... and learns important life lessons, somewhere in between everything going wrong.

* * *

"The first thing I thought upon reading Hitchhikers was that the gods of ponyfiction … had smiled upon me." – Ezn
"Congratulations, you have written the first 'Proper Noun Verbs A Noun' story that does not actively disgust me." - Prereader Benman

A terrible affliction has befallen the peaceful town of Ponyville, and the lavender unicorn and her friends are right in the middle of it! And the edges of it. Heck, it's pretty much lavender unicorns all over.

A story unrelated to anything.

Shining Armor is Captain of the Royal Guard, and has no time for making friends, unlike his social butterfly sister. But when the Mare in the Moon threatens to return to the world, making friends may be his only hope to save Equestria.

An alternate universe fanfic featuring Shining Armor and five other stallions of exceptional character.

Derpy Hooves is secretly a changeling.

Nopony particularly notices, or cares.

(New 9/15/19: Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi! Thank you!)

I kind of had a bad day at work and was thinking about stupid sexy Chrysalis, and then I wondered if there was a stupid sexy Trixie tag on derpibooru, and then my mind said SHIP THEM so I wrote this in about an hour and my god it is really late but like I said I had a bad day and went to some dark places but then I wrote this at the same time so maybe life isn't completely awful.

What, you want a plot? There is no plot. There's ponies kissing and stupid sexy Chrysalis and peanut butter toast. That should be all you need.

WANTED:

The newly crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle has set up a bold new initiative to discover new magic, and is sending out an open call to the unicorns of Equestria to apply for her research team. No experience in magical theory or research necessary. Enthusiasm and out-of-the-box thinking a must. The Equestrian government is not responsible for any physical, emotional, or magical trauma experienced during the course of the project or the application process.

Cover art by Page Turner

Rainbow Dash isn't afraid of anything, and she has better things to do than sit around worrying about some wussy emotions. But after reading the next Daring Do novel, she suddenly finds her feelings towards her friends changing- and not in ways she's comfortable with...

(May be subject to massive edits, depending on whether I can get over the obligatory irrational[?] hatred. Also, yes, I select the cover images pretty much at random.)

(In the process of being rewritten)

After his defeat in the Crystal Empire, Sombra is sent to Hell to suffer for his sins until the end of time. However, it turns out that his eternal punishment is not a lake of fire, but rather a combination of annoying neighbors, trivial work, and disgusting beer. Will Discord and Chrysalis be able to get the angry newcomer to loosen up and enjoy his eternity?

*AU: This story assumes that all major FiM villains, save for Nightmare Moon, died at the end of their respective episodes.

Cover image by Madmax (text added by DJ Indie Cred)

She’s the loyalest of friends and most dependable of ponies; how could anypony not fall in love with Applejack? In fact, so much of the town has found themselves under her seductive spell, they’ve formed a secret society to help each other cope with their unbridled lust. Operating in seclusion, this group has been an unseen staple of Ponyville. Surely, though, nothing good can come of the mare herself discovering the existence of Applejack Anonymous.

Cover pic by the inimitable Mr. Snowpony.

Seriously, a lot.

(Now with a Spanish translation by the generous SPANIARD KIWI!)