• Published 19th Aug 2012
  • 8,571 Views, 547 Comments

The Great Equestrian Foam Sword Fight - crimsongraph

The time for ponies of Equestria to hit other ponies over the head with blunt objects has come.

  • ...

Chapter 9: Of sleepy rainbows and scared fillies

-({ Under CMC's Clubhouse} 2:03 P.M)-

"And that's how we ended up here," Sweetie Belle finished explains the situation to a very confused Applejack. All of their so called explaining only led to even more questions, one of them being why they were beating a pony in the woods with foam swords. The next being why the pony did not fight back. As a multitude of other questions flocked to her mind, one of them stood out from the rest.

"Where is... here," Applejack paused and motioned to her surroundings, "exactly?"

"That's easy! We're under the tree house right now, in what we call the BAMF headquarters!" Sweetie Belle answered with a smile on her face.

"Bamf?" Applejack questioned.

"Yep! This area was a leftover part of when we tried to git out cutie marks in secret surveillance across Equestria, ah built it myself!" Apple Bloom answered.

"So, ya built all of this and called it bamf headquarters? What does bamf even mean?" Another one of Applejack's questions fired.

"Bamf is something all three of us came up with, each one of us chose a word that we liked and mashed them together. I chose beautiful, Apple Bloom chose amazing, and Scoots chose masterful. The 'f' stands for fillies!" Sweetie Bells finished her explanation.

"Okay, but why not just use cutie mark crusaders as an acronym?" Applejack once again asked.

"Because sis, it wouldn't be secret surveillance if everypony knew it was us, we needed a cool name for a secret place," Apple Bloom said.

"Well, that kinda makes sense, I suppose. As long as it's a harmless name it's all right with me. Speaking of who made the name, where's the third of y'all?"

"Ya mean Scootaloo? She's up in the clubhouse takin' care of Rainbow-" Apple Bloom was interrupted by a loud crash that came from above. As soon as the noise came, a high-pitched scream soon followed. All three of them looked to the location of the noise, before they looked back and stared at each other.

"Taking care' of Rainbow?" Applejack asked with a plain look. A short pause followed, as Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nervously looked at each other.

"...maybe we shouldn't have left her alone with Scootaloo?" Sweetie Belle half-stated half-asked.

"Ya think?" Applejack said in a sarcastic manner.

"It's Sweetie's fault," Apple Bloom blurted out, causing the white filly to glare at her. Applejack rolled her eyes.

"Stop bickerin, both of ya. There's something up there causing a ruckus, and we don't know what it is," she said and began looking around. There was a moment of tense silence as both fillies looked at her in curiosity. As the silence grew longer, the pace at which Applejack searched quickened.

Finally, Sweetie Belle asked, "What are you looking for?" With a sigh of defeat, Applejack gave up and said down with a downcast look.

"The way out..."

-({Cutie Mark Crusaders' Clubhouse} 2:00 P.M)-

The clubhouse was silence, save for the occasional ruffle of feathers from the two pegasi. Unsurprisingly, Scootaloo was still staring at Rainbow Dash, not giving a care in the world as the seconds flew by. As the enthusiastic filly continued to stare, a new noise quietly sounded. The sounds of shifting grass and snapping twigs did nothing to alert the orange filly of something getting close.

Behind a series of trees, two separate groups of ponies looked at the two pegasi. The head of the first group, a light pink mare with a blue mane looked over at the other leader, a light blue mare with a pink mane. Silently, they began to exchange a series of complicated gestures. The pink mare began to point at the cloud in front of the tree house, tiptoed in place, then thruster her hooves out and began to violently shake them.

The blue mare looked confused, repeating the same actions. Instead of violently shaking her hooves at a imaginary foe, she slowly kneaded them into the air; almost like a massage. A few seconds later, she threw a snarl on her face, forced her hooves into the air and violently turned them to the left. She looked over to the pink mare, only to find her shrugging at the actions. A short deadpan look later, both resumed staring at the two pegasi; the ponies hidden behind them growing anxious at the wait.

After a brief moment of consideration and a completely necessary full-body roll later, the blue and pink mare were united again with their backs against the tree.

"...What now?" The blue mare asked.

"Wait for it..." The pink one replied. A shift of movement caught their eyes, as the orange filly slowly got closer to the prismatic mare.


"I said wait for it."

Looking back to the pair of pegasus, the orange filly slowly started to climb the mare, stopping once she reached the area in between the blue wings. With a content sigh, she lowered her head into the rainbow mane and sat there.

"Is she... Is she sniffing her-"

"Now!" The pink mare shouted out; a stampede of hooves followed. Ponies rushed to grab their foamy weapons and charged at the element of loyalty. A series of war cries erupted from the crowd as more ponies began to surround the floating cloud. As the incoming onslaught approached, both ponies in the cloud paid them no heed.

Seconds flew by as the group of ponies formed a complete circle around the cloud. Finally, a single blue ear twitched and turned to the crunching grass beneath the rapid movement of hooves.


"By b-word she means bananas, right?" A random mare whispered from the crowd, only to topple over unconscious a second later; much to the distraught of the ponies surrounding her.

"That is why you don't say the b-word, I'm surprised the mayor forgot to read how self-disqualification works," the blue mare said, sadly looking at the fallen soldier.

"Lotus! Less sad, more angry, we can't let the enemy see weakness!" the pink mare known as Aloe yelled out, not taking her eyes off of the sleeping Rainbow Dash. Lotus shot a quick look at the sleeping ponies on the cloud, before shooting a deadpan look at her twin.

"But they're asleep."

"I don't care if they're asleep, they are still our targets and we cannot fail!" Aloe yelled out.

"Ok, first stop yelling, I'm right here. Secondly, if you haven't noticed, they. are. asleep." Lotus emphasized the last words with dramatic hoof gestures. Aloe made her first mistake and took her eyes off of Rainbow Dash to glare at her twin. Not even a second after her eyes wandered, a high-pitched scream erupted from the moving blob of pony. Soon after that a extremely distressed looking stallion ran out of the crowd and towards the direction of Ponyville. The crowd was unfazed by the commotion, they were too busy stating towards who started it.

In the center of the crowd, a lightly snoring sky blue pony draped in a orange filly held a foam sword limply in her mouth. The crowd stared silently, only for a single loud snore to break the silence.

"Oh for Celestia's sake, is she really sleeping? This is what that coward was afraid of?" Aloe deadpanned as she walked over to the sleepwalking pony. The crowd of ponies cautiously stared at Rainbow, the fear of looking away weighted heavily on them.

As if it was made to be a distraction, a wooden door opened from the ground with a patch of grass hanging limply on top of it. A trio of figures emerged from the depths, drawing the attention of the crowd.

"Sweetie, I told ya we would get out faster this way, imagine what would have happened if we followed your directions," a yellowish filly came out of the darkness, looking behind her to talk to someone. Several ponies tried to move and get a better view of the talking filly.

A blue ear twitched at the crunching grass.

"It's not my fault you built this and didn't give me and Scoots a map," an annoyed voice followed from behind. By the time she had finished speaking, the sun beat down on both of the fillies.

"Girls stop fightin', just take me to Dash and then we can why did you stop—" the last pony came out of the door and nearly bumped into the two frozen fillies. All around them ponies armed to various degrees curiously stared at the group, until their eyes landed on Applejack.

"Ptss, isn't that Applejack?" A series of whispers were said from the crowd. At the mention of her name, Applejack visibly stiffened.

"Apple Bloom, I want you to take Sweetie Belle and go back inside," Applejack faintly whispered.

"But why?" the filly replied.

"Hey, is it she also an Element of Harmony like that rainbow chick?" another pony stated from within the crowd.

"Apple Bloom, I swear to Celestia if you don't get back inside I will take your desert for a month."


"If ya finish that sentence, I'll make it a year." Apple Bloom hastily stopped speaking and shoved Sweetie Belle back into the door on the ground. As soon as the duo of fillies left, another more pink and blue duo shoved their way to the front of the crowd.

"APPLEJACK, SURRENDER OR—" Aloe was quickly shut up as a blue hoof shoved itself into her mouth.

"Aloe," Lotus strained to appear calm, "if you yell one more time I'm going to slap you. Applejack is right there, use a normal pony voice."

"But the yelling makes it better," Aloe quietly replied. "Alright, Applejack, surrender and disqualify yourself or else."

"See, was that too hard to say?" Lotus said and earned a glare from her sibling.

"Quiet you," Aloe replied.

"I am being quiet, you're the one who has to yell everything," Lotus turned her face away from Aloe and raised her shot up to the sky in a snootily manner.

"Uh, Gals? Why are you here?" Applejack cautiously stared at the twins.

"Oh, so you think your better than me?" Aloe ignored Applejack and looked straight at her sister.

"Mother did say I gave the better massage."

"I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S BETTER WITH THEIR HOOVES!" Aloe yelled out and tackled her sister into the ground. Before the feud could start, a pair of screams came from the crowd once again. Both Aloe and Lotus stopped with hooves in mid-air and looked towards the noise. This time no ponies came running out.

"OH MY CELESTIA SHE HAD THREE SWORDS NOW!" a mare yelled out from somewhere in the crowd. Temporarily forgetting their differences, the fighting duo raced to get to the center of commotion. Once again in the center stood Rainbow Dash with a foam weapon held in her mouth and in each of her now curved wings. What was surprising was the fact that the orange ball of fluff was still huddled on her back. Right beside the prismatic mare laid two unconscious ponies covered in a series of horrible welts and bruises.

Another snore came from the standing mare. "What is the matter with you foals, she is asleep! How can a sleeping mare do that to a fully aware pony!?" Lotus yelled out.

"Look who's finally yelling," Aloe muttered under her breath. A blue ear swiveled to the direction of the yell.

"How can a fully grown mare sneak past the eyes of a hundred ponies, who are suppose to be capturing said mare in the first place! I can't believe the lot of you let that happen," Lotus finished just in time to see a blue blur fly directly towards her. Not a second later, she flew to the ground and barely managed to catch a glimpse at her attacker. Rainbow Dash now stood sleeping over the unconscious and battered form of Lotus.

-({Under CMC's clubhouse} 2:20 P.M)-

"Apple Bloom, why did we listen to your sis and go back, it was getting interesting out there!" Sweetie stared angrily at Apple Bloom, who silently stared at the door separating her from Applejack.

"She threatened me with mah disserts," Apple Bloom said, continuing to stare at the wooden hatch.

"Who cares about some stupid desserts, we could be out there seeing what's going on." As soon an Sweetie Belle finished talking, Apple Bloom gave her a death glare, almost as if daring her to insult desserts.

"Sweetie, mah disserts are serious business, don't ever call them stupid again." She finished her glare and reined staring at the wooden door. A long period of silence followed.

"Can we at least take a quick peek outside?" Sweetie Belle meekly asked, not wanting to feel the country filly's hate again.

"Ah guess a quick peek won't hurt... Just don't make a sound and we might git away with it," Apple Bloom motioned Sweetie to follow her to the exit. Wordlessly and as cautiously as they could be, both pairs of hooves slowly raised the wooden hatch up just enough so that they could see outside. As soon as both of them gazed outside, a blue mare with a pink mane limply fell in front of their little peephole.

Disregarding everything Apple Bloom said, they screamed like the little fillies they were and carelessly bolted out of their hiding place.

-({Cutie Mark Crusaders' Clubhouse} 2:30 P.M.)-

"Applejack!" a pair of crying fillies shot out of the area behind of where Lotus fell. They ran past the series of confused ponies who still stared at Rainbow and jump into Applejack, clinging to her neck. "Weweresittingthereboredandsweetiewantedalookandsowelookedoutsideandthentherewasadeadponyandimsoscaredsiswhatdoido!" Apple Bloom whined out to her sister while Sweetie Belle silently shivered. Applejack sighed and carefully let down both of the fillies onto the grass.

"Girls, Lotus ain't dead, she's just... sleepin," Applejack comforted the sobbing fillies as Aloe slowly made her way towards the still sleeping Rainbow Dash with a snarl on her face.

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO KNOCK OUT MY SISTER, ONLY I GET TO DO THAT!" Aloe yelled out and prepared to pounce on the prismatic mare. "PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM," she once again yelled out and jumped toward Rainbow Dash, blissfully unaware that both blue ears were pointed at her.

All it took was a dodge and a swift whack to the back of the skull for Aloe to meet her twin's fate. As soon as Aloe's body thudded against the ground, a particularly loud snore and a bit of drool escaped from Rainbow's lips.

"How in the name of— OHSWEETCELESTIAGETHEROFF!" A unfortunate mare yelled out as Rainbow beat them silly in a flurry of foam. Once again, the crowd was shocked at the speed of the attack.

"How does she do thaaaaAAAAAAAUGH!" another pony fell victim to the blue blur.

"Hold on, I think she can only attack when— MOMMY!" a stallion tried to warn the others before brought down by the barrage of foam.

"Everypony just be QUIET!" Applejack yelled out, only to be met with Rainbow Dash standing less than a foot away from her. Luckily, the crowd obediently stayed quiet. Not a second after yelling, Rainbow Dash went limp and fell towards Applejack, who grunted and managed to catch her. She looked back towards the crowd and managed to signal with a spare hoof for them to leave. As soon as the signal was given, many of the congregated ponies slowly backpedaled, not daring to take their eyes off of the sleeping mare. Due to the fact that most ponies dared not look behind them, they failed to see the bushel of twigs and fallen branches they were obliviously walking into.

All it took was a single snap for the screaming to begin.

"Sis... I'm scared..." Apple Bloom weakly whimpered out.


"Don't worry Bloom, it'll be over soon," Applejack held the shivering filly in between her legs.


"Can I also have a hug?" Sweetie Belle managed to whisper out, only for Applejack to pick both fillies up and wrap them in her embrace.


The screams fell on deaf ears as Rainbow continued to mercilessly pound running ponies into oblivion. In every visible direction ponies fled, futilely trying to get away from the rainbow menace. Each scream caused another victim, each whine signaled another defeat. From another's perspective, it would be described as a complete and utter slaughter.

Eventually a small task force desperately gathered, all of which were heavily armed and rather upset with the crushing defeat. A short meet-up and a quick pep-talk later, they had all agreed to face the monster and finally defeat her with a foolproof coordinated attack.

Naturally, they wheeled the catapult in.

One by one they loaded themselves into the arm of the machine, leaving a single pony behind in order for the catapult to be fired. A brief period of calculations later, the catapult was fired and all the ponies aboard it went soaring through the air. They armed their weapons as they prepared to land right on top of the still sleep-fighting mare, when suddenly a seemingly magical gust of air blew them away. Every time a pegasus in the flying group tried to correct their course, the wind magically pushed them back farther. By the time they realized what was going on, they were already black specks in the blue sky.

Meanwhile on the no-so-safe ground, all resistance had stopped and the last few ponies capable of running had escaped. The field was littered with twitching ponies who sported multiple bruises. In the midst of it all was what appeared to be the only survivor; a rainbow maned mare who lazily sloshed around, almost as if trying to keep balance.

After what had seemed like hours for the frightened trio of ponies, they finally dared to look up just in time to see Rainbow Dash tip over and fall into the lush grass. Wordlessly, Applejack ran towards the fallen mare.

As soon as she had gotten there, she discovered to her slight amazement that the orange ball of fluff called Scootaloo was still attached to her idol. Shoving the surprise away from the forefront of her mind, she quickly began looking at Rainbow Dash for any signs of damage or bruises. To her relief, there were none.

"Girls, it's safe now, ya can come over 'ere," Applejack motioned both fear stricken fillies towards her. Hesitantly, they both scooted towards the country mare and stared down at the sleeping Rainbow Dash.

"How is Scoots still on her, Rainbow's laying on her side and yet she's still in the same position."

"Maybe it's a pegasus thingy?"

"Girls," Applejack said, "we need to get these two back into your little house, it's not safe up 'ere. Who knows when more of those ponies will come back?"

"Alright, sis, just stand perfectly still and don't scream," Apple Bloom said and tapped her hooves twice on the ground beneath them.

"Now hold on, what do you mean by—" Applejack failed to finish before the ground beneath them fell into a newly created hole.

Author's Note:

No, this story is not dead.

There are a number of reason why this is so late.

Most of them involve school, family, and bronchitis. I will try to write more often.

Comments ( 24 )

Happy to see this updated

bronchitis affects your voice, not your hands... What sick typing method do you use? Also welcome back

I got bronchitis! Ain't nobody got time fo' that! :pinkiehappy: Still loving it!

....You still got school?

don't mess with RD's nap time:rainbowlaugh:

2874129 Maybe he uses voice recognition software to write his stuff? :twilightsmile:

1113716 So I can simply stab you? COOL!

Sleeping!Dash truly is the scariest pony.

is sleeping dash like the scp?

A sleep walking Rainbow Dash, with Scootaloo sleeping on her back, is freaking adorable.:scootangel::rainbowkiss:

"How is Scoots still on her, Rainbow's laying on her side and yet she's still in the same position."

"Maybe it's a pegasus thingy?"

That actually kind of makes sense. Some pegasi foals probably don't start out flying that well and need to be extra clingy to keep from falling out of cloud cities.

Weeping Angel style dash, love it! And Scootaloo is adorable :rainbowdetermined2::scootangel:

The utter destruction that was Pinkamiena Diane Pie still outstrips this. Though it goes to show, the elements are truly the most painful of warriors on the fields of foam warfare. They are all to be feared when their ultimate forms are unleashed.

The elements are deadly foam fighters.:pinkiehappy:

Utterly glorious combat! With weaponized foam no less!
I wonder if a nerf gun would count?

This story is fun. Don't feel bad about taking your time. Just be sure to leave clues about what happened in the last chapter if you take more than a month so we don't have to back track. *wacks reader with foam sword*

This is glorious! :rainbowdetermined2::rainbowlaugh:

This chapter gave me many laughs. I should hope to see more like it, this time with more frequency, please.

It lives! Another great chapter!

This story is just so gloriously hilariously amazing. Glad t see it's not dead.

I want to see more of bamf. That could be a whole series in itself :scootangel:

Soooooo...when do we get more chapters?


RAINBOW HOW COULD YOU?!?!? YOUNEVER TOLD US HOW EPIC YOU TRULY WERE!!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage::raritydespair:

I.....can't......even........(dies laughing)
:rainbowlaugh: :pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh:

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