• Published 15th May 2013
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Xenophilia: Shotglass Oneshots - TheQuietMan



Ficlets, short shots, one-offs and random tales from the Xenophilia universe.

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76: Untamed Life by warpd

Untamed Life by warpd
Sequel to Ivory Alicorn

*********************

“You’re slacking off! Don’t make me kick you out of this car.” Discord glared joyfully as a disgruntled Lero picked up the pace. “At this rate you will see your beloved wife next century.”

“Oh I’m sorry. Didn’t realize moving a two ton stone car with only my legs was slowing us down.” Lero sneered back with a hint of mischief. Despite the oversized vehicle, they traveled through the grand halls of Canterlot castle with nary a scratch or two on the ceiling. The ‘convertible’ putted along with two large cylindrical stones for wheels. The sun roof gave Discord enough room to stick his head out and let his nose fly in the wind.

“You are so pathetic you are letting that old mare beat us, and she’s sleeping!” Discord and Lero waved hello like good neighbors to the passing Ms. Inkwell. Pedestrians had the right of way on the floor.

Like any credible human, Lero had quickly learned to roll along with the chaos spirit’s antics. They didn’t meet up often, but he was not about to let himself get upset over silly games. If only more ponies took a page from that book like Fluttershy had. Flexible, but firm when needed. “So I take it you met me here because something interesting might happen with Twilight.”

“Muah? Can’t a good friend take another good friend for a joyride?” Discord’s hand answered like a sock puppet as it raised an eyebrow. “Left or right by the way?”

“Right.” Down the hall Lero was sure that would take them to Twilight’s room. Then again they were traveling on the ceiling.

“To Albuquerque? Maybe another time.” Discord finished off his carrot he had been snacking on.

“We can’t go left, that takes us to Tenbucktwo.” Lero sighed, quite aware of the game Discord was playing.

Discord slammed his feet into the ground as the whole car screeched to a halt like it had just finished a drag race. “Here’s our stop!”

Lero opened the door, but paused as he looked up to the floor. “I’m not that crazy.”

“Oh pooh, well you are getting there young mole cricket. One day you might be a quarter and a half as brilliant as I.” Discord sang out as he tried to unbuckle himself.

Lero sighed as he pushed the child safety button for Discord. He sprung out of his seat unto the floor and grabbed the car from the ceiling to put it down. The young man stepped out as he realigned his senses. “Well that was a trip. Saved me a train ticket.”

“Indeed! She also has great milage too.” Discord patted the large wheel in the front, which promptly ended when the car popped apart into a million pieces. “Oh well, it’s a rental.”

Twilight’s door opened up to reveal she had some company. Mithril stood with a noble posture, flanked by two unicorn guards at her side. Iron Hide and Holdfast Lero noted, recognizing the guards. A small magic reducer was placed at the base her horn, but that clearly did nothing to her superior demeanor. Twilight was technically of higher standings, yet she wore a simple lab coat and the ornery orange tinted goggles. This did nothing to help her appearance. Regardless, Lero thought she looked cute. “Lero! You are here much sooner than expected.”

Mithril teetered a bit in surprise before she greeted the human. “Prince Michaelides, herd stallion of the house of Sparkle. It is good to see you in good health.” Discord leaned towards Lero with a wide grin. “Pestilence, what brought you crawling back here?”

“Oh you wound me, little princess, and for the record our little man here is not Prince. None of the style I’m afraid.” Lero just barely resisted the urge to step on Discord’s tail. “Think the term you are looking for is royal consor--Ouch!”

Twilight, on the other hoof, is not nearly as patient with Discord. What a horrible Princess of Friendship. “My husband. Not a consort, not my concubine, and certainly not my boy toy.”

“Boy toy? That’s a great one! Ah, well, the trophy husband then.” Discord twirled his beard as though he finally found enlightenment. Enlightenment was soon followed by nirvana served by a smack in the back of the head.

Lero and Mithril watched as the two started to go at it. Lero sighed. “They will be at it for a while.”

“It is a most curious relationship. When my time was young and proud, we had to keep him away with our pure stallion priests. That this ‘magic of friendship’ is capable to turn even his ilk still seems unfathomable.” Mithril mentally shook her head from the thoughts of pretty stallion priests that she occasionally seduced. “What is the tale behind this story?”

“Princess Celestia wanted to redeem Discord and brought him to Ponyville. Fluttershy was able to make a connection with him and actually befriend him.” Lero’s glance told him that Mithril had stepped a little closer to him only to be blocked by one of the guards. “That’s the story I know. I was out of town. Oh he might be coarse about it, but if I had a title, at best it would be Master.”

“For me you will be my Prince.” She whispered softly. “Please. Tell me about this Ponyville that you reside in. Seems to be the place to redeem mad monsters in.”

“Friendly town, if a bit excitable. Been slowly growing with new blood due to Twilight becoming princess, but at the end of the day it is a tradition heavy earth pony town.” Lero nearly jumped at the sour hiss from Mithril.

She couldn’t help but give a hard stomp as she growled. “Earth ponies, bah. Valley dwelling, life perverting zoophiles.”

Iron Hide’s demeanor broke first much to Lero’s shock as she hissed evenly. “Excuse you? What right do you have to belittle earth ponies?”

The last unicorn princess didn’t give her the pleasure of a face to face answer. “My sentinel seems to have forgotten that she is to remain quiet to guard me.”

“Actually no. You are incorrect Mithril, we are not required to remain quiet. We are here to make sure you follow Princess Celestia’s orders which you will not deviate from. Your house arrest doesn’t make you queen of the castle.” Iron Hide’s visible snorts increased in volume. She stopped herself when she noticed Twilight with a dropped jaw and Discord snickering behind her. “Princess Twilight, excuse me for my outburst.”

“You are excused, but Princess Mithril, that was uncalled for. Apologize!” Twilight sternly told the unicorn who seemed bewildered at the thought.

“A-apologize? For what?” Mithril blinked for a moment before a ghost smile graced her face. “Ah I see, you must have had an earth pony taint your family line. Great Grandmother perhaps snuck her way under the bed covers.”

“My mother is not trash like you imply.” There was a dangerous glint in Iron Hide’s eye that she made clear in her tone.

Discord couldn’t help but croak out a mirthful chuckle. “Not winning favors as usual, little princess.”

Lero’s and Twilight’s glance told him to shut it, which worked much better than usual. Mithril remained silent as she casually looked out the window like something was a million miles away. “I apologize.”

‘Small steps Twilight. Small steps.’ Twilight breathed a calming breath before kissing Lero. “You are here early, dear.”

He returned it with a heartfelt smile. “Was picked up by Discord and we ‘drove’ here. The girls send their kiss and hugs which I will now deliver.”

“Bleh, gag me why don’t ya.” Discord stuck out his tongue hoping to get a tiny rise out of them. He wasn’t surprised when he didn’t get it. “So, Princess Twilight, what fun ideas do you have planned?”

Lero’s lips smacked as he tasted Twilight’s breakfast, she had apparently been eating in the lab and didn’t brush her teeth yet. Grapefruit with some honey drizzled on.“Nightmare Night tonight. Any plans?”

Twilight giggled manically with a cute smile. “I am going to turn you into a pony.”

Mithril’s ears perked up as her attention focused straight on Twilight. “You have found a way to return him to his unicorn form?”

She did not expect a sincere smile of rage from Twilight. “Oh I’m sorry. Somepony destroyed my work so I can’t do that right now.”

“I apologized!” She said quickly, earning an unseen smile from her guards.

“So something else then. All right, I’m game. Then we can go back to Ponyville.” Lero nodded as he popped his joints.

“Wish you would stop doing that. It sounds so wierd when your body does that.” Twilight pointed her horn straight at her human. “Let’s get this science on the road!”

The room startled to cackle with energy as thrilling music provided by the Discordian Symphonic Orchestra ( Conductor: Discord, Lead Singer: Discord, Lead Triangle: Discord) added to the ambience. “Twilight, the last time you did this the room exploded.”

Mithril looked a little worried. “Exploded? What do you mean exploded? Guards, does Princess Twilight normally cause explosions?”

“Well…”

“Don’t worry everypony.” Twilight shouted over the power surge. “I made the appropriate calculations and there will not be a magical backlash.”

---

Applejack looked on from her little hay ride at the Canterlot Castle as violent violet smoke rose from one of the taller towers. “Twilight is at it again.”

“Eeyup.”

---

Despite all appearances, the explosion of magical force was only ninety percent of the first one. Not that Mithril would have ever known as she stood shaking like a leaf. “She is absolutely crazy.”

The two guards stood stoically as smoke wrapped around their forms. “She has improved.”

“An earth pony!” Discord exclaimed with boredom as he sucked in the purple smoke from the room. “Twilight, where is your sense of adventure?”

Burnt orange with dull red mane and tail greeted Twilight as she beheld her stallion as a stallion once more. Slightly more stocky than normal, which she predicted, and very much woolier. “Perfect! How do you feel?”

“Just fine, thanks. This seems like the other times you turned me into a stallion.” Lero looked over his body. His hair was a bit thicker and somehow more alive with energy. “No wait, I think I feel something different.”

“Of course you would.” Twilight pressed up against his body with utmost glee. “Those other times I just made you take the form of a pony. This time you really are an earth pony stallion. Do you feel the magic?”

“Just a little, actually. Mostly in my hooves.” Lero strained slightly as he stuck out his tongue. “Still really can’t use it.”

Twilight’s proud smile didn’t show any signs of disappointment. “Just a little practice should get the magic flowing. Let’s clean up before we head back to Ponyville. The girls will be so excited.”

“Why of all things did you decide on turning him into that!?” Mithril stomped her hoof to finally get their attention after previous trys. “An earth pony? You wasted your time for that?”

“There is nothing wrong with earth ponies.” Twilight squinted her eyes at the unicorn. “In fact, you are coming with us tonight to Ponyville. This is a perfect opportunity for you to intermingle with the local population outside the castle walls.” Lero tapped his hooves together, hoping to get the juices flowing.

“I’m afraid I must decline your offer. I have prior engagements.” Mithril looked away with a slight upturn of her chin. Lero pranced in place before poking Discord for some advice.

Twilight wasn’t buying it as she asked the guards, “Does she now?”

“No.” They both answered unanimously. Discord shrugged with little interest as Lero returned to inspecting his hooves.

“Traitors.”

“Perfect we will all go together.” Twilight smiled victoriously which was in no way vindictive. Not even a little.

“This is boring. Time for a different scenery!” Discord snapped his fingers as they all disappeared in a flash of smug light.

Right in Ponyville, “Discord! I wanted to take a shower!”

“Yes, yes and do all sorts of naughty things with your husbando, ” Discord had on a Batmare costume that looked like her clown villain had gotten ahold of it, “But there is candy to be acquired and fun to be had.” Discord, the jolly fellow, went laughing all the way.

Lero had reared up the moment they had teleported from the castle and slammed his hooves into the ground. There was an audible ping sound as a magic shockwave echoed from him and spread across Ponyville and beyond. Twilight felt a slight tingle in her hooves and had a distinct impression of Lero through it like a magic ID. “Wow. Lero what did you just do?”

“I am not sure.” Lero looked at the bottom of his hooves before he tapped the ground again. Smaller pings were felt. “Whatever it was it told me where everything is in Ponyville. Magic is cool.”

“That was a life pulse spell.” Mithril stated with stony grace. “It’s a spell that earth ponies use to communicate, locate, and announce their presence. A frustrating ability they have; you could never truly hide from an earth pony and their ability to coordinate made battles with them absolutely frustrating.” She softened as she pleaded to Twilight. “I beg of you please allow me to return to my quarters. I have never been on good terms with any earth pony.”

“Do you have a problem with me?” Lero asked with no hint of challenge in his tone and the concern that a friend would have.

Mithril slightly struggled as she collected the words to say. “N-no. I’m sure you are a beautiful stallion by earth pony standards. I never actually saw one truly, your form is not entirely unpleasing to the eye just not as lovely as your unicorn form.”

“We are getting nowhere with this.” Twilight facehooved. “Come on. Let’s head to my castle and introduce you to our herd at the least. Afterwards we will test out that life pulse spell some more.” Lero for his part wasn’t quite sure if he was insulted, complimented, or all the above.

The guards grimaced inwardly and prepared for disaster. After all, they are in Ponyville.

---

The cauldron was prepared for the night’s festivities. Zecora pushed it onto her cart with the other ingredients for great celebrations; fire works, heavy mist, stardust, and many other tools of her trade were already loaded up. She had felt that magical pulse from Ponyville and concluded that the new princess had something interesting planned for Nightmare Night, even if the pulse gave her a distinct impression of the local human.

The Everfree Forest was always an untamed wilderness that Zecora had to respect. She walked the worn familiar path to the village beyond the trees, but the hair on her back could not stop standing on end. ‘Is the forest filled with unrest? It seems like it is possessed.’

Then the first sign of trouble crossed her path as a manticore staggered into the evening light followed shortly by cubs. Zecora carefully pulled out her staff as she prepared her stunning spores just in case. ‘Her movements are like those under spells, this foul work rings all the wrong bells.’ A cockatice slithered by her legs with barely a cluck, a pack of timber wolves meandered past her, and a cragadile casually knocked her cart over, spilling the contents everywhere, as it glided on the ground.

Zecora backed away from the dazed creatures until her ears perked up. There was a soft tune that the earth sang, something she had not heard in a long time. Unlike her homeland’s song, this seemed possessive with none of the motherly love. Zecora blinked, she gasped slightly with the sudden appearance of a mare in her face.

---

“Finally a pegasus that isn’t fat!”

Rainbow Dash could hardly believe what she was hearing, she was completely ready to go alpha female on the Mithril based on what she had heard about the jerk. Praise threw her off her game. Stupid praise.

“You wouldn’t believe how overweight the guard pegasi are. I take it that they are not under your legion.”

“No.” Rainbow Dash was sure this was some kind of snide remark or hidden motive this freaky looking unicorn was playing at. “We don’t have legions anymore. They were dissolved into the unified militia with the other races, though the wonderbolts are similar.”

Mithril frowned as she looked over the pegasus from her muzzle to her colorful tail. “Truly a waste. Commander Hurricane would have loved to have you as one of her legion legate. Then again, you could have been her superior.”

Rainbow Dash did not like how she purred that last part. “Laying it on real thick there. I thought you only had eyes for unicorns.”

There were too many pointy teeth in that smile. “Unicorns are the superior pony, but the pegasi are not without their charm. Despite your stubborn nature.”

“Yup, you got the stubborn part of her down.” Spike tried to help himself to another candy bar in the bowl only for Lyra to pull it away. “Oh come on.”

“You’ll eat more when you go visit the other houses. Don’t ruin the fun too quickly.” Lyra raised it up a little higher as Spike feebly tried to reach for it. “Come on Rainbow, no need to have a sour mood so soon. Tonight is supposed to be fun.”

“Oh speaking of fun, did you see Lero?” There was drool forming at the corners of her mouth. “Big guy has it going on!”

“Did you feel it? That was not just a simple shape changing spell, he really is a pony. That magical aura he has is heavy with density.” Lyra’s time with her winged herd mate had allowed her to share some bad habits, but she was not about to drool in front of company. “If he is the real deal we might be able to have children.”

That perked up Mithril’s ears. “Not as an earth pony, that is a waste of offspring, and I would implore you to have him as a pegasus when your time comes.”

Rainbow Dash’s head snapped back like she was just bucked. “Excuse you. Who the buck do you think you are!?”

“Time to nip this in the bud!” Twilight shouted before she teleported in a flash of light. She wore metal plated armor around her barrel and chest, an emblem of her cutie mark emblazoned on the center of her armor. “Dash, she has issues. Mithril, not in my house.”

“I can tell.” Dash drew back her wings as she took a calming breath.

Indignation colored Mithril’s muzzle as she protested. “Issues? Bite your tongue. My matters are my own. I have no need of plebeians to patronize me.” Twilight’s withering gaze stopped her rant cold.

Lero sat next to Lyra as they observed this awkward tension. “You know we invited her on a whim.”

Lyra gasped as she clopped her front hooves together. “You don’t say? I would have never guessed.”

“And now we get to take her to the population of Ponyville.” Lero said cheerfully as he swished his tail. He yelped when Lyra gave him a playful nip on his lower back.

---

Dinky galloped along with her little herd of fellow classmates; colts, fillies, bullies, and cutie mark crusaders, none of that mattered this night. Celebration of candy and treats, there was just too much fun to be had to worry about anything else. Her ladybug wings fluttered as she giggled. ‘Zecora should be here soon!’

The special Nightmare Night fog made by the weather team seemed to be thicker than usual. The group waited in anticipation by the trail where the zebra should emerge, but careful to not get too close to the Everfree Forest. “I think I see her!”

Through the unhealthy mix of green and blue mist, the shaman almost slithered out with unnatural possessed gait. “Ms. Zecora, are you ok? You don’t look well.”

Dinky flinched back when Zecora’s head jerk in her direction. The hiss made Dinky freeze up as the previously unfocused pinpoint eyes narrowed on her.

---

“I am not familiar with this fruit, but it is delicious.” Mithril stated regally as she chewed on her apple. “This is your family’s special crop, yes?”

Applejack nodded with a thin smile. “Are you telling me that you have never had an apple in your life?”

“Apple. Apple. Tis a good name.” Mithril took another crunchy bite out of the bright red fruit. “It was difficult growing anything in the mountains.”

“Twilight, all this time she’s been in Canterlot nopony thought to give her some decent meal?” Applejack gave the nervous princess a side glance.

“Well her diet is a little--.”

“The chiefs of Canterlot are excellent in their art, the fault is my own for not asking for this.” Mithril’s sharp teeth told Applejack everything she needed to know. Thankfully (or not), the unicorn was more than happy to elaborate. “Chicken, fish, pork, ursi, and many more delicious meats. Your era has made wonderful progress on cooked meat. Almost makes me want to stop hunting for a fresh meal... Almost. It has been ages since my last hunt.”

Mithril turned a bright smile towards Lero. “I would be welcome to a hunting partner.”

“Ok! This hasn’t gotten strange at all.” Applejack chuckled nervously as she rustled something else up from her stand. “Here you go, this is on the house. I can’t have you leave without enjoying good old fashioned apple pie. It would be a crime.”

Lero mouthed a thank you as Mithril took the curious pastry with her magic. One bite turned into a mouth stuffing gobble as the desert was devoured with impunity. “Earth pony Applejack, your wares are the finest in all the land.”

“You are quite welcomed there.” Applejack’s chest warmed with pride as the unicorn licked the crumbs off her face, a feat considering her teeth.

“I wonder if you can put meat into this ‘pie’.” All that warmth froze like the vengeance of a windigo’s breath. All the ponies in the vicinity paused with mixed levels of disgust. “What?”

Lero kept his cool as he mentally poured sweat. ‘Do not say a thing about Tourtière.’

Hallo. Du siehst gut aus.

Lero tensed up as he felt someone greet him. He looked around at the crowd. The voice was heavy with drowsiness, and not one he was familiar with. “Did anyone hear that?”

Rainbow Dash hovered closer to the ground with her cloud as the others continued to banter on. “Hear what big guy?”

Was ist denn los? Ich brauche dich.

“I felt someone talking to me, without actually speaking.” The female speaking with him gave him a distinct feeling of a young mare, he wasn’t sure how. “It’s a little creepy with the whispers overlaying what she is saying.”

“Like some kind of magical mind talk thing?” Rainbow Dash tilted her head as she hopped off her ground and landed next to him. “Think somepony is trying to mess with you?”

Entschuldige bitte, dass ich es vergessen habe.

A magical pulse echoed from the Everfree forest, ponies that were on the ground halted in place from the call. Pegasi that stayed in the air and Mithril remained oblivious for a moment before they noticed the other ponies with confused expressions. Rainbow Dash swayed like she had briefly inebriated. “What the buck was that?”

Twilight held her breath as she tried to gather herself. Applejack for her part recovered the fastest. “Twilight, that came from the Everfree Forest, and is coming here real soon.”

“Wait, what has occurred?” asked Mithril as her guards attempted to stand upright and vigilant despite the magic pulse almost knocking them flat on their dock. “Princess Twilight, is something amiss?”

“You know that life pulse spell you mentioned? Somepony just used it.” Twilight shook her head then powered up her horn. “It was different from Lero’s version. You didn’t feel that?”

“Earth pony magic is only detected by fellow earth ponies. Given that this is the Unification Era I wouldn’t be surprised some earth pony blood can be found in your line.” Mithril tried her very best to not spit that out. “Besides, this is an earth pony village, is it not? What is so strange about this magic?”

“I have never felt anything like that before, nor has my Granny mention anything like this in her stories.” Applejack couldn’t suppress the tingle in her spine and the gut feeling boring a hole into her.

“I think a mare just contacted me before the spell happened.” Lero spoke up over the chatter after being ignored long enough. “I couldn’t make out a word she said, though.”

Twilight’s horn glowed as she touched it to his forehead. “That’s ancient earth pony. It’s only used in biology taxonomy and she said it fluently.” Her horn brightened up as she squinted. Lero, for his part, only squirmed a little. “The whispering actually says her name, Gaia.”

“What!?” Mithril screamed in shocked. “Gaia? Here?”

Lero blinked his eyes rapidly as the horn light faded. “The Titan Gaia?”

“Close, but no.” Twilight sat up straight as she adopted a dignified pose. “The Gaia family were earth ponies with powerful ties to the earth. Their most powerful offspring would be bestowed the name Gaia. It would be like comparing a normal unicorn to Princess Celestia.” Then the twinkles appeared in the scholar’s eyes. “They disappeared into history, but if this is one of their offspring, then I can’t wait to actually meet one.”

“She is not here to make friends, Princess Twilight.” Mithril stamped her hoof with indignation. “She’s here to make claim to your stallion.”

“Not again.” Lero sighed heavily.

“Oh buck no.” Rainbow Dash’s wings fanned angrily. “That is not happening.”

“Twilight!!!” The looked up at a hysterical Spike on top of Lyra’s back as she galloped towards them as fast as possible. “There are monsters coming from the Everfree Forest!”

Ponies are very good at panicking, especially when they shouldn’t. Though most would agree three hydra heads roaring just outside of town was an excuse as any. Lyra skidded to a halt, but was able to hold on tight to Spike. “It’s worse. There are ponies that seem to be under mind control with the monsters. We saw some of the foals attack their parents and turn them under the spell.”

---

“Dinky!” Carrot cried out, immediately getting the attention of the filly and the others around her. Derpy grabbed Carrot and pulled her back into the soon to be short lived hiding spot. “Derpy, that’s our daughter out there! We have to save her.”

“We will, but we need to be smart or we will be caught by the monsters too.” Derpy took a quick peek over the ledge before ducking back down. “One of us needs to grab Dinky while the other distracts them.”

“You are faster, as long as you don’t run into a building.” Carrot felt with her hooves how close they were. “I’ll distract them while you grab her. Go!”

Derpy flew straight up as Carrot barrel rolled out from cover. The nagi didn’t have time to register before the earth pony full bodied tackled it. It flew straight into the crowd of ponies, knocking them all over. Then, with an actual barrel, she kicked it towards a flying manticore with a clean strike. Derpy swooped down into the opening to grab Dinky by the scruff of her neck.

Dinky growled as she tried to stretch around and bite her mother. “Dinky, it’ll be alright. We’ll get you to Princess Twilight who will break the mind spell on you then we can get the rest of the family to find a safe place.”

“Derpy, look out!” Carrot screamed with a sharp shrill. A hydra swung one of its necks and blindsided the pegasus. Carrot galloped as fast as she could and braced for an impact from the pony known for knocking town hall over with her butt. “This is going to hurt.”

Carrot blacked out briefly upon contact; a few seconds later she regained consciousness with her entire body screaming in agony. She could see the trench that was made from their bodies crashing through the road, and she felt something liquid going down her face. “Derpy, Dinky? Are you both ok?”

“I don’t know. I’ll tell you when I can feel something other than pain.” There was a heavy stomp as Derpy’s eyes shot open to see the hydra looming over them. “I feel terror now. Pain and terror.”

“Guaaa.” They looked over to their left as Dinky stumbled to her hooves. Dead eyes bored into them right to their core as she approached. Her parents tried to gather their strength to maybe pull off a last ditch effort.

They looked at their odds, and knew this was it. One last kiss and a ‘love you’.

“I am the terror that flaps in the night.” There was a flash of light and the hydra disappeared like a horrible nightmare. “I am the frog that makes you sound horse on a date.” A billow of smoke appeared behind them. “I am Captain Chaos!”

Discord, still in his batmare outfit, stood proud over the two with a snapping Dinky in one of his paws. A snap of his finger broke the curse and her eyes sparkled anew. “Fear not, citizen!”

“Why are you wearing a mare’s outfit... you know what? Nevermind.” Carrot breathed a sigh of joy for once, Discord was never really high on her list. “Thank you.”

Another snap of his fingers and the ponies felt as good as new. “Tell me, citizen, what is happening here today? I highly doubt hydra is part of the festivals. Unless you ponies have decided to actually have fun for once.”

Derpy nuzzled Dinky affectedly. “Some monsters from the Everfree and possessed ponies are attacking everypony. We don’t know much more than that.”

“Sounds like the work of another mad unicorn looking to jump the ranks of the bad guy scale. We have support groups you know.” Moans from a large herd of ponies reminded Discord that there was still a problem. “Oh right, let’s get rid of that nonsense.”

He snapped his fingers. Nothing happened. “Huh, someone just countered my chaos magic.”

Carrot looked up to him in disbelief. “Somepony can do that!? Wait, do you hear laughter?”

Shadows slinked around them as flashes of light blinked in and out from the corners of their eyes. The laughter grew louder and the voices multiplied. Discord quickly wrapped his tail around the three ponies and jumped away as a beast crash landed where they were. It looked like a mixture of chicken, boar, and many other creatures. “Are those draconequus?”

“No.” Discord eye’s burned red as they straightened up. His voice dripped with rage. “Jabberwockies. And it’s draconequi.”

“I’ve never heard of those.” Dinky huddled down closer to her parents as a dozen mismatched beasts chuckled away like hyenas. “They look scary.”

“Poor imitations of me, and they really tick me off.” Discord set them down. “Go get help or something. I have to take out the trash.” Jabberwockies blinked in and out of reality around him as he cracked his joints. That irritating laughter did nothing to alleviate his sour mood. “Don’t know who made you second rate copy cats, but you should have stayed hidden.”

Derpy, Dinky, and Carrot backed away soon as the fight started. They were still in danger of the zombie ponies and the monsters that lingered close by. “Princess! Over here!” Dinky shouted at the top of her lungs.

A blue force field sprouted out around them halting any advance of the creatures. Princess Luna descended from on high. “Salutations, my precious citizens, I am grateful to see thyselves well.”

“Yay! Princess Luna saved us!” Dinky quickly dug through her saddlebags and pulled out something. “Here is some candy, I don’t have much but I hope you like it.”

Luna took the offering with a smile. “Brilliant. Please excuse me a moment. Princess Twilight, we have secured more uninfected citizens, how goeth thee?”

A staticy magical voice sounded out. “We secured the Cake’s residence. We found them fending off everything with cookware.”

“Princess Luna.” Carrot meekly gulped as she got the princess’ attention. “Discord is fighting some creatures called Jabberwockies if you wanted to know.”

“I had suspected that fiend had left us to laugh at this tragedy.” Princess Luna shook her head. “Regardless, I am sending you to Princess Twilight’s castle. It is safe there.”

In a twinkle of an eye, they disappeared to safety. Princess Luna took calm breaths as she looked at the zombie ponies that banged away at her shield. “We will find the one responsible and free you all.”

---

“That would be Gaia’s Binding of Life.” Mithril looked solemnly on at the direction of the oncoming monsters. Her horn restraint was taken off in good faith. “It is a most devastating curse that would pit family against family, and those monsters are her creation. Jabberwockies were made by earth-mages as a defense against Pestilence. A very effective batch that were thankfully never brought to battle.”

Lero watched in the distance as Princess Celestia scorched several building sized timber wolves, the fact that they kept going while on fire spooked him. “She is still talking to me, but it’s all disjointed. It’s like she’s not all there.” The translation spell Twilight provided for him was a lost cause. When had tried to talk to the mare she didn’t respond quite right.

“She sees your magic not you, and it draws her to you like a dragon to an abandoned hoard. Thanks to Princess Twilight, you have the purest form of earth pony magic.” Mithril grimaced as another monstrosity was crushed by Celestia. “I do not like this. A stallion is not meant to be ‘bait’. Who know’s what other beasts she could be hiding.” Mithril growled as her sharp teeth scraped against each other.

“Hey this was my idea, I would rather her go away from Ponyville instead of destroying the whole town. She’s going full force with all these black vines attacking.” Lero said sternly, trying to leave no room to argue.

He was talking with the wrong pony. She fumed as she started to pace. “Ridiculous. Foolhardy. To risk stallions on the front lines is so utterly barbaric.”

“I am not going to even argue with you about it. So suck it up.” Lero tapped his hoof into his ground again with a small pulse of magic. “Talking with you just makes me all the more happier that you weren’t successful in your kidnapping of me.”

Mithril’s jaws dropped as she sputtered. ‘I-I...A princess does not cry. A princess is strong to be an example.’ The earth rumbled with fury as a mound of dirt grew before them. With a hissing roar, a tatzlwurm broke through the ground, it was shrouded by the moon as its many tentacles waved gracefully through the air, ready to strike. The guards gulped as they took an instinctive step back.

“Leave us be, foul beast!!!” Mithril bellowed as a spell blasted from her horn. The worm writhed in agony as ice wrapped its cold embrace around it. Mithril lifted it with no sign of strain and tossed it straight into a particularly stubborn blazing timber wolf giant.

“You can not have him, wretched mare! Send as many monstrosities as you like, they will all fall like the rest!” Mithril’s grin grew as a wicked idea blossomed. “He’s already mine.” Kiss.

Lero’s eyes grew as he found foreign lips on him. They were wanting. He broke it as quickly as it happened. A dark scowl painted his features as he growled out his next words. “Do you mind explaining to me the logic behind that before I put you on a stretcher.”

If she was taken back by his anger she didn’t show it. “A challenge. Gaia knows.”

As if to answer her call, black thorns the size of tree trunks erupted around them. The guards’ horns quickly cast a shield spell, the thorns scratched around the dome. “Warn us next time you decide the goad her!”

A large hill glided over the earth, tearing anything up in its path; centuries old trees toppled over as dirt flew everywhere. Boulders the size of houses were tossed aside like pebbles. Then it stopped. Lero and the guards gulped as they sat there, spellbound. Mithril grinned like a mad mare. “Here we go.”

It rose like a bud in spring. A closed flower big enough to envelop a dragon broke ground. Rocks bounced off the shield as the flower reached the heavens. It then tilted down to face them. Like Celestia spreading her wings on a light morning shower, it opened.

“What the…”

A thin mare, brown coat with unkempt long dirty orange mane and tail, lay on the flower’s disk flowers like a bed. Sunken in cheeks, ribs visible for everyone to see, and raspy breath greeted them. They could barely make out the poisoned yellow eyes beneath the eyelids that barely opened. “What the heck happened to her!?”

“Doesn’t matter, Lero.” Iron Hide threw up a light spell. “Princesses, she has revealed herself!”

The sun, moon, and magic quickly appeared before the skeletal mare in a blink of an eye. Luna gasped at the sight. “She’s in magical coma.”

“She’s been asleep this whole time!?” Lero sat on his haunches as the Princesses’ power made the air heavy.

“Then it is time we wake her up.” Celestia’s sun rose a little early for this moment. “Now!”

The combined earth pony magic from three princesses slammed into the earth. Twilight felt the flower shudder from the sudden block from it’s source of power. The black vines twisted in confusion while the beasts halted their assault. “It worked!”

Mithril sliced the stem with a ethereal scythe clean through. The guards reached out as the mare fell and, as gently as possible, caught her. “We got her.”

The zombie ponies stopped, swayed a little, then brightened up under the sun. “What just happened?”

“Did I miss Nightmare Night?”

“Hi mom!”

The Everfree creatures shook away the daze, but the fatigue made them easy targets for the guards to subdue. Gaia was carefully lowered down as Luna touched her horn to her forehead. “This is a dead deep slumber. I don’t recognize the magic.”

“Here, I have an idea.” Lero placed his hoof over the chest and tapped. He jumped when the mare took a deep breath like a newborn child breaking into new life.

“What? I don’t...where?” Gaia mumbled as she covered her eyes from the morning light. “Brother? Are you there? I can’t see.”

“Young one, I’m afraid you’ve been sleepwalking.” Celestia wrapped a wing around the mare and lifted her from the magic gurney.

“A pegasus? I don’t...brother! You said you would wake me up. Where are you!?” Terror crept into her voice.

Celestia slowly started to rock her passenger. “We are not here to hurt you. We are outside an earth pony village, would you like us to take you there?”

“O-ok, we can wait for him there. Wait! Is that stallion who woke me up here?”

Lero stood stiffly, hoping she wouldn’t try to get him. “Yes. I’m here.”

“Could...could you please allow me to be placed on your back. I’m scared.” Celestia looked up to Lero who nodded.

“Very well, Lero will carry you to the village.” Wings carefully stretched over Lero as Gaia rolled onto his back and held tightly.

Twilight cleared her throat making her squeeze just a little tighter. “Just to be clear. My stallion.”

“Sorry. I won’t do anything to him. Is the village your home?”

“Ponyville is our home.”

Mithril and Luna watched them go as the exhaustion of the night caught up. Luna looked over to the unicorn princess as she studied a necklace. “Where did you get that?”

“It fell off of her neck. I don’t understand the script, though.” Mithril casually lent it to the lunar princess. “What do you make of it?”

Luna had to dig deep in her memories to make out the old words and date. “This is Moon Celebration 1548 EC. That’s over two thousand years before Unification.” Mithril simply stared as the townsfolk came out from the little village to see the commotion. Luna concluded with weary spirit. “She was waiting for her family to wake her up, and they didn’t. To wake up with no family must be frightening.”

“Yes.” Mithril looked up as it started to rain on that clear new morning. “Yes it is.”

Author's Note:

TQM: If, like me, you like this and want it to become a full story, go nag warpd and maybe it'll happen

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