This is meant to be a (mostly) comedic take on the subject of a person ending up in Equestria as a red and black alicorn. Please read at least chapter one before down-voting into oblivion. Edited by DarkParable and Xanathar, so go check their stuff out.

I got this comment from Xanathar while being literately sick with a fever:

Don't worry. Looks like you are just a niche author.
Your writing is too confusing and smart for connoisseurs of red and black alicorns, but too esoteric and rough for high-brow crowd. For example, you still don't fixed seven improper uses of then in the second chapter of Rare Source. Every orthodox grammar nazi closed tab after second improper use.
Probably you never will be a popular author. Deal with it. I'll fain take you anytime than 99.9% of shit featured on the main page.

Then I thought: Challenge accepted! Muhahahahahahahahah!

The idea of this fic just kinda flowed from there. (The slip-up has been corrected, by the way.)

Onward towards this train-wreck of a idea that amused me while sick!

Don't expect frequent updates or this making sense. Tags updated as I write. For the League of Humans Acting Villainous

Pic made using Generalzoi's Pony Creator while laughing uncontrollably. Link in the pics source.

If you came to hear a story, I’m sorry to disappoint. I suspect this’ll just end up as one big confession, really. When you’re the first Teutscher to set hoof into Equestria, I suppose that’s to be expected. And when you’re the universe’s favorite chew toy, doubly so. Still, with enough wit, some Prussian ingenuity, a droll sense of humor, and wanton murder, I might just survive this. Then again, when you’re going up against an unending list of things like government conspiracies, that guardian angel who keeps telling you to kill ponies, psycho Equestrian girls with allophilia, a lunatic princess, the legions of the Inferno, the Equestrian culture itself, swashbuckling sword fights, and laissez-faire economists, you begin to realize why there’s a big “if” in the middle of your life.

Your thoughts/critiques/deathreats are welcome in the comments. Spoilers are also encouraged. If you don’t have anything to complain about, do please tell me what you liked so I know what worked.

Now on TV Tropes. Posted on the Equestria Daily 5/28/13. Now in ePub format for your convenience.

Ruhig Fortepiano is the ambassador of an yet unnamed, but powerful military and industrial empire, performing his duties in the city of Canterlot. After months of planning, the political-economical relations between the two kingdoms are keen to change for the better in quite a short time, Ruhig, as an ambassador, having a rather direct participation. But the brand new order of things may actually not be in everyone's liking.
Will the unpredictable and somewhat odd, but kind and morally elevated ambassador manage to apprehend the intrigue evolving around his ambiance for the next days before the execution of the formalities, thus, pushing the known Equestria in a bright future ?

~~~
Cover art done by IcyBlackWing
The mare on the left is Ms. Touche Finale, the Pegasus in the center is Ruhig Fortepiano, and the aged Unicorn on the right is Mr. Presspapier.

King Sombra’s dark influence was obliterated by the Crystal Heart, and the villain is well and truly dead. But when he attempts to steal the afterlife of an innocent victim, a human spirit is left hurtling towards Equestria, where this unfortunate soul is revived into the only vessel available: the reconstituted body of King Sombra himself.

Thus, a cheerfully oblivious alien is crammed into the form of the most evil and malicious being Equestria has ever known. Not that Shining Armor and Cadence know this, of course. As far as they are concerned, the King is back and he’s lost his fricking mind.

Click here for the TV Tropes page!

This story is a sequel to An Affliction of the Heart: Volume Two

Swarm is the first ever changeling/pony hybrid, child of Warden the pegasus, and Kuno the changeling.

What does life have in store for this unlikely trio?

Twists, for a start!

This story is a sequel to A Novice Swordsman in the Canterlot Court

"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody."—Mark Twain

Alan Williams Goldenhoof, Pendragon of Equestria, now married to the love of his life, has taken a step back from the world to enjoy life.

Of course, this is quickly ruined as the world comes to get him. Now Alan must leave behind his peaceful home in Equestria to face the rebel forces of his old enemy General Ironclaw. But all is not as it seems, for the General has a trick up his sleeve that will force Alan and his friends to face their darkest secrets.

This will get ugly.

Book 2 of the Harmony for All Trilogy.

(In the process of being rewritten)

After his defeat in the Crystal Empire, Sombra is sent to Hell to suffer for his sins until the end of time. However, it turns out that his eternal punishment is not a lake of fire, but rather a combination of annoying neighbors, trivial work, and disgusting beer. Will Discord and Chrysalis be able to get the angry newcomer to loosen up and enjoy his eternity?

*AU: This story assumes that all major FiM villains, save for Nightmare Moon, died at the end of their respective episodes.

Cover image by Madmax (text added by DJ Indie Cred)

Have you ever woken up somewhere you don't recognize? I have, once before. This time was not all that different. Headache? Check. Dry mouth? Check. Upset stomach? Check. Hooves? Uhm, that one is new.

Hi, I'm Bruce and I'm 32. Currently, I'm in a light blue Earth Pony foal's body no one has ever seen before. The rest of Equestria thinks I'm 9 and something really traumatic happened to me. It doesn't help I swear like a sailor and I could really go for a smoke right about now. I just hope that the Everfree Forest, rampaging monstrosities, evil dark abominations against God and the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't kill me before I have just one last drag.

Oh, and ponies are hella creepy when you really think about it. Geez.

A little comedy side project. EDIT: HAHA Main project. More characters to be added if I get that far. Categories might be refined as I write. Entire thing is unplanned except vaguely. Don't Expect excessive cursing to be written out, just hinted at. Oh, and as the character is a 30-ish year old in the body of a 9 year old, sexual jokes might exists but sex itself will not occur.

Special thanks to user Momomojito for the awesome-tastic picture! First fanart, I'm so HAPPY. I've gotten more since then! I should collect it all here. Collected!

One day, Fluttershy wakes up only to find herself in a changed world. Ponyville and Equestria are not how she remembers them: airships cross the sky, steam-powered machinery drives the economy and the rule of Celestia is no more. In this strange alternate world, Fluttershy reunites with her dear friends and learns of the event that changed history itself. Worse, the timid pegasus seems to have arrived just in time to witness the rapidly approaching climax of a civil war that has been raging for three hundred years...

Kevin Costern is a human in Equestria. But how will he deal with natives that don't speak English?

When you're done, check out the sequel.