Hound by VelvetHeart
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"Heart and Hooves day. This is it," Rose's hoof struck the ground forcefully in emphasis, "today we will fool the Hound for sure." Turning to her two allies, Lily and Daisy, she presented the stopwatch dangling from her neck. "Synchronize watches... now!"
Three clicks followed, close enough to be one sound.
"I can't believe it! Finally, after all these years!" Lily couldn't contain a little squeal as all three turned to the fence that barred their way into the Apple Family's property, each tucking their greatest treasure in their manes.
"Remember your training, ladies. Let's get to it!"
And they were off. Lily launched herself over the fence, her hooves a rapidfire thunder through the fertile earth while apple trees flashed by. She was barely a minute in when she heard the first sign of trouble: The rapid, insistent barking of Winona.
Lily tightened her eyes to slits and poured on the speed: The Hound was on her trail.
But Lily was never the athlete, and the Hound knew this orchard like her own garden - it clearly had the advantage. But maybe, maybe she could...
By the time poor Lily knew what hit her, she was on her back, skidding through the dirt, getting a rather intimate sniff of Winona's doggy breath. By the canine's side, its master stood, chewing contently on the last petals of a rasberry-pink flower.
"Ain't gonna happen today, sugarcube. You gotta do more than get up early if you wa-" Applejack stopped, then glared at Lily. "Ain't there three of you? Goshdarnit! Winona, find!"
Daisy heard the coming of the Hound as the barking through the trees grew ever louder. She'd tried backtracking, she'd tried going through irrigation ditches, but the Hound was undeterred. She'd made it past the funny treehouse and almost to the first barn when the world suddenly went topsy-turvy, and she woke to the sight of Applejack trying to get something magenta out from between her teeth.
Daisy could only produce a whimper as Applejack and Winona rushed off again.
Rose heard the hound coming, but hope had blossomed in her heart as she broke through the trees and into the field surrounding the farmhouse. Her target was dead ahead, deep crimson hide glistening with sweat as his impressive physique carried a hefty load from a nearby barn with the aid of a friend. Rose quickly snatched her flower from her mane mid-run, and began to shout: "Big Macintosh, will you be-"
At that point the ground under her hooves disappeared, followed by a sudden, but surprisingly-soft, well-padded impact. Looking up, she could see the hole she'd fallen through, a familiar mare's face peeking over the edge. "Made mahself some pit-traps fer this year. Good I did too."
Lily sighed as her flower disappeared into Applejack's gullet. Today wouldn't be the day after all.
* * *
"Sis, why ain' you eating any?" a curious Apple Bloom asked after she finished inhaling the last bit of apple pie that'd carelessly been left on her plate, hungrily eying the untouched treat on Applejack's plate.
"Ah had a lot of flowers today. Couple bouquets worth. Ah'm full." As if to emphasize the point, she let out a particularly well-perfumed belch.
"An' Macintosh?" the little filly asked, turning to the big stallion, who similarly hadn't touched his food.
"Lotta sausage."
Applejack had to jump up from the table to get Granny Smith's dentures out of her throat.
Not this time ladies.
Wait what.
"Lotta sausage."
That's it. I'm dead. I am no more. I giggled till I was gone.
Okay, that's a mental image that I'm going to have to deprogram from my brain as a matter of urgency.
2859031
Why do you think Granny Smith nearly choked on her dentures?
I... I'm not sure what Big Mac was talking about...
At least I hope I'm not...
Wat
I'm not sure how to take that...
I'm not sure what he's talking about... and I think I don't want to know.
Ahaha! Oh it took me two reads to understand what Big Mac ment when he said "Lotta sausage". It's the twist on the mare giving the stallion a flower, but in this instance it's the stallion giving the mare a 'sausage' to show that he's interested in her. So, whilst AJ was running around making sure no pesky mare ever got close enough to Big Mac, Big Mac in turn was running around eating all of AJ's suitors' 'sausages'. SubtIe like a brick upside the head, I hope that clears the air a little bit.
2859391
Want to know something silly? You can interpret this sentence in two different ways.
media.screened.com/uploads/0/2382/503988-sandor_clegane___the_hound.png
You cannot escape the Hound, foolish mares!
2859598
... yeah, we'll go with that. aren't ponies herbievors?
2863858
"It gets them hot dogs nice and slippery!" Maybe they're note entirely herbivores, either that or their sausages aren't always the meaty kind.
correct me if im wrong
or is mac playing for the other team?
gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxels9BoVU1qff8too1_r1_400.gif
2869537
Well, in the the xenoverse, if you DON'T play both sides of the field, then your considered "Bent", remember?
now that was utterly hilarious xDDD
Thats... thats actually really sad and makes me kinda mad at Applejack. Just a couple chapters ago we have Big Mac being so scared of ending up alone that he cries himself back to sleep after having a dream of him having a foal, and then waking up to find it was just a cruel nightmare.
And now we learn his sister has been actively keeping ponies away from him, ponies that might have only wanted to give him companionship? Yes, they could have been pursuing him for selfish reasons, but did Applejack know that definitivly?
Big Mac should at least have a chance to try a relationship without his sister killing it off before he even gets wind of it.
2869537
Gaymac is now a thing.
Chuck! Get my laptop!