Human Rituals
The Star-Spangled Banner
(3 Months Since Arrival)
“Thanks for coming,” I said. “It means a lot.” The orange farm pony stood next to me with a mix of polite uncertainty. We’d picked a nice open spot in the apple orchard. The moon hung lazily in the sky and I planted the stabilizer stalk in the earth.
“It ain’t no problem sugarcube. So uh… what’re we doin’ out here, huhm?” Applejack hadn’t spent much time with me alone, much less in the dead of night. But it was summer and the nights were short, so we did have to wait until rather late at night.
Brushing my bangs out of my eyes, I unfolded my little paper. Checking the night sky for a moment to make sure there were no passing pegasi, I smiled. Clearing my throat a little, I paused and looked over at Applejack. “Have you got my…?”
“Right here,” she said, fishing a tiny three by five inch flag out of her saddlebags. Stick in her teeth, she gave it a little wave and I smiled.
“The Fourth of July was always a big deal at my house,” I told her. Applejack’s calendar had neither a July nor a holiday on the fourth of it, but after some long conversations with Twilight I’d made some rough guestimate of the proper day.
The purple mare had exploded with curiosity, wanting to know if it was the date of another one of my ‘human rituals’. Like she’d never heard the word 'holiday' before. But then again after comparing Valentine’s Day to Hearts and Hooves Day, and Christmas to Hearthswarming, I’m sure ponies had rough equivalents of a few other things. But five years was a long time for a reality-ripping mana crystal to charge and send me home to another universe, so I could certainly hold my own traditions while I was a guest among these strange magical horses.
“What’s it about?” Applejack wanted to know.
“There was a naval battle,” I told her, slowly sitting down. She did the same. The hilltop was nice, and it overlooked much of Sweet Apple Acres.
“A battle?” She said. “Are you a war hero or somethin’?”
“Oh no no, it was… about two hundred years ago,” I paused to do some mental math. “Somebody penned a poem in the middle of a war, sitting on a ship that was bombing one of his own people’s forts. But despite the bombardment the fort stood, and the flag of his country stayed over it. Or… somethin’ like that,” I told her.
“Sounds mighty violent,” Applejack set the flag in her hoof and put it next to my stabilizer stalk. Opening the rucksack Rarity had given me, I gently strung the bottle rocket to it. Pinkie Pie had gotten it for me out of her ‘more dangerous party supplies’ shed. Ponies didn’t have fireworks often, but even the strange pink mare knew they had to be kept dry and safe from smaller hands. Er, hooves.
“It was,” I nodded.
“And you celebrate this every year?” Applejack wanted to know.
“Yep,” I said.
“By shootin’ off more explosives?”
“Well when you put it like that,” I grumbled at her.
Applejack’s muzzle rumpled, “Er, I guess everypony’s got their own odd traditions. S-so what’re we doin’, huh?” She backpedaled a little.
“Well normally I’d host a barbecue, have friends over, hang flags everywhere and all that good stuff. For patriotism?” I nodded at her, smoothing out my paper.
“Yeah?”
“But this isn’t my country, so it’d be kind of rude to hang flags from my home all over your home,” I smiled a little awkwardly. Applejack returned the expression, nodding her understanding. “So here I am with one little flag, and one bottle rocket. Guess I’ll have to skip the burgers and such since all you ponies don’t eat meat.”
“Spike eats meat, you could’a had him over,” Applejack interjected.
“Maybe, but I trust you to be more mature about it than him,” I said without looking at her.
“Oh,” Applejack took off her hat for a moment. “Them’s mighty kind words of you, sugarcube.”
I gave a loud sigh, not wanting to drag it out all night. “Anyhoo, Here we go.” I stood at the hilltop looking up at the moon, then turned a bit. With only Applejack there to hear me, it wasn’t too embarrassing to sing the Star-Spangled Banner. But it meant something to me to at least have a witness. “Match?” I asked softly.
Applejack gave me the pony-sized matchbox. I struck one and lit the bottle rocket. We quickly stepped back and it screeched into the sky. Boom! The red, white and blue sparks fell for a bit, then all went into silence. The orange mare gave me my little flag and I gave it a test-wave. She smiled, sympathy in her eyes. “That it, sugarcube?” she asked kindly.
“That’s it,” I said. “You can go if you want, I just wanted to make sure I didn’t start any fires or anything without anyone around.” I twisted the tiny flag around and around the little six inch pole until it was tight.
To my surprise Applejack sat next to me and put an arm around my shoulder. “Rarity make that for you?” she asked after a time.
I nodded. “I cleaned out her gutters. Didn’t even need a ladder. Your homes are so small compared to me,” I snickered. I sighed a little though, homesick. “Not that I don’t appreciate your company.”
“Ya’ll’re always welcome,” Applejack said. “And if all hyoo-muns are as nice as you,” her accent struggled with the word as Twilight’s universal translation band on my wrist shifted and warmed. “Then I can see why you wanna uphold your traditions while you’re here with us ponies.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she agreed with a genuine smile.
“Thanks Applejack,” I smiled and scrubbed at her mane. Her muzzle rumpled and I quickly let go with an awkward grin. “Sorry, still fighting that habit.”
“S’okay. I reckon I got my own dose of culture for the night, bein’ a part of a hyoo-man patriotism ritual,” She coughed once and put her hat back on. “Anyhoo, I better put up for the night. Can ya find yer way home with this?” she gestured to our unlit lantern.
“Yes,” I nodded. Twilight, living in a castle, had the highest roof and was the only one with a dwelling big enough for my ‘awesome height’, according to her. Even Fluttershy had yielded after this reasoning, though she’d wanted such an ‘exotic creature’ to stay with her. “Goodnight,” I waved a little.
“G’night!”
I made my way home, giant among the little houses that I was. With the average stallion standing about three feet tall, I towered over most of the structures. It made money easy to make, doing gutters and other simple roof stuff, but I had to sit on my legs most of the time so I wasn’t as intimidating. One thing I’d learned pretty quickly; ponies could panic, and when they panicked in groups they stampeded.
Arriving at Castle Friendship I took off my shoes and set them next to the door. Then I waited. Five, maybe ten minutes later, Twilight ‘arrived’ home. “If you wanted to come,” she jump-startled at my voice. “You could’a just asked.”
“Yeep!” she scampered to one side like a startled cat, back arched and wings up. “I-I just didn’t want to interrupt your ritual! You asked Applejack to come, not me! I-I just wanted to observe! I hope you’re not mad!”
“I’m not mad,” I passed my hand over the top of her head as I walked past her. “Maybe you can come to the next one. Goodnight, Twilight.” I offered a tired smile, casually leaving my written paper on a bench. She’d no doubt snatch it when I was gone. A sample of human writing could be paramount to her 'other-dimensional sentient species reports'. She was adorable like that.
“Goodnight, Neig-g-g-gh!” she said. For some reason my name didn’t translate in Twilight’s magic bracelet. We never could figure out why. To me it sounded like a horse noise when they said it. When I said it, they said it sounded like nonsense too. Ah well, can’t have it all, even in a world of magic and talking ponies.
I retired, putting my translator band from my wrist to its little charging crystal next to my bed. Twilight had whipped it up in less than three days, it was very impressive. Minding the chandelier despite the high ceiling, I stretched out for sleep. Unfurling the little flag, I waved it a bit before just leaving it on my desk. It was a work of art, thanks to Rarity. I would keep it forever, I promised.
I think that I would have reminded AJ that every nation's history has its violent moments. Equestria had its pre-unification wars (both cold and hot) and the near-enslavement of the Earth Ponies followed by the war with Tirek's centaur nation shortly after unification. Every country remembers the sacrifice that made it what it is now.
An interesting (and, as far as I can tell, unique) idea that a translation system wouldn't necessarily be able to handle context-free proper nouns like people's names.
Why?
Why always American history?
I've yet to find a story to properly cover Aussie history.
You don't see any HiE fics with someone explaining the story of the ANZACs, Villers Brittoneux or any of that.
6753507
A large portion of Bronies, and subsequently fanfic writers, are from the U.S. so it makes sense that a great many stories would be U.S.-centric. You wouldn't want someone who doesn't know the history that well trying to tell it, would you?
This was nice, can't wait to see more.
6753507 Well, get to it then. I, like many Americans, are pretty lost to many nations traditions, history, or holidays. Right up a little one shot of an Aussie in Equestria. You could cut the common "Shrimp on the barby" tropes and get a legit view of things. I'd read it.
Oh I am liking this one already. Hope we get more soon.
6753465 I seem to remember a sci-fi book from the 80s (I have it downstairs, but can't remember the title offhand) where the POV character was from a starfaring race and was stranded on a planet full of bronze-age barbarian aliens. The tribe's most powerful 'sorcerer' and his apprentice wound up escorting the stranded spacefarer across a vast chunk of planet over to their base, but the one thing that bothered the guy is the natives all called him 'Purple.' In a way, it was a giant Feghoot, because at the end of the story, he find out that the translator has been translating his name into 'As-A-Color-Purple-Grey'
Spoiler: As A Mauve (say it out loud)
No stranger than the English celebrating Guy Fawkes Night with fireworks.
This is an interesting premise: this dude wanting to keep his traditions alive.
Given the subject of this chapter, I was halfway expecting this to be annoyingly patriotic in that unpleasant, overblown way, but this was nice. Felt like something an actual person might really do rather than someone posturing through their character.
Errrr... a little late to the party but I think you should make it clearer that the song "The Star Spangled Banner" that was written out of the naval battle (there was also an attack from land that night as well) whereas July 4th itself is the date the Second Continental Congress Adopted the Declaration of Independence (though independence was in fact declared two days prior).
How different. In a good way.
6754263
The Flying Sorcerers by Gerrold and Niven
Neig-g-g-gh finds himself in a prison.
"IF THOU SHAN'T SPEAKETH, WE HAVE NO USETH FOR THOU!"
"Luna, please stop yelling. I do not know this 'Baba Yetu'."
"LIES...ahem. AND SLAND'R! Mine sist'r told me 'Baba Yetu is out to geteth thou Luna '."
"Actually, slander is-"
"Art thou, 'r art thou not a spy, attempting to leadeth aroint our subjects through a cultural vict'ry?"
Neig-g-g-gh deadpans "Yes."
"ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON!!!"
"Are you trying to get another burger? You could have asked."
"HA! We art inc'rruptable, above brib'ry...wait, you'll give me more? Aye prithee doubleth with cheese! We knew thou wast a most stalwart ally!"
"My plot has been foiled!" Celestia shakes her foil-covered rump.
Neig-g-g-gh puts some burgers in the foil. Well played Xanatos.
The really smart idea I liked in this particular story so far was having the human's name fail at translation, rather than calling him some variant of "Anon." "Anon" has become stale and boring from overuse. Mistranslation is fresh and interesting by comparison.
6753507 That's odd, because I've seen an ANZAC story somewhere. On hiatus, I think, but it's there.
It could have been explained to the ponies a bit more philosophically... Maybe, "Imagine if instead of the fire of Harmony in friendship defeating the windigoes, it had been the pony tribes uniting against them, fighting to save their homes? As you celebrate the birth of your nation on Hearth's-Warming day, so I commemorate the birth of mine on Independence Day."
I think it would read better if there was space/paragraph after "arrived home".
6753507 Were a human to explain Australian history, they'd be in trouble.
"I come from a country where we are the descendants of dastardly criminals, so vile that the greatest empire of the world banished us as far away from them as possible. It is a great island, where every other creature is poisonous, water is scarce, and you can walk for days without seeing anyone. This is because even we fear our land, so 90% of us live within walking distance of the coast. Also, we are responsible for Rupert Murdoch."
Bam, straight to Tatarus.
6758012 Nah, you'd have to explain Rupert Murdoch, and after that it would probably be the madhouse rather than Tartarus.
I like the idea of human names just not translating as a way around not having a specific name, and not using 'Anon'.
Hey you're pretty good at HiE!
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw10895-download_1.gif
My family celebrates 4th of July with Independence day or Team America probably wouldn't go over very well with the mane 6; then again RD would probably love it.
I think Homer Simpson put it the best "Now to celebrate our country's founding by blowing up a small chunk of it" (Meh close enough).
6757228 I think he explained it like most of us would. He explained where the song came from, and that none of us really understand the whole 'celebrate the birth of your country by blowing a small hole in it, think. It was very natural.
I enjoyed this. As a patriotic American, I have noticed that many other Americans do not know much about out own nations founding. I blame this of the schooling system, so this depiction of a young American who loves his country and his family is realistic. It was well done, thank you for sharing it with us :)
wrvu.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/331984142_Star_Spangled_Banner_xlarge.jpeg
A whole bunch of my relatives took part in that battle. On the American side.
6760284 That's pretty cool! My family provided the cottage that the first American flag was created in. Who knew so many Bronies ancestors played vital roles in the Revolutionary War?
6755522 Annoyingly Patriotic would've been quoting Liberty Prime
EQUESTRIA, FUCK YEAH
6753465 It is interesting, but if you research, practically every name has a meaning. For example in 'What I've Become' the human character is called Alex, which translation spells render as 'Defender of People', because Alexander does mean 'defender of mankind'.
*Awkward Canadian not understanding the big deal of the holiday*
6761323
You all still have the Queen of England on your money right? And Spock on your fives?
6761323 same here
6761323 images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/a1YPwQY_700b_v1.jpg
Is this meant to be a side-story to another fanfic?
Nitpick
Sapient (thinking; like in "Homo sapiens")
as any-thing/being/animal with any kind of a brain is sentient (feeling ex. pain).
If only that story could be told in greater depth like this video.
Great story BTW.
6757226
Preach on!
6760296
My ancestors also laid out the streets of Baltimore, so it wasn't all positive
I have an observation.
Humans, (Many of them), Can survive, and even stay healthy without meat.
Some however, need it, (or a good substitute) to stay healthy.
The Dali Lama, for example, eats meat, occasionally, by Doctors orders. (Though Buddhists try not to eat meat it at all possible.)
Basically... different people, and ponies... are different.
That said, neat slice of life fic. Props.
6758960
Hey, my name is anon.
Anon?
Yes, anon. MY PARENTS HATED ME!
6761323
It is important because of this poster's video: 6767550
We are a country of people who either succeed in overcoming our faults and flaws and prejudices and problems to become better as individuals and as a nation, or we fail and either move out of the country or fade into obscurity to be ignored by everyone else. That results in Americans having a certain kind of mentality.
6753507
Who else is supposed to save the world from the coming alien invasion and zombie apocalypse?
6753465
Yeah, except the Equestrian's wars pre and post founding are implied to have been merely shouting matches and pie fights. If we go by the fight with the buffalo, for example, we can see how the ponies react to a foreign invasion (despite having more right to be there than the Equestrians) that threatens to destroy the townfolks' only means of survival. By throwing pies at them. If the buffalo just ignored the pies and kept going, the town would have died and the ponies likely would have starved. Yet, they still were unwilling to kill, even if not doing so would result in the starvation of their families.
Then there is the Canterlot invasion. In that, the Guard was armed with spears but were shown to only fight the changelings with their bare-hooves and only attempt to subdue. The changelings weren't nearly so restrained, judging by their launching of what amounts to a kamikaze artillery barrage.
6753507 I think you should write. I'm an American and Im proud of my selfish hypocritical violent arrogant country. We are totally badass.
But I am also an academic and I believe it would be fascinating to read how you would perceive Equestrian encounters with your culture. Please send me a link if you ever write it or find an already written one.
That goes for any culture. Its a hobby of mine to watch different cultures interact.
6761323 you think you got it bad? I'm English sooo...
6758012 *proud member of greatest empire in the world* Not as bad if you explained English history, Me? Oh I'm just from a country who murdered their way around the world for queen and country.
Is that how actually happened? sorry Salvatorian here
6758012 "oh, and we're OCD about life jackets while boating." (Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking)
Nationalism detected.
Leaving.
6967392
well its missing a bunch of stuff (as the 4th is about the American Revolution and the event the song inspired happened much later during the war of 1812 during the Battle of Fort McHenry
From Wikipedia:
At Fort McHenry, some 1,000 soldiers under the command of Major George Armistead awaited the British naval bombardment. Their defense was augmented by the sinking of a line of American merchant ships at the adjacent entrance to Baltimore Harbor in order to further thwart the passage of British ships. The attack began on September 13, as the British fleet of some nineteens began pounding the fort with Congreve rockets (from rocket vessel HMS Erebus) and mortar shells (from bomb vessels Terror, Volcano, Meteor, Devastation, and Aetna). After an initial exchange of fire, the British fleet withdrew to just beyond the range of Fort McHenry’s cannons and continued to bombard the American redoubts for the next 27 hours. Although 1,500 to 1,800 cannonballs were launched at the fort, damage was light due to recent fortification that had been completed prior to the battle After nightfall, Cochrane ordered a landing to be made by small boats to the shore just west of the fort, away from the harbor opening on which the fort’s defense was concentrated. He hoped that the landing party might slip past Fort McHenry and draw Smith’s army away from the main British land assault on the city’s eastern border. This gave the British a good diversion for half an hour, allowing them to fire again and again. On the morning of September 14, the American flag, which had been made a year earlier by local flag maker and her 13-year-old daughter, was raised over Fort McHenry (replacing the tattered storm flag which had flown during battle). It was responded to by a small encampment of British rifleman on the right flank, who fired a round each at the sky and taunted the Americans just before they too returned to the shore line.
'Murica! This was nice, an interesting premise, and I like the name translation failure
I hope this isn't a Anon fic. I'm going to name him Samson.