Princess Luna Picks Up Hitchhikers

by horizon

Granny Smith: Coda

A muffled voice from outside the door breaks my concentration: "Look, we really need to talk to her."

"No," says Polar Star.

"Please."

"I believe her exact words were, 'go away'."

I do my best to ignore them. Focus is the key to a good sulk.

Comments

[challenge_king]

Three chapters, woohoo! Well done!

Oh, and first! Mwahahahaha.

[horizon]

Thank you all for reading and enjoying!

1801721 Fortunately, they've now given us comment permalinks.

1801922 I don't know that I would call the "coda" bits actual chapters. They're sort of like extended punchlines to wrap up dangling plot threads and set up scene transitions. I hadn't planned on them being an ongoing thing, but I'm finding I like the effect.

1810823
(\

Because I know you'll appreciate it, I'm going to copy and paste one of the exchanges I had with one of my prereaders:

> Don't you need arms to have cubits? (You are the only author I would bother pointing this out to.)
I'm chuffed you asked, because I actually thought about it beforehoof. ^.^

Historically, a cubit originated from an elbow-to-fingertip measurement, and the name itself is from the Latin for "elbow" (horse anatomy still allows the foreleg's knee to be called an elbow btw). A primitive race without hands would still need a simple body-based masurement, though, and knee-to-forehoof works well for the exact same reasons.

The planned, elegant nature of SI doesn't seem to mesh well with the chaotic anachronisms of ponykind, and Imperial units (yards) would strongly imply -- or at least force readers to question -- "foot" as a measure. (I could swap foot/hoof, but that's inelegant, especially since hooves are so much smaller than footlengths.) "Cubit" is just anachronistic enough that people will recognize it as a unit of measurement and have a general idea of its scale, yet lend an exotic air to the whole enterprise.

Now you know.

[challenge_king]

1814479

I agree. More please!

[paul]

just want to say "thank you!" for this brilliant story

[horizon]

1937758 Glad you liked it! There's more to come.

Incidentally, you're the fourth new person to fave/track in the last 24 hours; can I ask how you stumbled across Hitchhikers? (Was it via the comments of How To Remove A Unicorn Tooth? If not, that's also a remarkably good story.)

[paul]

1938178
No. Ezh mentioned this story in blog post
So I came, took a look and it was "Wow! Instafav! :)"

[horizon]

1938235 Ah! Awesome. Thank you!

[nemryn]

1938178 I came here from Ezn too!

[horizon]

1942085 I don't know whether to be thrilled that someone caught my naming convention, or aghast that you're blithely throwing around ULTRA SUPER SEKKRIT SPOILERS for later chapters. Nopony must know!

(Actually, Blade will be the next name to show up. We won't see Nemesis until we start replacing the guards on duty. You can't get it without trading in one of your weapons, after all.)

[shutaro]

Oh, poor Luna. Just sulk it out girl, there's nothing wrong with it.
But I feel you do Granny Smith quite a disservice here, she would still tan your hide for badmouthing her like this.

[horizon]

2247239
We will discover in Haylander that Granny Smith is quite capable indeed of holding her own …

[Causal Quill]

2247500

Yes. Tell us more!

That goes for this fic as well. Update already!

[horizon]

2546102
Not done with Hitchhikers, I promise! Digging out from under obligations, but keep an eye on my userpage where I post the status of stories-in-progress.

[LittleSallyDigby]

2746489

Regarding Spike: Yeah, that makes sense; I just wanted to be sure I was interpreting it correctly.

Regarding dual guards: Ooh, that's a whole series of good points- and, as I suspected, includes concerns for more than just event security. Good thinking.

[Fiddlebottoms]

Functionally, I liked the use of the squeaking axle and single lines to create a sense of awkward space during the first ride.
Content, you did a good job of walking that line between "cute ponies being silly" and "overdone so saccharine my teeth are going to melt." A lot of people writing these sort of stories just pound out the cute until it is a horrible ordeal.

Luna was kind of a bitch to her guards, though. I guess it is just her way, but the itchweed part felt petty for an absolute monarch. Although, I guess if they sneeze her mail then there isn't too much dignity in the job.

[horizon]

2788090
Thank you!

The dignity (such as it is) of the Night Guard and Luna's poor behavior will both be further explored in chapter 3 (which I actually returned to working on earlier this week — I've got 5,000 words written). I hope it was sufficiently implied that she justifies that punishment to herself as a compromise between her own standards and the workings of an organization which hasn't dealt with her for a long, long time.

[Skeeter The Lurker]

Yes... Never bother the pissed off goddess.

Not a good idea at all.

~Skeeter The Lurker

[WorldWalker128]

Send in Derpy. No one can say no to Derpy.

[Rockstar_Raccoon]

So... Wait... She turns her guards into mindless monsters...
That's a little sketchy for a good guy to be do-

Wait... She uses it to make them roll in itch-weed as a corporal punishment for advice she doesn't like? She sounds like a terrible person to work for!

[horizon]

3795969
You're absolutely justified in noticing that and having that reaction. (Although given that this is fairly close to slapstick comedy, it's not something I expect people to pick up on until I point it out. It warms my heart to see readers thinking about my stories.)

Chapter 5 already addresses that directly and it'll be a major factor in Luna's growth going forward.