My name is James Clark, and I am a Private Military Contractor. No, not Mercenary. Yes, there is a difference, but that's beside the point.

Ok, where was I? Ah yes, I was just entering my office in Downtown Houston one afternoon to hear a job offer. When I got there, I found a beautiful, robe-wearing woman waiting for me. Now, in this day and age, most people would find that strange. I didn't for two reasons.

1) In this line of work, you run into a few crazies. If I had a dollar for every nut-job I turned away, I could buy a small European country.

2) It was Halloween. Hell, I was on my way to a party dressed in a replica suit of Veteran Ranger Armor from Fallout: New Vegas, complete with gas mask and real riot gear I borrowed from a friend on the SWAT team. I was gonna win the costume contest for sure!

I'm getting off topic, aren't I? Anyways, this weirdo offered me a job without going into much detail. No location, no objective, not even a dollar amount The only thing I got out of her was the promise that I would be saving thousands, if not millions of lives.

Every instinct told me to turn the job down, and yet I still accepted it. Maybe the idea of playing hero again had its appeal.

God, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

The death metal vocalist Coal Silvermane vs the DJ Vinyl Scratch. Two musicians, two genres, one scene, mutual hatred. No matter who wins.... the audience will face certain deaf...

[CANCELED]

After GLaDOS is uploaded into a potato battery, Wheatley humiliates the AI even further by uploading her into a project that was abandoned by Aperture a long time ago. In the blink of an eye, she finds herself in a deformed body of flesh and bone that resembles an equine, and is just as powerless as one too. It comes with all of its needs and bodily functions as well. To make matters worse, she's trapped in a land full of insufferable creatures that just want to make 'friends.' Will GLaDOS' cold, sadistic sense of humor and morals get the better of the ponies? Or will they peel away the once artificial being's metallic shell and find that there's a softer side? Probably not, but it's worth a try.

Story Theme: Tyler Bates - I Love You (Watchmen OST)

Thanks to Meeester, MrJoshy, and funkyferret for proofreading/reviewing.

Cover by Fedte16.

It has been several months since the disappearance of Twilight Sparkle..

One night, after watching her sister raise the Moon and set the heavens alight, Princess Celestia begins to bed down for the night, only to be interrupted by portal forming in her room. From out of the portal comes none other than Twilight Sparkle, garbed in strange armor.

Princess Celestia, along with Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor, are overjoyed by the Element of Magic's return, but are justifiably curious as to where she had been and what she had been doing. And so, Twilight begins her tale. A tale of survival against impossible odds. A tale of a people fighting for the most basic right of all sentient beings. The right to exist.

After some pressure from her sister, Princess Luna decides to join up for a dating website in order to meet a nice pony and settle down. Who she finds, however, has more in common with her than you would think.

Teen for sexual themes and a bit of adult humour.

Contains a large portion of ridiculousness and shenanigans. Caution is advised.

Artwork by the wonderfully talented dishwasher1910 on DeviantArt.

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