• Published 19th Aug 2012
  • 8,850 Views, 546 Comments

The Great Equestrian Foam Sword Fight - crimsongraph

The time for ponies of Equestria to hit other ponies over the head with blunt objects has come.

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Prologue: Preparations

It was like any other day in Ponyville, the sun was shining, the water sparkling, and Ponyville was preparing for an Equestrian-wide civil war. A civil war of epic proportions involving the most painful weapon developed by ponykind, the foam sword. The weapon of mythical proportions could drop a grown stallion in a couple of deadly, and blunt, hits.

It was a great entertainment breakthrough when the sun goddess decided to found the event in 605 A.B. Said event only happens once every 50 years, few ponies ever experience two events in their life. Ever since then, seven events of epic proportion had occurred, with each a winner of unknown riches.

The winners were completely different from each other, all of them were from different background.

The first one was the very own Princess Celestia, who used her magic to wield hundreds of the blunt weapon and decimate the competition.

The second was a frail unicorn, who used magical runes to trick ponies of all kind into forfeiting the prize.

The third was an unknown peagusus, who had used stealth and precision to silently take out the targets presented.

The fourth winner was a trottingham unicorn, who had used mirrors to fool competitors before pummeling them with a rain of foam swords.

The fifth winner was a peagasus filly from Cloudsdale, who had managed to engineer a cloud that can rain foam swords.

The sixth winner was an earth pony who had managed win by not attacking anyone. No one knows how said pony won, the only response given from the pony was 'magic'.

And the latest winner was an earth pony from the city, who had bought a large portion of the foam sword business. With a large portion gone, the pony was able to cripple competitors by refusing to sell the weapon.

When confronted about the prizes, each responded it was glorious, and it was to be kept a secret. It is said that the prize is worth all of the blunt hits the foam sword can give and more.

To this day, nopony knows what the fabled prize could be. With the latest event nearing the corner, all ponies around Equestria were preparing for the legendary event. Friends would become enemies; the strongest of bonds would be tested.

There could only be one winner in this event, and everypony was furiously trying to get it. All rules are off, one can use any means necessary to knock out the competition.

This, ladies and gentlecolts, is the great Equestian foam sword fight.


"Alright, ponies. As you all know, the great Equestrian foam sword fight is nearing. Many of you have prepared for this, stockpiling all kinds of foam swords for this event," said Mayor Mare, before continuing on with the rules. "At noon, the event will begin. The competition will continue for a whole week, and anypony that does not wish to fight should leave to the nearest sanctuary. Most of the other rules are the same, once you yield to your attacker you must yell the safe word. If you are not being attacked, but get tricked into saying the safe word, you are still disqualified. The only other rule is to be careful with the foals participating in this event, a simple tap to any part of their body will eliminate them. There are no other rules, so one is able to do anything that comes to mind. The event shall begin all over Equestria in about two hours, so please make the final preparations or head to the nearest competition sanctuary if you do not wish to fight. Also, the safety word is banana."

With the speech finished, ponies set about figuring out what to do. Many went off to prepare for the competition, while few headed to the sanctuary. The six holders of harmony also set about putting the final touches on each of their own master plans. Pinkie trotted to Sugarcube corner, saying something about stuffing foam into a cannon and firing it at ponies. To the surprise of her friends, Fluttershy had also joined the competition, and was making her way to her comfy abode. Rarity was mumbling to herself about gem encrusted foam swords, pondering about the damage they could cause. Applejack was wondering if she could buck swords at ponies. Rainbow was buzzing about, dreaming how awesome the prize would be. Finally, Twilight sat in her library, gathering the knowledge of the ancients. She was doing what she did best.

Reading books.

Time ticked by as the elements set about tinkering with their plans, all of them preparing the best they could. Minutes transformed into hours, and before anypony knew it, the time for the competition had arrived. A loudspeaker blared out a countdown, signaling one minute until the event would start. Ponies hid in their homes, putting the final touches on their plans. Others set about donning armor to protect against the foamy blows from opponents. At the twenty-second countdown, ponies of all kind charged out of their homes. Most of them were prepared for the firefight that would ensue. Few smart ponies sat in their homes, waiting to pick off stragglers after the main fight.

Ten-seconds to countdown, most ponies were outside, glaring at their competitors with malice. With the timer still ticking, ponies had equipped their foam weapons. Five seconds on the clock, the mass began taking a fighting stance, their muscles tensing. The final second were filled with anxiety, as ponies of all kind glared at each other, intent on wining the fabled prize.

Once the timer hit zero, the crowd exploded into action. Foam flew through the air, loud thuds and the sound of objects hitting flesh resounded through the town. Screams of pain and ponies yelling 'banana' filled the air. The great event had begun, and would continue until a single week had passed.

The time for ponies to legally hit other ponies over the head with blunt objects had begun, and said time would be utilized to its fullest extent.