Xenophilia: Shotglass Oneshots

by TheQuietMan

81: Don't Be Dense, Lero by Goat Licker

Don't Be Dense, Lero by Goat Licker

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“I mean, it’s a nice seat and all,” Spike said, “but I’m a growing dragon. It’s not going to grow with me, is it? And my room! I love having privacy, but-”

“Oh Spike, don’t worry about it,” Twilight said, as she leaned back in her throne. Spike sat (or perhaps lazed) in the seat next to her, his legs dangling off one armrest while his head was propped up on the other. The new castle had sprouted the day before, and Twilight Sparkle, her family, and her friends were still exploring the environs. There were secrets left to be plumbed. “We’ll deal with that when the time comes, don’t worry. Maybe you’ll get the whole castle.”

“I’ll kick everypony out.”

“No you won’t,” Twilight said.

Lyra glided into the throne room, her coat shiny with perspiration. Twilight smiled and took to the air, flying over to kiss Lyra. Spike made gagging sounds.

“Good workout today?” Twilight said, casting a warning glare to Spike, who pretended not to notice.

“It was fantastic,” Lyra said with a dreamy smile. “Meditation in the rock garden is very fine, too.”

Twilight was glad the castle had thought to grow Lyra her own dojo and rock garden. The magic used to make this happen had to be extraordinary. It was amazing what Harmony could do. Rainbow Dash didn’t seem to have her own room, but in her words, “I don’t need it. I got this nifty throne, anyway,” though she said ‘nifty’ with air quotes and eye rolling. That was Dash, though; she didn’t particularly want anything except her herd and her awesomeness.

Twilight was concerned for Lero, though. She was worried that, due to his nonmagical nature, harmony didn’t provide anything in the castle for him. We’ll just make him something, Twilight thought. He deserves to belong, too.

From deep in the castle, Pinkie Pie shouted, “Oh giirrrrls! I think I found Lero’s roooooom!”

Twilight and Lyra looked at each other with happy smiles, and immediately rushed toward the sound of Pinkie’s voice. Spike didn’t move, as he had fallen asleep.

…

Twilight and Lyra managed to get to the room with Lero and the rest of the element bearers, and Twilight’s jaw dropped when she entered.

It was a circle room, with walnut paneling all around. The carpet was a rich pink, deep and plush. And, in the middle of the room, was a giant heart shaped bed, surrounded by a dozen lighted candelabra, casting a warm, sensual glow throughout the room.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Lero said, with a frown.

“My word, the quality of this,” Rarity said in awe, as she approached the bed. She pushed her hooves through the diaphanous pearl curtains surrounding the bed, revealing the scarlet bedsheet. She gasped as she touched it. “Silk!” she said. She rolled the bedspread over and spied midnight blue sheets with silver trim. She gasped again.

“Th-these are linen sheets made of Ibrtian cotton!” She ran her hoof across the sheets, and her eyebrows fluttered. “Sateen weave, at least eight-hundred thread count.” Her hoof, once exploring the sheets with purpose, now circled in slow, sultry strokes.

“You know,” Rarity said, her voice oddly husky, “this bed is big enough for all us.”

“Ahem,” Twilight said, and Rarity immediately zipped her hoof away from the bed.

“Well, it’s a large bed, at any rate!” Rarity said with a nervous titter.

“Nice getup you got here,” Applejack said, as the mares spread out to explore the room.

“It’s not mine,” Lero said.

Applejack pointed above the doorway. Emblazoned on a bronze plaque were the words, “Welcome to the Boudoir of Bellerophon Michaelides.”

“This can’t be real,” Lero said, shaking his head.

"I like your room, Lero," Fluttershy said, as she took to the air to get a pegasus-eye view. She glanced up, and did a double-take. "I've never seen a room where the whole ceiling is a mirror."

Yet another startled gasp from Rarity, as she stood at an oak table with gold trim, pressed up against the wall. “Look at all these massage oils! Why, these are the finest I’ve seen in Ponyville!” She rifled through the collection until one bottle caused her eyebrows to quiver. "H-heating oils," she said. She waved her face with her hoof. "Oh my."

Applejack pointed to a collection of vials, full of orange liquid, stacked behind the oils, all sitting on a silver platter. “What’s with all them stamina potions?”

“What’s in here?” Pinkie Pie said, as she grabbed the handle of the only drawer the table had.

“Don’t,” Lero said, holding the drawer closed with his hand. He instinctively knew what was in there.

Rainbow Dash flew up behind him, and pressed her mouth against his ear. “I know where we’ll be spending most of our down time,” she whispered. Lero could virtually see the perverted grin she was wearing.

“Come on Dash, it’s not like that,” Lero said.

“I wanna check out the bed!” Pinkie shouted, and she dove through the curtains, landing on the bed. She bobbed up, and down, and up, and down, and her grin increased.

“It’s a waterbed!” she shouted.

“Okay, it is like that,” Lero said.

“Told ya,” Dash said, and she left a quick bite on his ear.

Comments

[Nataniel]

Lero, degraded by Twilight to a mere fucktoy.

[Iron Sky]

I have never before laughed so hard at the word, 'boudoir.'

[BenRG]

Something tells me that the Castle Seed drew a lot too much from Twilight and Rainbow's minds about what they'd like to be in Lero's private rooms!

[Aunoraux]

That was Dash, though; she didn’t particularly want anything except her herd and her awesomeness.

Don't forget about her coolness and radicalness!
She'd die without those!

[RaptorCalloftheShadows]

The Castle of Harmony, ladies and gents. Or should I say, the Castle of Trollery. XD

[TheTownCrier]

Cue the porno music in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. And Go!

[Lord Tora]

6475522
Bow chicka bow wow!