Fear Of The Fall

by TheVulpineHero1

Chapter 9

It was common knowledge throughout Equestria that if you were trying to get somewhere you weren't supposed to be, the best way of doing it was to act like you had every right to be there. Nopony would question you, and you could simply cruise on through to whatever it was you were trying to do. Early in her childhood, Rainbow Dash had taken note of this, and practised a nonchalant swagger that eventually became her default method of transportation.

Unfortunately, what was common knowledge to Rainbow Dash was also common knowledge to the ponies being paid to guard things. As a result, anypony who looked like they belonged in a place too much would be swiftly thrown out. It therefore followed that the easiest way to get to places you shouldn't be was to wander, wide-eyed, as if you had just stumbled through a rift in time and space that had conveniently spat you out backstage with your favourite band. This was a trick Dash was yet to master.

Even deprived of its purpose, however, the swagger remained. Dash never walked; she strutted. She didn't fly; she soared. She strolled carelessly past the suits of armour that seemed to gaze down at her when she passed by. She sauntered casually past Commander Cirrustrade, who had procured a cup-and-ball and was enjoying himself as per his orders. Her progress: unstoppable. Her destination: the kitchens of Canterlot Castle.

The chefs had retired for the evening, and the great bronze cooking pots (usually bubbling over with vegetable soup) lay dormant. There was, however, one pony still in the kitchen when Dash burst in. She was covered in rope, and her eyes were red and puffy from melodramatic tears.

They had let her keep the sombrero.

“Wings. You have wings. Rainbow Dash, is that you?” Rarity asked, wiggling upright. Applejack had tied her up rather more tightly than she thought was necessary. She was quite sure there would be welts.

“Wow. Nice hat, Rarity. Lemme guess, you came as a piñata?”

“Yes, you're certainly Rainbow Dash,” Rarity muttered. “Now, listen. You must help me. Applejack tied me up and –”

“Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Too much information,” Dash said, stepping lightly around her trussed comrade and opening a cupboard. “I mean, I always kinda thought AJ would be into that stuff, but what you two do in your alone time ain't my business.”

If Rarity could have had a wish, any wish, she would have spent it wishing she didn't know what Dash was implying. “No,” she said patiently. “You don't understand. Twilight was there and–”

“You got Twilight to join in? Wow. I thought she was way too straight laced for that kind of thing. I guess you never can know a pony,” Dash said, shaking her head in mock sadness and rummaging through the spice rack. “Hey, Fluttershy and Pinkie aren't in on this too, are they? If I'm the only one not invited, I swear you guys are off my Hearth's Warming card list.”

“Rainbow Dash,” Rarity said sternly. Her voice was hoarse from all the shouting she'd been doing in hopes of attracting help.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You're way too prissy for that stuff,” Dash said with a shrug. She looked philosophically at a vial of black pepper, before returning it and bustling off to another corner of the kitchen.

“So… aren't you going to untie me?”

Dash snorted. “Absolutely. Not! I mean, come on. Twilight and AJ are the responsible ones. If they tied you up, they've probably got a pretty good reason for it. What did you do, by the way?”

Rarity had enough dignity to look away. “Well, I may, through a series of coincidental mishaps, have scared Fluttershy just a touch.”

“So, what you mean is, you terrified her. Am I right?” Dash asked, taking a bite out of an apple she'd found.

“Well, I wouldn't say… I mean… reportedly, that might perhaps be the case, but…”

Rainbow Dash sighed, but didn't say anything. Like Applejack and Pinkie, she was a member of that very rare class of ponies who could reduce an entire room to silence by simply not talking. When Dash went quiet, she did it very loudly. With an uncharacteristically serious expression on her face, she sat down beside her friend. Absently, she picked up a salt cellar from the counter top and began toying with it.

“Okay, Rarity. You and me have gotta have a little chat. So, you scared Fluttershy. It was an accident, right?” Dash asked.

For a very brief moment, Rarity wondered what would happen if the answer was no. She got a sudden, vivid mental image of that salt cellar being shoved in places no salt cellar ought to venture. “But of course. I would never purposefully scare Fluttershy.”

“You're gonna apologise to her, right?”

“Ah, well. I don't think she knows it was me. Costume, you know.”

“So, you're going to tell her it was you, and then you're going to apologise to her. Right?” the pegasus asked patiently, as if explaining that lava was hot and that it would be unwise to wash your face in it.

Rarity nodded glumly. Of course, she'd have to explain to Fluttershy about her whole Plan, too, but it barely even mattered any more. She'd had time to think whilst wriggling around on the floor, and had come to a realisation. There was much that she was prepared to put up with in order to sow true love, but being tied up in a public kitchen by her outraged friends was not on the list. Neither was causing undue distress to Fluttershy. For the time being, at least, she was more than ready to call it quits on Operation: Rainbow Romance.

“Then we're cool,” Dash said, and sprang abruptly to her feet. “Now, where's the booze cupboard?”

“Wait. We're cool? At a moderate temperature? Just like that? I mean, not that I'm complaining, darling, but I scared Fluttershy. Aren't you mad at all?”

“Pfft. Come on, Rarity. I've known 'Shy since we were fillies. You really think I've never scared her by accident before? Hayseeds, I've scared her on purpose more than a few times. I only stopped pranking her because Pinkie doesn't like it,” Dash explained with a snort. “Hey, is it sombreros that can hold a ton of water without spilling it, or am I thinking of something else?”

“That would be ten gallon hats, darling, and I'll thank you not to pour water dans mon chapeau,” Rarity added, as Dash reached for a glass. “I was just wondering, because Twilight and Applejack were… less than pleased about the situation, one might say.”

Once more, Dash became quiet. She had the air of a pony deciding whether or not to reveal a dark and dangerous secret.
“They're probably just being protective of her. Kinda hard not to be protective of Fluttershy. But, y'know, sometimes I think they take it a little too far. She's timid, but she's not a baby. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who doesn't tiptoe around her, if you know what I mean. Wine or rum?”

“Wine is a good deal more sophisticated, so I should lean towards that. And what do you mean, darling?”

“Rum it is then. What I mean is,” Dash began, then clicked her tongue as she searched for the right words. "It's all about confidence. Everypony always acts like she's going to burst into flames or something every time anything scary happens, and because everypony else acts like that, I sometimes think 'Shy tricks herself into being more anxious than she actually is. Like, if everypony just acted normal instead of comforting her about disasters that don't exist, maybe she'd be less nervous all the time.”

Rarity thought about that. She wasn't quite sure if she agreed or not, but it was certainly more in-depth than she had previously credited Dash's thought process to be.

“Alright, I'm set. By the way, Rarity? Don't tell anypony what I said just now. I mean, I've got a reputation to consider. I don't want ponies to think I waste my time on all this touchy-feely emotional stuff,” the pegasus said. “If you do tell anypony, I'll tell them you and AJ were having a kinky bondage party with Twilight. Then tell AJ and Twilight that you said it.”

“My lips are sealed, darling. But what, may I enquire, are your plans for that rum?” Rarity asked.

The bottle that Dash had selected was a large one. More than large, in fact. Bottles, logically, are measured by the amount of ships you can fit in them, and Dash's was a full two-and-a-half ships, plus a small dinghy. The label was covered in ancient, spidery hoofwriting, which said something to the effect of 'Abandon hope all ye who enter here'.

“Well, first, I'm gonna spike the punch. Then, I'm gonna drink Princess Luna under the table,” Dash replied.

There was a long period of silence where Dash grinned smugly and Rarity's mind tried to comprehend what she had just heard. Rarity's mind was still trying to figure out why she was tied up and wearing a sombrero. She was due a nice, long bout of stark-raving lunacy, but it was so much less satisfying when all you could do was wriggle and knock over a few pots.

“Ahaha. I must be dreaming, darling, because I thought you just said you were going to get drunk with the Princess. As I recall, alcohol is a drug, and drugging royalty is one of those things that comes with a prison sentence,” she said. The high-pitched strains of panic were already obvious in her voice.

“Twilight says that, technically, food is a drug since it has an effect on the body and you ingest it. They don't put the chef in jail for feeding her, so they can't put me in the slammer for getting her wasted. Q.E.D, Rarity,” Dash said loftily.

“That's… Darling, that isn't how it works, alcohol is a poison and–”

“Twi said everything's a poison if you take enough of it. She's a bigger egghead than you, so that gives her priority.”

Rarity wondered if, hidden somewhere in the labyrinthine folds of Rainbow Dash's brain, there was some kind of 'Top 100 Eggheads' listing by which she navigated everything she heard. It wouldn't surprise her. Sometimes, the pegasus made even less sense than Pinkie did. But then, Pinkie was logical, if you knew what arcane and mysterious logic she was using on that particular day of the week. Dash saw the logic and then casually interpreted it in the way that was most convenient for her. (Somewhere in the world, as a direct result of this thought, a pot called a kettle black.)

“Hold on a minute, darling. Let's look at this practically. How do you know you can even outdrink Luna? She's at least a thousand years old, one of the most powerful magicians in all Equestria. You, on the other hand, routinely lose in drinking contests with Applejack.”

Dash lowered an eyebrow. “Have you even met Applejack? She lives on a farm.”

“What does that even mean?” Rarity asked, and tried to throw up her hooves in exasperation. Unfortunately they were still bound to her sides, and the effect was diminished somewhat.

“Anyway, even if Luna's like some thousand year old super granny, I have it on reliable authority that she just spent roughly a thousand of those years on the moon. There aren't any bars on the moon. I think her booze tolerance will have gone down by now.”

“But supposing she does outdrink you. What then?”

Dash tapped her nose with her hoof. “She'd be the one getting me drunk, so I wouldn't get in trouble. If I win, I get one over on Luna, and if I lose, I'm just her friendly drinking buddy. It's the perfect crime.”

Rarity realised, with a sinking sensation of dread, that she wasn't going to get through to her. Dash's head was simply too hard. It was like trying to dig to the centre of a mountain with a knitting needle. Something would break, and it wouldn't be the mountain.

“Well, darling, I can see you're quite set on this. I would just like to say that it has been an honour to be your friend, and I shall visit you in jail whenever I have free time,” Rarity announced gravely.

“Don't worry. It's gonna be awesome,” Dash replied. Without further ado, she made to leave, taking time to jangle the hanging pots and pans as she did.

“Wait! Darling, can I ask you to do me one very small favour? Should you see Spike, tell him that I was unfortunately waylaid and am currently in the kitchen. He should be carrying a maid's outfit.”

“Right. If I see Spike in a maid's outfit, tell him you said to get back in the kitchen. Got it,” Dash recited, and left. Within seconds she was back, leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe.

“Uh, as much as I know you love the sensation of bein' tied up, I'm pretty sure there's like, scissors and knives in the drawers. I mean, it's a kitchen. Why don't you just do some of that crazy unicorn telekinesis stuff and cut the ropes?” Dash asked. “That way, you get to go free, but Twi and AJ can't blame me for untying you.”

“Darling, you are an absolute treasure,” the unicorn said, mentally pummelling herself for not thinking of the solution herself.

“No problem. Us troublemakers gotta look out for one another. Make sure to give me five minutes to clear the area, so nopony connects me to the scene of the crime,” the pegasus cautioned, and was gone.

Rarity sighed. Us troublemakers. Well, it was certainly true, as Twilight and Applejack had taken such great pains to inform her. Trouble had most definitely been made. But perhaps the evening hadn't been entirely without profit. She felt she'd bonded with Rainbow Dash, albeit just enough to know that there was more going on in the pegasus' head than she let on sometimes. If she'd had a pen, she'd have put the discovery down in a letter – “Dear Princess Celestia, today I found out that my friend isn't a total emotional black hole. Also, stallion's leotards: really quite uncomfortable, and not recommended for evening wear."

When her five minutes were more or less up, she breathed a sigh of relief. The whole evening had been one bout of cartoonish stupidity after the next, and she was glad it was almost over. She had every intention of spending her remaining time well away from the dance floor where Applejack or Twilight might catch her – perhaps she would pay a visit to Fluttershy to make good on that apology. She grasped the handle of the drawer with her magic and pulled. Instead of opening, it rattled. She pulled again, and got the same result.

“Stuck. Of course it is,” she muttered.

There are advantages and there are disadvantages to being a princess. One of the greatest pros is that you can knock on any door in the realm and expect to be given a cup of tea as thanks for your not ruining the country. In this way, princesses are much like glorified builders. However, to balance this wondrous privilege, a princess is required to attend the horse races once per year wearing the floppiest, most ridiculous hat she can lay hooves on.

Another great joy of being royalty is that everypony is very eager to name things after you like trains and bridges and cakes. Princess Celestia had once ridden HRH Princess Celestia over the Princess Celestia Bridge while eating a slice of Princess Celestia sponge, and had found it more amusing than she had any right to. The corresponding sorrow was court life, where ponies in large and ridiculous hats gave large and ridiculous speeches about how they shouldn't have to pay taxes on their large and ridiculous bank balances. (There are a lot of ridiculous hats in the princess job. It comes with the territory.)

Still, the largest disadvantage of being a princess, insofar as Luna was concerned, was that you were contractually forbidden from showing surprise when a mare in a mask and a (faintly ridiculous) hat slides out from underneath the table and begins staring at you.

“I've been looking for you, Princess 'Celestia',” the mare said.

“It appears you have located me. I take it thou art Rainbow Air-quotes Dash?” Luna asked.

Dash blinked. She'd really been relying on shock factor of blowing Luna's disguise to carry her through. “Uh, sure. That's me. I know you're Princess Luna, by the way.”

“That was not at all implied by the sarcastic pause when you addressed me initially,” the Princess said dryly.

Rainbow Dash smiled, mainly to hide the fact that she was hideously, terribly wrong-hoofed. She had sort of assumed that she'd walk up, talk to a princess, magic would happen and drinking would occur. That was how things usually happened in her day to day life. Now she had to come up with a cunning plan to trick Luna into having a drinking contest with her.

“Have a drinking contest with me,” Dash said.

“No,” Luna replied.

“Simon says have a drinking contest with me.”

The princess blinked. “What? What manner of pony has a name like Simon?”

Years later, Dash would remember this moment as the time she tried to outfox a thousand-year-old moon princess with a foalhood game. “Simon does. Simon says have a drinking contest with me, and you gotta do what Simon says.”

“Bring forth this Simon. I would meet the pony so impertinent as to issue orders to a princess,” Luna said darkly.

“Look, forget Simon! All I want is to get to know you a little better. I mean, we're colleagues. You run the kingdom, I save the kingdom,” Dash wheedled, not adding the obvious 'sometimes from you'. “And Twi's basically family to you, and I'm her friend. I just wanted to...y'know, do a little bonding.”

As if conjured by the mere mention of her name Twilight Sparkle appeared in a flash of light, ready to discuss the matters of correspondence that Luna had hinted about. It was here that she made her first huge mistake of the evening: she did not run, screaming, for the hills. Instead, she saw Rainbow Dash, and began to look remarkably unimpressed.

“Okay, what's going on?” she asked. She hadn't bothered to re-disguise herself as Luna.

“Rainbow Dash was attempting to persuade me to indulge in some bondage,” the princess replied.

Twilight's face performed an interesting twitch, but she bravely resisted the urge to make a sarcastic comment. “Okay, linguistic drift is a thing that exists. So, she hasn't tried to prank you?”

Luna shook her head. “Not as of yet. However, she has informed me that I am to participate in a drinking contest with her, on pain of Simon's displeasure.”

“…Drinking contest. Right. But Pinkie said this punch was non-alcoholic,” Twilight said, and gave Dash a look which would curdle milk. Had Dash been a less courageous pony, she would have excused herself from the scene. As it was she began, almost imperceptibly, to squirm. Luna noticed.

“Would you care to join our contest, Twilight Sparkle?” she asked, and was rewarded by the colour draining from Dash's face.

“Actually, yes. I'll take the first drink. That way, I can tell if there's anything funny going on.”

“You can't,” Dash said quickly. “There isn't enough punch for all three of us.”

Twilight looked at the punch bowl, which was very full, and then at Rainbow Dash's head, which was apparently very empty. The air became tense.

“Whoops,” the pegasus said woodenly, and swept the bowl off the table. “Oh, man. Looks like we'll have to find a different bowl, huh?”

Had Twilight's face suddenly peeled off to reveal an angry, fire spitting demon, it would not have scared Dash any more than the look she actually gave her. “We will talk about what you put in that punch later,” Twilight hissed, and stomped off to find another bowl.

“I take it that the punch in question was spiked?” Luna asked when the unicorn was out of earshot. “Some pranks have not changed in a thousand years.”

“Of course it was spiked! Me and you just dodged a custard pie right there. You can't let Twi drink. Ever. She gets drunk,” Dash said, her voice popping as it sometimes did when she was excited or certain she was about to die.

“She does? How unique.”

“You don't get it. When Twi gets drunk, she starts casting all the magic spells she's not stupid enough to cast when she's sober. Last time, she turned off friction for the whole village. Nopony could move, and the ones who were moving couldn't stop. The time before that, she looked into the future – then started laying traps.”

Luna's face became very still. “And approximately how much alcohol does it take to induce a state of drunkenness in Twilight Sparkle?”

“I don't know,” Dash said, throwing her hooves in the air. “Maybe one, two glasses? She's a total lightweight.”

Twilight returned, a bowl of punch levitating dangerously above her head, circled by three glasses which rotated like cartoon birds after a heavy crash. Still glaring at Dash, she gently placed the bowl on the table, filled a glass, and made her second grave mistake of the evening. She drank it.

“Huh. Tastes weird,” she said.

The centre of the dancefloor burst into panic as a sphere of blinding light flickered into existence. The infinite number of streamers that Pinkie had put on the ceiling were shaken free and pulled into the maelstrom that surrounded the orb. Several unlucky ponies found their hats bursting into flames. As suddenly as it had started, the phenomenon stopped, revealing none other than a second Twilight Sparkle – one with a stagger, a red nose, and a look of great misguided purpose. She had around her neck a small vial of black fluid, tied in place with a red ribbon.

“Some pranks haven't changed for – you didn't!” Dash hissed, as Luna looked on at the chaos. Ponies were fleeing the dance floor, leaving the new Twilight alone in the centre.

“Greetingsh. I am Twilight Sparkle from about… five o' clock tomorrow morning, and I come bearing dire newsh of terrible danger!” the new Twilight said grandly. “Wheresh me? I need to talk to me.”

Present Twilight took a deep breath, as if fighting the urge to do something deeply, deeply violent. Then, she turned to Rainbow Dash.

“Rainbow Dash, I know you're my friend, and I know you probably didn't mean for this to happen, but I am literally going to kill you for whatever it is you've done,” the unicorn hissed.

Future Twilight, upon catching sight of her past self, began staggering across the room, a drunken harbinger of misfortune.
“You!” she said, pointing at herself. “I have a grave warning for you!”

“Do they at least put me in jail after I murder Dash?” Present Twilight asked her doppelgänger. “Fluttershy would be terrified if she knew a killer was running around.”

Future Twilight blinked. “Are you crazy?”

“You're drunk. Go home,” Present Twilight replied archly.

“Huh! You're not the bosh of me. Only I'm the bosh of me. I'm older, anyway, so you have to listen,” Future Twilight said smugly.

“Technically, Princess Luna is the boss of you, and Princess Celestia is literally the boss of you. And why are you trying to pull rank on yourself, anyway? What, is your message so unimportant that you're worried I won't listen to it?” Present Twilight shot back.

If Dash had had to describe the atmosphere in the room at that moment, she would have called it ugly. It had been a long, long night for Twilight Sparkle, full of worry and paranoia; the unicorn was more than ready to cut loose and rip somepony a new one. But she couldn't take it out on her friends, because they were her friends, and she couldn't take it out on strangers because she didn't know them. But Twilight never, ever missed an opportunity to take it out on herself.

A hoof tapped gently on Dash's shoulder, and she turned around to see Applejack standing behind her, mask and hat discarded. Dash wondered when she'd arrived; the spectacle in front of her had monopolised her attention.

“Whut in tarnation is goin' on?” the farmer hissed.

“I think the world is ending.”

Ignorant to the whispers of the crowd and her friends, Present Twilight glared at her future self, nostrils flaring and tail swinging. “Fine. You know what? Give me whatever silly warning you want to give me. The sooner you do, the sooner you can get out of my timestream.”

“Finally, you shay shomething smart! Geesh, am I always this bad?” Future Twilight asked, and cleared her throat. “Ahem! I, the Twilight of the Future, bring a dire warning to myself, Dumb Shtupid Twilight of the Past. Whatever you do, and whatever you shee, you must not kish her!” she said, pointing an unsteady hoof at Rainbow Dash.

A deadly quiet claimed the room. You could have heard a pin drop, if not for the fact that the silence would crush the sound beneath its weight. Dash allowed her mouth to hang open.

“What,” she said flatly.

“Oh, yes. Fantastic contribution, Rainbow Dash. A well thought-out argument, eloquent and persuasive. At the risk of sounding unoriginal: what?” Present Twilight asked.

Future Twilight nodded sagely. “Trusht me, it getsh pretty tempting in about half an hour. An' if you do kiss her, not sho mush tongue thish time. You'll make a fool of yourself.”

“So, hold on a darn minute. Twi's gonna kiss Dash?” Applejack asked, with the tone of a pony who is quite sure they're dreaming and that they'll wake up any moment.

“She was, but I came back and warned her. Unless… That's what givesh her the idea to do it?!” Future Twilight said, as if the idea had only just dawned on her. Abruptly, she rounded on her past self once again. “This alwaysh happens with the time travel! Why don't you jusht learn your lesson and stop doin' it?”

“I did! I wrote a letter to Princess Celestia about it!”

“Well obvioushly you didn't, because I wouldn't be standing here! Ugh. Why am I sho stupid in the past? Now I have to use my backup plan. Where'sh Pinkie? I need to see Pinkie Pie!”

The future Sparkle concentrated, a red glow appearing at the tip of her horn; in a flash of light, Pinkie appeared with the remains of what appeared to be a rather large chocolate cake smeared around her muzzle.

“Pinkie! I am Twilight Sparkle of the future, and I need your help,” the unicorn said grandly.

“Don't listen to her, Pinkie,” Present Twilight cut in.

“No, don't listen to her. Listen to me.”

“Which me?” Pinkie asked, her innocent blue eyes wide.

“This me!” the Sparkles said in unison.

“O-kaaaay,” Pinkie said, and licked the chocolate from her lips in one big sweep of her tongue.

“Now listen, Pinkie. I need your help to shtop a huge disaster. If you do it, I'll… uh… I'll make you a member of the Time Police!”

“She's lying,” Present Twilight said.

The earth pony held up a hoof for silence, then narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “What rank?”

“Er… Sergeant! You can be Sergeant Pie!”

“But I'm already Sergeant Pie. Dashie made me Sergeant Pie,” Pinkie said slowly.

“Well, now you're Sergeant Sergeant Pie. Sergeant Pie squared, if you like,” the unicorn said, plainly amused at her own joke.

“…What do I do?” Sergeant Sergeant Pie asked. Present Twilight groaned.

“Take this potion,” Future Twilight explained, snapping the ribbon from her neck and giving the vial to Pinkie. “If you see Old, Stupid Me drink anything at all, I want you to use that potion and stop her. Don't worry about her magic, you'll be too fast for her to cast anything.”

Pinkie nodded earnestly. Satisfied that she had discharged her duty, Future Twilight allowed herself an inebriated smile and staggered over to the punch bowl. She dipped a glass in and began to drink.

“What do you think you're doing?” Present Twilight asked, incredulous. Her fury was all but palpable.

“I'm already drunk, so it doesn't matter.”

“Go. Home,” Present Twilight hissed.

The other Sparkle opened her mouth as if to protest, but thought better of it. Her past self's horn was already glowing, ready to visit any number of strange and unfortunate punishments on anypony overstaying their welcome. She shrugged, and was unceremoniously bathed in scalding blue light and howling winds; in seconds, she was gone, as if she had simply popped out of existence. The entire hall held its breath, waiting to see what Twilight Sparkle – their Twilight Sparkle – would do next.

“Pinkie?” she said, her voice strangely cheerful. “Give me that potion. Now. I promise that I won't drink any more if you do.”

“But I was meant to use it to –”

“Future Me was a little confused. She wanted you to use the potion to stop me from drinking, and if you give me the potion I'll do just that,” Twilight said patiently.

Reluctantly, as though she was bringing shame to her station as a member of the Time Police, Pinkie gave Twilight the vial. The unicorn casually opened it, took a sniff, and then swigged carelessly from the vial.

“Cold coffee,” she announced. “My future self tried to give Pinkie coffee. Of all the stupid… ugh.”

“Are… are y'all all right, Twi?” Applejack asked.

“No. No, Applejack, I am not,” Twilight sighed, and it came out with the beginnings of a sob in it. “AJ, you're in charge. I'm going home. If I don't, I'm going to do something terrible to everypony who isn't you, Fluttershy or Pinkie. And I'm not sure about Pinkie.”

She exploded into light, and vanished. The room let out a collective gasp of relief. The only ponies who didn't were Rainbow Dash and Luna.

“Oh my gosh. She was gonna make out with… I'm in so much trouble,” Dash moaned, sinking to the floor and putting her hooves over her head.

“My sister is going to be furious. Apoplectic. She hasn't told me off for a thousand years,” Luna murmured to herself. “What a unique experience tonight has been.”

“AJ? What do we do?” Dash asked.

Applejack sighed and put her Mare Do Well hat back on her head. There was still a lot of work to do before she could rest easy for the night and prepare for whatever tomorrow would bring. But then, she'd never been afraid of a little effort. “Go and tell Fluttershy that we're wrappin' up this whole shindig. Ah think we've all had enough for one evenin'. Ah'm gonna go and untie Rare. Pinkie, you go and find Spike.”

The mareless moon had reached the peak of the sky before they had finished. Some of them wished it would hang there in the stasis of time, never to descend.