Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna

by Bigwig6666

Four - State Your Name, Rank And Intention

"And this is the kitchen," Luna said as they reached the large kitchen.

Lulu looked around in awe. "Wow. It's big," she murmured.

Luna nodded. "Mhm. Come. We are about to reach my favourite part," she giggled and beckoned Lulu over to a shelf. A shelf, lined with goodies.

"Ooooh," Lulu giggled as Luna removed the lid to a large jar and reached into it.

Luna scrunched her face up as she felt around for whatever treat she was looking for. "Aha," she said. "Here they are," she chuckled as she drew out a packet of cookies.

Lulu's jaw dropped. "Seriously? Cookies exist in Equestria?" she asked and took some after Luna wiggled the packet in front of her.

"Of course. What, did you think we only eat hay and plants?" Luna asked and frowned.

"Well..." Lulu scratched her head. "Sort of. Cookies just aren't your typical pony food," she admitted.

Luna sighed. "Well, we're not meant to eat these. Especially not me, Tia's got me on a diet. But I figure I'm showing my best friend around, so we'll have some cookies while we're at it," she giggled and took her own cookies, then put the packet back and closed the lid.

They giggled for a bit and munched on their stolen snacks, when they were silenced by a grumbling voice.

"Shhh," Luna whispered and stifled another giggle.

Lulu nodded and clamped her hands over her mouth and watched to see what the princess was up to. "Is he singing?" she whispered.

Luna nodded and slipped into the shadows, where she waited for the owner of the voice, the chef no less, to come into view.

"Oh, oobee doo... shooby do. I wanna walk like you, talk like you too-oo-oo-" he stopped when he saw the lid of the cookie jar at an angle. "Who's there?" he called out, suddenly very afraid somepony had heard his singing. "I'll get Princess Celestia on you!" he warned.

Luna moved in the shadows and grinned.

The chef started back. "State your name rank and intention!" he demanded and regained his composer at somepony stealing into his kitchen.

Luna stepped into the light. "Princess Luna. Princess..." she paused and rubbed her chin. "Fun." she grinned like a madpony.

The chef's knees buckled and he collapsed to the floor and grovelled. "Oh s-s-sorry pp-princess, I swear I d-d-didn't know it w-w-was you!" he wailed at her hooves.

Luna looked at him with a bemused expression and started laughing.

Lulu emerged from the shadows and her hiding spot and scowled at Luna. "That wasn't very nice. It was hilarious. But still a bit mean," she said.

Luna's face fell and nodded. "Mr Floop," she addressed the chef, who was staring at Lulu.

He snapped back to attention and bowed at the princess again. "Yes, miss?"

"I apologise for scaring you like that. And for stealing the cookies."

His face flared up and hopped up and down. "So you did steal the cookies," he jokingly growled.

Luna nodded and grinned again. "Yes. And might I add, they were delicious as per usual. Oh excuse me, I don't believe the two of you have met," she turned to Lulu. "Lulu, this is Mr Candy Floop. He's the head chef here. Mr Floop, this is Lulu. She's a friend of mine," she said proudly. "And a human, from Earth."

Mr Floop visibly let out a sigh of relief as the alien watched him. He bowed respectively, "Pleasure m'lady," he said and kissed Lulu's hand like a gentlecolt.

Lulu giggled and curtseyed. "Pleasure is all mine, Mr Floop."

Neither of them notice Luna's face turn green with envy. "Yes, well. We should get moving Lulu, if you still want to that is. Or perhaps I should send an order out for you two to get a room together?"

Lulu turned scarlet, as did the chef. "Yes, let's. Been nice meeting you, Mr Floop."

He smiled and nodded as they turned to go.

"Where now?" asked Lulu.

"Hmmm... this way. The gardens." Luna said after a while contemplating where they should go next. "So that's the rec room, the throne room, the kitchen... and now the gardens. Almost done." she smiled.

Lulu hurried to catch up to her. "How much is left?"

"You'll see," Luna chuckled as they trotted along.

***

They reached the gardens and the large, see-through doors swung open as two guards trotted inside and held the door open for the ladies.

"Thank you, kind sirs," Luna chuckled and bowed.

They turned slightly pale and their knees buckled as they smiled and blushed.

Luna sighed and trotted past them, Lulu following suite and nodding to the guards politely. They stared after the human and tilted their heads slightly.

"You alright, Luna?" Lulu asked and put a hand on her friend's wing.

"Mhm," Luna grunted.

Lulu sighed and removed her hand. "When she's ready. She'll talk," she thought and followed the princess through the gardens.

"And that's Victory. She was a fine mare in her time," Luna said as they stopped in front of a statue.

The human gazed up at said statue. "She looks beautiful. What did she do?"

"She led a revolt against Celestia and I."

"Oh, that sounds- wait what?" Lulu gaped at the princess. "She led a revolt against you two?"

Luna nodded, keeping her eyes fixed on the statue. "Shortly after Celestia and I first came into power, many ponies saw a chance for a dispute. Victory led one under false pretences. You know our nephew, Blueblood?"

The human nodded. "Yeah. Lieutenant bastard Blueblood. I know of him."

The princess chuckled. "Haven't heard that title before. Yes, our beloved nephew. He is descendant from Victory. He claims royalty, yet he and everypony in his family, knows that he is descended from a line of traitors."

"So, if you don't mind me asking, why is there a statue of her here?"

"Statue?"

Lulu gaped, suddenly quite fearful of the statue and it's unblinking eyes. Her unblinking eyes. "Oh, that's... oh..."

"It is an uncomfortable subject, I understand if you wish to move on," Luna said, nudging her friend's arm.

The human shivered. "Yeah, just... oh..."

They set off once more, leaving the gardens and the rather morbid statue on her own.

***

"So where are we going now?" Lulu asked as they trotted along to whatever surprise Luna had in store for her.

"You'll see," the pony giggled and pushed open a large pair of ebony doors. "This way," she said and led the two of them down a dark corridor.

Lulu began to feel uneasy as the light grew dimmer and dimmer, until they eventually reached a point where Lulu had to grab hold of Luna's tail again.

"Just try and stay behind me," Luna warned as she led the human through the darkness.

"Mhm," grunted Lulu as she stumbled over something.

"Alright, we're her-" the princess ceased speaking mid-sentence when she felt Lulu's fingers brush against her plot. The warmth lingered for a few moments afterwards.

Lulu slowly removed her hand from the base of the princess's tail and turned bright red. "Never speak of this?" she slowly asked.

"Never speak of this," Luna slowly answered and pushed the door open. "Welcome. To..." she paused dramatically. "The Music Room!" she bellowed, making Lulu stumble backwards in surprise.

The human shook her head as Luna giggled and helped her up again. Lulu looked around the room and saw posters of heavy metal bands around the walls: Iron Hayden, Pinkie Floyd, Van Hooflen, Aerogriff and many others. And the large poster above a set of badass looking drums: Dethklop.

Luna showed her around, showing her the countless musical experiments Luna had and did. "And there are my babies." she said proudly as they reached the drums. "Mama's missed you," she said and placed her head on one, rubbing it lovingly.

Lulu laughed at her friend. "You silly filly, you."

Luna blushed. "So you want to get your guitar and jam for a bit or...?"

Lulu gasped as she finally realized the princess's plan. "Of course I do, let's go get it now!" she said and bounced up and down happily.

The princess chuckled and let out a sigh of relief. She didn't really doubt that Lulu wouldn't want to play with her, and her plan became more and more solid as she saw how excited she was. "Alright. Let's go." She turned back to the drum kit. "Now you be good, mama'll be right back," she said sternly and laughed with Lulu as they went in search of the rec room again.

Comments

[D4ddy D15Cord]

The chef started back. "State your name rank and intention!" he demanded and regained his composer at somepony stealing into his kitchen.
Luna stepped into the light. "Princess Luna. Princess..." she paused and rubbed her chin. "Fun." she grinned like a madpony.

Doctor Whooves Getting Interrogated when He Appeared In Twilight's Spaceship....(Vid Reference on Youtube I Guess...?)
: State your name, rank and intention!
Doctor ; The Doctor, Doctor, Fun!

[SightlessOne]

You know, ever since the statue garden was shown, I've often wondered if Celestia uses it as her version of "capital punishment". Truly horrifying if you think about it; trapped in an endless hell from which there is no escape.

[dragenfire68]

1238767 called life.

[Gold_Dragon725]

1232717 actually I've seen Doctor who season 1-6 and its actually used I think in the episode"Rise of the cyber men" (I think) I know he uses it at some point :P

[AMinorDisChord]

Doctor Who reference!

[Happydeath]

1465993 Nope, waters of mars was the episodes name

[Joe Schmoe]

State your name, rank, and intention.

1: The Doctor, Doctor, fun
2: Shadow_Knight, novice writer, reading

[MidnightFMare]

We all get the ref! And it was nightmare on eden, fourth doctor.

Heh,
State your name, rank, and intention.
Midnight, the cat, and everything.
Lyra heartstrings, companion, adventure.

That's how we'd answer

[MidnightFMare]

Mr floop?! Spy kids reference!

[LWOverFlow]

State your Name,Rank, and Intention
ShadowCall, Class 1 LightWarrior, And Potential Awesomeness xD

[MyLittleBronyDude]

Xavier, Canadian, entertainment