12: Problems Per Pink Palette's Pornographic Pamphlet by VelvetHeart
Problems Per Pink Palette's Pornographic Pamphlet by VelvetHeart
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Pink Palette could hear the trouble coming, mostly because it hammered her front door angrily. Still, it would be rude not to open, and with a sigh, she rose and opened the door to the sight of a red-cheeked, and very angry-looking Applejack.
She only got a glimpse before a piece of paper was shoved in her face, pages fluttering to expose a rather salacious piece of artwork. "This your work?" Applejack grunted.
"Well, yes. Is there a problem?"
"Yah used mah brother!"
"Of course not. Don't be silly. Your brother is Big Macintosh, the applefarmer. Any similarity with Big Banana, the banana farmer, is pure coincidence."
"He looks just like Big Macintosh!"
"Quite the contrary. As you can see, his cutiemark is completely different."
"He responds with 'Eeyup!'."
"Your brother isn't the only one who-"
"He's sucking on a sprig!"
"That's not the only thing he's suck-"
"Argh!" Applejack stomped her way out of Pink Palette's home, and the artist finally could turn back to-
*thump thump thump!*
It was like a deja-vu; within moments, one of her comics was pressed to her snout.
"Hey! You used Lero!" Rainbow Dash shouted, waving the pornographic imagery in her face.
"Of course not! It's another monk- ... ehm... heh.... yeah, I used Lero."
"You got his cock wrong."
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Well now, Dash certainly has her priorities straight.
Go Dashie!!!! Talk about shameless.
I wanna see what happens next
It's the fact that, out of everything RD could get indignant about, it's anatomical accuracy.
Oh gods that last line!
Well, RD at least said what is wrong with this pamphlet too.
Please excuse the poor writing. It's late at night and I'm not really an avid writer.
"Where did you even get the idea it looked like that from anyways?" Dash wondered out loud as she walked inside Pink Palette's house.
"Oh, Twilight Sparkle lent me some books on ape anatomy." Taping a forehoof on her chin Pink Palette continued,
"Speaking of that, I need to return those by tonight. Don't want Twilight thinking I lost them."
Dash shuddered at the thought of anyone losing one of Twilight's books. She'd practically tore their own house apart looking for one once.
Both her competitive and protective sides blocking out the image of a frantic Twilight in her mind, "He's not an ape though! Why does everypony think that?!"
"Well he does kinda look like one, and I haven't seen anything else like him before." Pink said matter-of-factually.
"But he's not! And how could you screw up one of the things that makes him so awesome? That's just plain wrong." Rainbow responded, not taking Pink's comment as an acceptable excuse.
"It's not wrong. That's just what I see him as having." Pink shrugged, "Artist's interpretation and all that jazz."
"Playing that card are you? Yeah, well I've had sex with him! How's that for interpretation?" Figuring there was no way the pink mare could beat that.
"Oh! What's it like to have sex with him?" Pink asked with enthusiasm, taking her chance to change the subject. "I'm sure it's wonderful."
"Oh, you have no idea." Dash said immediately, as a few of her favorite memories popped their way into in her head.
"I'm sure. With a cock that looks like that" pointing to her picture as reference,"How can it not?"
Realizing Pink Palette still didn't understand, Rainbow let out a deep sigh, and shook her head in defeat.
Unfortunately for Lero, he had the misfortune of walking in at that exact moment.
"Hey, anybo-pony home? I need to have a chat with whoever drew this." Holding it up and waving it around for emphasis.
Noticing both Pink Palette and his lover standing across the room, he walked over to them.
"Hey Rainbow, you saw the picture too, huh?" Figuring they were there for the same reasons.
"Wait, you look a little down something happen?"
A wide grin was all he got in reply, as Rainbow Dash realized exactly who was standing in front of her, "Hey big guy, pull your pants down really quick, I gotta prove Ms. "Artist's Interpretation" here wrong about something."
Note: If you want to know how tired I am, I read Velvet's entire story thinking it was Pinkie Pie who did the drawings, and proceeded to write my continuation as taking place in SugarCube Corner with some different dialogue.
2597208
Being lifted from a forum post has a few weaknesses. For instance, the readers don't know that this little vignette was about the pony equivalent of a doujinji artist.
2598508 Oh I know that this Palette is basically an nsfw artist. With private printing machine or renting one to print her works and sell to mares in Ponyville, at least it's what I was thinking about.
2598554
Pretty much, yes.
2598508
True. I think I'm going to start linking chapters back to the original forum posts (if that's where they came from) in future so readers can see where they evolved from.
2598093
"D-Dash! Let go! I'm not taking my pants off!" Lero yelled as he struggled to get his zippers out of the mouth of his lover.
2598661 You could always post what ever it was and who it was by in the author's notes.
I think Dash wouldn't be so calm about this, since she'd be massively offended at her calling Lero a monkey.
2598093 Actually, humans are apes.
2617741
Closer to chimpanzees, really... and a LONG way back. Like, seven million years, or so. That's like saying that a pony is a horse... but *worse*. Really, it's more like saying that a pony is a buffalo.
On top of that, a gorilla has a tiny penis, especially comparatively, and an ape is probably not much better. So, at best, it's the wrong shape. At worst, Lero could be very, very upset about being poorly represented.
2666557 Chimpanzees and gorillas are also apes. Ape is the term for any member of the superfamily Hominoidea which includes gibbons, orangutans, gorillas, chimpanzees, bonobos, and humans. So it's more like calling a pony an equine. It's nothing like calling a pony a buffalo as buffalo and horses only share the superorder Laurasiatheria, not even the same order, let alone the same superfamily. Plus, if she's using chimpanzee or bonobolike apes then the penis size should be more favourable than a gorilla's.
i loled at the end xDD
Story 12, Problems Per Pink Palette's Pornographic Pamphlet , was pretty fun.
Okay. That last line made me laugh out loud
I... Yea, that about goes with how I'd see Dash responding to something like that.
I could totally see Twi backing up RD here with: "Yeah, don't you know what a trans-dimensional sapient ape-like creature's phallus looks like?"