by SoulHook

The DJ who shagged me

Previously: a famous death metal band named “Mane Death” is currently having troubles with a contract forcing them to play a concert in Ponyville. Meanwhile, a famous rave DJ known as Vinyl Scratch has been promised the exact same location at the exact same date. What makes this situation even worse is the fact that both of those musicians hate each others guts for some reason...


Part 2: The DJ who shagged me

“Whooo!! Ponyville, here we come! Mothers: hide your daughters! Daughters: hide your mil-”.

“Cut out with your darn coltcuddler references, Stricken! Nopony thinks they are funny anyways...”.

The light blue stallion looked away from the train's window and stared with a pout towards the band's vocalist sitting in one of the seats, Coal Silvermane. He didn't quite understand what he meant by that.

“That was not a coltcuddler reference, it's from how I met yo-”.

“Neil Patrick Hayrris said it, that makes it coltcuddler, now get away from that window; you look like a foalfiddler staring into a daycare...” Coal stated and glanced at his other band members chuckling to the comparison.

“Oh, ha... ha! I can really hear the background laughter right now. By the way, what's up with you?” he asked and sat down in his seat behind the others. “Yeah, you've been so angry ever since yesterday. You just walked past us all when we had our beer-sweeping contest. You love when Wide Beat and Cord Screech humiliates themselves by throwing up after just fifteen gulps without room for breathing...” the bass player Deep Bass agreed which caused the others to nod.

The steel gray equine sighed in annoyance and crossed his hindlegs, throwing a new glance at the stallions around him. “It's bad enough we are going to this stupid play when we're not even on a tour, and it really pisses me off the place we're gonna do it at is double booked... but what really grinds my gears like a cog stuck deep up my rectum without any oil...”.

The band members grimaced in disgust to that comparison.

“... is the fact the one who caused this double booking is nopony else than my biggest hate object:Vinyl Scratch!” he exclaimed which caused the others to widen their eyes.

“Vinyl Scratch? The rave DJ?”.

“The most famous DJ ever?”.

“The weird mare who schedules illegal gigs?”.

“The hottest piece of unicorn ever behind a mixing table?”.

Suddenly, everypony looked with curious faces at Stricken who curled together in defense. “What? She is not shabby, that's all...”.

Coal shook his head in a slowly developing irritation. “Yes, yes... that Vinyl Scratch. I know who the buck she is... and that's just it”.

The others nodded, fully agreeing to the mutual despise their leader felt towards this unicorn. None of them liked the sound of constant beats without any instruments being played by living ponies. However, Coal's feeling was more to the hate-kind.

For him, hardstyle was an insult to metal, techno a loser, dubbstep to be considered illegal, and everypony who shuffled in public should be shot on sight. The others didn't quite agree to all of that, but at least they agreed it was no good music to their ears.

The vocalist stallion looked at his clothes, admiring the black trench coat witch small chains hanging over his steel gray chest. This was is absolute favorite cloth, something he wore even during hot summers, which it was right now. The others didn't wear anything, it was more their kind of style and also their trademark that only the singer carried cloths.

Just by looking at his friends and members, Coal could already feel his smile returning.

“But don't worry, guys. We'll show her nopony steals Mane Death's show. And especially not Vinyl Scratch!” he stated with the smile he just found, instantly receiving a bunch of cheers from the others and a brohoof from Wide Beat who sat next to him.

- - - -
A couple of coupes back, another pony with the same kind of mood like the stallion up ahead mumbled her anger while leaning over the small table between her and the others she had brought with her to this trip.

“I just can't believe it...” she said clearly and pushed up her thick shades. “... who do they think they are? Bruce Springstone? The beatless? Phe, they're just a bunch of losers without talents, that's what they are! Right, guys?”.

She asked the stallion and two other mares she was accompanied by. The orange male Sunny Days glanced at the two girls standing up in their seats behind him, leaning over the back of their seats to look at Vinyl. The one to the left was a light green pegasus with a bedraggled mane in the colors of beige, Rain Water. The other to the right was a dark pink unicorn with a more fluffy mane in the color of blonde, Lucky Catch.

“Uhm... Rain Water began, not agreeing to the fullest. “Well...” Lucky Catch failed to say the same, leaving Sunny Days the only pony knowing what to say.

“I think you're a little wrong, Vinyl” he stated calmly, arching the white unicorn's eyebrows in anger. “Say what?” she thus responded.

The stallion leaned back on his seat and sighed, shifting his eyes between the beauties looking down on him. “The band has actually made a name for themselves in their genre, and I don't think they've sold hundreds of thousands of records by sucking at it. As a matter of fact, I heard just few weeks ago they had released their eight album. And that these guys are getting bigger for each one, you know”.

“Yeah, and let's not forget they've been in the newspaper, radio and on TV”.

“Plus the singer's really hot. Hee hee!”.

Everypony in the little company turned to Lucky, looking sceptically at her.

“What? Come on, he is!”.

Then, everypony reluctantly agreed, all aside from Vinyl who felt more anger consuming her.

“Aw, for the love of.... guys, the vocalist is an idiot screaming and growling like he's trying to summon Discord from the depths of pony-hell or something. And they aren't playing the guitars, they are torturing them! What they do is not singing or making music, just noises sounding like someponys' being cremated slowly while being forced to listen on Rebecca Back's 'Monday'...” she ended with a sigh, ignoring the fact her friends chuckled.

“Well, so might be it. I agree with my personal opinion that they're sounding horrible and should be considered anything but music, but you can't say they are talentless after all their success”.



“But I...”.

“Hey Vinyl”.


“Shut up”.

The DJ unicorn finally gave up and crossed her forelegs, pressing herself into the seat while looking away from her friends chuckling even more. She felt an annoying ambiance of her being the only one having enemies around herself, even though she knew Sunny was just playing with her. The other girls kept looking at her with smiles, ensuring they still stood on her side to one hundred percent. Those fine lips gave Vinyl the strength she needed to trust them and smile back.

“You know...” she started with a shinny smile radiating friendliness and gratitude, quickly responded by the others full attention. Of course they expecting her to say something kind like...

“Screw you guys, I'm outta here” she said casually with the smile intact and walked away from her seat.

- - - -
In the restaurant section, The steel gray stallion had made his way from the band's secluded coupe, with the obligatory pilot glasses and his black mane knotted into a ponytail beneath the red and white head cap, to get what he felt was necessary: a cup of coffee. After a short fight through the scuffing and cramming with the other ponies, he had managed to pass through without any serious wounds aside from a temporary concussion and a possibly broken hindleg. Of course, this was ten times milder than trying to get the latest CD by Lady Lama in a small record store.

As he finally had reached the table with the coffeemaker, he went ahead by taking a cup and pouring it up with the large machine. Meanwhile, another pony had decided to take on the exact same opportunity as she saw the stallion in shades and cap getting his cup.

“Hey” the white unicorn mare said and got up next to him, taking her equally white cup and putting it in the machine. The stallion quickly glanced at the mare before turning back, only to perform the cliché when he instantly turns back to look at the fine thing next to him.

“Why hello there. You felt you needed some too?” he asked the total stranger who chuckled before answering.

“Ugh, yeah. Those idiots who are supposed to be my friends aren't really...” she failed to find the word and waved a fore hoof to see if it helped.

“Friendly?” the stallion with the knotted, pitch-black mane tried to help.

“Haha... yeah, but they mean well...”.

“Friends usually do that. Otherwise, how the buck are you supposed to call them friends?”.

“You got that right!” the mare said giddily and pressed the button to the machine. An annoying click signaled to her the machine was empty and needed a refill, much to her greatest displeasing. “Aw, come... ON!” she exclaimed before looking as the male next to her with the cup in his hoof. He grimaced to agree what bad luck the mare just had, but at the same time felt like a real master-thief like Catman or a dark hero like Batwoman, striking a mental pose over how nasty he was while rolling his eyes in real life. After all, he WAS wearing a disguise...

She curled her lips a little up and a little down, not knowing if to be so cheap and ask or not. In the end, she felt the need for caffeine taking her well-being as hostage with a gun.

“I'm sorry, but could you...”.

“Tell you how the hay I'm holding a cup around the ear with a hoof?”.

“No... er, if I...”.

The stallion laughed heartily and shook his head with pleasure. “Just messing with you. Here ya go, miss” he then said and hoofed over the filled cup to the slightly gladder unicorn.

“Oh my, what a gentlecolt... hee hee, a humorous one too” she stated after realizing how many laws of physics she broke by holding the cup with a hoof, encouraging them both to chuckle. Just a short moment after that, the mare decided to take a good look at the stallion before her, unknowingly receiving the same kind of scan from him too. Their units of measurements and areas of interests were a little different, but they both had one thought in common:

Dat flank!

Soon the stallion heard the steps of need to talk approaching him. ”Nice to meet a mare without the stuck-up attitude, miss...?” he fished for the name.

The female equine cocked an eyebrow while smiling sinisterly, already showing her colors when seeing somepony with the looks and personality. “How 'bout we keep it a secret for the moment? It's more fun that way, don't ya think?”.

As the flirty wink escaped the mare's eyelashes, the stallion simply had to push down his black tinted shades to meet the mare's eyes, raising an eyebrow together with his smile to show he caught the gesture. “I see... you seem to know what you want, if I'm not mistaken?”.

The mare felt appealed with this stallion's odd character. He was dressed and looked like somepony who didn't care, but at the same time treated her with respect like an upper-class pony. She liked that, just like the coffee in her hoof.

“Wanna make me company back to my seat?” she said to throw out the bait, putting a reasonable amount of hope he'd bite it. “As tempting that offer is, I have to go back to my own morons before they wonder where the hay I am. And they wouldn't leave you alone, trust me” he ruined her hopes by saying. However, when he scratched his neck and chuckled to that, the mare wasn't completely disappointed.

“Hehe, yeah, that's friends for ya. But hey, can I have your number at least? Perhaps we could get to know each other a little more?”.

The stallion smiled, feeling quite appealed enough to actually let go of such valuable information...

- - - -
Back in the private section, the band members glanced away to see their friend coming back, taking of his cap and loosing the mane before flipping of the shades.

“You have returned!” the light blue unicorn stated with a serious tone like the male sitting down just had ventured through a life-threatening journey, quickly replied by getting the red and white cap put on his head.

“Yes, but my goal was sacrificed to sate the needs of a young dame” Coal said dramatically which lit up a flame of curiosity among the stallions.

“Oh, such noble deed, young Coal!” the bright yellow drummer Wide Beat joined while gesticulating some sort of faint with his hooves. “Who was this fine lady you spared the lack of caffeine and strong taste?”.

“Okay, buck this, it's getting weird...” the steel gray vocalist stated to the others great amusement and short burst of laughter. “Nah, but seriously, I got the last cup of coffee which she also wanted, so I just gave it to her and she appreciated it. End of story”.

“Really?” Deep Bass asked and leaned a little forward from his seat next to Wide Beat. “Good looking one?”.

“Sure. Unicorn with a white coat and a ravaged, blue mane. Heh, she even flirted with me, the poor thing” Coal shrugged before his chuckle.

The others froze with wide eyes, staring at their vocalist like he just had killed a dozen of newborn kittens. Some of them glanced at each other while the rest tried to hold themselves from breaking into laughter once again. Coal noticed this and looked at them with a question mark.

“What? You gotta problem with.... oh my Luna, she's a known activist for for independent feminism group and is going to sue me for sexual harassment even though I haven't done anything just because she can, isn't she?!” the stallion grimaced in fear and pressed himself back into his seat.

“No, no... pff... n-nothing at all.... it's nothing, w-we swear...” Stricken stated and looked away before he almost burst.

Coal looked at his friends without understanding a thing, soon deciding to ignore them and put on his trench coat again.

“Aw geez, I gotta go to the can... it's probably gonna take a while so knock on the door when we are at the right station” Deep Bass stated and walked out from the coupe, getting a few insistent nods and mumbles from the others.

“Don't play with yourself for too long!” Stricken called out, getting a kick on the fetlock from Cord Screech afterward.

- - - -
In Vinyl's part of the train, crowded with a few other random passengers minding their own business, the three ponies brought from Manehattan stared in confusion at their friend.

“Uhh.... steel gray coat and black pitch-black mane, dressed in a cap and big shades” Sunny stated.

“And his cutie mark was a vibrating microphone?” Rain Water added.

“Yeah, you know him? He gotta be a musician... and he was really cool too. I wanted to introduce you to him, but he said he had to go back” Vinyl explained with a trace of pride over her catch.

Sadly, she didn't notice the others expressions until they all looked at her with curious expressions.

“What? Problem with me hitting on strangers?” she asked.

“No.... heh... nothing at all...” Lucky giggled together with her pegasus friend. Sunny just grinned, managing to hold his mask as the eruptions of laughter cooled down in his mind.

“What, you think I failed to shag him? I'll let you know...” she grinned cockily and flipped up a paper note from nowhere, disobeying the laws of physics like everypony else since she had no pockets. “... that I got his phone number!” she waved with the small paper.

The humor-pressure overloaded like a filled blather, knocking out all three friends of Vinyl into a severe case of rolling on the floor, laughing out loud.

Vinyl snorted and put away the note, not allowing her company to take away her pride over the trophy...

- - - -
After another twenty minutes of traveling, the train had finally stopped at Ponyville station, allowing the boarding ponies to get off and stretch their legs. The quiet but still lively town revealed itself to the band as they stepped out one after another.

“Heh, pretty little town, don't ya think so, guys?” Coal, who was dressed out again, asked his friends who didn't pay much attention, instead dedicating the small time of break to look around and crack their necks. The vocalist shook his head and took another step away from the train to see if that certain mare he had met before was visible, unaware that she already had been the first one to get off and gallop away with her friends to another friend of her.

“Oh, well. You got everything with you?” the stallion tried to catch his friends' interest and adjusted his shades.

“Everything right here!” Wide Beat answered and picked up the the 24-pack of beer in a plastic bag with his mouth.

“Right here!” Cord Screech followed and held up a 24-pack too.

“Me too!” Stricken came directly after with yet another 24-pack hanging in his mouth.

Coal sighed at them all. “I was talking about your instruments....” he said right before putting on a confused stare. “... wait, where the buck did you get those from?”.

“Minibar!” they all answered in unison and smiled, not making any sense to their friend. “Minibar? On a train?” he thus asked, receiving three rapid nods from the others. He gave up to try understand and turned around.

“Whatever, as long as you got all your stuff with you...” he ended and began walking away with the others. “Because you do, right? We didn't forget anything?” he asked to the others who shook their heads without minding the bags they held.

As they continued on, the megaphones called out the train's departure, signaling for it to leave the station. Inside the train, inside the toilet of the band's private coupe, the purple stallion with a short cut dark red mane burst out after hearing the loud announcement. Too late he realized the doors were closed and wouldn't budge, forcing him to run up to a window and scream.

“Hey guys!! Guys!! Over here! I didn't get off the train!! Guys!!!

And as the train finally moved forward in a slowly growing speed, the bass player realized it was too late.


“Excuse me sir, would you like a cocktail?”.

“NO, I ONLY...”.

In an instant, the stallion turned around from the glass and noticed the female conductor in the barely legal age dressed in a red miniskirt and a tight top, smiling innocently with her glimmering, innocent eyes and blushing like a schoolfilly.

“... want to know if that cocktail comes with you on my lap?”.

To be continued...

Author's Note:
Being used to type about 9.000 words per chapter makes this a little challenging for me since it's only one third of it. Huh, perhaps that's why it's so exciting writing this story! Anyways, I hope this story is at least a little appealing to you guys. So far I'm fearing I'll bore you all with my crappy references and hard-to-interpret jokes. Just got one tip for ya, don't take this seriously unless it's being heavily developed in the story.

I'll just see what you guys think, but remember that IF you somehow like this story, it's a one of a kind in my collection of stories...

Brohoof on ya all!