Xenophilia: Shotglass Oneshots

by TheQuietMan

40: First Contact by FanOfMostEverything

First Contact by FanOfMostEverything

*************

The Everfree was unwelcoming at the best of times. Now, amidst the sounds of something barging through the undergrowth with all the grace of a drunken rhinoceros, anypony with a scrap of survival instinct who might have been lingering near the forest's edge was long gone.

Clad in tatters, Lero burst out of the nightmare wood like the Kool-Aid Man through a brick wall. He collapsed, gasping for breath. Hopefully, he was safe, his struggle for freedom and sanity over. If not, he was well and truly doomed.

All considered, the last thing he needed was a pegasus yelling into his face.

***************************

"Carrrroooot!" Ditzy Doo flailed wings and legs alike in a half-flying, half-galloping, half-cocked form of locomotion that only she dared perform.

Carrot Top sighed and rued her predictable schedule. "You're going to want to move, 'Drops."

Raindrops took a few steps back from the market stall, a nervous look on her muzzle. "What are you going to—"

Her question was answered before it was finished as Carrot Top lobbed a muffin (carrot, obviously,) in the path of the runaway blonde.

Ditzy's eyes fixed on the pastry (and a passing butterfly.) She fell silent as her retreat became a diving catch. She slid to a halt in front of her friends, muffin in her mouth and joy in her heart.

After a collective moment of contemplation (and, in one case, chewing,) Raindrops could wait no longer. "So, wanna tell us what that was about, Ditz?"

"Hmm?" Ditzy swallowed the last of the distraction and gasped as she remembered what she was doing before being presented with ballistic deliciousness. "A monster just came out of the Everfree Forest!"

Nearby ponies began to mutter in concern. Herds precipitated about their stallions. The florists were gearing up for full-on panic just as Carrot Top cried, "Hold it!" All eyes turned to her. She offered a wide, worried smile.

Raindrops, not paralyzed by stage fright, took charge. "Ditzy, what exactly did you see?"

"It was tall, and bald, and, and..." Ditzy groaned, flapped into the air, and shouted, "Just follow me!" She flew back the way she came before anypony could respond.

Raindrops sighed as she spread her own wings. "Might as well. Hopefully nothing to worry about."

Daisy returned to her bouquets. "Well, that's a relief."

"The horror?" ventured Lily.

"No."

"Oh. Darn. I was hoping today would be interesting."

**********************************

The clearing was many things. Bright. Grassy. Possessed of a visible boundary beyond which the laws of pony held no sway.

Most importantly, it was monster-free.

"Bu-but..."

"Well, that's a relief." Raindrops frowned as she turned to Ditzy. "The hay were you thinking, filly? Going to shout 'fire' in a crowded theater next?"

Tears welled in Ditzy's eyes. "But there really was a—"

Raindrops held up a hoof. "Save it." She sighed and smiled. "Look, next time you want to pull a prank, do something that won't leave the whole town panicking, okay?"

"...okay."

Needless to say, there were many apologies once Lero's circumstances came light, both to and from Ditzy Doo.

Comments

[warpd]

It was a reasonable response to the crashing giant ape.

[DarkCrusader28]

"The horror?" ventured Lily.

"No."

"Oh. Darn. I was hoping today would be interesting."

[Morphy]

I keep thinking of those three panic ponies in Japanese schoolgirl uniforms, huddled together and pointing, "Goziraa!" While a giant version of Spike stomps through Ponyville.

Poor Derpy, the mare who would cry Human.

[Banchoking]

Haha!

[conantheimp]

This...left me with a terrible idea.

We need to go deeper

All I could think of with those three being focused on this chapter was...What if Lero traveled to the Lunaverse instead of "Canon" Equestria?

I may or may not write this.

[FanOfMostEverything]

2934874
I wholly approve of this idea. Of course, I wholly approve of the idea of me inspiring ideas, so there we are.

The best part is that his herd could easily still contain both Lyra and the Element of Loyalty.

If you do write such a story, be sure to work in the phrase "naked bear."

[conantheimp]

2935310
I can't remember if they ever discussed humans again... I seem to remember something from the start of Hero of Oaton, but it's slipping my mind...

[TheQuietMan]

2935310>>2935429
I have no idea what either of you are talking about but I wholly approve of the phrase 'naked bear' being included.

[conantheimp]

2935488
Lunaverse has an alternate Mane 6(called the Luna 6) consisting of Trixie(Magic), Lyra(Loyalty), Carrot Top(Generosity), Raindrops(Honesty...but she has the same problems as Applejack when it comes to exemplifying it), Cheerilee(Laughter...after a weird explanation) and Derp(Kindness. She's better at it than Fluttershy). Together they take on Corona(Princess Luna's long lost sister), the Discordians(random ponies with no clear objective) and the Night Court(nobles with too much time and not enough responsibilities).

It's worth checking out.

[TheQuietMan]

2935530
Well that's my free time for the rest of the month gone.

[Coranth]

2934526 Nope, go ahead... :)

[warpd]

2941631
If you have a back-story then please followup on it. Have the setting be like a tea time shared with Granny and Lero and they are just talking when the topic comes up.

[BackgroundNoise]

2941654
Hmmm... I'll see if I can come up with something.

[Banchoking]

2941631
Strange places are the best for stories.