles all look like filthy broadsheets. As is usual for my stories, the title and description are accurate, but the contents, I think I can say with some confidence, will surprise you.


no kidding there, read some comments and well decided to give it a go. pretty good I must say, that ending was one of the most unexpected I have read.
cheers (though my laptop will smell like tea forever)

now i just feel bad in the end

Don't worry Twi, she'd probably be horribly deformed or something.
It's better this way. Trust me.

I have absolutely no idea about how to feel about this fic.

Good job. One of the funniest fics on this site. :rainbowlaugh:

This is probably the first fic I read with humans (granted I guess these are Equestrian humans?) I love how you described Quills travel to the human world and how he adjusted (poorly), I felt the the conversation between human Shining and Quill was kind of awkward ("I banged a mare bro?")
Other than that I really like this one shot, and what an ending! :rainbowderp:

Oh wow.. I was reading it enjoying it then the last fucking LINE THE LAST GOD DAMN LINE COMPLETELY RUINED IT. I mean I was about to give it a thumbs up like it and everything then you did that... well enjoy the downvote because that is completely beyond bad now.


WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ENDING :twilightangry2: other than that it was great

Well... that wasn't a very bad story. Human Shining Armor is kind of gratingly flat, seeing as he has literally one character trait and is so smug about it that it comes off as awkward. The "overview of my new human body" part felt a bit cliche (though obviously it was important to show how a human brain's psychology differs from an equine one), the ending was very predictable a few paragraphs from the end, and Quill Pen's sudden transformations from sly professionalism to moral indignation to Nietzscheanism to compassion felt jarring.

I'm sure you already knew it, but the story sure feels like the antithetical brother of Brony Steve Makes Out.... Just a bit of trivia there :>

I've never read mundane planet Earth as such a Lovecraftian horror dimension. Makes sense though.
Cool story.

They're not biologically related, so it's not weird at all! :pinkiecrazy:

Hey, that's my exact opinion! Seriously doesn't happen that often. Thanks for writing it for me.

This is basically the kind of story that, as you're reading, you are constantly aware that it's a story. That's not exactly a bad point, and I'm not sure the story (as authorial-ly intended) would have worked otherwise, but the drama is almost completely outside the story. As I read this, the suspense what was the author was going to do next.

I forgot to mention this in my earlier comment. +1 for using zoonotic. :pinkiehappy: I'm still waiting for the "brony gives all of equestria mono" story, however...

WHY? Why did you write this? What possible purpose could it serve? If this is a morality tale, I want an explanation of how the guy who deliberately did something bad gets off with a simple bloody nose! That's not enough of a consequence for what he did, especially if the "real" SA is actually also the human SA, which seems heavily implied here.

I'm gonna go have a talk with your muse now. :fluttershysad:

A followup essay is forthcoming.

The point here was not the extent of alternate Shining's punishment, nor even that is was carried out at all, but that it was completely dictated by Quill's judgement (and not some arbitrary rule system). Quill could have just as well done nothing to Shining and the tale would still stand firm. Justice was not a key thematic element here.

"The guy who did something bad" is entirely contextual, and Quill's realization--that the power of will trumps, in his mind, the literal Equestrian physical manifestations of good and evil--and the partial cognitive dissonance that follows should grab your attention. They are extremely interesting, conceptually. Introducing a culture in which free will is, in part, an assumption and not always "free" to existential philosophies? This is good stuff. Perfect? No, but good, and a great use of the short story.


The point here was not the extent of alternate Shining's punishment, nor even that is was carried out at all, but that it was completely dictated by Quill's judgement (and not some arbitrary rule system).

If there were no rule system, then there would be nothing against which Quill Pen could weigh Shining Armor's actions and find them wanting. Without an objective ethical system both he and Shining Armor could understand, Quill Pen's indignation would be meaningless.

Quill's realization--that the power of will trumps, in his mind, the literal Equestrian physical manifestations of good and evil . . .

Quill comes to this conclusion because he is drunk on his own adrenaline. His "realization" comes from a traumatic body-switch, a day of getting harassed, and a fistfight with a philanderer in the park, not from reason.

Forgive me for thinking you had different plans :(

There's nothing to forgive. And the writer's interpretation of a story is never the only one, and not always the best one.

2599706 That's me before reading this. But more like this: images.nymag.com/images/2/daily/2010/01/20100114_hitler_190x190.jpg Hitler: This is what they call entertainment these days? It sucks. They go on with these random things, but this is the last straw. Send out the robots. I WANT THEM SENT NOW! NOW MAN, NOW!!!

I do have to say, this was a very well written story.

2598271 We can't really call a character we've only seen in a trailer flat, can we?


No we certainly can't. This was a good read although the end caught me off guard.

This is an interesting story, it's definitely a "humans are monsters" story but the evil pictured is a more insidious lack of empathy for the sake of satisfying personal wants than a an inherent sadism.

That said "interesting" is not "deep". I like the concept and I can agree with the sentiment somewhat but the execution is more hilarious than disturbing due to the sheer cartoonish levels of evil displayed. I consider myself a misanthrope but even I think this is a bit much.


it certainly is, but when the insidiously indifferent human monster has to pretend to be virtuous to get what he wants from another human, it proves that there is virtue among these "monsters".

I think I'm in love.

Not with the ending, though. That wasn't exactly my cup of tea. But certain descriptions and phrases you had? Fucking beautiful. Allow me to post some of my favorites:

He was frazzled. By listening to the humans speak to each other, or by listening to them speak to him, he came to the conclusion that the word fuck made up most of their vocabulary.


That made a certain sort of sense: judging by their rudeness, the humans were angry constantly.

I couldn't agree more with this.

Shining Armor, he saw, followed the two running figures with his eyes, and for a moment his face took on that same feral look that Quill Pen had seen in the faces of so many humans that day. Perhaps the disease was beginning to take its effect. Trying not to be obvious about it, Quill Pen edged away.

Pretty much every reference to acne being a plague was wonderful.

“I banged her, man. I shagged that nasty skank till she cried.” Now looking smug, he lounged against the bench’s armrest and threw an arm over the back.

This made me laugh heartily.

He had found, when he first arrived in this world, that his appetites were strong and unruly, and that had both repulsed and irritated him. But now he knew the delight of letting appetite reign. He wanted to drink until he was drunk. He wanted to fight with other men. And then he wanted to grab a woman and shag that nasty skank until she cried.

And this had me in tears.

Gold star for you, sir. Would you allow me to post this on Equestria After Dark?

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