If you came to hear a story, I’m sorry to disappoint. I suspect this’ll just end up as one big confession, really. When you’re the first Teutscher to set hoof into Equestria, I suppose that’s to be expected. And when you’re the universe’s favorite chew toy, doubly so. Still, with enough wit, some Prussian ingenuity, a droll sense of humor, and wanton murder, I might just survive this. Then again, when you’re going up against an unending list of things like government conspiracies, that guardian angel who keeps telling you to kill ponies, psycho Equestrian girls with allophilia, a lunatic princess, the legions of the Inferno, the Equestrian culture itself, swashbuckling sword fights, and laissez-faire economists, you begin to realize why there’s a big “if” in the middle of your life.

Your thoughts/critiques/deathreats are welcome in the comments. Spoilers are also encouraged. If you don’t have anything to complain about, do please tell me what you liked so I know what worked.

Now on TV Tropes. Posted on the Equestria Daily 5/28/13. Now in ePub format for your convenience.

After losing out on first chair cellist in the Manehattan Philharmonic Orchestra to her biggest rival, Octavia tries to console herself with a healthy bout of moping and a strong drink. One drink soon becomes several, though, and her evening of debauchery leads to a long night of frenzied, sordid passion with her best friend Vinyl Scratch. It isn't until she wakes up in the morning with Vinyl's legs wrapped around her that Octavia remembers two very important things: one, she's straight. And two, if the infamously strict conductor of the Philharmonic finds out how unrefined Octavia's social life has become, she could lose her one and only chance at the only dream she's ever had in her life.

This could get a little bit complicated.

Cover art by CouchCrusader, who I swear to God is like fatting me up for slaughter or something with all the custom stuff he does for me.

Half-heartedly edited by NTSTS #dunked

It had been one year since Twilight Sparkle vanished in the battle against the evil unicorn Xander, and her friends were still trying to overcome the grief of losing her. On the anniversary of her presumed death, her friends gather at her memorial. What was suppose to be a day of remembrance was shattered by a strange metal object that landed right beside them. Their anger quickly turns to shock as a familiar unicorn emerges... and boy does she have a story to tell.

Rated Teen for violence, language, and sexual content. Rating and tags may change in future chapters.

This is not a Halo fic. It IS however loosely inspired by Halo as well as Star Wars, Mass Effect and several other sci-fi movies, books, and games.

Edited by Jack-Pony, HuskSummers, Coldwall, and sadron

Cover art by Sonic Rain

I don’t question the “life” bar floating over my head, or my “EXP” gauge, or the little phantasmal boxes that appear whenever I look at an “equippable” object that show its “statistics.” It’s normal for small messages to appear in the sky every now and then, such as [System update in 2 hours.] My kind worships the Developers, higher beings that direct, create, and control everything we see. It’s all normal. This is how things have always been, since I was born. My father, my grandfather, my ancestors have all accepted and coped with these elements.

So why does everything feel so... fake?

My name is Twilight_Sparkle, and I know there’s something wrong here.

Co-Written by GaruuSpike and Chaotic Dreams.

(EDIT: This story is cancelled forever because someone sabotaged all of our attempts to write. You know who you are, and so do I, and I hope you're happy for killing it.)

While Princess Luna is away celebrating Nightmare Night in Ponyville, Celestia tries on a strange black bauble from her sister's jewelry box. The result will be the creation of the most terrifying thing Equestria has ever seen. The Sun herself turns against all the ponies in Canterlot. Can Luna and her Lunar Stallions possibly hope to stop her? And if so, does Luna have the fortitude to strike down her sister in the end?

FEATURED May 16th 2012!

Princess Luna's Lunar Stallions are an elite guard force of seventy, the descendants of the originals from a thousand years ago. Her lover leads them, and they've begun to flourish and be accepted by society. But now there's a new super-power in Canterlot, and she's killing the criminal ponies she catches rather than arresting them. The descendant of Luna's avatar of WAR has emerged. Her ancestor was the one mare to ever go into battle with the Lunar Stallions, the Moon Champion. Can the Lunar Stallions stop this killing machine? Who is she?

Princess Luna falls comatose and is revived by the love-sick kiss of one of Celestia's guards. As a reward, she leads him to the ancient hidden barracks of her long forgotten guardian force. Their slowly blossoming romance gives birth to a breed of royal guard not seen in 1,000 years. The Lunar Stallions!

Fluttershy has a new computer! Rainbow Dash wants to pull a prank and decides to break her in to the cruelties of the Equestri-net in her own way.
[My first one-shot. Minor shipping elements- as a gag]
[Enjoy! I just HAD to write this.]

[No editing or proof-reading done, but did my best]

[Well damn? I got semi famous.]

The Great Equestrian Foam Sword Fight is a fabled event that happens once every fifty years. To win the event, one must incapacitate another pony using the most dangerous weapon known to pony-kind.

The foam sword.

The winner of the event is also said to win untold riches that nopony knows about. With everypony trying to win those riches, the strongest bonds will shatter, the dirtiest of tricks will be played and all bets are off. After all, there can only be one winner.

It is also one of the few times were a pony can legally knock out another pony using a piece of foam.

Tagged other due to fimficiton only allowing 5 characters.

Twilight is minding her own business, when one day a strange metal behemoth tears through her wall. Of course, it's Pinkie. And to top it all off, Discord's on the loose again. Now it's time for the Elements of Harmony to do what they do best.

Only this time, they have a tank. But not just any ol' tank, a Pinkie Pie tank.

Also, Twilight's a zombie now. And Pinkie is too. But they're good zombies, so it's cool.

A collaborative work with just4imagemails