• Member Since 11th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Mar 7th, 2018

Timber Wolf


T
Source

Big Mac was vaguely aware of Applebloom holding his head during his seizure, of her trying to talk to him, but his head was filled with another conversation.

After a magical accident, Big Mac ends up in an alternate dimension. A world where humans are the dominate species, and horses are put to work. This is the story of a common horse, told through the eyes of an uncommon pony.

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 54 )

Good music choice, although they are both a bit long to go with the story. I had to stop the first to listen to the second. Maybe you could add a bit more between them?

I'll keep an eye on this. There's potential here.

Very nice.
Liked and faved, Can't wait for more! :twilightsmile:

FYI, you called "Smarty Pants" "Smart Pants".

The violin is doing something to him. But what....? :pinkiegasp:

ALL BOW BEFORE THE MIGHTY VIOLIN OF DESPAIR!

Eenope. :eeyup:

I like it.

Daemonic Violin of Despair. ALL BOW BEFORE IT! :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

She is singing to him
She wants him to play her. . . .

2581378 Sing her song and become nothing!

*Insert Doctor Who style opening with Big Mac flying through time and space* XD

2622421
Ha! I nearly spit out my milk when I pictured that!

Great story! Please update soon!

I like it... more. Continue.

Watch this be resolved due to the Doctor and Ditzy/Clara/Amy/whoever.

2632932
Sorry. No Doctor Whooves, except for maybe a cameo.

After this Big Mac became a humanphobe.

Great so far, can't wait for more^^
Also, don't let Lyra know what happened, or their going to have a another problem.

2678343

So we're going to have a homophile and a homophobe in the same herd?
Things are gonna get interesting. :eeyup:

I'm liking how the horses interact with each other, it seems fairly realistic (from what I know :twilightblush:).
Still waiting on humans though, including how they're perceived by the horses.

2881746
It wont be for quite a few chapters, but it'll be worth the wait! (I hope):eeyup:

Only two small grammatical errors. Great should be spelled GREET. And the teenage foal pushed TOO hard. That's it^^
This story is quite captivating, and putting in the sound links give your style of writing a very unique edge.^^
I only pointed out the two small errors because your a great writer and there are always people out there who judge poorly because of grammar. Even if its few and far inbetween.
GREAT WORK! I can't wait to see the next chapter!!!!!

Can't wait till people come into the story :)

TIMBER WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?
We missed you!^^
Good chapter, I can't wait to see how Celestia breaches the door between these two worlds

Very good, I am anxious to see where this will go. I am wondering if this is a wild herd, as they were historically. After all, I don't remember reading about any fences, and a farmer would have done something to the herd by now. I imagine that BM will get captured by humans, probably along with River Leaf, and will amaze the humans with his intelligence. Then will probably get rescued by the others. In any case, a good story and well written.

Boy are the girls in for a surprise in this universe. Also when are the humans coming in haha.

Twilight whipped her eyes with her hoof
Should be "wiped", unless Twilight is really into self-punishment.

there isn't any other magic trails.
This mixes singular and plural. Should be either "isn't/trail" or "aren't/trails".

puss and blood
pus

Good story so far. Hopefully you start to update more frequently, looking at the story's history.

I have to say that despite this being a great story, the only problem that I have with this, is the fact that despite his clear level of intelligence being a far cry greater than that of other animals. Literally being on par with that of a genius human. (Referring back to his thermodynamics book) he isn't using it at all. I would have expected him to use it to find some herbs to chew up into an antiseptic for the fillies leg or even carry her on a bed of tree bark or something.
He just seems to not be using his abilities to their best despite being able to do so. He had to days to help her and just kind of ignored impending danger the whole time

3085746
I dunno... Can't leave the herd alone, since predators will get him. Can't communicate his intent to the others, so he can't get others to go with him, either.

Poor Mac and filly

3085746 just because he reads a book dose not make him a genious on the subject and what your refering to is survival he is just a farmer that likes to read he knows nothing on survival he was set at home did not need it

3095128
Being a farmer in of itself is knowing how to live off the land and protect your family and livestock from predators. That is literally part of the lifestyle. That should be second nature to him. I can understand if his animal instincts for self preservation is making it harder for him to use his rational mind, but I have yet to see that happening in any detail. Actually the idea of animal instincts vs his logical mind actually sounds quite intriguing, but the real story here is why the Violin sent him to this world. Until then, my criticisms are insignificant

Damn! Way to shove that burden on poor ol' Mac! I hope to God that he can get Slate out without trouble! Please keep it up!

Well he isn't a common horse so those humans are in for a pleasant surprise. Go Big Mac! Take em down!

Another excellent chaper!
I love this story^^

Great chapter! Somehow I had forgotten to upvote. I fixed that.

He tried to bight the claws
I spent half a minute trying to remember exactly what "bight" meant before I realized you meant "bite". :twistnerd:

dismounted it's horse
its

The nimble digits of the two-legs making it impossible to come free without help.
This isn't a complete sentence. (There are others, like "Crying out for his father.", but in that case it feels natural while this one feels unnatural, at least to me.) You can attach it to the previous sentence to fix it, or change "making" to "made".

Two roped were tied
ropes

two of them were lead
led

Well... Shit...

*Audible Gasp* :pinkiegasp: It is searching for another victim... What musical hell will it unleash now?

i.imgur.com/FuGflNl.gif
NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooo *cough* *cough* *ahem* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *gasp* ooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

3619866 the hell of Justin beiber!

3624272 noooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO0000000000000000!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who gave Celestia the right to order every single other race around?

3648063
She may be a pony, but she's the ruler of Equestria (which I see as the planet, not just a country.) She raises the sun, she's basically a demi-god(dess). I think of her as the pony version of Jesus.

ie.
Queen Faust created Equestria and is Celestia and Luna's mother. So Luna and Celestia are like gods as well. . . yeah.

(DON'T HATE ME FOR COMPARING CELESTIA TO JESUS!!)

*ducks and covers head*

Huh.
I just now noticed that this is in the "Humans are Bastards" group.
Welp, here's to hoping this doesn't end up being one big spiel against humanity. Of course, it could be justifiable from Mac's perspective, because he's effectively become property. However, for the humans to act like straw-men who can only hate, would be taking it a bit far.

You have something good going here, just make sure to double check all the little things in each paragraph. If I were you, I would go back after finishing each chapter and double check for grammatical or punctuational errors. I saw things like "simple" when it should have been "simply" and other such errors on the same vein.

Also, what IrrelevantThings said about taking the "Humans are Bastards" trope too far.

3651887 The only ones I noticed as I was reading (and not looking for errors) were that he let them pull him along so he wouldn't "loose" the ability to "breath" (should be "lose" and "breathe").

3648981

I'd refuse just to piss her off.

And I again will bring up the case that none of the alicorns are deities of any sort.

1. They are not omnipotent.
2. They are not omnipresent.
3. Their powers are finite (otherwise Celestia would have beaten Chrysalis in a heartbeat, not to mention she would have been able to avoid or defeat the vines that captured her in the Season 4 premiere).
4. On the show they are never referred to in any sense other than royalty.
5. Unicorns moved the sun and the moon before either Celestia or Luna made the scene (as per the Hearth's Warming Eve pageant).

I'm not doing this for reasons of atheism; quite the opposite.

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