Seven minutes in hell
Silver Spoon didn't know how much time had passed since that closet door closed, but it was all the time Mash's pungent geekiness needed to foul the air inside of the small space. It felt as if hours had passed. Possibly a whole day. The time had to be up by now. She looked at Button Mash. She had no desire to communicate with him, but she had to know what time it was. "Hey. Dork. Does that stupid toy of your tell the time?"
"Yeah, I took the sweet tarts out of the zeppelin and replaced the sack of hedgehogs with my mom's birth control pills," Button Mash muttered in response, his eyes reflecting the light of his screen - entrancing him - drawing him in. It was like every fiber of his being was immersed in the digital confines of his game, leaving only a husk that was unable to piece together a coherent sentence.
Silver Spoon's eye twitched. She hated this little twerp, but there was one thing in the world that she hated even more than him: being ignored. "Hey! I'm talking to you, you slack-jawed, video game-addicted vegetable!"
An up beat chip tune played as the colt tapped a button at the center of his Joyboy. The game locked up, as if the world within was frozen in time. Button Mash liberated his statue-like gaze from the screen to give Silver an odd smile. "You know," he said in that obnoxious, nasally voice of his, "for a figment of my imagination, you sure do talk a lot."
"A figment of your..." Silver Spoon cocked her head sideways, utterly perplexed by the odd statement. "You are so freaking weird..."
A bright smile lit up on the young colt's face. "Why, thank you!"
"It wasn't a compliment!" Silver Spoon snapped. "What time is it? How long have we been in here?"
Button Mash meddled with some buttons on his Joyboy to bring up the clock app and said, "We've been in here for approximately... Thirty seconds."
"Thirty seconds!" The dejected filly whined as she allowed herself to fall belly-down to the ground in a fit of hysteria. Writhing in her misery, she folded her forelegs over her face and lamented, "I don't know if I can do this. I'd rather be trapped in here with a rabid Orthros than you!"
"That's a bit... Harsh." Button Mash mumbled without bothering to look up from his screen.
Silver Spoon ceased her pouting and peered up at the murmuring colt from over her arms. "Speak up!" she barked.
"What do you have against me? You seem to really, really dislike me for some reason. What have I done to make you not like me?" Button, once again, could not be bothered to break his gaze from his game, but the tone in which he spoke seemed to be laced with legitimate curiosity.
"Is that a serious question?" Silver Spoon scoffed, rising to her hooves. "Look at you: you're a complete spaz - the way you always have your eyes glued to that game of yours, the strange and bizarre things that randomly fly out of your mouth, and you're a blank flank to boot! You shouldn't be asking me why I don't like you. The real question from you should be why nopony likes you period!"
"I'm aware that nopony likes me," replied Button with a stoic casualness in his voice. "But you just seem to really, really not like me... Come to think of it..." His eyes glanced up at the ceiling thoughtfully, but only for a moment, then they returned to the screen. "Girls seem to be extra mean to me. They pick on me more than even the boys do."
Silver Spoon rolled her eyes, sat back on her haunches, and sighed. "That's no surprise."
"What do you mean?"
"You're not exactly a chick magnet," stated Silver Spoon matter-of-factly. "I've heard some of the things the girls say about you when you're not around and, oh boy, you think I'm the mean one? You don't even want to hear what the others say about you."
Button chuckled. "'Little do they know, I could have any girl I want. I know the secrets to seduction. My technique is flawless. I've been practicing for years."
The corners of Silver Spoon's mouth stretched out in a condescending smirk as she was now utterly amused by the geeky little colt's proclamation. "Okay," she said doubtingly, "you have my attention."
Button Mash peered up at her from his game. "Didn't I already have your attention?"
"This 'secret technique' you have been honing for years, that has the power to make any girl yours. I seriously have to see this."
Pausing his game, Button cocked an eyebrow in a swaggering smile. "Really? I'm not sure if you can handle it. It's almost too powerful in person."
"Oh, yes!" the skeptical filly snorted, her sarcastic eyes shimmering pleadingly. "Please, sweep me off my hooves with your... Manly... Uh... Rugged... Whatever it is you think you got going on for you..."
Button Mash smiled, his eyes narrowed provocatively. "Okay, but you asked for it!"
"Yes." The incredulous filly crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall behind her, fortifying herself, as if she were waiting in anticipation for the punchline of a hilarious joke. "Yes, I did."
The colt placed his game ever-so-gently on the ground in front of him, as if it were a baby, or some kind of precious treasure. He then produced a strange looking device from seemingly out of nowhere.
Still unamused, though genuinely curious, Silver Spoon's forehead wrinkled as she raised her eyebrows and queried, "What's that?"
"It's an Ocarina," Button smirked.
"An oca-whatsit?"
"An Ocarina." The colt repeated as he gave her a seductive sideways glance. "Chicks dig a dude with mad Ocarina skills." He then placed his mouth on the device, closed his eyes, then swayed gently from side-to-side as he played three notes repeatedly. "You like that?"
Silver Spoon remained impassive. "What in tap dancing Celestia's name was that?"
"That's called Epona's song." Button Mash informed, deepening his voice as much as his prepubescent vocal cords would allow in an attempt to make it sound smooth and velvety. "And I can play that one for you all day, girl. Ahhh yeahh." He continued to play the device, his narrowed eyes locked provocatively on Silver Spoon as he occasionally nuanced to other melodies, most of them composing of three basic notes.
The filly slowly shook her head, her eyes wide with a combination of disbelief and agitation. "It's like your very presence is giving me cancer..."
"Cancer?" Button looked urgently at his Ocarina, then turned a concern gaze back to her. "Do you want me to play the song of healing for you?"
Silver Spoon groaned as she slid down the wall into a sitting position, placing her head in her hooves. "Diamond Tiara, what did I ever do to deserve this!" she sobbed. "You could have locked me in here with Snips. You could have locked me in here with Snails. Heck, you could have locked me in here with a freaking leper... But no... I got Button Mash!"
Button Mash's Ocarina reached a high note as he abruptly ceased playing. "Diamond Tiara?" he asked.
"Yes!" Silver Spoon snapped impatiently. "Diamond Tiara!"
"You're making it sound as if this is all her fault. I mean, sure, this game was her idea, but you didn't have to play."
Silver Spoon sighed exasperatedly, keeping her face firmly planted in her hooves. "Diamond Tiara tricked me into playing this game... Said the bottle was rigged to land on Rumble."
"How do you rig a bottle?"
"I don't know, okay? I just believed her!"
Button Mash took a seat at the opposite end of the closet from where Silver Spoon sat. She could hear the colt resuming his game as the sounds of battle and blood letting once again filled the dark room. "She's your friend, isn't she? Why would she do that to you?" he asked.
"Because, she knows I like Rumble," Silver Spoon frowned. "And she likes him, too. So she tricked me in order to eliminate me as her competition... And now here I am, stuck in here with the most annoying little dweeb on the planet. And to make things worse, she'll most likely cheat in order to have her alone time with Rumble... She'll probably go as far as to brag about it tomorrow, too."
Button mash continued to play his game, but something was suddenly different in his eyes. He was grimacing. It was like he was formulating something, piecing something together in his head. He looked less like he was focusing on his game, and it looked more like he was deep in thought. "Are you on speaking terms with Sweetie Belle, by any chance?" he suddenly asked.
"That blank flank?" Silver Spoon frowned in revulsion as she spat the word like a curse. "I don't associate with blank flanks. Which reminds me, you're a blank flank. So maybe we should stop associating?"
"So that's a no." Button concluded.
"Yes."
"So it's a yes, then?"
"No! I meant, no, I'm not on talking terms with Sweetie Belle, okay?"
"Alright, then," Button Mash chuckled mischievously.
Silver Spoon cocked her head to the side. What was that weird little colt thinking about? She pondered over what the intent behind his question and his odd behavior could be until his next statement knocked her for a loop.
"You frown a lot. Especially when I'm in the room. I wish you could at least a fake a smile for me just one time. I think you're cute when you smile."
Silver Spoon rolled her eyes. She knew she was cute, she didn't need some spazoid to tell her that! But it still somehow caught her off guard. Was this his weird little way of trying to come on to her? She looked down, her hair covering her eyes so as to not risk their gazes meeting. She didn't want to talk to him anymore. The little twerp was beginning to give her the creeps.
There was a long, awkward silence of nothing but the sounds of Button Mash's game until he finally said, "Time's almost up."
"Thank Celestia!" The relieved filly sighed. "How much time left?"
"One more minute."
Silver Spoon picked her self up and dusted herself off. "Don't think this hasn't been a little slice of heaven."
"Hence the name of the game," chuckled Button Mash.
As Silver Spoon stood there, ready to bolt the very second the time was up, her mind went back to what Mash had said to her only a few minutes ago. Why did he tell her she was cute? That compliment came so far out of left field. She glanced down at him. The little creeper's eyes were as they always were: glued to that stupid Joyboy of his. She hoped the deranged little weirdo wasn't developing a crush for her. He was definitely strange enough to be one of those stalker types.
Button paused his game and stood up, ready to follow her out of the door.
"Listen to me," Silver Spoon jabbed Button Mash in his chest with the edge of her hoof. He just stood there and smiled at her like he was amused by the gesture. "Nothing happened in this closet between us. Nothing! So I better not hear that you've been going around the school telling everypony differently!"
"Don't worry, I wouldn't do that," Button Mash assured.
"You better not!"
"I won't!" Said the colt defensively. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" He swung his arm and struck himself in the eye with his hoof to illustrate his oath. Button stood there, motionless, his hoof buried deep in his vulnerable cornea. It took a full three seconds for the fallacy of his actions to register in his mind. Then, after a calm, deep breath, he suddenly cried in pain and collapsed to the ground, writhing in his self-inflicted agony.
Silver Spoon's eyes widened in surprise.
"My eye!" he wailed as he tossed about in hysterics. "This is the worst pain ever!"
Silver Spoon, thoroughly amused by the clumsy colt's antics, broke into musical string of giggles. She held a hoof over her mouth in a vain attempt to restrain her mirth, but it was of no use.
"It's not funny!" Button insisted as he wiped a tear from his eye.
"No, no it isn't," chuckled Silver Spoon. "It's hysterical! You're such a clumsy little dweeb!""
Suddenly the closet door flung open. The two young equines squinted as the light from outside burned their retinas.
"Alright, you two, time to give somepony else a chance!" Diamond Tiara's voice rang out.
When Button and Silver's eyes adjusted to the light, they could see that the fillies and the colts were all crowded around the closet, their eyes gleaming with anticipation as to what may have occurred within the confines of the closet during the seven minute time span. Diamond Tiara shoved her way to the forefront of the throng. She looked down at Button mash, who still lay sprawled out on the ground, then she looked at Silver Spoon, who stood over him still half-smiling.
"Geez, Sil," Said Diamond Tiara, sounding impressed yet horrified, "I know you don't like him, but you didn't have to hurt him."
"I didn't!" Insisted Silver Spoon. "He did that to himself."
"Whatever." Diamond waved a dismissive hoof. "Truth be told, his face is in better condition than I thought it would be in after being locked in there with you."
Silver Spoon narrowed her eyes. Was that supposed to be a joke? That wasn't even clever. "Haha," she laughed humorlessly. It was then that Silver Spoon felt overwhelmed by a strange emotion. She didn't like being tricked, and the way Diamond carried on as if Silver's seven minutes in hell had never happened was infuriating. The fact that Diamond herself was the one who orchestrated the whole thing further compounded the wound. It was like adding oil to a fire that was already burning inside of her. Silver's face turned red, her glasses steamed up, and she gritted her teeth until a feeling clawed at her innards. The emotion she felt was a desire for retribution. She didn't like the idea of enacting revenge on a friend. She doubted she would even get away with it. Diamond Tiara had ways of making you pay if you aroused her ire. She was extremely vindictive, and even petty at times.
Button Mash suddenly wedged himself between the two fillies as if he had something to say.
"What do you want, dork?" Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara said in unison.
Button smiled sweetly at Silver Spoon, making her feel uneasy. He then turned toward Diamond Tiara - his visage hardening into that of a wild beast. He jabbed his hoof mere inches away from Diamond's face, which made her flinch back. It was then that he spat in a deep and guttural tone that almost didn't sound like his.
"BortaS blr jablu'DI' reH QaQqu' nay'"
A wide-eyed Diamond Tiara, after several seconds of stunned silence, finally said, "What?"
Button's face softened again into that carefree, whimsical smile of his. "Look it up," he advised before turning around and making his way through the stunned crowd, toward the table upon which sat the refreshments.
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How do you translate Buttonese... or whatever that language is called?
The translation (I think it's in Klingon from Star Trek) to "BortaS blr jablu'DI' reH QaQqu' nay'" literally translates to: Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Hey look! Klingon! I wonder why this story is incomplete?
Nice Klingon phrase, for those who are curious regarding the meaning here it is
4996316
"Revenge is a dish best served cold"
its Klingon
4996348
You're wrong
Means
When cold revenge is served, the dish is always very good
Very close though
WOOT! UPDATE!
4996405 K. Thanks!
4996403 Where did it originate, and is there a dictionary?
...I want more
4996436
I don't know, saw the phrase in this story and just pasted it into google
I'll be honest with you. If I was a girl, and a boy started playing Zelda music for me, our clothes would be off so fast we'd burn to death from the friction.
Well, that was a weird chapter. I liked it. But geez, Sil, you take things way too seriously if you think DT would do something to actually risk losing you. Alls fair in love and war as they say! xD
Geez, DT. You actually have no faith in Silver. Trying to get Button killed or something?
I guess Button asked that one question about SB to see if she'd rig the bottle for her, but wouldn't ponies notice the magical glow? It'd surely end up with Sweetie Belle somehow screwing up no doubt anyways and make the bottle land on herself or make it stand straight up then point at Snips or Snails.
Geez, girls never change. Always saying the meanest things because a boy pays them no attention or whatever. Poor Button Mash, colts don't like him and girls despise him. I wonder what will happen if Silver ever gets wooed by him.
4996381 Well, likely because the 7 Minutes in Heaven is a game that ALL of them are playing. And it's FAR from over I suppose. Gotta give some of the other fillies a chance to get embarrassed too I guess.
In a weird way, I hope DT does get Rumble and finds he's actually as or more dorky than Button Mash when she actually gets to know him. DT and SS dating Rumble and Button Mash, respectively, and maybe lead to Button making at least some friendship with Rumble would be cool. Though I don't see that happening here.
Button and Silver have unfinished business with DT. Sil was silly to believe one could 'rig a bottle' without magic, though I'd never underestimate DT's potential, but she'll no doubt wanna win Rumble or question if that's what she really wants. Someone who looks cool or someone who makes her laugh. Kids are superficial and go for what is seen as most accepted and popular so it could work well as a conflicting emotion within Silver to have these thoughts of wanting Rumble but feeling the good kind of weird towards Button.
So, yeah, I imagine the writer has some ideas where he wants to take this I guess. That or he really did forget to end the story.
4996348 the Klingon phrase can be simplified to "Recent is a dish best served cold" but literally means "The dish is always excellent when cold revenge is served"
button mash is cool. his attitude that is... he's nerdy but at least he's socially independent XD
can't wait for more
Ohohohoho, way to go Button!
I swear this colt has more swag than all the other colts and stallions in Ponyville combined.
omg lol Button Mash is so freakin awesome.
I think Button just did Silver a solid with that last move.
Also:
Pffffff
What the heck?! That is the funniest, most random statement i've seen in ages!
Most excellent update!
Alright, you now fully have my attention. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Now I really can't wait for the next chapter. I'm sure Silvy wants to have her revenge.
derp, accidentally posted a Coco Pommel with an assault rifle.
I guess you can say she may have been a bit miffed about missing out on all those times ponies refused to let her play 7 Minutes in Heaven. xD
"WHY WON'T ANYPONY GO INTO THE CLOSET WITH ME!?"
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2014/229/1/b/cutie_with_gun_by_pandramodo-d7vk6xo.png
Coco Pommel has childhood traumas.
Oh well. lol my bad. Should of just edited the last to be this than delete it :P
Tsk, tsk, tsk... All you amatuers and your 'Klingon' nonsense. The code is clearly in Al Bhed! Here, I'll translate it now
"PyhdeM pch vepco'TU' hiN XeXxo' rea"
... Clearly this must be a multi-step code
Anywhom, as for Silver Spoon's revenge... *crosses fingers* Have the bottle land on Apple Bloom, have the bottle land on Apple Bloom...
I'm liking this story. I'm really liking this Button too.
even those known for something they do they can still Surprise us all in many ways
I find this clip is surprsingly relevant to the end of this chapter.
But I am eager to see this continued. Good work
well maybe this is starting to be a better pairing then sweetibell and Button for me. I mean i don´t think they fit that perfect. But well maybe i like er...Silverbutton? Silvermash? Buttonspoon? I think it could be called Silverbutton, at least it sounds like it would make sense.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See, Ma?! Button gets it! BUTTON MASH UNDERSTANDS!
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Button mash is yus
Revenge is a dish best served cold...and it is very cold in space--wait, sorry, this isn't Wrath of Khan.
Curious to see just what it is that Button's got planned. Because it's obvious he's got a plan; subtlety is not his strong suit.
4996836 Al Bhed? Pfff... What a dork.
4996659 Sounds like a perfectly reasonable course of action for the average adventure game. Though I can't say I've ever played one with this particular course of action, the general moon logic is definitely there.
4996436 Sorry if I'm intruding on your conversation, but yes, there is a Klingon dictionary. But the best and most fun way to learn the language it is to pick up the book titled "conversational Klingon" off of Amazon. It's available in print, digital, and audio.
4998097 I don't have any money.
According to Bing Translate, Klingon to English:
"Blr bortas was a goodly served black-eyed"
hmmm... philisophical, that.
I like the way you made Button in this chapter, I can't wait to see the next chapter!
4997966
I thought Bravely Default was a bit random, but that took the cake. If someone were to point me to a game with that line of diaglogue, that course of action, i'd probably buy it with no questions asked and no complaints given.
Silver Spoon, thoroughly amused by the clumsy colt's antics, broke into musical string of giggles.
Someone should steal her glasses and see how funny it is.
a clumsy little dweeb!""
a clumsy little dweeb!"
"BortaS blr jablu'DI' reH QaQqu' nay'"
*looks up it*
"Revenge is a dish best served cold."
Guessing Mash doesn't like cheaters.
Wow, this is developing nicely. Before, you had my interest; now, you have my attention.
Also, was that a TWGOK reference, perchance?
4996348 I believe it's actually "My vengeance upon you shall be as elaborate as the ridges on my latex forehead. "
5007822 H
E WAS RIGHT. LOOK A T THE NEXT CHAPTERS TITLE.
4998097 I have that dictionary ^.^
"Revenge is a dish best served IMMEDIATELY."
PLease tell me he's going to go all 'The World God Only Knows' on her.
When you say orthros you mean like from Final Fantasy? If so that is so coodorkometerool! Just kidding! Seriously that was well placed!
Now he's just messing with her.
Wow. Two more points of his Dorkometer Scoots. He's just full of them.
Ohh Lordy. He's already turned it on Silver. The whole 'disinterested geek' thing IS part of the charm.
How has no-one posted this video yet?
᚛ᚚᚑᚌ ᚋᚑ ᚈᚆᚖᚅ᚜