Readers Letters by VelvetHeart
**************************
Dear SuperSizeStuds,
I haven't been a long time reader, or a reader at all, but a short while ago, I found your latest issue. The comics and drawings in it are very pretty. But there is something I wanted to ask your readers, the ones who like big penises:
You see, I know a stallion who has a big penis, and it turns out he's not happy at ALL! The mares in town all feel he's very intemi intima a bit scary because of his big penis even though he's very pretty and nice, so none of them give him their flower. He's very sad because of that. He's very nice. Very kind. And he works real hard too. Maybe one of you readers can love him and his big penis too.
I'm sending a picture along that I took when he was under the shower and washing his penis so you can recognize him when you see him. He lives on Sweet Apple Acres in Ponyville. His name is Big Macintosh. He's really nice.
Your first time reader,
Anoneemoose
Anana
Nevermind
The pencil clattered to the wooden floor, spat out as the little white unicorn read the letter again, just to be sure. "Do you think I said he's nice often enough?"
"Plenty!" Scootaloo jumped in, "Just put it in the envelope with the picture already!"
Applebloom hesitated. "Are you sure mah big brother won't be angry I'm sending a magazine a picture of him with his thingie showing?"
"Don't worry! Once a mare comes and gives him her flower, he'll be so happy he won't care what you did! He'll give you candy!"
-----------------------------------
Pretty Petal couldn't help but feel a thrill in her stomach as she almost-cantered through down the dirt road. It had been easy enough to get directions to Sweet Apple Acres, although for some reason the mare she asked sounded a bit exasperated for some reason.
The day couldn't get any better. She'd rather enjoyed the cozy little spa they had in ponyville, prettied up by those two twins with their delightful accents. After the long traintrip, it was quite important she look at her best. After all, she was going to meet the stallion of her dreams.
And soon, if she played her cards well, she'd be impaled on that gloriously huge cock. Those massive muscles in his flanks, oh, the power that he could put behind his thrusts...
She cut her fantasy short when she saw Sweet Apple Acres' fences come into view.
Wow, there were a lot of mares here.
A lot of mares.
Tube steak apocalypse.
That is all.
The moment I read 'small white unicorn' I facepalmed... It hurt.
2589525
I felt a great disturbance in the Fandom, as if millions of jaws hit the ground and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
"SWEETIE BELLE!"
CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS BABY BURRITO MATCHMAKERS! YAY!
As I had Lero say in the thread, at least they don't have the Internet.
Oh, lawdy. Dying of laughter over here.
I thought it was spike writting the letter.
I laughed even harder when the true culprit was revealed.
Either Big Mac is going to have to punish the Crusaders or he is going to have to mortgage everything he owns to afford the gift they've earned!
bajezus big mac you have your work cut out for ya xD and SWEETIE BELLE!
i cAN'T BREATHe
And thus, Princess Celestia was thoroughly flumuxed trying to figure out how the tax breaks would be managed regarding Equestrias' first five hundred plus herd. Especially seeing as all but one of the members of the herd registered were female, and had tried to flood insurance offices and the like with claims regarding the herds sole stallion.