Being the Royal Advisor for Celestia and Luna, you've come up with solutions for many of the nation's problems.

Unfortunately you said a naughty word in front of a guard. Seeing as how these ponies are extremely sensitive, you lie your way out of it.

The events that follow could only be described as "completely stupid".

Rated Teen for naughty words being said.

Thanks to Zephyr for editing.

Featured within 1 hour and 30 minutes on Aug 12, 2015. Thank you guys so much!

Good thing I was reading this on the toilet, because this story made me lose my shit. -LeoneHaxor

When a colt named "Bad Dude" storms into Celestia's personal study and declares himself as her latest arch enemy, the Princess can't help but nearly gush from the sight. As perhaps the cutest villain Celestia has ever encountered, she hurriedly calls for Luna to meet him as well.

But is there more to "Bad Dude" than his cute exterior would suggest?

No. No there is not.

Now with a youtube reading! HERE!

A human stays among ponies, mystifying them with his odd traditions and customs. It will be five years before Celestia and Twilight can send him back to his homeworld. Until then, Twilight wants to study him and have him experience pony culture. These are their stories.

An object of unknown origins crash lands in the no-pony's land between Equestria and Gryphon territory. Princess Luna and Twilight Sparkle race to beat the Gryphons to the crash site, but discover more to the crash than they originally thought.

During a lull in the conversation at an upper class charity dinner, Rarity takes a moment to contemplate some commonly held assumptions made of Princess Celestia. Specifically, her table manners.

In the wake of the Canterlot Wedding, Fluttershy has to ask Twilight a very difficult question.

Now available in spanish! Spinoff stories can be found in Would It Matter If I Made This Group?

Now with a TVTropes page.

Scansion has a problem. The poems that flow from his pen at night are the most beautiful he's ever written, but he doesn't remember writing them. Drawn ever-deeper into an exchange of letters with a voice that speaks only through his work, he must discover the truth: Is the lonely, recently-returned goddess of the night reaching out to him in the only way she can, or is he chasing shadows?

* Now with a dramatic reading by Neighrator Pony! *
* Chinese translation: 女神 (Thou Goddess) by 卷耳 (estiMaDashie)! *

Holy crap you guys. What have I unleashed? Here's a sample of the word-of-mouth blogstorm that drove it to the feature box out of nowhere:
"This is the best thing I've read in a long time." –Bad Horse (rated: sitewide Top 10)
"'Thou Goddess' is magical and transcendent all the way through." –Skywriter
"[P]oetic beauty. There is scarcely a height of acclaim I would not believe it deserves." –Causal Quill (rated: sitewide Top 10)
"[C]hock full of splendid poetry … a jaw-dropping piece of prose and one of the best fics I have ever had the privilege to read." –Present Perfect (rated: sitewide Top 15)
"I shall keep this brief, because I must finish weeping before lunch is over. This is gorgeous, and has utterly deserved every accolade it has received." –Blue_Paladin42 (rated: sitewide Top 5)

Winner of AugieDog's "Nocturnes" Luna story contest! | Featured on EqD!

Further reviews:
"This is a remarkable fic, beautifully written ... quite simply, dazzling." –Louder Yay (rated: ★★★★)

If the title sounds grammatically incorrect, please read this.

Two passengers on a train ride toward an uncertain future. One is a pony. The other only pretends to be.

Sex is tame and non-explicit. Don't be afraid to read.

Written expressly for Equestria Daily's Outside Insight Summer Fanfiction Contest.

Now with a dramatic reading by Illya Leonov!

Russian translation courtesy of Arsus.
Chinese translation courtesy of viczhn.
French translation courtesy of BroNie.

Inspired by the artwork of RubleGun and Raddjuret. Musical accompaniment by Patrick Poe.

Featured at Equestria Daily and the Royal Canterlot Library.

Reader Testimonials

"Vinyl + Octavia is one of the fandom's most cliché and mismatched pairs, and yet this is a real romance with genuine depth and emotion." - horizon
"Holy shit this is impressive. Like... Holy shit, man." - Skeeter The Lurker
"You have crafted something wonderful here, a true gem. You should be proud." - Illya Leonov
"Note that I hate this ship when I say this is far and away the best ScratchTavia I've ever read." - PresentPerfect
"Fuuuuck it's so good!" - Luminary

Twilight asks Celestia for romantic advice.

You know, for a friend.

There is now a Spanish translation of this story, courtesy of Spaniard Kiwi

Silver Spoon spins the bottle and becomes rather distraught when it lands on Button Mash instead of — well — anypony else...