by SoulHook

First published

Two musicians, two genres, one scene, mutual hatred. Vinyl Scratch vs Mane Death

The death metal vocalist Coal Silvermane vs the DJ Vinyl Scratch. Two musicians, two genres, one scene, mutual hatred. No matter who wins.... the audience will face certain deaf...


Meet the musician

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“Isn't it curious that ponies of such difference can find interest in each other?” the princess of night said, smiling with excitement at her elder sibling. Celestia smiled back, knowing exactly what Luna meant by that. But she knew more than her, thus not very impressed with the fact. Instead she glanced playfully between her and the scroll, almost giggling.

“Well, you know what they say, Luna: until death do us part, we'll rot hoof in hoof”.

Luna stared with dumbfound confusion at her elder sister. “I was more going to say... it's getting faster... harder....scooting...”.


Part 1: Meet the musician

“Ponies of mother-bucking Manehattan!!!” echoed out from the stage to the large crowd of cheering ponies, roaring out their mutual craze over seeing the very equines they had been looking forward to since even before they ordered their tickets. A horde of thousands stood upon their hindlegs and held their forelegs in the air while adding their voices to the loud screams aimed at the stallion standing on the scene before this raging audience dressed in leather, chains, bracers and socially unaccepted mane-styles aside from their provoking tattoos.

“I said: PONIES OF MOTHER-BUCKING MANE... HATTA~AN!!!” the stallion repeated with a bestial growl and struck the air with his fore hoof to warm up the crowd further. The roar grew wilder and more excited, just the way this pony wanted it.

“That's bucking better... now what the buck are you all doing here?!!” he screamed through the microphone in his hoof, encouraging his fans and admirers to return his loud voice with their united strength.

“Mane Death!!!” he heard weakly at first, causing him to arch his eyebrows in anger and shake his head.

“Hay, what the actual bucking Nightmare Moon was that? You guys paid for this just because you were looking a little halfhearted forward to it? WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU HERE FOR?!!” he repeated while the band behind him gripped their instruments. The two unicorns focused on their plugged-in guitars as the first pegasus picked up his bass guitar so the second one could sit down behind his drums.

Finally, the dark gray earth pony vocalist ran a fore hoof through his long, pitch-black mane, combing it back while the audience used all their might to tear apart their voices and scream.

“MANE DEATH!!!” filled the air as some of the more untrained ponies in the crowd fainted from lack of oxygen.

In that moment, the stallion grinned at the exact same time the pegasus drummer hit his sticks in the recognizable rhythm. The vocalist tensed his throat and erupted the deepest growl known to ponykind. The dark and vibrating voice scrambled his vocal cords and exerted every piece of his lungs to extract the demonic and not to mention incoherent noise known as lyrics. The guitars and bass burst out the raging sounds to ravage the air with masses of mauling strains squeezing out the violent cords.

The dawn breaks into pieces, releasing the monsters
Finishing of any traces of the night, it's time for the hunt
Seeking for the fragile flesh we all live to kill for
On the beacon we send you the words of hunger
Follow the stench of fear and disruption in the air
Don't know why we do this, but we know for sure...

The growling stallion paused and threw his head back, waiting for the audience to scream the next sentence. That pose was their cue.

It's for the instincts!!!

The stallions smiled and put the mic back to his warm mouth to continue his demonic screaming and growling, the guitars following his change of voice while the drummer used the double pedal for the chorus.

The blood rains for an eternity upon us all
It's for the instincts
Feed the cannibal that drives you insane
It's for the instincts
Only way to silence it
It's for the instincts
All the death we go through...

- - - -
After three hours of constant growling and screaming accompanied by loud screeches from guitars and violent abusing on the drums, the door into a dressing room behind the scene flew up from a hard thud to it. The entire band of stallions went inside one after another, warm and sweaty after their performance on the even warmer scene.

“Dude, those spotlights are getting stronger for each day, I'm telling you!” the drummer said as he sat down in one of the large bean-bags, sinking comfortably down while throwing away his drumsticks. The other stallions mumbled their agreeing to it, all of them heading to a different part of the large room they had been given after the concert.

“Yeah, it was unusually hot up there...” the first dark green unicorn said as he opened the refrigerator to grab a beer for each one in the band.

“Not as hot as you, Cord Screech” the other light blue unicorn said which caused the others to laugh out heartily. “Shut the buck up, Stricken!” Cord exclaimed and threw a can straight into his face, knocking him down with a hard thud. The others laughed even harder.

“What the buck are you guys doing?” a new voice asked, causing everypony including the beaten one to look at the door into the room. The steel gray stallion the crowd had been screaming with and at came in and closed the door, sighing at what he just saw.

“Throw me one” he said and instantly received a cold can. “So what was this about?” he then asked.

The ponies fell into silence, not moving a muscle until Cord decided to speak.

“Stricken was up with his damn coltcuddler jokes again, saying I was hot”.

The steel gray pony cocked an eyebrow and opened his beer, gulping once before rubbing his chin with the hard can.

“Well... are we invited to the wedding?”.

The silence died as laughter exploded in the entire room again, causing the drummer to fall off his bean-bag and the other guitarists to choke. As the vocalist stallion chuckled too, he soon fell to the floor with a thud when another can of beer flew into his forehead.

“Ahahahaha!! I can't... I can't breathe!! Hahahaahaha!” the drummer known as Wide Beat laughed...

- - - -
In another location, the other side of Manehattan to be more precise, a very different kind of audience danced in the rhythm to the extremely loud music shaking the floor. Large sub-woofers stood right next to a mare everypony had been looking forward to meet. The ponies jumped, slid and shuffled their way around the floor as they put their hooves in the air for the one and only DJ controlling this wild beat and the lights showering the crowd like harmless lasers.

“EVERYPONY!!!” she yelled through the microphone connected to her headphones, clopping her fore hooves so the audience would catch the hint. Soon they all got up on their hindlegs and followed her, cheering all the while.

“What are your orders?!!”.

The sound from the audience was puny in comparison to the ear-cracking beats flowing from the loudspeakers. But she knew, and it was alright. That was just her way of showing it was going to get worse. The sound rapidly increased in pace until almost none of the contractions remained.

“D-D-D-DROP THE BASS!!!” the mare commanded and adjusted her mixer tablet, restarting the current wave with a twice as strong beat aside from the different styles of techno, dubbstep and hardstyle which she had combined into a pure flood of raging massacre, sending the audience into a total craze of shuffling. The female equine nodded her head to the rhythm, enjoying seeing the hundreds of ponies in this huge building being here just for her sake.

These killing waves of music was her reward to them all, her way of showing gratitude to them all. Her list was long, her variation of stage effects even longer, but her passion was endless. Nothing could stop this unicorn from executing her performance...

That was until the lights suddenly died together with the music, silencing everything in a second. The crowd stopped moving together with the DJ as she looked everywhere for what happened. Suddenly she understood.

“Manehattan guards! Everypony freeze!” the sergeant of the raiding guards yelled out from the darkness, cuing the raving ponies to scream in fear and run for the closest exit.

“Oh sh-*censor bleep*-t!” the DJ said and quickly disconnected her portable mixing table before rushing for the emergency exit right behind her, leaving the large warehouse which she had been borrowing without asking the owner...

- - - -
Back at the other part of Manehattan, the steel gray stallion sat outside his band's dressing room, philosophizing about the mysteries of life until somepony broke it, causing him to turn his head to that dark brown mare coming towards him from the long hallway. She was blonde with hundreds of curls impossible to count.

“Why hello there... why is the great rock star outside his room after another successful concert?” the mare known as Golden Brochure asked, showing her concern since she was this band's manager.

The stallion looked in the upper corner of his eyes, hinting for his manager to listen at the sounds coming from the very room he had left. Golden leaned towards the door to hear the following muffled sounds:

“Guys, for the frigging love of Celestia! Sto-”.

“Come on, Cord, take the face-hump like a stallion! Oh yeah, that's the spirit!!”.

“Hahaha! Face-hump, face-hump, Cord's getting a face-hump!”.

“Ahahahaha!! I can't... I just ca-.... I can't... hahaha... frigging... ahaahahahah! Breathe!”.


The manager moved away from the door. “Oh... I see”. The stallion nodded, hoping she was here for something he could put his mind on in difference from this, which she certainly had.

“However, aside from your band's overactive sexuality...” she said which cocked an eyebrow on the sitting stallion. “The location for your next concert has been decided”.

“Decided? Already? Hey, we're not on a tour right now, we're mixing our new album! Wasn't this just for charity?” the male complained and got up on his hooves to face the mare keeping her relaxed face.

“Yes, charity for starving timber wolfs in Everfree Forest, but you see... our contract had one little line written in italic...” she explained and kept the smiling going.

“Italic? What do you mean?”.

Suddenly it wasn't that easy holding the face anymore, so the mare started avoiding his look, grinning nervously. “Yeah, italic. Hee hee hee.... nothing too serious, however”.

The stallion raised his other eyebrow, demanding by simply grimacing for her to explain very clearly from now on.

“Buuuut... okay, let's say I've done ONE teeny-tiny little mistake in my carrier as your manager, and...”.

“I still haven't forgotten that time you sent us to the wrong interview gig!” the stallion exclaimed to show how wrong she was already in that sentence.

“Hehe... you mean that one at magic kindergar-?”

“Those unicorn kids are CRAZY!!”.

“Yeah, I've heard the rumo-”.

“Deep Bass is still having nightmares! Begging the kids to stop ask him how he plays bass with hooves!!”.

“Now then, let's not...”.

“They made Justin Beaver fans look like sleeping infants!! My bass player will never be the same again!!”.

“Yes, yes, but...”.


“ALRIGHT!” the mare finally exclaimed and held a hoof towards him so he would stop. “Okay, I'll tell you what was written in italic, relax....” she used as a reason which instantly silenced the pouting stallion. She touched a few of her blonde curls and sighed.

“All in all, the contract said you were to play this concert today, and a total of three others in another town in two weeks. However, there's a problem: there's only one place to play it, and somepony else has it booked too for some reason which I don't know how”.

The stallion sighed. “I can understand if there's only one stage, but what do you mean somepony else has it booked? Then why in the bucking name of Discord is it already booked if it's in our contract?”.

The mare shrugged. “Beats me. But no matter what, we have to travel to that town and make sure we get the scene first”.

“So... what? We're gonna fix this mess by stealing the other pony's show?” he asked reluctantly, already disliking the sound of this. Unfortunately for him, the manager nodded. “Yes, we simply have to buy her out, somehow. It's not a really big or famous town, so it shouldn't be so hard”.

“Where's it at?”.

“Ponyville. Not far from Canterlot”.

“And who is it we're competing against?”.

The blonde mane bit her lower lips, knowing this wasn't going to be easy to say.

- - - -
Meanwhile at the part of Manehattan where the mare had outrun the guards, the chilly night crept deep inside this specific mare's skin. But she ignored the cold and kept running back to her place. Or well, it wasn't really HER place, more kind of a friend to a friend's place at the back alleys of this town's less rich parts. After ten minutes of constant galloping through harbors, main streets and finally at the block she looked for, the fine mare could breathe regularly again. She saw the lights from one of the apartments in the block she was in and ran inside through the main door, up the smelly stairs to the third level and knocked on door number sixteen.

After a few seconds, the door opened and presented a stallion in an orange coat smiling at the mare as he stepped aside to let her in.

“Ey, there's the heroine of rave! How did the play go?” he asked as the pony he talked about went inside to drop off her gear in the small hallway.

“Not so good as I hoped. The f-*censor bleep*-ing guards somehow found out I was borrowing that sh-*censor bleep*-ty warehouse...” she said and aimed for the sofa in the living room.

Her host chuckled and closed the door, throwing a quick look at her tool of weapon behind the disk jokey seat. “My guess is they had a hard time NOT hearing your beats. They must have made everypony nearby think it was an earthquake” he then chuckled again while walking towards the pony who just sat down in his sofa.

“Yeah, whatever...” she said right before landing on the comfortable support. “By the way, where the f-*censor bleep*-k is everypony?” she asked and looked around in the neatly furnished apartment, noticing how empty it was aside from her and him.

“They aren't coming, Rain Water was having some house party a couple of blocks downtown, they wanted me to send their regards and say they're sorry they couldn't go to your party. By the way, what's up with those bleeps?”

“I dunno. It's been stalking me the entire b-*censor bleep*-y day.... wait, I can't even say b-*censor bleep*-y? What the sh-*censor bleep*-t?” she held up her fore hooves in confusion.

“Maybe if you stopped swearing so much and started using buck instead of...”.

“Hold on, let me try something! Motherf-*censor bleep* *censor bleep* *censor bleep* *censor bleep* *censor bleeeeeeeeeep*-uckers!”.

“Okay, okay, I get it! Just... seriously, start using buck instead and stick to that as your main swear word, okay? It's really annoying to hear those d-*censor bleep*-n... aw sh-*censor bleep*...”.

“Oh Celestia... it's a pandemic! This is raccoon city all over again, man!!” the mare exclaimed in panic. “Ugh, knock it off! Just start using buck!” the stallion repeated and went for the refrigerator in the other room.

“Whatever, I was just pulling your hindleg, Sunny” she stated and fell limp back into the sofa with her forelegs crossed behind her neck. Soon the male came back with two soda cans, threw one to the visitor and sat down in the sofa next to her. As they both opened their drinks, the stallion known as Sunny Days remembered something rather important to tell.

“Oh right, by the way. I fixed your next gig...” he said casually and sipped from the can. The mare widened her eyes and looked at the stallion, seeming shocked and excited.

“Really? The one in Ponyville? Oh my gosh, is it the one in Ponyville?!” she asked repeatedly to ensure if it was true. “Yup! In two weeks it's off in your home town” she received as answer from him.

The mare bit her lower lip and suddenly leaned closer towards her company. “Somepony is getting laid tonight, I heard” she said seductively with bedroom eyes at the suddenly very much appreciated male. That until he opened his mouth again.

“I'd wait with opening the box of condoms until you hear this too. There's a little problem with that play: somepony else has booked it too” he said casually like he didn't care even the slightest about what the mare just said, keeping his eyes straight forward.

“Wait, what?” she leaned back, a little more disappointed now. “Already booked? What do you mean?”.

Sunny sighed. “What I'm trying to say is that I booked it first, paid and everything. But apparently somepony with enough influence managed to get the only scene in Ponyville included in a contract or something at the exact same date, meaning whoever gets there first is the rightful temporary owner.... I suppose”.

A relaxed sigh left the mare's mouth as she turned back to her soda again and sipped it.

“Phew, why didn't you just say so? Then I'll just bang the responsible one. Who is it by the way?” she asked. And it was at that moment Sunny looked away and scratched his neck, knowing this wasn't going to be pretty... not pretty at all.

“I... forgot to mention there were TWO problems... not one. He he, sorry” he excused and smirked. His friend raised an eyebrow, not understanding where he was going with that. “What do you mean?” she thus asked.

“Have you ever heard of the band 'Mane Death'?”.

- - - -
The vocalist stallion leaned away from his manager in disgust, unable to understand why this was happening. Now he suddenly hated all of this even more. It had been enough with getting a double booked scene, but actually having to deal with THAT kind of ponies about whose scene it is? No, this just couldn't be happening.

“You gotta be kidding me, Golden” he said and shook his head in disapproval. But the mentioned mare shook her head too, for once not smiling at least. She knew how much trouble this meant too.

At that moment, two ponies in the city of Manehattan grabbed their head like they had a headache and tensed their eyelids, melting the fact that the ones they despised the most was involved in such a serious business like this. Both ponies slammed their hoof to the floor and yelled. However, the words they used were slightly different.

“Vinyl Scratch the rave DJ?!” the pony in west Manehattan said.

“Coal Silvermane the death metal vocalist?!” the pony in east Manehattan said.

Just at that moment, the door into the vocalist's room opened, letting out the bright yellow drummer of his band crawling on his knees.

“Call... ahahahaha... an... hahaha... a-ambulance... hahahaahahaha!! I can't... bucking... hahahahaha... breathe!!” he laughed with a choke and finally fainted.

To be continued...

Author's Note:
Why hello there, welcome to my new installment. For all of you who know me and my earlier works, allow me to say that this story is my first teen-friendly fiction published on the ponyfiction market. I wanted to label it for “everyone” but it would seem my perverted brain doesn't work that way. If I'm to write something that DOESN'T involve detailed sex, it has to at least contain a little adult joke every know and then. Thus the T-rating.

Anyhow, this is my first try at the genres of pure comedy and nothing dark, so some of you who follows me might be disappointed,but I had to try, mkay?

To cut it short: comment and tell me what you think of this, I'm more than happy to tell you anything you need to know (as long as I don't have to spoil, of course)

Brohoof on ya all!

The DJ who shagged me

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Previously: a famous death metal band named “Mane Death” is currently having troubles with a contract forcing them to play a concert in Ponyville. Meanwhile, a famous rave DJ known as Vinyl Scratch has been promised the exact same location at the exact same date. What makes this situation even worse is the fact that both of those musicians hate each others guts for some reason...


Part 2: The DJ who shagged me

“Whooo!! Ponyville, here we come! Mothers: hide your daughters! Daughters: hide your mil-”.

“Cut out with your darn coltcuddler references, Stricken! Nopony thinks they are funny anyways...”.

The light blue stallion looked away from the train's window and stared with a pout towards the band's vocalist sitting in one of the seats, Coal Silvermane. He didn't quite understand what he meant by that.

“That was not a coltcuddler reference, it's from how I met yo-”.

“Neil Patrick Hayrris said it, that makes it coltcuddler, now get away from that window; you look like a foalfiddler staring into a daycare...” Coal stated and glanced at his other band members chuckling to the comparison.

“Oh, ha... ha! I can really hear the background laughter right now. By the way, what's up with you?” he asked and sat down in his seat behind the others. “Yeah, you've been so angry ever since yesterday. You just walked past us all when we had our beer-sweeping contest. You love when Wide Beat and Cord Screech humiliates themselves by throwing up after just fifteen gulps without room for breathing...” the bass player Deep Bass agreed which caused the others to nod.

The steel gray equine sighed in annoyance and crossed his hindlegs, throwing a new glance at the stallions around him. “It's bad enough we are going to this stupid play when we're not even on a tour, and it really pisses me off the place we're gonna do it at is double booked... but what really grinds my gears like a cog stuck deep up my rectum without any oil...”.

The band members grimaced in disgust to that comparison.

“... is the fact the one who caused this double booking is nopony else than my biggest hate object:Vinyl Scratch!” he exclaimed which caused the others to widen their eyes.

“Vinyl Scratch? The rave DJ?”.

“The most famous DJ ever?”.

“The weird mare who schedules illegal gigs?”.

“The hottest piece of unicorn ever behind a mixing table?”.

Suddenly, everypony looked with curious faces at Stricken who curled together in defense. “What? She is not shabby, that's all...”.

Coal shook his head in a slowly developing irritation. “Yes, yes... that Vinyl Scratch. I know who the buck she is... and that's just it”.

The others nodded, fully agreeing to the mutual despise their leader felt towards this unicorn. None of them liked the sound of constant beats without any instruments being played by living ponies. However, Coal's feeling was more to the hate-kind.

For him, hardstyle was an insult to metal, techno a loser, dubbstep to be considered illegal, and everypony who shuffled in public should be shot on sight. The others didn't quite agree to all of that, but at least they agreed it was no good music to their ears.

The vocalist stallion looked at his clothes, admiring the black trench coat witch small chains hanging over his steel gray chest. This was is absolute favorite cloth, something he wore even during hot summers, which it was right now. The others didn't wear anything, it was more their kind of style and also their trademark that only the singer carried cloths.

Just by looking at his friends and members, Coal could already feel his smile returning.

“But don't worry, guys. We'll show her nopony steals Mane Death's show. And especially not Vinyl Scratch!” he stated with the smile he just found, instantly receiving a bunch of cheers from the others and a brohoof from Wide Beat who sat next to him.

- - - -
A couple of coupes back, another pony with the same kind of mood like the stallion up ahead mumbled her anger while leaning over the small table between her and the others she had brought with her to this trip.

“I just can't believe it...” she said clearly and pushed up her thick shades. “... who do they think they are? Bruce Springstone? The beatless? Phe, they're just a bunch of losers without talents, that's what they are! Right, guys?”.

She asked the stallion and two other mares she was accompanied by. The orange male Sunny Days glanced at the two girls standing up in their seats behind him, leaning over the back of their seats to look at Vinyl. The one to the left was a light green pegasus with a bedraggled mane in the colors of beige, Rain Water. The other to the right was a dark pink unicorn with a more fluffy mane in the color of blonde, Lucky Catch.

“Uhm... Rain Water began, not agreeing to the fullest. “Well...” Lucky Catch failed to say the same, leaving Sunny Days the only pony knowing what to say.

“I think you're a little wrong, Vinyl” he stated calmly, arching the white unicorn's eyebrows in anger. “Say what?” she thus responded.

The stallion leaned back on his seat and sighed, shifting his eyes between the beauties looking down on him. “The band has actually made a name for themselves in their genre, and I don't think they've sold hundreds of thousands of records by sucking at it. As a matter of fact, I heard just few weeks ago they had released their eight album. And that these guys are getting bigger for each one, you know”.

“Yeah, and let's not forget they've been in the newspaper, radio and on TV”.

“Plus the singer's really hot. Hee hee!”.

Everypony in the little company turned to Lucky, looking sceptically at her.

“What? Come on, he is!”.

Then, everypony reluctantly agreed, all aside from Vinyl who felt more anger consuming her.

“Aw, for the love of.... guys, the vocalist is an idiot screaming and growling like he's trying to summon Discord from the depths of pony-hell or something. And they aren't playing the guitars, they are torturing them! What they do is not singing or making music, just noises sounding like someponys' being cremated slowly while being forced to listen on Rebecca Back's 'Monday'...” she ended with a sigh, ignoring the fact her friends chuckled.

“Well, so might be it. I agree with my personal opinion that they're sounding horrible and should be considered anything but music, but you can't say they are talentless after all their success”.



“But I...”.

“Hey Vinyl”.


“Shut up”.

The DJ unicorn finally gave up and crossed her forelegs, pressing herself into the seat while looking away from her friends chuckling even more. She felt an annoying ambiance of her being the only one having enemies around herself, even though she knew Sunny was just playing with her. The other girls kept looking at her with smiles, ensuring they still stood on her side to one hundred percent. Those fine lips gave Vinyl the strength she needed to trust them and smile back.

“You know...” she started with a shinny smile radiating friendliness and gratitude, quickly responded by the others full attention. Of course they expecting her to say something kind like...

“Screw you guys, I'm outta here” she said casually with the smile intact and walked away from her seat.

- - - -
In the restaurant section, The steel gray stallion had made his way from the band's secluded coupe, with the obligatory pilot glasses and his black mane knotted into a ponytail beneath the red and white head cap, to get what he felt was necessary: a cup of coffee. After a short fight through the scuffing and cramming with the other ponies, he had managed to pass through without any serious wounds aside from a temporary concussion and a possibly broken hindleg. Of course, this was ten times milder than trying to get the latest CD by Lady Lama in a small record store.

As he finally had reached the table with the coffeemaker, he went ahead by taking a cup and pouring it up with the large machine. Meanwhile, another pony had decided to take on the exact same opportunity as she saw the stallion in shades and cap getting his cup.

“Hey” the white unicorn mare said and got up next to him, taking her equally white cup and putting it in the machine. The stallion quickly glanced at the mare before turning back, only to perform the cliché when he instantly turns back to look at the fine thing next to him.

“Why hello there. You felt you needed some too?” he asked the total stranger who chuckled before answering.

“Ugh, yeah. Those idiots who are supposed to be my friends aren't really...” she failed to find the word and waved a fore hoof to see if it helped.

“Friendly?” the stallion with the knotted, pitch-black mane tried to help.

“Haha... yeah, but they mean well...”.

“Friends usually do that. Otherwise, how the buck are you supposed to call them friends?”.

“You got that right!” the mare said giddily and pressed the button to the machine. An annoying click signaled to her the machine was empty and needed a refill, much to her greatest displeasing. “Aw, come... ON!” she exclaimed before looking as the male next to her with the cup in his hoof. He grimaced to agree what bad luck the mare just had, but at the same time felt like a real master-thief like Catman or a dark hero like Batwoman, striking a mental pose over how nasty he was while rolling his eyes in real life. After all, he WAS wearing a disguise...

She curled her lips a little up and a little down, not knowing if to be so cheap and ask or not. In the end, she felt the need for caffeine taking her well-being as hostage with a gun.

“I'm sorry, but could you...”.

“Tell you how the hay I'm holding a cup around the ear with a hoof?”.

“No... er, if I...”.

The stallion laughed heartily and shook his head with pleasure. “Just messing with you. Here ya go, miss” he then said and hoofed over the filled cup to the slightly gladder unicorn.

“Oh my, what a gentlecolt... hee hee, a humorous one too” she stated after realizing how many laws of physics she broke by holding the cup with a hoof, encouraging them both to chuckle. Just a short moment after that, the mare decided to take a good look at the stallion before her, unknowingly receiving the same kind of scan from him too. Their units of measurements and areas of interests were a little different, but they both had one thought in common:

Dat flank!

Soon the stallion heard the steps of need to talk approaching him. ”Nice to meet a mare without the stuck-up attitude, miss...?” he fished for the name.

The female equine cocked an eyebrow while smiling sinisterly, already showing her colors when seeing somepony with the looks and personality. “How 'bout we keep it a secret for the moment? It's more fun that way, don't ya think?”.

As the flirty wink escaped the mare's eyelashes, the stallion simply had to push down his black tinted shades to meet the mare's eyes, raising an eyebrow together with his smile to show he caught the gesture. “I see... you seem to know what you want, if I'm not mistaken?”.

The mare felt appealed with this stallion's odd character. He was dressed and looked like somepony who didn't care, but at the same time treated her with respect like an upper-class pony. She liked that, just like the coffee in her hoof.

“Wanna make me company back to my seat?” she said to throw out the bait, putting a reasonable amount of hope he'd bite it. “As tempting that offer is, I have to go back to my own morons before they wonder where the hay I am. And they wouldn't leave you alone, trust me” he ruined her hopes by saying. However, when he scratched his neck and chuckled to that, the mare wasn't completely disappointed.

“Hehe, yeah, that's friends for ya. But hey, can I have your number at least? Perhaps we could get to know each other a little more?”.

The stallion smiled, feeling quite appealed enough to actually let go of such valuable information...

- - - -
Back in the private section, the band members glanced away to see their friend coming back, taking of his cap and loosing the mane before flipping of the shades.

“You have returned!” the light blue unicorn stated with a serious tone like the male sitting down just had ventured through a life-threatening journey, quickly replied by getting the red and white cap put on his head.

“Yes, but my goal was sacrificed to sate the needs of a young dame” Coal said dramatically which lit up a flame of curiosity among the stallions.

“Oh, such noble deed, young Coal!” the bright yellow drummer Wide Beat joined while gesticulating some sort of faint with his hooves. “Who was this fine lady you spared the lack of caffeine and strong taste?”.

“Okay, buck this, it's getting weird...” the steel gray vocalist stated to the others great amusement and short burst of laughter. “Nah, but seriously, I got the last cup of coffee which she also wanted, so I just gave it to her and she appreciated it. End of story”.

“Really?” Deep Bass asked and leaned a little forward from his seat next to Wide Beat. “Good looking one?”.

“Sure. Unicorn with a white coat and a ravaged, blue mane. Heh, she even flirted with me, the poor thing” Coal shrugged before his chuckle.

The others froze with wide eyes, staring at their vocalist like he just had killed a dozen of newborn kittens. Some of them glanced at each other while the rest tried to hold themselves from breaking into laughter once again. Coal noticed this and looked at them with a question mark.

“What? You gotta problem with.... oh my Luna, she's a known activist for for independent feminism group and is going to sue me for sexual harassment even though I haven't done anything just because she can, isn't she?!” the stallion grimaced in fear and pressed himself back into his seat.

“No, no... pff... n-nothing at all.... it's nothing, w-we swear...” Stricken stated and looked away before he almost burst.

Coal looked at his friends without understanding a thing, soon deciding to ignore them and put on his trench coat again.

“Aw geez, I gotta go to the can... it's probably gonna take a while so knock on the door when we are at the right station” Deep Bass stated and walked out from the coupe, getting a few insistent nods and mumbles from the others.

“Don't play with yourself for too long!” Stricken called out, getting a kick on the fetlock from Cord Screech afterward.

- - - -
In Vinyl's part of the train, crowded with a few other random passengers minding their own business, the three ponies brought from Manehattan stared in confusion at their friend.

“Uhh.... steel gray coat and black pitch-black mane, dressed in a cap and big shades” Sunny stated.

“And his cutie mark was a vibrating microphone?” Rain Water added.

“Yeah, you know him? He gotta be a musician... and he was really cool too. I wanted to introduce you to him, but he said he had to go back” Vinyl explained with a trace of pride over her catch.

Sadly, she didn't notice the others expressions until they all looked at her with curious expressions.

“What? Problem with me hitting on strangers?” she asked.

“No.... heh... nothing at all...” Lucky giggled together with her pegasus friend. Sunny just grinned, managing to hold his mask as the eruptions of laughter cooled down in his mind.

“What, you think I failed to shag him? I'll let you know...” she grinned cockily and flipped up a paper note from nowhere, disobeying the laws of physics like everypony else since she had no pockets. “... that I got his phone number!” she waved with the small paper.

The humor-pressure overloaded like a filled blather, knocking out all three friends of Vinyl into a severe case of rolling on the floor, laughing out loud.

Vinyl snorted and put away the note, not allowing her company to take away her pride over the trophy...

- - - -
After another twenty minutes of traveling, the train had finally stopped at Ponyville station, allowing the boarding ponies to get off and stretch their legs. The quiet but still lively town revealed itself to the band as they stepped out one after another.

“Heh, pretty little town, don't ya think so, guys?” Coal, who was dressed out again, asked his friends who didn't pay much attention, instead dedicating the small time of break to look around and crack their necks. The vocalist shook his head and took another step away from the train to see if that certain mare he had met before was visible, unaware that she already had been the first one to get off and gallop away with her friends to another friend of her.

“Oh, well. You got everything with you?” the stallion tried to catch his friends' interest and adjusted his shades.

“Everything right here!” Wide Beat answered and picked up the the 24-pack of beer in a plastic bag with his mouth.

“Right here!” Cord Screech followed and held up a 24-pack too.

“Me too!” Stricken came directly after with yet another 24-pack hanging in his mouth.

Coal sighed at them all. “I was talking about your instruments....” he said right before putting on a confused stare. “... wait, where the buck did you get those from?”.

“Minibar!” they all answered in unison and smiled, not making any sense to their friend. “Minibar? On a train?” he thus asked, receiving three rapid nods from the others. He gave up to try understand and turned around.

“Whatever, as long as you got all your stuff with you...” he ended and began walking away with the others. “Because you do, right? We didn't forget anything?” he asked to the others who shook their heads without minding the bags they held.

As they continued on, the megaphones called out the train's departure, signaling for it to leave the station. Inside the train, inside the toilet of the band's private coupe, the purple stallion with a short cut dark red mane burst out after hearing the loud announcement. Too late he realized the doors were closed and wouldn't budge, forcing him to run up to a window and scream.

“Hey guys!! Guys!! Over here! I didn't get off the train!! Guys!!!

And as the train finally moved forward in a slowly growing speed, the bass player realized it was too late.


“Excuse me sir, would you like a cocktail?”.

“NO, I ONLY...”.

In an instant, the stallion turned around from the glass and noticed the female conductor in the barely legal age dressed in a red miniskirt and a tight top, smiling innocently with her glimmering, innocent eyes and blushing like a schoolfilly.

“... want to know if that cocktail comes with you on my lap?”.

To be continued...

Author's Note:
Being used to type about 9.000 words per chapter makes this a little challenging for me since it's only one third of it. Huh, perhaps that's why it's so exciting writing this story! Anyways, I hope this story is at least a little appealing to you guys. So far I'm fearing I'll bore you all with my crappy references and hard-to-interpret jokes. Just got one tip for ya, don't take this seriously unless it's being heavily developed in the story.

I'll just see what you guys think, but remember that IF you somehow like this story, it's a one of a kind in my collection of stories...

Brohoof on ya all!

I remembered to forget to remember

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Previously: since both Vinyl the DJ and the band Mane Death have the same scene, their arrival to Ponyville has turned out to be a race about who can get there first. And since neither Vinyl or Coal the vocalist know how the other one looks like, the friends of those two finds much fun in the fact that they have met as strangers, unaware they actually despise each other. Right when both teams arrive to the little town, the metal band soon finds out about a gruesome miss they've made...


Part 3: I remembered to forget to remember

Inside a horse-drawn carriage leading into a hotel in the northern part of Ponyville, Coal sat with his muzzle buried deep in his fore hooves. He suffered a fact none in the band wanted to know of, something you couldn't laugh at, nor compensate or even console with seventy-two cans of beer which the band had brought with them in the silent carriage.

“Tell me.... guys...” the steel gray stallion asked without removing his face from the hard hooves. “How... in the bleeding hay... are we going to explain this... to our manager?”.

The other members looked at each other, nervous and actually a bit scared over seeing Coal this frustrated. Everypony aside from Stricken, that was.

“You mean how we forgot Deep Bass on the train?”.

Coal twitched his eye in rage so much he wished he had trained his eye muscles some more.

“Yes!! And it's all because of you!!” he screamed at the unicorn guitarist.

“What?! How's this 'my' fault?” he answered in shock.

“You bet your darned flank it's your fault!! If you just could keep your frigging coltcuddler jokes to yourself and not throw them at Cord all the time, we would have remembered to tell Bass we were supposed to get off!”.

The light blue unicorn sighed and rolled his eyes. “Aw come on, are you seriously going to...” he had time to say until the recently mentioned Cord Screech threw his fore hooves around Stricken's neck.

“It IS your fault, you bucking pervert! And don't you dare think I've forgotten when you compared me with Kate Pear!!” he yelled and squeezed his hooves tighter around Stricken's flesh, strangling him without remorse.

“If we bring a sacrifice to the manager she might spare us! Kill him!!” Coal yelled and pounced Stricken to beat him up. With four hooves violently abusing the poor unicorn, he had no choice but to fall down on the floor while Wide Beat joined just because he thought it looked like fun, punching him senseless in the stomach.

A violent shaking broke out, very much visible to anypony outside passing by. The only thing more noticeable was the screaming.

“Come on, guys, not so hard!”.

“Shut up, you've taken harder things before!!”.

“Yeah, but I can't take all three of you at the same time! It actually hurts!”.

“Doesn't matter, we're just gonna keep pounding you anyway until you faint!”.

“Oh, I like the sound of that!”.

And the carriage went on, screaming and shaking angrier while leaving wide and confused eyes behind it...

- - - -
Inside the local mayor's office, a mare known for her dedication and compassion to this fine little city leaned back on her swivel chair, enjoying the soft creaks it made.

“I don't care if there will be an economic situation with this, or at least not right now. All I want to hear is if we can solve it at all, giving the circumstances...” the beige-brown mare stated from her table to the young stallion standing on the other side.

The male equine adjusted his reading glasses and pushed around the papers on his temporary side of the desk. His coat was of the indigo kind while his unfitting mane stayed within the goldenrod area. However, his competence was way within the necessary area, just like the striped tie around his neck.

“Well, it IS a slightly complicated business... but I'm sure we can pull some strings using our current status as a low-priority target if a war would break out” the stallion explained with a self-confident smile”.

“Can that be done?” Mayor Mare asked which brought a full-fledged grin on the stallion's lips.

“Well, Amareica has a Zebra as president now, so why not? Hehehe....” he chuckled and stacked his papers which he had brought just to enhance the effect of professionalism to this scene. Mayor Mare finally smiled back and leaned forward over her desk.

“As old as your subtle half-jokes about Amareica's fear of Zebras are, there's nothing wrong with your cunning abilities in the business branch...” the earth pony mare said with a clear source of satisfaction. “Your marefriend must be really proud of your success, mister Sum Total....”.

Without discovering the even more subtle way Mayor used to find out personal information, the fine male tilted his head back a little. “Oh no, I don't... have a marefriend. I dedicate all my time to the job. I don't have time for any relationship”.

For some reason, the stallion suddenly heard the theme music from the movie Jaws inside his head...

“Rrrreally?” the mare with a sudden set of bedroom eyes tried to confirm, leaning even more over her small desk to get closer to her company. Sum felt the nervousness arriving to his mind by that prolonged word.

“Uhm... y-yes...?”.

“Spending all that time with those papers must have forced you to repress the... other urges... everypony has. Hmm?”.

In an instant, Mayor Mare used the moment of opportunity when the stallion couldn't focus, snatching his tie like a cobra with her fore hoof and pulling him closer to her face.

“I'd say it must be frustrating to go for so long without the pleasant company of a healthy, fine mare …. to, you know... sate those urges” she whispered seductively, unnerving the poor thing in her grasp further.

“Please, miss Mayor... I... I don't...” he resisted and pressed his fore hooves to the desk without any prevail to increase the distance between his lips and hers.

“You've stepped right into my hunting grounds, do you really think the cougar lets her prey go then?”.

The theme music played louder in Sum's head, snapping in tone after tone as the forward mare pulled him in closer and closer, until...

“Auntie Maaaarguerite!!” the young unicorn mare roared with a tune from the office door after slamming it up with wide-open forelegs. The mature mare widened her eyes in fear and let go of her victim, allowing him to fall back and slam his head on the wooden floor in a yelp.

“Oh hi, Vinyl!” Mayor Mare welcomed happily, smiling widely to hide what just happened here. In that moment, the unicorn stood still like her friends did behind her and looked at the downed male.

“Uh... is he alright?” she asked, still standing on her hindlegs.

The elder mare got up from her chair and quickly trotted to her new visitor, grinning nervously. “Why of course he is, dear! He was just surprised like me!”

“But why isn't he moving?”.

“Ugh, the silly thing is just lazy! Don't mi-”.

“Is that blood coming from his...”.

“Let's talk outside, shall we?!” Mayor asked desperately and pushed out the invading ponies right before closing the door after her...

- - - -
“You WHAT?!” the dark brown mare with the hundreds of golden blonde curls exclaimed as she rose from her desk and slammed down her fore hooves to the hard wood. The remaining members of the known band jumped in fright from their chairs surrounding the desk, knowing there was no escape from this small hotel room that was their manager's temporary office.

The stallions glanced at each other, avoiding the angry stare from the even angrier mare. Coal, however, found the courage to repeat what he just said.

“We... forgot... Deep Bass on... the train”.

“How the bloody Discord could you forget one of your friends on the train?! Isn't he worth more than that to you? Let me tell you one thing: he sure is worth more to me!!” she continued her rampage.

“Uuh, if it's of any consolation, we reached him on his cellphone...” the vocalist said, directly getting the attention from his furious manager. Coal looked dreamily in the upper corner of his eyes, wondering how he was doing right now.

“... and that was when the rumors spread I gave #3 Chris a blowjob... of course it's not true, but still...” Deep Bass said to the giggling mare sitting on his lap while he held a cocktail glass in his other fore hoof..

“Wow, that is amazing... and funny at the same time, heeheehee!” she asked in amusement with the voice worthy a teenager.

“Indeed, beautiful. By the way, what's your name?” he asked right before emptying his glass.

“Sex...” she said first, causing Deep Bass to choke on his drink and cough lightly. “... on the beach. My father is a bartender, so he named me after his favorite drink: Sex on the beach!” she stated without forgetting her cute giggle afterward.

The purple male chuckled in delight when his untimely coughing stopped, giving him time to scan the young thing, loving her miniskirt and tight top even more. “Hehehe... but I suppose you're... a little more innocent than your name is, huh?”.

“Yeah... I prefer having sex on trains. Beaches are so public”.

Suddenly, Deep Bass crushed his glass in silence....

“Naughty little thing...” Coal said to himself while dreaming without minding the other ponies looking at him curiously. Soon he glanced at them all, breaking his moment of fantasizing by shaking his head. “Anyways, he said he would take the first train straight back on the next station”.

Golden Brochure sighed even though her eyes still were burning with hatred. “Ugh, he better get back asap, you guys can't perform without a bass player. We can't replace him, and I suppose we're lucky we didn't lose the guitarists or the drummer too...”.

“Or your vocalist” Coal thought he ended to not feel secluded from the necessary-list.

Sadly, the mare connected all sources of hatred inside her body, starting a fire from nowhere in the background as she stomped over to stand in front of the steel gray stallion, screaming out her anger.

“You really think so?! You really think you're worth the tiniest buck to this band, you worthless piece of maggot vomit!! There are thousands, no millions of ponies who can actually sing! All you can do is produce some incoherent, growling noises sounding like a wolf getting castrated with a blunt knife!!!”.

The roaring became like a industrial fan to the exposed male, forcing him to shut up while the others fell off their chairs and ran into the hotel room door to hide from the blazes. The exploding mare pressed her fore hooves to his shoulders and got closer with her muzzle to stare with bloodthirsty eyes into his soul.

“If we can't make this concert, we'll be sued by the contract holder which will be the end of this band!! The others have a future as musicians, but you, you filthy little puppy is nothing but a born loser without any talent aside from making a foal of yourself!! Without me, you would be nothing, nothing I'm telling you! So you just zip your disgusting mouth and do as I say! If I tell you to breath, you will breath! If I tell you to stop, you will hold your breath till you die! Yes, you will dance at my command, DANCE LIKE THE PUPPET YOU ARE, CONNECTED TO MY STRINGS!!!”.

As the raging fires slowly died out in the background, the mare panted while letting her crazed maniacal grimace remain just a few inches from the male's. He didn't move a muscle, keeping the relaxed and indifferent expression on his face.

“Feel any better?”.

“Oh, Celestia, yes....” Golden sighed and relaxed her facial muscles while resting her head over his shoulder. “Thank you for letting me break loose there, Coal. You're a good stallion, so good that I... sometimes wish I wasn't your manager... so I could... date you...” she stated with a growing smile.

“You don't say...” the vocalist said ironically, ignoring the fact that the mare who currently panted into his ear was sitting on his lap with spread hindlegs while her forelegs were wrapped around his waist, all warm and sweaty...

- - - -
“The same scene, you say...?” Mayor Mare said to herself as she and the others walked down the stairs to the main level of Ponyville hall, reaching the big room where everypony gathered for information and events. However, right now it was rather empty.

“Yeah” Vinyl continued. “My friend Sunny...”.

“Sup” he quickly added.

“... booked the scene a week ago, but apparently somepony managed to write a contract for another band to play there at the same date! How's this happening, Marguerite?”.

“Well, first of all: ponies here call me Mayor Mare, not by me real name, so I'd prefer if you did the same...”.

“What, we're related. Can't I call you Marguerite anymore?” Vinyl asked her aunt.

“I just respond better to Mayor Mare” Marguerite told her niece.

The younger mare shook her head in annoyance while the others behind her remained silent, letting her do the talk. Soon they had reached halfway through the main level's floor.

“Okay, whatever... can you just check up if they can do that?” Vinyl finally asked, which caused the beige mare to halt and turn on her honest and straight-forward voice.

“Vinyl, dear. Just because you're my niece doesn't mean I, as a mayor, can automatically give you sole right to anything here in Ponyville. If the one you're talking about has a written contract and also already paid for the scene, I'm afraid you have to talk to them about it. I can't help you...”.

Even though the mayor thought she had ended the discussion, Vinyl smirked at her aunt. She knew how this mare worked...

“Did I mention the band are a bunch of young, handsome stallions?” she said which attracted all attention from the elder pony.


“And then we're talking guys who are used to... “ she paused and inhaled, combing back her mane to add that sexy touch in her voice. “... get all warmed up while tensing their muscles to play. Wild and young, perspiring their suppressed needs while playing. Poor things are all probably single too just to be available for their female audience” she went on casually like she almost got turned on herself by saying all that.

The mare also known as Marguerite staid silent for another few seconds, giving Vinyl's friends a moment to interpret the tactic with wondering faces.

“Very well, take me to them... I mean, the contract holder! And I'll... er, see w-what I can do” she stated with a snort in the end after her light stuttering, and kept walking to the exit. Her whole facade was much to Vinyl's appreciation and not to mention her entertainment. The others just jeered silently when they understood where the mature pony's interest rested.

The ponies walked out the main door, off to the place the mayor knew all touring bands and salesponies rested their legs. Well, you didn't have to be the mayor to know that, there was only one hotel in the entire town...

- - - -
“As long as the band is unable to play, Vinyl Scratch has the upper hoof in this. But no matter what, we have to negotiate a deal with her; we must have that scene or we're done for!”.

Golden Brochure sounded very serious while she locked the door to her hotel room. The band members looked down casually in the hallway filled with doors and soon followed their manager as she started walking down it. While they all got out from the medium-sized hotel and entered the calm streets, the dark green unicorn guitarist furrowed his eyebrows.

“Hey, Golden...” he caught the mare's attention by saying, together with the other from his crew. “... I'm just wondering... who, exactly, did you sign this contract with? Shouldn't we talk to him... or her... about this whole situation?”.

Like lightning just struck before them, Coal, Stricken, Wide and Cord stopped little by little and finally stood still with the mare they followed showing her back to them. The vocalist furrowed his eyebrows while shifting his eyes between the male unicorn and the female earth pony, creating a serious ambiance to block out all ridiculous events from this.

“You know what... that was a really good question he came up with there. I usually don't care who we're playing for or where since that's your job. But for once.... I'm really curious. Who did you sign the contract with, miss manager?”.

When Golden heard him use that specific name, she understood he wasn't in the mood for any bad jokes or even the breath of an excuse for why she shouldn't need to explain. And those serious eyes staring at her from the stallions, making her feel weak and defenseless, were fully ready to stop following her if she didn't come up with the fitting answer to the question. Her powers only reached so far. With little to no resistance, the mare sighed in defeat and glanced back over her shoulder.

“I... don't know...”.

To be continued...

Author's Note:
And that was the third part of my little experiment. As you can see, you've been provided with three samples of it, and the kind of humor and numbers of words are approximately how it's going to be... with a continuous plot-development, of course ^^'

Allow me to remind you that some of the humor in this is inspired by the same kind you can see in your typical manga. My point is you shouldn't take it literally serious if any character for example says “kill him” or anything like that, it's just part of the “fun”.... or... well... look, I'm trying, okay? I'm just pointing it out since people have this tendency to take things WAY too serious....

Now it's going to be very simple, guys. Do you like what you see and want more, or will you slap me in the face and tell me to go back writing erotic stories? One thing is for sure, I'll keep writing. But I need your opinions in order to keep going and without you guys.... well, I'm nothing.

Brohoof on ya all!

When metal lies in ashes, you have my permission to rave

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Previously: the band Mane Death and Vinyl Scratch have arrived to Ponyville and are preparing to face each other off in a negotiation about the town's scene. However, the band is having a disadvantage since their bass player is still stuck on the train, and Vinyl proves to be related with the towns own Mayor Mare, also know as Marguerite, improving her odds...

Part 4: when metal lies in ashes, you have my permission to rave

“What do you mean you 'don't know', Golden?” Coal asked and took a step closer to the unnerved dark brown mare.

“Probably that she doesn't know...”.

“Shut up, Stricken!”.

Golden Brochure sighed and glanced at all sides like she felt observed, noticing it was just her insecurity taking over in front of these annoyed stallions. There was really nothing she could hide now, so spilling the truth shouldn't really be that bad.

“No, I don't know. It... well, it all started one month ago...”.

“Yeah, I bet it did!”.

“Shut up, Stricken!!”.

Golden Brochure walked into her office, tired after today's rehearsal with her band and more than ready to just sweep down that after-five-shot before going home. As she walked up to her desk and picked up the bottle of Everfree Dandelion from one of the drawers, she accidentally landed her eyes on a piece of paper resting ever so gently on her desk. The tiny shot glass was poured up to the brim and softly brought into her left hoof while the right one grabbed the paper covered in ink.

It was a clear contract about a live play for a charity group, something about saving the timber wolfs. Her head ached when she thought about looking up the contract holder and ask about the details and how the hay it got inside her locked office. Too much work and not enough play, so she simply tried to add up everything by re-reading the paper. After a moment of gritting teeth and furrowed eyebrows, the mare finally realized it would be a pretty easy gig and all she had to do was sign the paper before sending it away in a special envelope the contract had been sent with as an attachment. The lines written in italic was probably just the contract holder's name, which was way too hard for her to read right now.

Done and done, she signed it and fixed the envelope before taking it with here to return to sender. That was after pouring down her third shot...

“... and that's what happened...” Golden said to end her story in a sad frown.

The stallions raised an eyebrow and stared in confusion at the mare who thought she had made herself clear. That until Coal tilted his head sideways and kept a skeptical look at his manager.

“Golden... you've been standing there silent for ten seconds, then said 'and that's what happened'. We have no idea what you just imagined in your head...”.

The mare facehoofed...

- - - -
Meanwhile, Mayor Mare could be seen walking on the streets of Ponyville, accompanied by three other mares and a stallion. It wasn't really supposed to be a silent walk since one of those mares was the mayor's beloved niece, Vinyl Scratch. Sadly, nopony outside the chatting radius knew what these two talked about.

“... and then he asked if I was 'going to keep the change'! Ahahahaha!!” the white unicorn laughed hysterically together with her aunt who also found much humor in her story. “Ahahaha! S-seriously? He thought you would do that on your first encounter? Haha!” the mature pony responded.

Sunny Days, Rain Water and Lucky Catch all three walked side-to-side a few hooves away from the relatives, slowly changing their grimaces to disgust after what they heard.

“Yeah! Hehe... he even though I'd go all the way too, silly thing. I mean... it was ridiculous! I couldn't fit all that in my mouth!” Vinyl seized the laughter and stated mater-of-factually.

“Oh my, certainly not! It's bad enough as it is... and with so much cream as you described, how are you even supposed to swallow?” Mayor Mare agreed.

Sunny felt a retch in his stomach.

“Well, it wasn't really that stiff. But I just told him that if I am supposed to finish him, I would need some help. So I was going to ask Rain Water...”.

The mentioned pegasus gasped with a blush.

“... but nooo, he wanted to see me take it on all by myself. So sure... I shoved the whole thing in my mouth! And he looked so darn pleased, practically moaning just by seeing me gag due to the size”.

Lucky Catch dropped her jaw and jeered silently.

“Phe! Tell me about it, colts love to see us work to the bone just for their satisfaction, doesn't matter what it is, especially not sex” the mayor agreed further.

It was at that moment the three friends hesitated if to interrupt them or not, knowing for sure this was going to get a lot dirtier. They could clearly see those two were related, giving their obviously common interest for se-.

“Anyhow, I managed to eat the whole banana split in a few seconds, including the chocolate, whip cream and ice too...”.

As Vinyl said that, the three in the back row cocked an eyebrow and then chuckled at themselves for believing their friend would talk so openly about dirty things with her aun-.

“... and then I gave him a blowjob as payment for it”.

“Aw, for the love of...!!!” Sunny exclaimed and trotted up to the two mares glancing back at him, sticking his head between them. “Sooo.... Mayor Mare? Exactly HOW do you plan on helping Vinyl with this?”.

His question was a try to get away from hearing this shameless talking about sexual activities between a mare and another... definitely elder mare. His attempt was not in vain since the beige brown equine understood without catching any hints what he wanted.

“Oh, that won't be a problem. I, Mayor Mare, know all my ways around business and persuasion. There are few ponies who even can compare themselves with my silver-tongue”.

“Not only the one made out of silver, eh? Eh? “ Vinyl hinted to her aunt.

“Yes. There's a reason why all my competitors in every election always finally decides to give their vote to me.... hehehe...” the mayor winked back while licking her lips, driving Sunny into defeat and forcing him back in total embarrassment to the younger mares who kept their distance.

Vinyl nodded to her aunt, trusting she would have what it takes to convince a band of growling idiots to back off from her stage. This was her win, and they would suffer defeat... especially that vocalist. The grin failed to hide from the white lips, revealing itself for the others to interpret as mischievousness... or a possible turn-on to her recent subject of discussion.

Soon they all could see a little group of stallions standing in front of a dark brown mare. Vinyl arched her eyebrows and observed the scene, noticing right quick the female looked undoubtedly frightened by the presence of the four males. The mayor and the other friends saw it too, joining Vinyl in her anticipation that something nasty was about to play out.

“Oh, snap. Those stallions are probably going to rape that young mare...”.

“In the open street? I doubt that...” Rain Water argued, still not feeling alright with what she saw. However, Vinyl didn't plan on waiting and then asking. No, action was her middle name...

- - - -
“You know what, Golden? During all these years you've been our manager, I don't think you've ever screwed up as hard as you've done now...”.

The other band members nodded without losing their angry stare at the dark brown mare, keeping their eyebrows arched and appearance unwelcoming to show their disappointment, unaware some ponies looked at them.

“You know what?” the steel gray vocalist said to the already saddened mare. “I feel my throat is getting a little dry, and we forgot the beer in our room. So I'll just go find a bar to get a drink while you keep my friends company...” Coal stated and turned away, walking towards a bar he had seen on his way to the hotel. But before he left, he remembered to take on his white and red cap together with the pitch-black shades. The ponytail would have to wait until he reached the bar...

As the sound of his hooves disappeared, the remaining three stallions turned their muzzles to the only female in their company, still looking angry.

“This isn't the first time you buck things up, Golden... one day it might HURT YOUr name aside from ours...” Cord stated after an exhausted sigh.

“Yeah, misses like this are really RAPING our carrier!” Stricken exaggerated to prove his point.

“Misinterpreting sentence sounding like we are about to assault you...” Wide Beat ended casually.

Golden Brochure gave each one a concerned look until she finally landed on the drummer. It was at that moment she could behold the hooves of swift justice flying towards her... or to be more precise, towards Wide Beat.

“HG-NYAAAAH!!” the crazed, white mare imitating Cruise Bree shouted zero point three seconds before planting her hind hoof into the bright yellow male's yellow green mane, sending a shockwave of brutal pain for him to enjoy while hitting the ground a meter away from where he stood.

The two unicorns Cord and Stricken jumped in fright and locked their eyes on the sudden female balancing on one hindleg while keeping the most curious pose worthy the name of a martial art. Like a hawk with a sniper, she snapped her eyes to the remaining standing stallions, glaring right the moment she decided to fling away her hanging hindleg.

In a merciless assault, fast punches and kicks blew in each direction so fast they caused holes in the air, rippling out physical force which combusted into strong vibrations as hard hooves met soft flesh and thick skulls. A symphony of cracking bones and painful screams, growing like the first sunflower of spring, a monument to all sins born when blood separated from nose and mouth, spreading harder than ice breaking free from its colossal might worthy the female strength pulsing out into the bodies of innocent ponies....

What I'm trying to say is that she totally beat the crap out of them. Fem fatal style.

As the last stallion fell to the ground with a grade-A concussion, Golden Brochure remained still while looking at the massacre in front of her, and that unicorn brushing her shoulder with a smile on her lips.

“No worries, sister, I'm always there to help. If you ever find yourself in trouble again, just call me. Kay thanks bye!” the unicorn mare said casually and adjusted her purple shades before walking back to her friends, ignoring the faint gasps and grunts from the fallen ponies she just violated.

“Uhh.. you guys okay?” Golden asked when her shock cooled down a little, receiving nothing but painful grimaces from the wounded and humiliated stallions.

Mayor Mare and the others carried neutral faces as Vinyl came back with a very pleased grin on her lips. And as much as they wanted to point it out, the fact that she just took something for granted and caught the law in her own hooves was way too random for them to even reason about it.

“Wow... nothing like kicking flank in the afternoon to get my thirst going. I'll just go a for a drink, guys. Be right back...” Vinyl stated and turned her body one hundred-eighty degrees, to the bar she was more than mature enough to enter, still smiling with satisfaction while humming a tune.

The Mayor glanced at the other mares and stallion without any sign of amusement, on the contrary.

“She still gets those impulsive urges to attack ponies?” Mayor asked.

“When she feel enthusiastic and sometimes after getting laid.... yes” Sunny answered equally unamused.

- - - -
The glass of jagermarester landed carefully on the counter of the bar from the steel gray hoof.

“Excuse me?” he asked and looked at the earth pony standing before him.

“I said: we don't like coltcuddlers around here, orange-colt!”.

The stallion sitting on his bar stool kept an indifferent facial expression towards his bruiser company. “What makes you think I'm a coltcuddler?”.

“Because the eighties called; they want their coltcuddler mane back! Ahahahahaa!!” he laughed mockingly, causing his lungs to enhance his already muscular chest in each inhale. Two others behind him looking pretty much the same agreed by laughing too. The ambiance in the bar quickly grew into something uncomfortable, bringing bad feelings to all the ponies inside who heard this brewing fight.

The lone and sitting stallion didn't say nor did anything, aside from smirking a little...

As the white unicorn approached the door to her bar, she inhaled deeply to intoxicate herself from the oozing scent of alcohol tickling her nostrils. She loved this scent, especially when it grew so strong in the afternoon sun. Exaltation in the form of nostalgia rushed her to open the door and welcome the friendly bar to herself.

At the same moment she opened the door, one of the stallions known for his long life of constant muscle building flew headfirst into the wall right next to her, breaking the solid obstacle's wooden layer as the bruiser fell unconscious to the floor.

Shocked was suddenly the white mare's new expression when she looked at where the big pony came from, right next to the stallion sitting around two other knocked-out muscles. She immediately recognized the coat and black ponytail coming from the back of that white and red cap, summoning a fine smile on her lips as she glimpsed over her shades.

“He-hey, there's the high-roller!” she exclaimed and trotted up to the male turning around. His own smile took shape when he too recognized behind his own, pitch-black shades.

“Well, well, if it isn't miss won't-say-her-name...” he chuckled and turned back so the mentioned pony could sit down on the chair right next to him. Before she decided to talk, the unicorn looked down on the blue-beaten bruisers on the floor.

“Did... um, you do this?” she asked impressively.

“I have no idea what you're talking about” the stallion answered neutrally while discreetly wiping off the blood from his right hoof...

The mare giggled, knowing this fine stallion just wanted to remain humble after knocking down some sacks of bad hay, something that just made him cooler from her view. It had to be luck for her to find this kind of male at all, somepony who for once stuck out from the crowd of previous ponies she'd met. Perhaps he was a little different.... at least.

The unicorn was quick to order her drink. It was meant to be a regular soda at first, but when she thought again about the male she just had found, it ended up as a bourbon on the rocks instead. The stallion looked playfully at her. “You've been here before?”.

“Oh yeah, Ponyville is my foalhood town. Been spending most of my life here. What about you?” she returned casually. The stallion chuckled yet again and explained he was born far away from here and had hardly been to Ponyville in his entire life. The mare received her glass of alcoholic beverage and developed the talking, moving slowly towards her thoughts about the town and somehow dodging all personal information about her interests and current location.

They laughed, high-hoofed and continued to find out a chip more than they already knew about each other, playful nudges and regular eye-contact became a regular thing between them. Before any of them knew it, a few minutes had already passed, much to Vinyl's displease when she felt the fun increasing.

After a few minutes of glad conversation, the white mare said she had to leave and thus emptied her drink before getting up from her chair. Now was the moment of testing: would the stallion offer himself to pay for her drink like a snob but gentlecolt, or ask if she is going to do it like a cool but cheap colt? This was it, and as she turned around...

“How bout you pay for mine and I pay for yours?” he asked calmly at the same time he put down his empty glass on the counter. The mare cocked an eyebrow, realizing she didn't quite expect that response. “Say what?” she thus answered.

The male smiled with a good amount of self-confidence at the female. “Don't you think it's... more fun that way?” he quoted and glimpsed over his black shades.

The unicorn kept staring dumbfound at him for another second until she unintentionally broke a giggle of the cuter kind, covering her mouth in an instant when she heard the girly pitch and blushing faintly in the process. The stallion chuckled and got up from his chair. “Just kidding... hehe....” he added and placed a hoof of six bits on the desk. Two for his own, three for the mare's and one for the tip.

The steel gray equine adjusted his white and red cap and went for the exit, leaving the frozen mare who still held her mouth. Standing there like that time she was caught clopping by her parents, she wasn't impressed, nor amused or even the slightest dazzled.

Just... warm and fuzzy...

To be continued...

Author's Note:
I don't know if I was unlucky or just really failed with this, but I'm going to give this story a few weeks before I decide if to continue or not. The chapters doesn't really take that much time to write and hey, I still find great pleasure in writing them. Some of you thought this was good while others think I should go back to writing PL and ToE, which I can understand. However, none of you thought this was bad so far.

Anyhow, I need your opinions, guys. It can be long or short and sweet, just as long as it's something, so please just take that little time to tell me what you think... pretty please with sugar? (man, look at me...)

Brohoof on ya all!

And I'ma let ya'll finish...

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Previously: since Mane Death's manager, Golden Brochure, doesn't know who the contract holder is, the group loses faith in her. Short afterward, when the vocalist isn't nearby, Vinyl mistakes the remaining stallions as rapists and thus kick their flanks. Short after that, she meets up with the vocalist, sharing an even friendlier moment with him right before he leaves..

Part 5: and I'ma let ya'll finish...


The laughter kept echoing from the entertained stallion as he saw the brutally beaten stallions laying on the ground.

“What in Equestria itself happened to you three?”.

“Hng... a.. pony came... f-from nowhere and... I dunno, beat us up” Cord explained while remaining on the ground, rubbing his head.

“Yeah... he... ugh.. was fast... and strong...” Wide Beat hissed in pain while holding his head.

“Did... did I just get laid?”.

Everypony turned to Stricken, holding their sight on the blue beaten unicorn for another few seconds until Coal looked at the apathetic mare across the flood of humiliation.

“Hehe... well, who did this? You seem to be alright, Golden...” he stated without actually suspecting her for it. However, the dark brown mare kept standing still like she had a red laser dot on her muzzle, knowing it'd kill her if she just moved. Thus, she just nodded.

Displeased with the answer, the steel gray stallion sighed. “Oh well, whatever. It's not like I haven't beaten you guys up before all four on one. Come on, get up now”.

“Easy for you to say who haven't had... gnh... your genitals b-brutalized like stuck in a meat grinder...” Cord said annoyingly and took Coal's offered fore hoof. Soon they all stood up again, however very bruised and slightly angry

“Uhh... okay... who did this to you again?” the vocalist asked out of curiosity.

“By a m-floh!” Golden responded, perfect censored by the hooves of Wide Beat and Cord Screech. Coal cocked an eyebrow.

“A mofo? Ugh, I hate those little buggers, thinking they are something...”.

Golden pushed aside the hooves, freeing her mouth for a mere second.

“No, it was a uni-shfom!!”.

“A unison? Which one? The herd of life?”.

“It was Vin-yghsahs”.

“Vin Gasoline? The movie star? What the buck did you do to him?”.

“The rav-pfher!”.

“A raper?! Oh snap, Stricken, it must be your apprentice! I need your sleeping agent and your fleshlight!”.

“GET YOURHOOVES OFF ME!!” Golden yelled and struggled herself free from the stallions constantly covering her mouth. In that instant, Cord and Wide Beat yanked the mare and brought here away from Stricken who distracted Coal.

“What are you doing?! Get... off me!”.

“Golden, listen... there's something you need to know...” Cord whispered as he and the other stallion leaned closer to her face, creating an intimidating ambiance for the mare.

“When a mare somehow, somewhat and somewhy beats the living crap out of you... and if you happen to be a stallion...”.

Both of the males held their hooves like they did a thumbs up, not that they knew what that even was.

“You never let the truth out!” they said in unison with waterfalls of tears from their eyes, grinning widely to mask their souls dying a little inside. The dark brown mare stared without any sign of amusement for several seconds and sighed. “Okay... I get it...”.

- - - -
Meanwhile outside the bar, Vinyl had met up with her friends and relative. She didn't hide the fact that she was a little stirred after the fuzzy feeling taking over her inside. Sunny was fast, however.

“What's up, Vinyl? You were in there for a little while?”.

She didn't answer aside from the confused glance she gave him. Her mood was not in the right set to speak about suddenly sensitive subjects like what she did that took so long time. In normal cases, it would've been a joke about doing his mom or perhaps even Rain Water's mom for reasons outside anypony's understanding.

“Shut up, Sunny...” was thus her only response in form of a grumble. Sadly, the male had already seen that disoriented too many times to not know what it meant.

“Hehe... somepony just got the blushes a little while ago” he stated which triggered curios looks from the other ponies.

“Shut up, I did not!” she insisted, sounding even more annoyed. The male did as commanded, but not without chuckling a little over his friend's rare girlish behavior. Oh yes, she had experienced the crimson spots on her cheeks just a minute ago inside the bar. The bar with the blue beaten body builders that is.

“Did you see a gray stallion with a red cap and black shades coming out?”.

The others looked at each other and then shook their heads. They had just gotten here and thus missed the very male she talked about. In that moment, Sunny, Rain Water and Lucky all smiled. This was certainly getting more and more hilarious.

Vinyl hung her head for a second and inhaled, turning her head to the place where that hotel they looked for was. “Let's go...”.

After a quick walk into the hotel, the receptionist refused to give them information about their guests. What he especially didn't tell them was the fact the hotel had been paid to shut up about it. So after just being inside the big building for five minutes, Vinyl and her gang all walked out and stood like lost in front of the door.

“Well, that was a bummer?” Sunny stated to the scowling and frowning mares. None of them wanted to give a response to him since they all had been looking forward to finding the band.

The mayor, however, was actually busy trying to find out where else they could be. It didn't take long for her to realize there was no other answer. There was no place for trailer parking in Ponyville, so if you didn't live here, you had to check in on this hotel. Now it was obvious, they had to live here.

Suddenly, Rain Water looked to her left and saw what they all were looking for. The game had been long and fun, but now was probably the time to end it. Running around Ponyville was only so much fun.

“Hey, Vinyl...”.

The mentioned unicorn didn't even glance away from her pouting. No, she had decided to stay like this. Frozen in a deep shell made out of steel and titanium, nothing to break her free. This was her new personality, cold, ignorant and to be honest a real bitch. She felt like killing someth-.

“Isn't that the stallion you talked about in a red and white cap?”.

A rainbow nuke detonate, freeing Vinyl from the imprisonment. She rose her head up in an instant and turned her head towards every direction until only one remained, Rain Water's direction. The others turned around too, noticing at once the steel gray male talking to one of the ponies Vinyl just beat the living hay out of. The eyes of the DJ widened when she recognized the light blue unicorn and the darker earth pony. In haste, she galloped away without caring about her company.

Sunny and Lucky put on their disappointed faces when looking at the light green pegasus who had ruined their fun.

“Aw, come on.... this story is getting nowhere anyways”.

Hey! Back in character!

“Ugh, fine. Sorry, mister narrator...”.
- - - -

Coal slowly began to wonder where his friend was going with the random talking about stuff he didn't even knew was so uninteresting. Sometimes it was a little hard hanging on to even the coherent words and sentences, but soon it would come to an end.

“... and that was the last time I tried a hoof-fetish. Sometimes it really feels like a kick in the-.

In the blink of an eye, Stricken's neck twisted 90 degrees as the well-placed hind hoof hit his cheek. The air cracked as he flew across the street into a fruit cart and blew up, disappearing in a thick smoke and raging fires. A second later, the white unicorn mare posed victoriously as a loud noise played out from nowhere.


“Oh come on, is this a manga now..?” he asked and... wait, hey! Do I have to tell you too?!

“Seriously, what the buck is this? Is it parody comedy or something? Everything's just a bunch of references and sexual jokes!”.

The author is just trying to write something else than clop for once, give him a ch-

“Meh, all he can do is write clop. Just look at a 'day called estrous'. How do you even come up with the idea of a mother and daughter having se-”.

Whatever! Just shut up and continue!

“Or else what?”

Or else... we can turn this into a parody of 'the spiderses'...

“Wow! Wow, dude... dude! Relax, I got it! Crystal clear, just... don't do anything we'll both regret...”.

Good, now let's continue. Ahem: Coal looked at where his unicorn guitarist had landed and then turned his eyes back on the white mare... ugh, now I'm all out of character...

“That was a tad... excessive?” he stated to the mare who got down from her pose, giggling all awhile.

“Meh, don't worry about him. He was a rapist anyways who I just beat up before meeting you”.

Coal looked at the burning mess and thought for a moment.

“I suppose you're right... perhaps that can cool him down from his overheated perversion” he agreed and then chuckled, joining Vinyl who thought the exact same thing. “Ahahaha! I know right? By the way, what were you doing with him?”.

The stallion froze in a choke. He couldn't tell the truth, not now when he perhaps had a nice friend growing up here. But it was okay, he just had to hide his real name for the time being. Eventually she would find out, but now was not the best time to...

“C-coal...” he heard from the utterly destroyed fruit cart. The green unicorn crawled out from the debris like a puny weakling, scorched and bruised. “F-for the love of... Celestia, Coal... h-help me outta here!”.

As the stallion grit his teeth, he realized there was only one way to prevent this, by helping his friend before he said too much. Unfortunately when he ran away, Vinyl furrowed her eyebrows in total confusion when she heard that name.


In the meantime, Vinyl's friends and the mayor came up behind her, just in time to when Golden Brochure came back with the other band members. They all looked at each other for a short while. Puzzle piece after puzzle piece, it became clearer for all the ponies who the others were. Vinyl stared at the ponies she remembered beating up or saving, together with her friends who smiled nervously at her. She looked at the dark brown mare with the golden curls, this just couldn't be true.

“Who... w-who are you?”.

The mare looked at the stallions next to her who returned with glances. There was no point, she also knew who this unicorn was. A light sigh.

“My name is Golden Brochure... I'm the manager of the band 'Mane Death'..” she answered flatly.

Vinyl widened her eyes in shock before the stallions spoke up, looking angrily at her.

“I'm Cord Screech, lead guitarist”.

“And I'm Wide Beat, drummer”.

The mare glanced at the steel gray stallion coming back with the band's second guitarist. He was greeted by the sight of all the other ponies he didn't recognize behind the white unicorn mare. Stricken was out cold.

“Who are those?” he asked, which practically cued the strangers to smile and talk.

“I'm Rain Water...” the green pegasus stated.

“Lucky Catch...” the dark pink unicorn said with a flirty eye wink.

“Sunny Days...” the orange earth pony stallion said with his eyes on Cord Screech.

“Mayor Mare” the mature mare said with bedroom eyes on the whole band.

Coal stood still, unable to move when each aftershock after the mental earthquake shook him down to pieces. Stricken fell to the ground from his back with a thud, completely ignored as the vocalist took off his shades slowly.

Vinyl took off her own shades, staring with horrified eyes like Sarah Ponyn had been elected as Amareica's new president. She didn't dare breathe, she didn't fare believe, and she absolutely did not want to understand.

“Mother of Celestia...” they said at the same time with their shades in the right hoof.

“Vinyl Scratch...” Coal said.

“Coal Silvermane...” Vinyl said.

The world turned into ice for a mere moment, giving the sun time enough to launch a full-scale wave of heat over the globe. Equestria inhaled, allowing the flowers of summer to fall down silently. One lone bloom soared friendly down from a high tree, moving with the wind into the a part of the town where several ponies stood face to face. As the white mare and the gray stallion stared at each other silently, the flower slowly landed softly on the ground, signing that time once again existed.

It was at that moment the two ponies crushed their shades to the ground and lit a fire in their eyes...

To be Continued...

Author's Note:
I'm seriously already planning on putting this story down. I suppose I made a mistake when I published the first three chapters all at once. If I hadn't, this story would have bounced much longer and eventually caught more readers.

Or I'm just totally failing. Maybe I should have written this in a first person view? I dunno, but it's too late now. You guys have to tell me what you think, that's all I can do for now. If this doesn't improve any soon, the story will be canceled and removed, and I'll apologize to you guys who liked this. I'm just so busy with Tears of Ecstasy and Ponyville's Lusts and my motivation to continue this is dying :(

Brohoof on ya all!

Choking chickens and Sodom

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Previously: after the two musicians had met again inside the local bar of Ponyville, they finally find out the truth about each other. As almost everypony in each group of friends introduce each other, Vinyl Scratch and Coal Silvermane crushes their shades with burning rage in their eyes...


Part 6: Choking chicks and sodomy

In the center of the two lines, the two pairs of shades fell to pieces on the ground, marking the battle between wills of passionate fire and hard steel. Massive amounts of power burst through both combatants forelegs, moving in swift strikes and superior might. Dodging and blocking was a fact of survival when it came to this war between the DJ and the vocalist. One single punch or kick could easily kill the other, unless they swiftly avoided and counter-attacked. The violence caused the two ponies to fear, thus summoning additional strength and speed in order to win. And the crowd...

“Are they still going on?” Wide Beat asked as he came back to the scene with a milkshake.

“Yep... been like this for ten minutes now...”.

Vinyl and Coal stood on their hindlegs just a meter away from each other, rapidly waving and slapping their hooves in the air, hardly reaching each others faces since they looked the other way.

“It's like watching two sissies fight...” Wide Beat stated and took a sip from the straw in his milkshake.

The others nodded in agreement. “Shouldn't we be doing something?” Rain Water asked all the others who turned their heads to her. The orange stallion Sunny Days scratched his chin, soon summoning a light bulb above his head and scaring the crap out of the mare next to hm due to the sudden light.

He walked up behind Vinyl who still held the same silly loop, took a deep breath and then pushed his friend while grinning awesomely the other way. The unicorn gasped as she felt herself tumbling all over the stallion in front of her, sending them both to the ground in a thud. The others gasped in awe at the extreme change of fighting style, and the incredible maturity growing like a flower in the su-.

“Kyaaaah! Get off me, get off me, get off me!!”.

“Stop screaming like a filly and get away from me, bugger-face!”.

“You get away from me, cootie-breath! I'm going to tell my friends!”.

“You do that and I'll tell my dad! Because I know he's stronger than yours!”.

“Yeah, go tell mom and dad, that's really fair!”.

“Well, you're weaker than a baby pony! Bleeeh!!.

As the two ponies continued to wrestle around like two over-sized foals, the watching ponies sighed in unison. “Brilliant idea, Sunny...” Rain Water then complimented sarcastically to the grinning colt enjoying the show.

“That was actually really funny” Cord stated right before his chuckle, attracting Sunny's attention at once. “He-hey! There's somepony who knows humor” the orange stallion returned, winking at the blue male.

“Whatever, let's end this crime against the good name of adult behavior before my mammal instincts come to life and I scold them like an elementary school teacher” Mayor Mare said and tried to solve the conflict while Sunny walked up to the guitarists.

“What's your name again?” he asked gladly to the unicorn still standing straight, minding Stricken was laying on the ground with burns and bruises all over his body.

The light blue equine smiled again, scratching the back of his neck. “Cord Screech...”.

“Oh yeah, you're the lead guitarist, eh? I've seen some of your videos and darn, you got some sexy poses when torturing that guitar!”.

Stricken's ears flapped up.

“Heh... yeah, thanks. You're the first one telling me that...” Cord responded bashfully, glancing nervously in every corner of his eyes.

“Really? Geez, somepony like you look like one who belongs on the Playfilly cover. I'd be surprised to not see you surrounded by crazy fan girls”.

“Buck off, dude...”.

“Hehe... not used to compliments?”.

Cord snorted, not losing his smile soon to be accompanied by a weak flush on his cheeks. He didn't dare meet the stallion's eyes. He glanced everywhere and eventually ended up on the downed unicorn next to him.

“Can you... help me up, Co-”.

“Shut up and die in peace, Stricken...” he said quickly and stomped a brutal hoof on his friend's neck, still trying to hide the embarrassing expression in vain. Meanwhile, the mayor of Ponyville had managed to stop the ponies wreaking havoc on the spot of Ponyville's street. She held them both back from each other, standing between to create distance even though they still flaunted their hooves..

“Okay, now when you both have introduced yourself to each other... what do you say we talk about this like grown ponie-”.

“Aunt Marguerite! Tell him it's my stage and not his!”

“Stop taking others help, you dodo!”.

“Don't use words I don't understand!”


“QUIET! BOTH OF YOU!!” the beige brown mare yelled and struck a disciplined hoof into each struggling pony's head, smacking them to the ground like carpets. But even if the pain was good enough to club down a raging Manticore, Coal and Vinyl still struggled to reach their opponent in blood. Mayor Mare sighed in annoyance, knowing there was only one way to end this...

- - - -
“What got into you, Coal?”.

“Yeah, you behaved like a foal back there...”.

“Does anypony have some ointment... it feels like... bullet wounds in my chest...”.

Coal glared at his friends from the bed he had been given. They were all back on the hotel, sitting either on some sofas or mentioned beds. He was in no mood to talk to them about what happened. They would never understand, not what went through his head when that cursed mare got stuck in his eyesight. There were many ravers and shufflers he despised, but Vinyl Scratch was special. She had to be the very heroine of dubbestep, hardstyle and techno. A true messiah for everypony who enjoyed the loud bass and crazy noises.

No, she was a big loser who didn't know how to sing or make music the real way with instruments. Just a nopony who knew all about the opposite of real vibrations. No, he just felt like taking it out on his friends for now.

“You're to talk. What the hay were you guys doing being all polite and friendly to the ponies following that freak of a mare?” he snapped, turning around in his bed to stare angrily at them.

The stallions chuckled, looking at each other and agreeing over the ridiculousness they heard.

“Coal, for the love of Celestia, chill down. They were really nice ponies and we enjoyed talking to them while you fought like a little daycare foal”.

“Yeah, and those girls were really hot too. Not an opportunity you miss on purpose, right?”.

“Seriously, guys... it hurts all over my body...”.

Coal snorted and turned around in an instant with his forelegs crossed, keeping the snout high up like a snob. The members laughed, shaking their heads.

The door into the hotel room opened, gently forced by Golden Brochure carrying a gloomy expression on her muzzle. The stallions turned their heads to her, aside from Coal.

“Guys, we got a problem...” she stated sadly, truly radiating the bad news awaiting her beloved band, which she actually wanted to see die in a fire sometimes...

- - - -
“Good news, colts and fillies!” Mayor Mare said out happily as she entered the door to the hotel room. The inhabitants in form of three mares and one stallion gathered around her. But the mature mare realized that one of them didn't joined, her fine niece, that was. She just sat there in the corner, looking outside a window to see the small ponies from the fifth floor. She wasn't really glad, even if her aunt came with good news. But she listened at least.

“I've just had a conversation with Mane Death's manager, and it ended to your favor! It would seem they are missing a member from their band and are thus unable to report until then. Vinyl can take a slow walk to the stage, because they have to wait until tomorrow before they can sign up”.

Vinyl's ears reacted to that, causing her to look away from the window. “Wait, what?”.

“You heard right, sweetie! Apparently, they forgot their bass player on the train, and he wont be able to get back until tomorrow. He ended up pretty far away, you see...” Mayor Mare continued, sadly talking to deaf ears since Vinyl stopped listening.

She understood what this meant, that she had already won... without proving anything. No, it couldn't end like this. She promised herself they were going to suffer their defeat in agony, really burning agony and humiliation turning them inside out. Well, not literally, more figuratively.

“Marguerite...” she said while rubbing her white chin. Everypony in the room turned to her. “I wanna talk to him again... that Coal....” she said seriously, looking over the surprised ponies. Rain Water and Lucky Catch looked at each other with disbelief in their eyes, knowing this couldn't end well.

Mayor Mare hesitated too, but she recognized that serious look from her niece. This time she meant business and not foalish talk.

“Okay... but promise me you won't break out like a foal again...” she demanded without any harsh tone.

“Yeah, what was up with that, by the way?” Sunny added.

Vinyl didn't answer. She just walked past them all and opened the door, soon to be followed by her friends and family along the hallway.

It was really ironic they had the room on the same floor of the same hotel as the band...

The unicorn had reached the door after her aunt's guiding, looked at the sign without any special designs and knocked clearly. It was silent at first, but soon a voice was heard.

“Guys, it's knocking on the door...”.


“Aw come on, can't you see it... ouch... hurts?”

The silence was deafening.

“Buck you all...”.

The door opened, unveiling the green, scorched muzzle of Stricken who sighed in annoyance once he saw the white unicorn mare staring back at him.

“Oh, great. Look who is here to pour salt on the wounds...”.

“I wanna talk with your singer, toast”.

Stricken glared angrily, strongly reconsidering slamming the door in Vinyl's face. But right when he was about to turn his head to the mentioned stallion, a strong hoof smashed him into the door, shocking the visiting ponies in the hallway. As the unicorn fell lifelessly to the floor with a weird grimace, Coal Silvermane showed himself in the doorway.

“I didn't order any hooker today, so what are you doing here, feather-hoof?” he said and got up on his hindleg to lean on the door frame, glaring on the unicorn he just degraded. Even though the mayor felt a nail in her anger hitting a vital spot, she saw Vinyl was going to pay back equally.

“Just going to tell you that I'll pay your mother in a few days for the oral she gave me last week: two bits... as usual..”.

Lucky leaned to her pegasus friend. “At least they are insulting each other like grown-ups now...” she whispered, immediately responded. “More like teenagers, but close enough I suppose”.

“Okay, seriously. What the hay do you want? Gonna rub your victory in our faces?” Coal asked indeed seriously as his friends gathered up behind him, including Golden. The unicorn mare gave them all a look, even to the once again downed stallion suffering a concussion. She met the steel gray stallion's eyes in the end, breathing deeply before revealing her intentions of being her in front of everypony.

“Not really. So I heard you can't attend to the scene today?” she stated which almost brought the band members to a united growl. Even though they all stared like predators at her, Vinyl remained calm. “And that's because your missing one of your friends who will be back tomorrow?”.

The vocalist slammed a hoof in the door, nearly knocking it off its hinges. “Give me one reason to not make myself guilty for assault in front of the mayor, 'miss Scratch'...”.

The stallions cracked their fetlocks, preparing to actually go that far. Golden Brochure and Mayor Mare both prepared in worry to get between them, knowing this time it was a serious threat fully able to end in bloodshed. But...

“You want a reason for that? We'll wait until your friend arrive tomorrow...”.

Literally everypony stopped breathing there for a moment, especially Stricken.

“What?” Coal asked after a few seconds of total silence, hardly believing his eyes and ears.

“You heard me... 'mister Coal'. Me and the gang will wait until your bass player gets back to Ponyville, and then we will determine who gets the stage” Vinyl furthered, not caring if the ponies she talked to wanted to respond.

Coal stood like frozen on the spot together with his friends. He didn't look away from the apparently cocky mare, he knew it was kind of a challenge. And for the pony he expected the worst of from the start, he sure didn't see this act of fair play coming from her. The band members looked at their leader, waiting for him to make a response in form of 'go to pony-hell' or 'buck this shit, you're going down', but...


The stallions widened their eyes, even Stricken from the floor.

“See ya at the stage, then.... mister Silvermane” the white equine bid her farewell and then walked away like nothing, prolonging her look on the stallion before finally getting out of range. The others remained on the spot, hesitating if to follow her or continue talking to the others. They all had good reasons according to themselves.

“Well... we'll meet again. So long everypony!” the mayor said and walked down the hallway where Vinyl went. Sunny Days, Rain Water and Lucky Catch inhaled as the slowly growing peer pressure consumed them. In the end, the dark pink unicorn Lucky decided to send a flirty wink at the vocalist before heading back to her room, followed by the green pegasus Rain Water who did the same. Then, only the orange earth pony colt was left.

“Soo... Cord?” he asked the light blue unicorn male, waking up an interest from mentioned pony. “Nice seeing you again so soon. Be there tomorrow, will ya?”.

After the wink from his male eyelash, the lead guitarist couldn't prevent his chuckle. “Yeah, see you there too... and your friends!” he exclaimed in the the last word, attracting the band's attention.

There were no more words, only the sound from the door creaking shut again. But as Coal walked back to his bed, the others found the words they wanted to use earlier.

“What was that, Coal? That was even stranger than earlier today...”.

“I think I speak for all of us when I say we never expected you to show.... well, gratitude even in its weakest form” Golden added, causing the other to nod their heads.

“Yeah, that... ouch... was Vinyl Scratch... your nemesis, dude” Stricken managed to utter while Wide Beat helped him sit up from the floor.

Coal sighed in defeat, it was impossible to hide it now. He didn't look back, but very well spoke from his mind to them.

“It's true that I hate her guts as a soldier of music, but when I found out she was the same mare I met on the train and on the bar... realizing she was something else when not seeing her covered in the scent of rave...”.

Meanwhile outside in the corridor, Vinyl had been asked the same questions about why she gave her enemy an honest chance to rival her when she had the upper hoof.

“Sure, he is disgusting with his animal noises and so-called music, but after seeing his sides as a pony on the train when he gave me the last cup of coffee and then got me so good with my own words at the bar...”.

They both said the last sentence at the same time, sounding really like they had been defeated. Sadly, they were far too away from each other to hear the synchronization.

“She was really nice and cute...”.

“He was really nice and cool...”.

To be continued...

Author's Note:
Okay, guys... you gave me new hope. You weren't many, but you were all agreeing that I should continue this. It would seem I've forgotten how much even one follower means to you, and you all prove that to me. Once upon a time, I only had like, two or three readers, and it was overjoying to see! Suppose I've been spoiled with so many followers during all this time.
Now I've found interest and motivation to continue this, and I owe it ALL to you!

Thanks everypony. You made me remember to never let go of your creation no matter how few who sees it. As long as at least one of you reads my stories... I'm pleased ^^

Brohoof on ya all!

Ponyvillian Rhapsody

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Previously: after Coal's and Vinyl's... er, “decisive” battle... they later found out that Vinyl had the upper hoof in getting the scene since Mane Death's bass player is still absent. However, when all hope seems to be lost, Vinyl shows up and tell them all she will wait until the band is gathered again. And yes, she is indeed planning something...

Part 7: Ponyvillian rhapsody

In the darkened room, a small lamp from the ceiling lit up an even smaller wooden crate. Three ponies of different sexes appeared from each side of the square object. To the west was the green pegasus. The east unveiled an orange stallion. A dark pink unicorn appeared from the south. And all of them glanced at each other with frowns, showing just how serious this business was. But the great final was without doubt the white unicorn wearing black shades who occupied the northern side of the crate. The obvious leader shoved a cigar in her mouth, occupying half of her mouth doing so.

“Ah right, thish ish et...” the white mare said due to the fat thing in her mouth and unfolded a map over the crate. “The enemy ish currently regrouping over at the train shtashion. Ash shoon ash they arh fhully numbered they will try to reach defenshe shone A”.

She smacked her hoof over the black A she had drawn on the map.

“But WE whill be there to shtop them dead in their tracksh! Doesh everypony got their asshignments?” she asked before the others glanced seriously on the pony next to them. They then shook their heads. The white leader sighed through her fat cigar.

“Lucky Shot!” she called and pointed at the dark pink unicorn mare. “You are to cover Defenshe zone A from all anglesh where the enemy can attack!”.

“Acid Rain!” she called out and pointed at the green pegasus mare. “You are to take plaishe on a nearby rooftop and provide cover for Lucky Shot by shniping their main forchesh!”.

“Sun of a Dutch!” she called out and pointed at the orange stallion who finally facehoofed.

“Aw, for the love of...” he mumbled and stood up to pull the lamp's string, lightning up the whole hotel room.... for some reason.

“AAHHH! THE DAYLIGHT! IT BUUUURNS!!” Vinyl suddenly roared and fell on her back.

“Stop joking around!Seriously, Vinyl! This is getting ridiculous!” he stated.

“What? The plan ish in all sheriousn-”.

“It's not that! What's up with the darn code names?! And why the bloody hay are you wearing sunglasses in the dark for? And that cigar makes you sound like Popeye the tailor on meth!”.

“NO!” Vinyl protested and popped out her cigar. “It makes me sound like Al Capony! And I be sendin' them land-lovers ta David Pones' locker! Hail Blackbeard!” she insisted and extended her right foreleg up in the air from the floor.


The silence fell over the room. All ponies either sat, stood or laid down in still peace and quiet. That until Vinyl sighed and sat up too. “Fine...” she then said and smacked away the cigar so it hit Lucky Catch's forehead, knocking her down due to disgust. Vinyl stood up on her hindleg in a snap after the glorious headshot, taking off her sunglasses and throwing them out through the closed window with a crash.

“Right. So our plan is to mess up the band so they'll hoof over the position to me” she explained while Rain Water helped brush off the cigar dust from her other friend's muzzle. “Aaaaand, minding we are three girls, four if including my aunt, and one guy.... we got this in a little box!”.

“Really?” Sunny Days asked in disbelief, looking ever so unamused. “And what is your plan?”.

Vinyl looked at her male friend for a long set of seconds before turning to the window she sat in front of the other day. “My plan, dear Sunny, is to completely humiliate Coal and his friends before the show starts in ten days. And that is by simply... stimulating... their basic needs”.

As Vinyl's fore hooves met each other beneath the sinister shadow of hers, Sunny Days raised an eyebrow. It didn't take long for him to understand what she meant by that. Thus, he spoke out if his mind.

“So hold on... you mean you're going to use us, your friends, to SEDUCE the band?” he asked, causing the other mares to flash and turn towards Vinyl's white back.

“What the... what kind of friend are you?” Lucky Catch said angrily.

“You selling us like some chap tramps from Fillydelphia?” Rain Water asked more disappointingly, giving Vinyl the perfect opening to further explain her plan. She looked over her shoulder, still covered in a pitch-black shade over her eyes. She grinned like a demon.

“Are you girls telling me... that you don't want to score with those stallions? You were both drooling your gums out when looking at the vocalist, I can tell...” she spoke like she knew everything about her friends. And in fact, the two other mares looked away in embarrassment. Then, Vinyl's ice-cold look landed on the orange stallion.

“And you, Sunny... I can already tell you've used your special coltcuddler powers to...

“My special WHAT, now?”.

“... to seduce one of the guitarists already. And if auntie Marguerite joins too, which I know by the name of Celestia she will, we only have the head of the snake to cut off left...” Vinyl ended like she was never interrupted.

The eyes of all the other ponies in the room widened. Lucky and Rain flinched while Sunny put a hoof over his chest. None of them wanted to believe what they heard. This was absolute blasphemy to everything the DJ believed in. Hypocrisy invaded the empty air and swirled around the white unicorn mare who turned back to the window. A bead of sweat broke from her horned forehead.

“No... Vinyl. Y-you can't... p-possibly mean...” Sunny stuttered and stepped backwards.

“Vinyl, are you... s-serious? What's gotten into you?!”.

“Hush, Rain Water! She's probably possessed or something...” Lucky managed to stop her pegasus friend.

But Vinyl was fully aware of her decision. And she didn't regret it even the slightest. This would after all be her greatest success ever, and the absolutely shiniest trophy on her wall of scored stallions.

“Yes. I'm going to make him beg for me to nail him... so hard...” she said as the imaginary succubus horns and wings emerged from her body...

Speaking of Discord... I wonder what Coal Silvermane is up to now, Sunny Days thought to himself.

- - - -
The purple stallion stood in front of the four-pony crowd. He had just exited the train arriving from another part of Equestria, now keeping his pose on the hindlegs and with crossed forelegs. Coal, Stricken, Cord, Wide Beat and Golden Brochure all stood in unison to behold their friend and coworker take his first step on the soils of Ponyville. As his careful hoof touched dirt, he put his forelegs on his waist.

Coal widened his eyes. His vocal cords tensed as he struck a foreleg into the air

“I see a little silhouette of a colt!” he sang.

Scaramouch, Scaramouch! Will you do the fandango?” the others in the band sang out loud behind Coal.

All three stallions surrounded the dark brown mare. “THUNDERBOLTS AND LIGHTNING! VERY, VERY FRIGHTENING ME!!” they sang to scare the living hay out of her.

Deep Bass jumped up to his friends, causing them all to turn around in a swirl. Coal stepped forward and stared deep into his eyes. Bass started off first with his lightest voice while Coal followed with the deeper variant.


And then both together.

Gallileo, Figaro!” they sang before Coal pushed away Bass to continue alone. “Magnificoo-ooh!!!”.

A poor foal wearing a dirty headscarf and big, wet eyes stepped forward to the stallions, causing them to turn around in a swirl again.

“I'm just a poor colt nopony loves me” he said which brought the band of stallions to hold him up like a victory trophy.

“He's just a poor colt from a poor family! Spare him his life from this monstrosity!!!”.

Before the foal could say anything more, he was already thrown away several meters to Golden who caught him like a hoofball. The band ran up to her and snatched the poor foal again.

“Easy come, easy go...” Coal sang right before he and the others held the foal up above their heads. “Will you let me go?!” he screamed.

“Bismillah, no! We will not let you go!”.

“Let him go!” Golden called out.

“Bismillah, no! We will not let you go!”.

“Let him go!!!”.

“Bismillah, no! We will not let you go!”.

“Let me go!” the foal cried in fear.

“Never let you go!”.

“Let me go!” he repeated on the edge of tears.

“Never let you go!”.

“Let me go!”


“Let me go-ho-ho-hooo” the foal finally ended up crying.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!” the band of stallions continued angrily.

“Oh mamma Mia, mamma Mia!” Coal started anew to signal his friends for the last part. “Mamma Mia?! LET ME GO!!!” the foal shouted for the last time. Then the whole band posed around the held foal like a fountain statue with him on the top and sang together.

“Nigtmare Moon has a Discord put aside for me... for meee... for MEEEEEEEEEE-”.

And it was at that moment Golden Brochure had taken a shovel from the train's coal supply cart and smacked down the vocalist, right before doing the same to the others.

Five minutes later...

Golden Brochure brushed of the little crying foal and then gave him a bit to buy something for. When he scurried away, the manager mare turned to the knocked out stallions.

“Okay, guys: I know you're all excited to be together again, but do you have to kidnap an innocent foal just because of your inability to control yourself? And why did you sing while doing so?”.

Coal, Wide Beat, Cord and Deep Bass all rubbed the back of their heads, chuckling at the female standing prepared with the shovel again.

“We're back at full strength and it's moment like this we have to be sure the title makes some sense”.


“Nothing. Now! Everypony!” Coal commanded which sent all his crew up on all four. “We g-”.

“Our pervert is still knocked out...” Cord stated after a glance at the blue stallion. Coal rubbed his chin for a second.

“Well... it looks like he was...” he said and put on a set of black shades. “... Stricken to the ground”.

As the beautiful view of Ponyville's rooftops unveiled itself from a higher perspective, a loud 'yeah' could be heard while a certain steel gray stallion was knocked down by another hit from the shovel...

- - - -
Vinyl had left the hotel together with only two of her friends, Rain Water and Lucky Catch. She kept walking with the deep shade of black over her eyes, grinning toothily like a literal demon by night.

“Uhm, Vinyl? Can you stop looking like that?” the dark pink unicorn asked her friend.

“I... wish... I... could....” the mentioned pony stated like her jaw was locked. “What?” Rain Water followed.

It was at that moment they all realized Vinyl's face was covered in sweat. “It... has... been... s-so long.... since I.... used... th-th-th-hnnggg...”.

And just like that, Vinyl caused a cracking noise like every bone in her body snapped at once. Suddenly she was back to normal and sighed. “Phew... wow, it's been so long since I used my 'white widow look' that my facial muscles collapsed...”.

“White widow look? Vinyl, was that a pun based on the color of your coat?”.

“Yep! And it gets better. If you take the first letter of each word and type them on a computer, what does it look like?”.

Lucky and Rain frowned in annoyance.

“What's up with your world war references today, Vinyl...?” the pegasus mare asked the laughing unicorn. She didn't mind the question as long as it didn't require a serious answer. Right now she only had one thing in mind, the total victory over her sworn nemesis. This was her battle, an honor she would pledge her life to get. Nothing else really mattered to her.

Anywhere the wind blow...” she hummed silently as she held her head high. She beheld the town of her foalhood, the silent and quiet little Ponyville where the Apples once upon a time settled down long before she was born to make money and survive the open land. It was a gentle town where many of her family members and old friends had lived and died just like so many others had. She sure missed them all, especially those she knew she'd never see again...

Suddenly she stopped in synchronization with everypony around her on the street. Some ponies flipped out believing it was an Ursa coming into town again. Some were convinced it was a total storm breaking through to annihilate the town. And some simply told themselves it was the day of judgment predicted to happen once and for all. Surely all those religious prophets and professors couldn't be wrong.... again... right?

But Vinyl just arched her eyebrows while the inhabitants of her favorite town evacuated the streets. Wild noises and running ponies overran the streets until absolutely nopony else remained but she and the two others behind her. The last doors shut and the final windows closed, now the silhouette of the small stallions could reveal itself. “Ugh... of course”.

From down the street, four ponies emerged in the background of tortured strings and a beating bass. The guitars were coated in magic thanks to the unicorns, but the bass had to be played by hoof. And the strong noises were lead by the deep and dark tones of the one and only pony known for his demonic voice. He threw his fore hooves with strength and determination like he gave orders to an invisible crowd.

Vinyl listened for a moment, doing her best do interpret what the stallion was singing.

What he sang:

“Fought with the evil ways of disaster, the good has left my calling.
But I don't need no guiding, for I am already where I belong at last.
A wonderland for me, where all can be happy
like a murderer's knife in its victim's heart.
See my joy, see my laughter, see my eternal peace and quiet...”.

What Vinyl heard:


And she could have sworn he said something about pre-heat pizza rolls and a fire deep inside his butt. However, she didn't have much more time than that to grimace in disgust and confusion over the pretty unique lyrics. Coal finally saw the trio standing in the middle of the road. The others noticed the same and let the music fade away slowly in the last echoes. Vinyl smiled and so did Coal. Both put on their most cocky expressions and tried to outshine the other by looking taller. Much to Vinyl's disadvantage, Coal was a teeny-tiny inch higher. Yes, both literally and figuratively.

“You know what? I used to think you guys tried to summon Discord with your way of singing. But I must say you've convinced me I was wrong...” Vinyl started of maturely.

“Oh..?” Coal responded in slight amusement.

“Yeah.... you sound more like the colts from One Misdirection...”.

A string broke from Stricken's guitar. The entire band glared at Vinyl, especially Coal who still did his best to not lose this uncalled-for battle.

“Cute... did they all 'misdirect' when they shot their loads at your mouth? That'd explain all the white on your fur” Coal countered, waking up a chuckle from the band. A vein tensed up over Vinyl's temple.

“Why don't you ask your mom? Last time I checked her scheme there were an awful lot of '1MD's on it after my weekly appointments...” Vinyl sent back at once, making it harder for Coal who actually still smiled. Then the unicorn mare suddenly picked up two bits from nowhere.

“By the way. Give her those” she said and gently tossed the bits at Coal. “Two bits... as usual” she ended without any trace of amusement while the two coins hit the steel gray chest and ended up jingling on the ground.

Coal forgot to breath while smiling.

“THAT'S BUCKING IT!!!” he then screamed out in a less mature way and jumped at the mare in front off him. But right when Vinyl too was about to charge forward...

“Ahem!” a voice uttered that both the vocalist and the especially the DJ recognized. They froze in mid-air and stared left to see Mayor Mare a short distance away from them. “I'd hate to ruin your play-date... but aren't there more important things at stake right now?”.

The two rivals stared for a few seconds, then turned to look at each other again. Oh right, the scene...

“Hey, is that Neighchapel doing a signing?” Vinyl wondered and pointed. The entire band of stallions turned their heads in an instant with wide eyes and attentive ears... only to realize there was absolutely nothing behind them aside from the town itself. As Coal looked forward again, Vinyl had already started galloping the other way.

“Run, Coal, run!!” the others shouted, sending adrenaline through Coal's body as he charged after the tricky unicorn.

The dust from running hooves calmed down, leaving the four remaining stallions alone with the three other mares. They looked at each other in silence, all abandoned from the only two ponies who prevented them to do anything at all. They walked a little closer towards each other, still beholding what was in front of them. The younger mares smirked shyly while the stallions went on to full-fledged smiles.

“So... any of you who have marefriends?” the mature mare known as the mayor of this town asked bluntly.

The stallions dropped their smiles and gulped nervously instead...

To be continued...

Author's Note:
Well, I said I wouldn't abandon this story. And here's the evidence! Bo-yeah, fellas! Fellas...? meh, whatever.

So just a heads up: this story might go on for a while (like, over twenty chapters) if it keeps getting more viewers. I sure do hope some more people will find this story eventually, but until then I can only hope the OC tag doesn't scare them away. But no matter what, I will continue this story just for you guys who reads it ^^

And yes, Bohemian Rhapsody is a very hyped song. But well, none the less legendary.

Brohoof on ya all!

None punctuation

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Previously: Coal and Vinyl have been doing different things to prepare for the race to the stage. Vinyl planned from the start to ambush the death metal band with questionable tactics. However, now she thinks it's more logic to try win the stage by sleeping with everypony in the other team. Meanwhile, Coal and his friends finally reunites and celebrates by kidnapping a foal and singing to his great demise. As always, nothing makes sense... oh right, and now they are running towards the stage...

Part 8: None punctuation

Vinyl had the head start and now planned on keeping her first place for as long as possible. But even if her skills in running were quite unrivaled after her regular escapes from the guards every Friday and uneven Tuesdays, she would soon learn that you don't outrun another pony with an at least equally big motivation.

“I'm catching up on you!” Coal yelled just a few meters away from the white mare in front of him. Vinyl quickly glanced over her shoulder and gasped. She sure as hay hadn't planned on making this into a serious race.

“Get lost, you know that scene is mine!” she yelled back irritably.

Coal felt even more anger helping him get closer to the annoying mare. And when the distance was reduced to mere inches, he could practically smell the fear from his opponent.

“The day I lose to your kind is the day I stop calling myself a stallion!”.

“Then prepare to use a scalpel on your two inches!!” Vinyl countered swiftly and smacked her tail in Coal's face. The male tripped over and fell on his back, leaving Vinyl alone as she kept running. The victory was short-lived, however, when she three seconds later turned back her head and saw the sign warning about blocking signs.

Coal saw the painful collision and grimaced to sympathize the hurt. But it was then he realized his chance, thus got up on his hooves and ran past the downed mare rolling around while suffering a serious headache.

“Haha! Serves you right!” he taunted which served as several gallons of fuel for Vinyl's inner fire. She shook of the pain and chased after him. They ran past several streets, knocking over some of the ponies directly in their way but carefully rounding the young and elderly. Coal saw he still had several meters of distance between him and Vinyl, a relaxing fact for him. Vinyl was however not even panting yet, in difference from the vocalist.

“What's the matter, Silvermane? Getting tuckered out already?!” the unicorn mare shouted as she suddenly closed up on the huffing stallion. Coal grit his teeth, realizing this was going to be a hard nut to crack. He couldn't lose this. Everything was about this stupid scene. Golden Brochure would castrate and then kill him with the bloody testicles by beating him to death. That was a pretty awful image, Coal thought.

But no matter how much he scared himself, the facts were still facts that Vinyl already had passed by him again, snickering all the while just to return the taunt. She kept looking at him over her shoulder while running.

“Hey... hah... look... hah... forward!” he shouted.

“Riiiight! You think I'll fall for that trick?”.

“What trick.. hah... you're running...”.

“Shut up, I won't look forward! Only cool kids can run without loo-”.

In the next moment, Vinyl was run over by a bicycling pony shouting “Two bits!!!”.

Coal shook his head and kept running, ignoring the believes he was racing against a total mule. He kept looking forward and saw the goal: Ponyville's stage. It was a big scene with lots of plain ground just outside the borders of the little town. The stage already had a few ponies walking around it and doing their business with transporting and setting up arrangements, a very much welcoming sight for the vocalist. He spurted with his last energy and leaned forward to assure his victory.

“Mine, mine, mine, mine, MINE!” Coal heard from behind which caused him to glance back. Vinyl came with increasing speed on the bike she had stolen from the pony who ran over her. Coal gasped in shock and turned back to increase his own galloping dramatically.

The stage got closer and closer, unveiling more of the open space where the crowd would be. Question now was exactly which one of them would play before them. Vinyl was precisely next to Coal, pedaling (no pun intended I swear to god) like crazy while her enemy put all his might to the test. Their hating eyes met each other. Their gritting teeth exposed. The mean intentions broke out. Vinyl stood up on the pedals. Coal stretched his legs.

And it was in that mortifying second the steel gray stallion saw Vinyl getting a meter before him. His head was right next to her flank, and then he dropped an additional few inches. Now he was right next to her waving tail flying loosely in the air.

It was at that moment Vinyl almost hit the breaks when she heard a high-pitched scream...

Like shot from a cannon, Coal left Vinyl in a trail of dust behind him as he supercharged towards the scene. The unicorn mare widened her eyes in utter disbelief, slowly halting her progress on the bike until she practically had stopped rolling at all. But then she grimaced in pain when the loud crash occurred.

Coal ran straight into a loudspeaker...

- - - -
“So what's up with your friend Vinyl's hate towards Coal? It seemed to be personal...” Cord asked as he and the others walked in a group towards the stage. None of them wanted to interfere with their friends' plans and thus took it easy along the calm and empty road.

“Well, Vinyl has always been a little edgy about rock in the first place. I assume she dislikes Coal Silvermane just because you are the biggest band in your genre. And the fact you have a very alternative style too... some ponies thinks you are worshipers of Nightmare Moon” Rain Water stated which brought a nod from Lucky Catch and Mayor Mare.

The band sighed and grunted, shaking their heads in disapproval. This wasn't the first time they had heard prejudices and/or rumors. While some of them were about the band's alcohol abuse and were thus perfectly true, most of the other complaints were just about Coal's singing.

“It's just our style. Coal is a really great guy even if he sounds like a growling Ursa when performing” Cord replied which triggered the others to follow.

“It's his way of expressing messages” Wide Beat stated.

“And we all know what he means with his lyrics” Deep Bass said, causing the three others to agree through small mumbles and nods.

“Ponies like to point at us because we stick out, but Coal doesn't give a buck's worth about that. And that's one of the many reasons for why we like him” Stricken ended and high-hoofed the chuckling Deep Bass.

The mares looked at each other smilingly, understanding in a sweep that Vinyl's hatred had to be something silly. But really, they knew her too well to think this was just a game of hers. She had strong radiations of dislike whenever the name Coal Silvermane was mentioned. For a good long while, Vinyl's friends thought she and him had been an item before and broke up during unfair circumstances.

But nope. They hardly knew how each other looked like, and that kind of foalish fighting yesterday was far away from serious deals like old broken relationships. That thought brought out a question from the dark pink unicorn mare Lucky Catch.

“Does your friend Coal have a marefriend, by the way?”.

“Yes, I'd really like to know that too...” Mayor Mare added quickly with a flirty glance at the group of stallions. They all gulped in absolute fear, leaning away from the mature thing who apparently came on to them just a few minutes ago.

Stricken chuckled nervously. “Ehehe... no. And it'd be a great frigging surprise if he had, to be honest”.

That line formed question marks over the mares' heads, surprising the stallions when they saw the red symbols floating in the air. “Hah, yeah the day that happens... poor bastard” Cord put in the conversation which didn't make the females any wiser.

“I pity the foal...” Wide Beat referred, causing the other to either facehoof or chuckle...

- - - -
Several ponies gathered around the crashed speaker which just recently worked perfectly. Somepony was going to be forced to show the stage manager the bill for it.

“Hey... er, you alright?” a gray stage technician asked the unconscious vocalist currently resting on top of a mass of electric scrap in the black box. Another pony brought up a microphone stick and poked the lifeless male body, realizing quickly he wasn't even breathing. The technicians looked at each other.

“Aw, hellnaw. I ain't calling the ambulance”.

“Come on, man. You're the only one with a cell phone”.

“I don't care, I ain't using it”.

“Why no-”.

“Because how the buck do I push the buttons without fi-”.

“HEY!!” Vinyl interrupted as she approached without the bike, which she had ditched, and walked between the arguing ponies. She didn't care about them, but the stallion enjoying the life of having cables in his mouth. “You did NOT win just because you screamed and then ran like a little filly!”.

The ponies in the background backed off to leave some space for the white mare. She grabbed the steel gray stallion and turned him around, discovering that his wide-open mouth was indeed full of electronic scrap. She shook Coal violently for a second to get rid of it, then kept yelling at him in an uncontrollable pace.

“If you had speed-hax you should have used them a long time ago instead of trying to drag me out on some stupid race ending up with me running into a sign and then getting hit by a bicycle which is really weird 'cause I've never seen any of those things before and why the buck aren't you breathing by the way are you so weak you little silly-filly that you can't take the smashes of a loudspeaker oh my frigging Celestia you wrecked a loudspeaker if that was mine I'll beat the crap out of you and then shove a mic pole deep into yo-”.

“Ahem!” the female pony right behind Vinyl coughed with an unimpressed expression. Vinyl cut herself off and looked over her shoulder, still holding onto Coal's shoulders like a doll. “Vinyl Scratch!! What can I help you with?!” she shouted less gently and relaxed.

“I'm the stage manager”.

“Good for you!! Living like a boss!!” Vinyl exclaimed and turned back to shaking the crap out of Coal.

“Yes, yes, oceans of bitches and forests of bits, but that's not the important pa-” the mare had time to say until Vinyl finally registered the title she had used and suddenly dropped Coal dead to the floor.

“Wait, the stage manager? Are you the stage manager? The... the one I'm to meet?” she said in a manner of interest and a growing smile. The turquoise mare rolled her eyes and cleared her throat once more before combing her short cut pink mane. She had already heard the loud unicorn's name and thus knew exactly what kind of business she had with her.

“Yes... yes I am. But you're not the only one I'm supposed to see right now” the manager explained without losing her unchanged expression of annoyance.

Vinyl giggled nervously and kicked away the body behind her, doing her best to hide the fact she just yelled at the only pony who could help her arrange her show. It was all fine and well until she once again was stricken by an epiphany.

“Wait...” she said in shock. “Who's the other one? Isn't my name on the top row on the booking list?”.

The mare glanced away at the stallion she saw getting swooped away. He was still gone and laid completely still on the wooden stage floor. “That's Coal Silvermane, right?” she pointed out with a pointing hoof at him.

Vinyl chuckled and moved over to where the manager could see him.

“Meh, forget about him! He's just a look-alike of Coal, probably some hyper-lethal stalker. You should call security or perhaps a vet to put him down...”.

The turquoise mare raised an eyebrow.

“..... Okay, it's him” Vinyl conceded with embarrassed eyes.

The manager walked past Vinyl and aimed for a small house next to the stage made out of big crates. They were meant to serve as temporary loges for touring bands and offices for their managers. She explained simply for Vinyl to follow her and take Coal with her. Done and done, Vinyl grabbed the stallion's tail and dragged him on the ground all the way to the stacked giant crates.

All the way past dirt, stairs, small rocks and somehow even shattered glass on the ground.

Soon they came to one of the doors leading into the stacked homes. Coal received one last bump from the hard door frame and was then finally relieved from attention. The room was rectangular shaped just like the crate was from the outside and had surprisingly much light coming in from the iron barred windows. The manager pony walked past a bunch of cabinets labeled with all kinds of names, got behind a large desk in the short end of the room and sat down on the conveniently placed chair.

“So...” she began and brought out a cigaret from a small pack on the desk. She lit it and then flickered a document which she had gathered from one of the cabinet drawers earlier. “I presume you're the only one who's attending during your show, miss Vinyl Scratch?”.

“Yep! It's all true!” answered giddily with a proud pout from her chest.

“Heh... you sound like my ex when I asked if he was cheating on me...”.

“Er, wha-”.

“And Coal Silvermane is bringing his band?” she asked before blowing out a cloud of smoke.

Coal was still gone from the world of the livings, giving Vinyl her chance to ruin it further for the band she despised the most.

“Okay, he seem to be passed out and since I need an answer right now... I'll ask you, miss Vinyl. Is his band gathered and ready to sign up for the show?”.

The chance to win it all during fair circumstances. They were both here now and nothing could stop her to walk the last inch towards victory....

“Because I'll believe anything you say right now. If you just say no or anything resembling that, I'll...”

“Yes... they'll be here soon...” Vinyl said with a figurative nail piercing through her heart.

The manager raised an eyebrow as another puff defiled her personal air space. She then nodded and brought out a pen to sign her confirmation on the paper. Vinyl looked down at the steel gray vocalist. It wasn't fun winning this way. Or at least that was what she convinced herself.

Her rock-hard white foreleg rammed down into Coal's chest, pressing the male heart into a state of forced awakening. He gasped out loud and rolled over onto his side, coughing and choking on his own tongue. He looked up at Vinyl from the hard floor, unable to understand what was going on.

“Oh, look... it's alive” she chuckled.

“Good. Then you can do the double gig in time...” the manager mare said and pushed forward the paper on her desk.

Across the majestic space and ancient time, behind the lines of the milky way and inside the solar system, the third planet from the godlike sun, in a land named Equestria, in the small town of Ponyville, inside the rectangular office, right next to each other...

… the eyebrows of the manager pony lowered themselves.

“Whoa-hey-wha...?” Vinyl said in disbelief while Coal froze on the floor. A second later, he was up on all four with angry eyes stuck on the mare.

“What are you talking about? What double gig? The scene is in my contract and I need to sign it or else we'll get sued!” he protested, quickly shoved aside by Vinyl.

“Yeah, but the scene was booked in MY name BEFORE his stupid contract! And that makes it mine, right?”.

“No it doesn't!” Coal said against and rammed his forehead into her side. “Yes it does!” Vinyl countered and stomped his fore hoof.

“No it doesn't, yes it does, no it doesn't yes it...”.

Vinyl and Coal stared in confusion at the mare behind the desk who suddenly continued their arguing. She fell into silence and pushed forward the paper another inch with her hoof. “Ahem! I suppose there has been a misunderstanding here. Allow me to explain:”.

The manager mare inhaled another blow from her cigarette and leaned forward over the desk.

“The stage has been prepared for both of you. And since you're talking to each other like it's a competition, none of you apparently read the parts in italic”.

It was at that moment the two musicians realized none of them actually HAD read the contract. Vinyl's friend had done it all for her and Coal's manager had taken care of it for him.

“There is no 'competition' here, guys. You are both contracted to play a double gig, meaning you are both to play on the same day... but I don't know what the holder wants...”.

Coal slammed a fore hoof on the desk in rage, tightly followed by Vinyl who did the same.

“Who is the bucking contract holder?!” they shouted at the same time and for once ignored it.

The manager mare looked at the two ponies for a short second before glancing down on the paper covered in ink. She hinted at the sign in the corner. Vinyl and Coal both threw themselves over the paper, hastily reading through the entire thing until they ended up on the name written beautifully in blue ink.

They tilted their heads sideways in confusion when the name unveiled itself to them. Coal dropped his jaw an inch and Vinyl cocked an eyebrow one equal inch.

“Who the heck is Twilight Sparkle...?” Vinyl asked.

To be continued...

Author's Note:
My update pace is getting more and more stressed. I'm gonna make this note very short, because I won't have much more time writing now. I'll just remind you all this story won't end... I'm just having serious problems holding my personal deadline.

Brohoof on ya all!

Idiots of Celestia's mod

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* Important announcement! *
* Read the author's note after concluding this chapter! *

Previously: just when everything seemed to finally get settles with the winner getting his/her crown, Vinyl and Coal learns they are forced to play together for the upcoming show. And the contract is signed in nopony's name but Twilight Sparkle....


Part 9: Idiots of Celestia's mod

The gentle tunes from an acoustic guitar filled the air over Ponyville Stage. A single stallion sitting on the edge of the stage with his trusty instrument. An instrument he had been playing for many years, the instrument he had used to survive the daily needs of food. He scratched his bristly beard and began the next song.

Nopony knows what it's like
to be the bad pony
to be the sad pony
Behind blu-

The pony stopped abruptly as a small radio crashed into his head in high velocity and knocked him out.

Vinyl stood a few meters away, posing on like she just had tossed something away. Coal walked up behind her and sighed, giving the downed, bristly bearded pony a glance. His own appearance was of the gloomy kind, his voice agreed.

“Awww..... he was playing my favorite crying song...” the steel gray stallion said with an empty stare out in the thin air.

“Limb Biscuit is an androgenic traitor to music. You can't combine rap with rock” Vinyl said sternly, looking forward with an equal empty look like the audience to Whitney Horseton's last concert.

“Oh....” Coal answered weakly and sat down, soon accompanied by Vinyl.

The two musicians sat there, staring silently at absolutely nothing aside from the tumbleweed passing by from nowhere in front of them. Vinyl and Coal still did their best to melt the fact they were forced to cooperate. It said so in the contract, clear as day. They were to work together, plan the stage, plan the musical anthems and coordinate how everything would play out in the end. None of them liked the idea, but they were both professionals within their areas. Surely they could put aside their differences for the sake of their future...

… Yeah, not even I believe that.

Coal twitched an eye and nearly turned his head towards the white unicorn. “What are we going to do?”.

“I don't know.... buck off and go to Las Pegasi?” she replied coldly without the slightest trace of an ardor.

“You're not very bright.... are you...?”.

“No... my parents dropped me down the stairs when I was a foal”.

“You and me both”.


Coal blinked.

“You and me both...” he then said.

- - - -
The two gangs finally reached the stage of Ponyville. While Coal's band members hoped deeply their leader had caught the scene so their band could live on, Vinyl's friends and relative trusted their girl wouldn't fail this chance to get the performance of her dreams. They were designated by a nurse carrying her side of a patient stretcher that she had seen two ponies in the near vicinity where they found this bristly bearded stallion with a serious concussion. Sunny Days confirmed instantly that had to be a work of Vinyl.

Rain Water called from a distance for the others to come over. She had found them... sort of.

They were all shocked by the two ponies they all knew way too well to do anything intentionally degrading to themselves. Still, they found Coal laying on his side in a fetal position and stroking his tail, while Vinyl rocked back and forth and sucked on her fore hoof.

The guitarists held back their overwhelming chuckles, knowing that probably would lead to their very quick demise. Sunny Days walked up to his unicorn friend and waved a hoof before her eyes. She didn't respond. Neither did Coal when his friends tried to poke him. They all looked at each other and shrugged, unable to understand the problem. Before any of them could ask questions, the same mare Vinyl and Coal had talked to came up to them. She merely looked at all the ponies and then brought up a document from her nearly invisible saddlebag.

“Forgot to give you a copy of the contract you signed. Have a good day now” she said and walked away after the piece of paper landed in front of the lead guitarist Cord Screech.

He picked up the ducment with his unicorn magic, levitating it in front of him and thus causing the others to gather around so they could read. After several seconds of silent reading, most of the readers tilted their heads back in confusion, especially the mature Mayor Mare.

“What in the... Twilight Sparkle? Our winter wrap-up organizer?” she said in surprise.

“You... know her?” the dark pink unicorn Lucky Catch asked, triggering the mayor to explain herself about this very special unicorn. Meanwhile, Stricken walked back to the vocalist stallion and sat down. He was fully aware of the problem now. Not much could bring him back to the world of the mentally healthy ponies. Cord and Wide Beat joined him, consulting with each other if a dozen of kicks in the crotch could help him.

“No... no amount of crotch-kicks in the world can help him...” Stricken stated sadly, not bringing any brighter ideas to the ponies preparing their boots with steel caps. The boots were thrown away and they all sat down to think.

Vinyl's friends rubbed their chins, thinking even harder and considering every available option they had. There were many, of course. But which one wold serve best? Was it the fact Vinyl could sleep with this Twilight Sparkle or that she also was a unicorn which meant they had more in common than other ponies? No, that was just racism...

In the end, Cord Screech and Sunny Days both summoned a bright light bulb above their heads, frightening everypony around due to the sudden light. “How the hay do you guys do that?!” Rain Water exclaimed.

The two stallions leaned into each respective friend's ear and whispered.

The eyes of the two musicians widened as both hearts stopped for a minute. Their minds blew out all the cold in their bodies and a sudden fire engulfed them both.

Cord Screech received a strong punch in the face and crashed into Stricken, sending the pervert flying into a nearby fruit cart which exploded upon impact. Sunny days, however, received a merciless uppercut and flew up in the air. As the two obstacles were gone, Coal and Vinyl stood up on their hindlegs, pumped their chests with air and charged away in lightning speed.

Mayor Mare and the remaining ponies froze on their spots, looking either at the dust clouds leaving them or the other scene right behind them. Rain Water poked the mature mare on the shoulder, signaling for her to look over her shoulder. When she did, crimson covered her cheeks beneath the widened eyes.

Sunny Days opened his eyes slowly. The impact hurt his body as much as he had anticipated, aside from most of his torso. And that was the most curios part until the blur in his eyes disappeared. The dark green muzzle surprised him with blushes too, especially when he saw how close his mouth was from the other stallion's.

He had landed on Cord Screech... with spread hindlegs.

“Uhm.... hi...” the unicorn laying on his back said nervously. “Get off.... will ya?”.

“Ehh, yeah! Sorry” the orange earth pony apologized and got up on all four, helping the guitarist with an extended fore hoof. He accepted it and got up, only not expecting the other male to brush off the dust from his mane. They both chuckled lightly and cleared their throats afterward, trying their best to avoid the gleeful and predatory looks from the mares just a few hooves away.

Meanwhile over at the burning remains of the fruit cart, Stricken crawled out with third degree burns and glared at the two males in their awkward moment...

- - - -
After running over countless of flowers, knocking aside dozens of old ponies, crashing through tens of barrels, breaking inside a few homes and completely annihilating the most action-filled chess game of the century between Equestria's greatest minds, Vinyl suddenly told Coal to wait up. He didn't want to obey her first, but he knew the next sinister joke wasn't even close to this part of the story.

“Do you have any idea where Twilight Sparkle lives?” she asked, instantly responded by a proud grimace from Coal.

“Indeed I do. I heard, in my semi-paralyzed moment of self-pitying, that she lives in the Ponyville library near the center of town”.

“Is it a big tree with a candle light painted on the door?”.


Vinyl looked over her shoulder. There was a big, hollowed-out tree with a light candle painted on the door and a sign right next to it with the image of a book. “Like that library?”.

Coal studied the tree for a moment, scratching his chin and pictured the ideal image of how a library looked like. He couldn't find any image. Only a bunch of four-oh-four.

“And besides... are we having some sort of... temporary truce right now?” Vinyl asked with a cocked eyebrow. Coal scratched his neck and rolled his eyes, seeming uncomfortable with the subject in mind. “Yeah, I... suppose so” he said reluctantly and shrugged.

“Uhu. Well, now when we have that sorted out, let's return to the question if you know how it looks like?”.

“I've never been to a library before. I don't even know what they do there...” he stated.

“I've been at a library once, before they kicked me out for constantly flirting with the librarian, and they rent out books which you have to give back later. And it's for free, I think”.

“For free? Doesn't ponies... like, keep the books forever then?”.

“Of course they do! I mean, free books. Come on. It's free...”.

“Why are we talking about this?”.

“Dunno. The writer is probably trying to fill out the word count so he can feel good about himself”.

“Hah! What an uncreative dork. Bet he writes porn too”.

“Yeah! Hehe. Probably about ponies raping each other”.

“Ahahahaa! Y-yeah! And... haha... a-and about pregnant ponies getting their unborn foal eaten”.

“He probably gets off to it too!”.

After this proper, and not to mention permanent castration of an author, they fell to the ground and kept laughing out loud for another minute.

“O-okay! We... we-haha.... I think we have to go now... hehe” Vinyl said and got up on her unstable legs, wiping a tear from her eyes while Coal cleared his throat. In an instant, they turned on their killer-faces and galloped with full power towards the library entrance. The distance grew short and soon they both jumped up in unison, stretching forward a hindleg in their high velocity about to meet the door. Their facial muscles tensed as they both prepared for the impact...

The door opened slowly, letting Coal and Vinyl inside before they closed it.

“Hello? Anypony ho-”.

Coal and Vinyl widened their eyes in shock when they saw a purple unicorn mare dressed in a black robe reading a book in front of a red pentagram on the floor. Several candles burned around the big sign which now opened a vortex, summoning a giant monster with the head of a squid. But when the monster was about to step out from the dark vortex, the robed unicorn looked over her shoulder and saw the two dumbfound ponies staring at her work.

“Oh pony-feathers!”.

The magic stopped flowing from her horn and the squid-like monster disappeared back in the shutting hole. All the candle light died with the heavy atmosphere in the same moment the unicorn mare threw away her book and black robe.

“Oh, hi there! I thought I had locked the door. He he, simple mistake” the mare chuckled nervously and walked up to her frozen visitors.

“What in the name of Discord was that...?” Coal asked without resting his widened eyes.

“Wha... that thing? Oh, It was just a monster of over-divine measures which I had summoned just so it could do things to me I'd never forget and probably also regret for the rest of my life. I have this weird fetish for divine beings and... tell me if you have seen this spell before” she said and put on a pair of black shades right before emitting a strong flash from her horn.

The two visitors' foreheads lit up together with their eyes. They blinked once, then twice. Suddenly they could only remember opening the door to the library...

“My name is Twilight Sparkle. What can I do for you?” the mare introduced herself and put away her sunglasses.

Vinyl shook her head and brushed her mane, recalling her reasons for being here. She looked around in the library, wondering why there were so many candles.

“We... uh... right! Are you Twilight Sparkle? The pony who holds the contract that I'm to play with...” she had time to ask until Twilight cut her off in awe.

“Oh my gosh! Are you Vinyl Scratch? Then you must be Coal Silvermane?” she asked and looked at the musicians with excitement building up in her eyes. The ponies glanced at each other awkwardly.

“I... yes. And we want to know why...” Coal tried to say, also cut off by the unicorn when she ran away to a door inside the library's main room. After walking inside, they heard a male voice screaming horribly about 'not wanting to get sacrificed' until a bright flash emitted from the room, then it was just silent. When Twilight came out again, she had a purple baby dragon wrapped up in chains on her back. She ditched him on the floor and dispelled the chains so he could move freely.

“Twilight... wha... what happened?” he asked and rubbed his eyes, behaving like he just had woke up.

“Never mind that, Spike. Just take a note!” Twilight commanded and tossed a parchment and quill in his face. He grumbled annoyingly but still put still prepared to take the mentioned note. The lavender mare walked up to the confused ponies and straightened her back proudly.

“Dear princess Celestia. I'm sending you this letter to confirm that the musicians have arrived to Ponyville. Thanks for your help with the contract and I'll see you at the concert. That'd be all, Spike”.

Coal arched his eyebrows in anger. “Wait, what? Help? From princess Celestia? Who the freaking hay are you?” he asked while the young dragon rolled up the parchment and incinerated it into a green breeze of magic out through a window. Twilight giggled at the question and put a foreleg over her chest in a proud manner.

“I'm Twilight Sparkle: #1 student of princess Celestia herself, wielder of the element of magic, savior of Equestria... twice, unlicensed shrink, your friendly neighborhood egghead, nemesis of the great and powerful Trixie, favorite shipping-victim among fan-fiction writers, president of the local D&D club and I know what happens if you put a quantum harmonizer in your photonic resonation chamber”.

“Yeah? Up yours too, buddy!” Coal said, immediately slapped across the cheek by the white unicorn next to him.

“Okay... but can you explain why you're doing this to us? How did you get us both in the same contract when I booked the scene before any of this?” Vinyl asked in an annoyed tone, showing her great displease. Twilight sighed with rolling eyes and snatched her baby dragon with magic, placing him neatly on her back. She then proceeded towards the exit of the library.

She looked over her shoulder while opening the door. “Come with me and I'll explain on...”.

- - - -
After a few minutes, Coal and Vinyl had followed Twilight to a confectionery in the midst of Ponyville. The store was decorated to look like it was covered in gingerbread and icing, impressive to the earth pony stallion but nothing new to the unicorn mare. They followed their guide inside the store and were surprisingly greeted by a number of mares in different colors and races.

A pink pony jumped up to the musicians and introduces her as Pinkie Pie among the many other things she said and cheered over while bouncing around, sneezing confetti and farting out balloons. This time it was Coal who felt used to this, minding all the hyped groupies he have to deal with every now and then. Yes... including pressing out unexpected things from unexpected orifices.

After that there was a rainbow-maned pegasus in a blue coat, who Vinyl could have sworn threw a flirtatious wink at her. She introduced herself as Rainbow Dash, something Coal wanted to snort in laughter at when he thought about that time he was at a pride festival.

The other white unicorn dressed in a curly mane stunned both of the ponies as she appeared, properly introducing herself as Rarity. Coal wondered where all the glitter around her came from and why the little dragon riding on Twilight's back looked like a dog during his first mating cycle.

After that there was an orange mare with the thickest accent any of them ever had heard, a farmer known as Applejack with a sweet Stetson on her head. Vinyl and Coal shared the same thought: she HAD to be a fillyfooler.

“And now... allow me to introduce you to your BIGGEST fan, Coal Silvermane” Twilight said and stepped aside, revealing a yellow pegasus hiding her face behind her wings and pink mane.

Coal raised an eyebrow, believing he just had been insulted when he saw the nervous thing trembling behind her wings. He couldn't say anything since Twilight decided to take words again.

“These are all my friends, and we have worked together to get you here! Now let me explain...”

To be continued...

Author's Note:
I'm not going to write about the chapter this time. In fact, I have a special announcement to make!

Christmas is coming (puts a gun to my crying face)! And I've decided to make a special one-shot JUST for you guys! And yes, it's clop, before you ask. And it's going to be anthropomorphic characters too!!! Thing is... I want to write what YOU want to read, and thus I'm throwing out the poll again for all of you!

Here are the things you need to know:
1. All characters will be anthropomorphic (animals with human features).
2. It HAS to be characters from the mlp: fim universe. In other words NO CROSSOVERS!
3. You're allowed to wish for anything EXCEPT for your own OC to be in it.
4. December 17 is the last day you can send in your wish.
5. You can post a comment or send your wish to my e-mail:
master_losser @

That should cover everything. So remember! December 17 is the last day you can send a wish for your favorite pairing in an anthro clop-fic. Happy holidays, according to political correctness, and...

Brohoof on ya all!

Better laid than never

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Previously: wait, are we back doing this? What has it been, half a year or so since the last chapter? Uh-oh, better get the script! Where is it, somewhere around here, uhm... maybe beneath my coffee plate... nope. The drawer... uuh, no. Then where the he- oh here it is! Just gonna blow of the dust, and here we are! Ahem! Coal and Vinyl has recently learned that they are to cooperate for the coming show, and they have finally found out who the contract holder was: Twilight Sparkle. She introduced the musicians to her friends, and they are now about to find out what this is all about...

Part 10: better laid than never

“I swear to Celestia it feels like we've been standing here for months...” Vinyl said before she glanced at the camera and widened her eyes. “Uh, I mean... so what's this all about, Twilight Sparkle?”.

The lavender unicorn giggled as she trotted over to her friends. “I understand this must have been a very confusing for the both of you, but it all began a few months back...”.

Coal and Vinyl were introduced to the truth. It was when Fluttershy came out with her interest for the death metal band Mane Death. After weeks of therapy that was heavily insisted by all of her friends after that announcement, everypony settled down when Rainbow Dash announced that she enjoyed dubstep. The reaction to that was considerably much easier to deal with, many sunglasses were applied to many ponies faces that moment, and even less gave half a crap about it. After a few weeks of constant begging, nagging, bribing and threatening, Twilight had agreed to use her influence with Celestia in getting both the artists to come to Ponyville. The deal was easier done than said, ironically. All Twilight had to sacrifice was her signature on a restraining order that prohibited her from being any closer than one hundred hooves from the royal castle. Twilight found it interesting, this sick game her mentor played with her. She just giggled and promised she'd be back for more studies next week, a promise that allowed the royal guards to openly use brutal force on any intruder in Canterlot...

“And then it was easy as pie! You were both coming to Ponyville and are now going to play your concerts for our entertainment!” Twilight finished with a glee. Vinyl and Coal leaned away from her, feeling more uncomfortable than ever in the presence of this nerd.

“Yeah... he he, an' there's just one thing ah'd like ta ask of ya'll...” Applejack said as he walked past Twilight. “Ah heard ya'll both are these... loud musicians and such. Could ya jus'... make sure ya'll don't play too loud? The apple orchard of this town ain't that far away, an' is it true that ya sometimes cause earthquakes when playing?”.

“Well, you could say we are musicians of a 'high magnitude'” Coal answered and was instantly rewarded with a slap over the head from Vinyl.

“We can assure you that it won't happen this time, Applejack” she said in a comforting tone, resisting the urge to hit Coal again but this time even harder. Bu the singer ha already regretted his decision and was as a matter of fact already focusing on something else. He had realized that the yellow pegasus in the corner of the room hadn't dropped her eyes from him even once since he first noticed her. It was a little bit creepy, but still manageable. This hadn't been the first time somepony was watching him with big, scared eyes.

“Fluttershy! Come on, say hi to your idol!” Rainbow Dash said and dragged the shy thing from its corner and pushed it up to Coal. She looked like she was about to explode due to her bashfulness and bleed to death through the blushes on her cheeks. For some reason, she seemed to be able handling it. After a few, shaky seconds, she got up on her hindlegs and looked into Coal's eyes.

“H-hi...” she whispered with half her muzzle hiding behind her pink mane. Coal chuckled, understanding this was most likely one of those fans who hadn't developed a blood thirst for her idol, thus unable to try cause serious damage to him. “Hello, girl” he responded, experiencing in the next second how it felt to see a big fan slide straight into a wall due to nervousness.

“Ooh! She's so nervouxited!”.

“Pinkie, I swear to Discord I will promptly slap you Canterlot style if you ever use that word again...” Rarity said sternly with merely a look at the pink pony.

The talking went on with Vinyl getting to know Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and the others a little better. In the meantime, Coal was frozen out from the group. Clearly he wasn't the main attraction here, minding that Vinyl had an easier time bonding with the mares. Little did he know that many of the things they talked about in the midst of the blabber was him and Vinyl's relationship. In the middle of the talking, nopony noticed when Coal suddenly had a bag over his head and disappeared through the door...

- - - -
It had been a wonderful dream where everypony was listening to death metal. Dubstep had literally become a crime and everypony was allowed to hate and kill any who dared practice it. Coal's smile was side and lovely, not afraid of anything and so strong that you could feel tight ropes around your body.

It was at that moment Coal woke up to find out he was tied down in a bed with thick ropes around all four of his legs.

“Huh. Haven't been this 'roped up' in trouble before...” he said and looked around in the dark room. “Why isn't anypony slapping me?”.

A door opened right before a switch was turned on, illuminating the entire room in an instant. Coal found out equally fast that he was actually in a bedroom on the second floor of a cozy house. And the pony who turned on the light was nopony else than Fluttershy. “He-hey, you again! Fluttershy, right?” he asked the pegasus mare. She nodded and walked carefully up to the bed where her tied victim rested. “Okay, cool. You know what, if this is for a ransom, I can tell you that my manager hates me and would actually demand that YOU pay HER and...”.

“Oh! Uhm, this is not what it looks like” Fluttershy interrupted and loosened the ropes around Cola's limbs with her wings and mouth. Once he was freed, she got up in the bed and sat right in front of her idol. “I just... kind of freaked out, I guess. I-it happens whenever I am alone for too long or... w-when somepony asks me out” she explained and hung her head, smiling discreetly.

Coal raised an eyebrow at the pegasus, not feeling very enlightened. He was still unaware of why he was here, ponynapped and everything.

“But... b-but I just... oh I'm so sorry for this” Fluttershy apologized and laid her fore hooves on Coal's. “I just wanted a lone moment with you. I'm just so... nervous, I never saw this coming, but now when you are here... it feels like one of my biggest dreams have come true!”,

Coal flickered his eyebrows, scratching his neck as the cuteness radiating from the mare took him by surprise. His eyes shifted into every corner possible before he himself had to find courage to use the correct words. One question was digging deep in his head at the moment.

“That is... heh, nice to hear, miss Fluttershy”.

“Oh please, just call me Fluttershy”.

“... Okay. But I just wanted to ask you... I don't mean to be rude, but how come you're so into our music. You don't look any like any of my other fans. You lack wacky hair, tattoos, piercings, leather jackets, concealed knives... you know what I mean?”.

Fluttershy explained to him that she was in fact not very fond of rock music in general. However, she one day found a record with Mane Death and a note with lyrics to every song. She was extraordinarily frightened by the demonic sounds at first when playing the CD, but soon learned to read the lyrics at the same time Coal sang the words. Song by song, she slowly got more and more into it. The words written into song were much deeper that she had expected. The messages and meanings were beautiful and really spoke to her. In the end, she decided to find more from the creators and thus became a fan of Mane Death. Sadly, she was forced to listen with headphones since the music not so surprisingly drove the animals around her into insanity.

Before Coal knew it, he had been so captivated by the mares tale that he hadn't noticed she was now sitting right next to him, really close too for that matter.

“My favorite track is... is 'Stalking You In My Dreams', i-it has been a great inspiration to me”.

“Really? That's like... one of our most criticized songs ever made. Ponies blamed us for some psychopathic murderer who went loose in Germaney just because it was proven he had listened to a lot of our music. They totally forgot that the maniac also was addicted to various drugs and born with a mental disorder. Aw heck no, it just HAD to be the music's fault” Coal frowned and crossed his forelegs. He felt comfortable enough to lay down in the bed, resting his head on the soft pillow and watching the mare who still sat up.

“What? B-but that song is about finding your true love but getting rejected by it. A-and that you have to deal with it and accept he or she isn't the only one! Th-that song helped me through so much whenever I thought I was in love with somepony!” Fluttershy defended, looking awfully upset from what her idol just said.

Coal chuckled. “You understood that? Colt, you're a really bright pon-” he was trying to say but was severely cut off by a poster and a pen shoved into his face.

“C-c-c-could I g-g-g-get yo-yo-your autograph?!” Fluttershy stuttered with a wide grin. Coal couldn't be angry at her, instead he grabbed the poster of himself and put the pen in his mouth. He glanced at the tensed mare sitting with her fore hooves put together beneath the cute face of hers as he signed his name beneath his jaw. It was a poster of him posing for their second album, when he was wearing his old leather jacket that got burned a few weeks later during an accident with the technical equipment. He calmed the audience by saying that the jacket caught fire due to his 'burning' passion for music. A few seconds later he was laying on the scene, knocked out after getting hit by thousands of empty beer cans in the head. It was one of his bests concerts ever.

“Here you go, beautiful” he complimented her as he hoofed back the signed poster. Fluttershy's face instantly turned red, she fumbled with the poster and nibbled on her lower lip. “Th... th... thank you” she whispered and put aside the objects in her hooves. “I'm... I'm your biggest fan”.

“He he, I've heard lots of ponies say that. Don't worry, I love you all equally no matter how big or small you are”.

“Uhm... no, I really mean it” she said and pointed up at her ceiling. Coal glanced at first, then widened his eyes and slowly tilted his head up.

Posters and paper clips covered the spot on the ceiling above the bed. Drawn pictures were next to them, accompanied by lyrics from different songs and even some photos that looked like him sleeping. Coal then looked around again in the room, discovering a jar with a piece of hair that was black as his own, more photos and even a bust of him covered in red lipstick standing right next to the bed.

While he was watching all the creepy decorations, a click resembling that of a door getting locked echoed from where Fluttershy stood. She turned around slowly, grinning widely with wide eyes...

- - - -
Meanwhile back at a cafe not far from the town hall, the two groups of friends sat together under a big umbrella, enjoying the cool shadow and comfortable tree stumps they sat on. The mayor had however been forced to go back to her office, claiming there was a form of investigation about a attempted murderer on her secretary. By then, Vinyl's friends had happily went deeper into the subject about Coal.

“VIRGIN?!” Lucky Catch yelled from her seat. Wide Beat, Cord Screech, Stricken and Deep Bass all chuckled in unison. The truth was obvious to them, and they didn't bother keeping it a secret about their friend's lack of sexual knowledge on the field.

“Yup! No experience in how to please a mare or a stallion. He doesn't even know his own sexual orientation, the poor thing” Deep Bass said and took a sip from his straw.

“B-but don't you have a horde of groupies? It's written in nearly every issue of all music magazines about your sexual innuendos...” Rain Water implied, equally shocked to hear the fact about Coal. Stricken raised a hoof and smiled in a silly manner.

“Ahem, I'm guilty of that. If there's a mare or stallion who wants us, it's usually me who takes the credit for dealing with them... in my own way” he hinted with a blink at the two mares. The other band members sighed and leaned away, fully aware that this was Stricken's moment to shine with all his sick and twisted knowledge. Strangely to the other stallions, Lucky Catch, Rain Water and Sunny Days leaned forward, ready to eagerly hear every word the perverted stallion had to say...

- - - -
“Uh... Fluttershy?” Coal asked with a nervous tone as the mentioned mare slowly walked over to a CD-player standing on a small table. She pressed play and let the music have its way in the room. A soft guitar was introducing itself right before the loud drums started to play. Coal recognized the song. It was a song by HURT, an alternative metal band run by a single instrumental stallion. Sadly, this song was called 'Bitch' and was about hardcore bdsm sex.

Maybe I should have realized this from the start, Coal thought and turned his eyes to the window that was covered by a thick blind.

“Uhm... mister Coal?” the shy thing asked, catching Coal's attention in a whim. However, he didn’t like what he was seeing. He had been so captivated that he completely missed when Fluttershy brought out a red ball gag and kept it clenched in her wing. In the next moment, she brought out a whip that she had been hiding under the bed and gently laid it next to Coal. His wide eyes spoke of paralyzing terror. He was free to move, yet he couldn't move a muscle due to the overwhelming feelings in his mind. Fluttershy looked at him every now and then, making sure everything she did was alright as she dressed up in her favorite socks that squeezed her thighs so gently...

- - - -
“We of the Mane Death are all a bunch of healthy stallions who won't turn down a mare (or stallion) in need. All of us have gotten laid with dozens of crazy ponies during our concerts and tours across Equestria. However, Coal is the only one who willingly avoids our groupies. We've never made fun out of him for it, because we know what troubles him...” Stricken explained professionally like this was his meaning in life. The other stallions knew that this was one of the very few moments he could be serious for more than a few seconds without saying anything unnecessary.

“We've known him most of our life, and if there's something we know, Coal has never ever slept with any of our groupies. He hasn't even had a special somepony...”.

“No offense, but is it because he's... ahem, impotent?” Sunny asked. If it hadn't been for the context, the band members would have beaten him up in normal case. But this was not a time of war. Stricken sighed with a depressed expression on his face.

“No... it's worse than that”.

- - - -
“Fluttershy, I understand what you want, bu-”.

“Oh, please, Coal Silvermane! I know you're into some really crazy shit, but... b-but I can enjoy that too!” Fluttershy cried desperately as she put on the red ball gag in her mouth and tried to climb up on the terrified stallion. He had struggled to get rid of her ever since she suddenly jumped over him and forced kisses on his cheeks. She had taken his resistance as a sign that he wanted her to put on the gag, and now it was on.

“What the pony-hell are you talking about?! I ain't in to that shit! That's only for ponies with a serious fetish for spanking bulls or something!”.

Fluttershy stopped struggling and sighed in relief. She then took off the ball gag and tossed it away. “Phew, I'm glad you said that. I'm usually not into it either. B-but I do actually enjoy getting whipped, if you'd like that?”.




“With the mouth?”.


“In the... you know, other ho-?”.




- - - -
“Coal suffers from a rare and very, very unfortunate mental disease. I can honestly not imagine a worse punishment, minding that he actually don't mind beautiful mares. He doesn't talk much about it, but we all believe it's a trauma caused by his parents in a early phase of his childhood” Stricken continued, grasping his audience in a thicker and thicker suspense for each passing word.

Sunny Days caught a clue, thus tilted his head up with a scared expression “You don't mean..?”.

- - - -
The music was playing loud, screaming lyrics about chains, whips, drinking things and obeying orders like a dog.

“I beg you, Fluttershy! I'm not into any of that! Just let m-”.

“I'm not either! I'm so glad I brought you here, Coal! Please, make love with me! L-look, I'm really ready! Just look between my...”.

In that heartbeat of a moment, Coal's eyes widened and his pupils shrank into microscopic sizes. His blood stopped flowing, his heart nearly died, and time itself must have stopped when his sight landed between Fluttershy's spread hindlegs. A petrified act of instinct tore his world apart as the howling voice in is head brought back the things he couldn't deal with. The sunglasses fell of his self-esteem...

- - - -
“He suffers from Genophobia. Also known as Erotophobia. Seeing another pony's private parts or believing he's going to get laid is just like threatening to kill him. He gets so scared he loses it and goes on a rampage to escape it”.

The others stared at Stricken with wide eyes and hanging jaws.

“Basically... he's afraid of sex”.

- - - -

Coal cried at the top of his lungs and threw off Fluttershy in his horrified state. The high pitch resembling a filly's voice echoed down to the lower floor and out over the entire cottage. Birds from the Everfree forest fled from the tree crowns together with the ones from Fluttershy's house. The mare herself was lying on the floor, covering her ears unless she wanted them to start bleeding. Everything flashed by Coal's head as he charged towards the window.

“You slept with my wife! YAAAAHHH!” he yelled and crashed through the blinded window, landing on the ground with his neck first in a rain of glass shards. He got up on his legs and ran to the hills, moving in the speed of a crazy train as he headed for what he hoped was the way back to Ponyville. The only thing he could think about now was the thriller he just escaped, his blood was rushing so fast you'd think he was shot through the heart, and now he felt like thunderstruck due to exhaustion. He had failed to find his friends, his last resort. And those bushes with thorns he ran through earlier had really cut him deep. His friends would most likely find him in the outskirts of Ponyville soon and take him to a hospital. So basically, he could only wait and bleed...

- - - -
Stricken put down his milkshake in front of the stunned mares and stallion. Like nothing just had happened, he rubbed his hooves together and looked at the small audience.

“So who wants some chop suey?”.

To be continued