Some lavender alicorn princess had the bright idea to create a holiday where anypony could come and tell their concerns to Mayor Mare. Any pony. Without an appointment. All day.

Mayor Mare almost made it through the inaugural one without snapping. Or drinking. Or plotting murder.

Until the last appointment...

This is the story of the first, last and only Ponyville Citizen Speak Up Day.

The title was inspired by Lethal Weapon and Cola Bubble Gum. The story was written out of an attempt to kill writer's block.

Rated teen for alcohol use and (likely) future swearing.

UPDATE: Briefly seen in the side box. Hooray.

UPDATE 2: New and improved, with ColgateTM!

Twilight testifies at The Mayor's court case.

Hearth's Warming songs. Aren't they just the most annoying things ever? Sure, some of them may sound good the first time around, but see if anything still holds up after the hundredth repetition. The gramophone stand sure won't, especially once somepony lands the well-earned kick. And yes, this latest specimen is a fairly new composition, but Twilight already hates Hearth's Warming Wham! on a level usually reserved for falsified scientific proofs. Since nopony is going to be playing anything except holiday songs for the next moon...

And yet Twilight is convinced that it's possible for her to reach the holiday itself without ever having to hear that 'song' again. She's willing to make a wager on that.

She's wrong, of course. That's the fun part.

(Now with author Patreon, SubscribeStar, and Ko-Fi pages.)

Hey guys, the story is back on. Progress is halted, though. Go read the blog post.

The Ponyville Mayoral Election is coming up, and Twilight is excited to root for Mayor Mare alongside her friends. That is, until she discovers that in Ponyville stallions are not allowed to vote. Twilight quickly gets mixed up with the Ponyville civil rights movement, but when the time comes, will she stand against her friends?

I was hardly prepared for this...

Even though I am an avid reader of the "human finds himself into the equine society" kind of genre, most of those stories which happened to have an average human as the main character were simply.. absurd, biased against humanity or simply illogical right off the bat, mostly picturing ludicrous approaches and results, ranging from resorting to outright socipathy for no apparent reason to instantaneous mutual affinity between two alien beings who had never met before, again, for no actual reason.

As a result, those had little to none useful advices... nothing that can aid me now on dealing with the real thing, just dumb, over-the-top, childishly written perspectives... like a supersoldier's violence-ridden one-track mind, a fanboy's squeamish and annoyingly upbeat vision, a lonely human' sugarcoated dream of making out with equines and so on...

I figure I have no choice but to carry on my own particular approach by avoiding such distorted perspectives... we'll see the results soon enough.

Lucky Coin has always been an avid worker. When he’s told to jump, he says “how high?” When told to fill out form A38, he asks “how fast?” And when told to apply heavy sanctions on a struggling widow who forgot to declare a purchase she’s made half a decade ago, Lucky ensures that it’ll be his absolute pleasure.

It’s with this kind of go-getter attitude that Lucky secured himself the prestigious and heavily sought-over position as the new liaison between the Equestrian Revenue Bureau and the municipality of Ponyville. The catch? After rifling through the new files he inherited, much to his shock, he winds up uncovering the fraudulent background of an Element Bearer.

What can be done when criminal activities originate from a pony immuned from prosecution? Can the Bureau find a loophole to hoofcuff the perpetrator? And if so, will Equestria stay safe with one of their protectors wasting away behind bars? Is this bureaucratic maelstrom and its many political ramifications even worth the hassle?

For Lucky Coin, the answer couldn’t be clearer: The law supersedes everything. It’s up to him to set this mess straight.

An odd quirk of Equestrian law is that the mayor of an Earth Pony town can be challenged to a fertility contest to prove that she's fit for office.

Night Flower thinks she's got a chance.

Mayor Mare isn't going to give up without a fight, though.

pre-read by metallusionismagic

After her sister and the crusaders have yet another accident, Applejack finds herself helping out with Town Hall repairs instead of celebrating the night before Hearts and Hooves Day with her family. Nothing but tough, hard, pointless work for the day. All while her family enjoys the festivities without her. Turns out she's not the only one missing out...

She already sees Mayor Mare on a regular basis, why not just invite her over?

Preread by The Albinocorn. He writes much better stories than me...

Mayor Mare has a plan to boost economic growth and create jobs in Ponyville by exploiting the success of 'Friendship is Magic', and running tours to let the human fans meet the ponies behind their favourite characters. But will the real Elements of Harmony all play along?