*****************
Celestia trotted back and forth in her room. This was intolerable! She had ruled all Equestria by herself for a thousand years, faced down dragons with perfect serenity, but this, this preyed on her mind, an itch she couldn't scratch, a burr between her wings she couldn't reach!
"Trouble sleeping, sister?" Luna's voice asked. Celestia whirled. Standing on the balcony was possibly the worst pony in the world for her to try to explain this to. "Would a glass of warm milk help?"
Oh, no. And she was feeling playful, too. Celestia withheld a groan. "No, thank you, Luna. I will be just fine."
Luna cheerfully stepped off the balcony, into the room. "Oh, sister, I would hardly be doing my duty as guardian of the night if I were to let any pony, even the Princess of the Day, be so terribly distraught without at least attempting to render some assistance. Please, tell me of your troubles."
Celestia sighed. "You know my trouble, Luna. And I know how much it amuses you."
Luna nuzzled her with a mix of genuine sympathy and the sort of gleeful malice only a sibling can truly offer. "Why, sister, every pony in Equestia adores you. How could you possibly have any troubles?"
Celestia nuzzled her back anyhow. She was such a twit right after the New Moon. "Every pony, yes," she said.
"Not all of them quite as much as others," Luna mused aloud.
Celestia rolled her eyes. "Pip is a wonderful, loving little foal, and adorable beyond measure, yes."
Luna spread a wing across Celestia's back. "Oh, indeed he is! Do not tell me that such a cute little colt could cause the ruler of Equestria such heartache!"
Celestia shook her head. "You know the trouble, Luna."
Luna theatrically raised a hoof to her chin. "But if every pony in Equestria loves Princess Celestia, how could there be anything to trouble her?" She gasped. "Oh! A non-pony! Has Spike the Dragon so perfectly supplanted you in his heart with the lady Rarity? Perhaps Tom dreams of a shiny little piece of quartz!"
Celestia blinked. "... Do rocks actually..."
Luna's giggle was really tremendously annoying. And she didn't even answer the question. "Oh! Bellerophon Michaelides, is that the problem?"
"You know he is," Celestia said with all the patience she could muster.
"But sister, he gives you all your due respect, and he has been a model citizen in almost every way!" Luna mock-protested. "How could he be any sort of a problem?"
"I wronged him, sister, and he cannot accept my reparations," Celestia said, and turned to sigh into the fire. "As you well know. And beyond that, he is dangerous. More dangerous than he knows. There are still times, even now, even knowing him, when I remember that perhaps I should carry out those threats I leveled upon him. Twilight would never forgive me, Rainbow Dash would actively lead a rebellion against the Tyrant Sun, Lyra Heartstrings would slay her way to the throne room and force me to destroy her as well, and yet. What he might do."
"Might he seek to conquer Equestria?" Luna asked softly, still teasing, but with darkness in her voice. "Might every pony die because of him?"
"They might," Celestia answered quietly. "If he did what even Nightmare Moon was unwilling to do to her sister. As you know well. We are neither of us safe while he lives."
Luna's wing rubbed against Celestia's back. And then Luna's eyes widened. Her wing fell from Celestia's back as the dark alicorn dropped to her rump, laughing like a maniac.
"At last! At last! At last the truth comes out!" she choked out. "Thou dost not fear him! Thou... thou..." She fell to her side and pounded on the floor with her hoof, gasping out gales of laughter, and then sing-songed out, "Tia wants Leeeero, Tia wants Leeeeero!"
Celestia felt as if the sun had risen on her face instead of the sky. "Luna!" she snapped. "I am not joking!"
Tears ran down Luna's muzzle. "Thou art fooling thyself, sister!" she panted out. "Thou dost not fear him, and if thou wert honest with thyself, thou wouldst admit it! Thou... thou..." She broke into giggles again, then gasped, "Thou art excited by him! The touch of danger! The thrill of the alien!"
Celestia stared into her fireplace. It lit. That was what it was there for, after all.
To let her know when she was getting angry enough to set things on fire by looking at them, that is.
She loved her sister. Really she did. But could anything be worse than having a sister who knew what she dreamed about?
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
Don't forget, Luna: you also want Lero, so you shouldn't be singing so loudly.
So, why is Lero so dangerous all of a sudden? I mean, he's your standard everyman harem protagonist surrounded by badass battle babes. He's practically harmless by himself.
3034136
This oneshot takes place in SpinelStride's version of the Leroverse, where Humanities' iron-based blood is the reason for our lack of magic- but it also makes it a dangerous weapon against magic-y folks. Although how you weaponize blood is beyond me.
3034324
He's still practically harmless.
And then Celestia Joined the Herd.
give in Celestia you can't resist us humans
>>Pilgrims Progress
weaponized blood? ever seen Soul Eater? Crona and Ragnarock made a hell of a weapon out of it.
3034516
3034324
Weaponized? no, it simply acts as a buffer against most simple magics.
And some of the most potent pieces of spellcrafting... are the simplest.
Kill something? burn it, freeze it, slice it, dice it, all of those are simple actions.
Make something? Sing it. Will it. Want it. And it is.
But iron... iron resists magic even as it calls to lightning and technology.
Science has always countered Magic, like twins who both want the same toy.
So, I guess Celestia is turned on by perilous things?
3034781
Quite.
What are they?
Yes, yes they are.
As for Iron Pinkie, well, that's an interesting interpretation.
But... Not the most disturbing nor most interesting version I've seen or thought.
She remembers his hands while he preened her wings. Such powers should be banned from Equestria.
3034487
Love the hands baby, you know you want 'em.
Just one stroke, just one scritch. Right behind the ear. Down the back. Around those wings and further aft.
Turn even the supreme ruler of all Equestria to putty in those simple human hands.
Yeah, she knows it.
3034324
The blood itself isn't the weapon- it's the iron. In Spinel Stride's Leroverse, Iron weapons in the hands of a human can kill anything magical- even the immortal. Lero is literally the only thing on Equestria that could kill Luna and Celestia. Or, at least, do so without massive amounts of magic backing them.
3035178
There's probably a trick to it that Lero is unaware of, but the potential is there.
3034859
No, no defensive benefit. We've seen Lero have spells used on him before. He has a non-Equestrian mind, which may make him somewhat less susceptible to spells aimed at Equestrians, but that's not due to his magicless iron blood, just the spells being used on a target they're not specialized for.
Basically, human iron weapons are automatic aggravated damage against magical beings, bypassing damage resistance and able to strike lethal blows even on things that otherwise would be unkillable. Not automatic armor-piercing, and it remains to be seen whether, say, an iron bar in Lero's hands could crack a shield put up by Shining Armor. But if he hits a magical being with an iron weapon, they react to it like a mortal would or worse (fae have a very bad time if they're wounded at all by iron; Celestia and Luna might only have to worry about an actual lethal blow... or they might not).
3035335
So basically, if he stabs them with a steel blade, especially one that's got his blood on it for that extra 'f%ck you' factor, they're gunna have a bad time?
Lero don't need even to move his ass. He just need to sparks and idea within his quite influential herd and friends.
But it could work only if Celestia and Luna were bad rulers.
3034343>>3034516>>3035178
BLOOD MAGIC!
i may be kind of an oxymoron BUT STILL
3034424
She will in one of my future oneshots.
3034324
Watergun?
3034324>>3034343>>3036682
On the 'blood magic' notion, ever read the Codex Alera by Jim Butcher? There is a race in it that carry around pouches of blood taken from their fallen foes, and use to cast incredible killing magic.
For example, truly skilled casters of blood magic could dunk their hand in the bag and spray the blood through the air, chant a quick couple words, and a cloud of acid will roll across the enemy ranks, dissolving them to nothing in seconds. The BEST casters, though, the ones who had the most power, cut THEMSELVES and used their OWN blood, to create truly devastating effects.
Just putting it out there.
3045989
That sounds like it could get into some really grimdark territory there...
"You have no idea what a mistake you just made," Lero growled at Honeydew, putting his hand atop Twilight's head, the web of his thumb against her horn. She jerked her head sharply. The red, iron-rich blood flowed against her horn and down over her face. Her horn glowed a deep, dark crimson and their eyes burned with the same sanguine light.
"And it's a little too late to learn," Twilight sweetly informed Lero's tormentor.
Then the screaming started.
It went on for a very long time.
3048022
Oooooh yeah, prolly the only grimdark I would read.
celestia likes a touch of danger huh o.0 interesting I need more of this.
Story 44 is hilarious! Even though I don't like shipping, this one is SO funny!