Everything below here is banter. If you don’t understand it, that’s fine.
I agree, even I can hardly understand it. It’s the result of two highly volatile and apprehensive minds attempting to create a completely incredible (as in not credible) story.
Wouldn’t that be uncredible? Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk.
You know what’s sad, though? I won’t be able to squee in delight as our story receives notifications. I’ll have to keep refreshing the page to look for comments and such, like some sort of desperate facebook-addict.
I don’t like commas. They confuse me with their rules of placement. It’s as if they’re designed solely to infuriate me. I never know whether to place them or not.
They are the bane of many an author.
Myself especially, it would seem.
You spell it ‘all right’, or alright?
It depends. The correct term is “all right” if you want to be snooty, but the word alright has become so ingrained into our vocabulary that it might as well be construed as the proper terminology.
I know. I use ‘all right’ only when not in speech. But it doesn’t matter.
Shouldn’t this be below the line break? I’m sure you’ll move it momentarily.
(There’s no way confectioneering is a word. Is it?)
It is. I don’t like it though.
Then we must brainstorm an alternative. Synonym search for candy, go.
Confectioneering = engineering (but with food).
You don’t say?
{what’s the word for ‘talking unsurely’ - I forget.
I don’t know, hypothesized? Guessed? Approximated? Estimated?
No. I mean something more like ‘nervously’ incredulously? Ah. I remember.
Oh, good one.
(help me out here deathtap, make a misheard-version of chocolatier.)
okay, let me think.
Are you going to search for rhyming words on Google? That’s practically cheating.
lol. I can only think of volunteer. But that’s a slant rhyme.
Well it’s misheard anyways, so I think slant rhyme is acceptable.
Tier. As in levels? Choco Late Tier. Tear?
“A chocolate tear? That sounds sad! --that could work, I guess.
lol.
Nothing but joy going on around here. Ecstasy and bliss abound. Are you separating the messages we’re placing here, in order to establish a modicum of comprehensibility? Seems like a futile effort to me.
Every little bit helps.
Fair enough. Btw, Trinity just died. That’s where I am in the movie. But right now I’m watching... some form of eye makeup commercial. By Lancome Paris.
Best part. lol.
Now that’s just … not nice of you to say! Oh, the movie’s back on.
(I just had an idea. What if right here Discord only wants to create candy, so we cut to a scene several years later, and he’s managing a chocolate factory like Willie Wonka and all, but then he does something bad and THEN gets turned into candy-coated stone.)
Sure. I was more on the ‘all the girls become tanks and blow him up’ kinda route, but that’s good too.
Well I’m not sure whose idea is better. What’s Discord even done wrong right now, anyway?
Nothing, yet.
So wouldn’t it be kind of malicious of them to attack him unprovoked?
It’s Discord. He’s immortal.
Would that justify the attack of Chrysalis against Celestia? I think not. Even if they’re immortal, they can feel pain.
Discord’s cool with pain. He likes it. heh.
Now that’s just creepy.
Well, your version would make the fic long.
Not all that long. We can use some sort of time jump, or line break, or something, to indicate a large amount of time passing. Short bit of explanation... but what bad thing does he do in order to finally provoke his own downfall?
He uses pony test subjects for his playthings! He turns … umm... somepony into chocolate and everyone’s all like OH NO! And then the chocolate pony gets saved by the elements of harmony as a side effect while discord’s being statufied.
That could work. Or, we could do the poop thing.
NO. (Insert troll face here, you know, the one that says no with an angry face Not literally, but figuratively. :P)
He makes chocolate from his poop. That would piss me off.
...why are you so obsessed with bodily excretions... You’ve got quite a … nevermind.
lol, it’s just a recurrent shitty thing. Also, it seems to ruffle your feathers...
Yes, my feathers are so ruffled by now they’re hardly even recognizable as such. I can no longer fly. I’m completely grounded by your ridiculous ideas.
Hardy har har.
Ho ho ho.
So, go write it.
I’ll... I’ll try.
Wow, such commentary like this must seem completely incomprehensible to a third party, unaware of the context of each word.
Let them guess. It’ll make for good wonderation.
Wonderation? Whoa, I never even knew that was a word. You’ve increased my vocabulary. Well done, good sir.
It’s what I do.
That and make poop jokes.
I blanked out. I needed you.
Clearly. Can we just delete the whole crapping themselves scene? Deletion process... you engage it.
sure
What’s that youtube thing?
Video. Here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGBDWER-wUI > if you do ‘that’, it embeds the video into the story.
As an entire youtube window on the page, or just a link?
Window on the page.
Seems kinda intrusive. I mean, it’s supposed to be words, after all.
A lot of fics have it. Especially these wtf ones.
Can’t we just underline the letters in blue and make it a link?
Sure.
I’d prefer we do that. Excellent.
(How would Discord do lightning? I mean, rain is chocolate... so what is lightning?
Hm... good question. Lightning could be lemonade?
You wanna write a song?
I’m no good at that. Plus I couldn’t sing if (insert unlikely scenario here) happened to me.
We could always modify the smile song, or one of Pinkie’s other tracks.
blush, coral, flush, fuchsia, rose, roseate, salmon. Fuchsia is a bright pink.
Sounds good to me!
(How many words is this at anyways? Also, now someone has to say they never have any idea what Pinkie’s usually talking about)
around 3000
Not bad.
I thought we were writing about tanks
I’m getting to that. Pinkie’s about to interrupt Twilight’s brain munching, by bursting through the wall as a tank. With little explanation. Sound good?
Perfect. This is the greatest fic ever. T-T
OMFGOMFG I can’t breathe1
I just chuckled. It’s the same for me... I just respond to humor in a more moderate manner.
Complete opposite for me. I respond full on..
We should have Discord come back, and Pinkie blast him with magic and candy and friendship.
Fuck yeah. “Taste my sugar-coated fury!”
Should we delete this commentary?
Nah.
Then let’s press enter a lot of times to give us more room to write. Enter key activate!
You do know that we’ve used fuck and shit before, right? lol...
uhh... no? Maybe we should try and eliminate the expletives?
okie dokie lokie that means going back up and chagin’ ‘em.
ON IT. Moment.
Tear gland?
Ooh very nice. Thank you.?
Couldn’t resist. You can erase it.
Nah, it’s characteristic of the randomly insane whimsy created by contemporaneous writing twixt two authors.
Granted, that is true.
Always right up in here.
This reminds me of mspa. Microsoft Paint Adventures. Homestuck and such. The first stories were made in a certain format where the story progressed per the advice of the commentors, and the author always chose the first response as the next step in the story. With no overarching goal, it was just a load of extremely random occurrences. Maybe I can find you the link. Moment. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=1
That sounds pretty fun.
Read to your heart’s content.
You just keep clicking through it.
After this. I’ll save the link.
You reading it?
I was. lol.
Maybe we should bring in Fluttertank?
I thought Fluttershy was a tree.
Fluttertree?
Tree powers activate!
(how would a round cylinder shred books).
Speed.
Ah.
Why aren’t you writing anything?
You’re doing great. Too many chefs spoil the broth.
That reminds me of Huckleberry Finn.
Does Pinkie remain a tank?
No, that gets corrected by the elements in the rainbow glowy aftermath. Or does it? I don’t know.
I like Pinkie more as a pony.
I think I do as well. Let’s just use the Elements as a Macguffineus ex machina. Solve everything with one multicolored blast of reparations through electromagnetic radiation.
Or we could just use Celestia. Mmmm. Celestia...
Are you getting impure thoughts? Shameful, thou unholy clopper.
Yeeks. Sorry. It’s just, with her in the story, the plot will be most excellent... mmmm plot.
You’re making another sexual innuendo again. I don’t even have to ask because it’s so blatantly obvious. Get your head out of the metaphorical gutter already. And quit ruffling my feathers!
Tsk. Fine. *pouts*
Oh, there, there. I can offer you many smiles through Pinkie’s appropriately named “Come on Everypony, Smile Smile Smile” song. So... uhm... I guess... deal with it!
No. Cloudhouse is not a word. omfg.
I didn’t say anything. You just corrected yourself preemptively. I didn’t have to lift a finger. But I think I’ll let your word-creating go unimpeded for the time being.
wonderful. Let’s publish it.
Not yet, we have to edit it you fool! First we have to go through a few read-throughs correcting minor and large errors while collaborating over what can be improved, deleted, or altered, then we must read it aloud to ourselves to further guarantee assured quality. If I’m going to be given credit for this story, we’re gonna do it right!
*grumble, grumble, grumble*
Oh, hush. It won’t do any good to complain; you won’t get anything done like that. That’s the kind of laziness characteristic of a subpar author, which I refuse to believe characterizes you!
I have a 10k chapter I have to proof read...
Which suddenly gets you out of all other obligations? I should think not, say I with a sudden iron fist and zero-tolerance for distraction policy, which happens to be quite hypocritical considering my earlier departure from this story in order to watch films which admittedly weren’t even all that great.
*moans* Fine. Let’s do this.
Yes. Let’s. Now move this banter under the line break so it doesn’t clutter up the story unnecessarily. At least not in the wrong position, at least.
(Oh frick, I forgot to add in something about zombification in the end. Shouldn’t we address that?
Just say that they’re no longer zombies. I mean, if we’re deus ex’ing, might as well do it properly.
I’m dying;. I haven’t ;lol’d like this in hours.
Ah, yes, laughter. The soul’s cotton candy. Our manifestation of our inner Pinkie Pie.
you know what an ungulate is, no?
A hoofed mammal, approximately.
no, that’s what it is exactly
Well, I couldn’t just assume correctness when my data was only gained from a swift google search.
I like it. Let’s keep it.
Sounds like an argument for keeping a stray.
It’s so much pun. In two words! Never again will you have this chance.
What chance?
Actually, with this fandom, there’s going to be plenty of chances...
Are you implying that you’re never going to work with me again after this? Alas, such sorrowful farewells!
No, you silly drama queen. I’m saying that we won’t be able to use ‘horny ungulate’ like so again.
Oh, I’m fine with that. Ungulate reminds me of undulate, which reminds me of the slithering of a snake, but that’s not right. It just causes weird images to pop up in my head, though at least it’s only vague.
Chat stuff
deathtap: Oh Just a note Applejack's I's should be Ah's, no? I think I might have used I instead. Just keep an eye out for that
me: Um... okay. Found one.
deathtap: ok i read it out loud Let me check the word count without the commentary 5544 without commentary 7306 with
me: That's a lot of commentary. Rarity was outside her home, or what was left of her home, staring blankly into the distance.
deathtap: left
me: Do you think I could also say "staring BLEAKLY into the distance?
deathtap: left of her home ooh nice
me: change "left of her home" to "left of it" since there's a 'her home' earlier in the sentence?
deathtap: yep Can't believe I missed tha
me: Why'd you capitalize Unicorn?
deathtap: that
me: Nvm I fixed it. Hey.
deathtap: nah sentence already implied new
me: With an attitude or look of suspicion or disapproval: "the reformers looked askance at the mystical tradition". Think "looked askance" might be a good addition somewhere? Never mind.
deathtap: askance? Doesn't that mean sideways?
me: Oh, yeah.
deathtap: It's a similar expression to deadpanning
me: But like I said, "Her mouth hung open, clearly traumatized" Her mouth-- clearly traumatized
deathtap: horrified
me: Boom. Ah. Sorry.
deathtap: is cool
me: Wouldn't "horror" fit better though, then "trauma"
deathtap: they almost mean the same thing horror is fear
me: Hm, you're right, trauma fits.
deathtap: trauma is more mental scarring
me: Onwards with the editing.
deathtap: I don't like 'said'.
me: It's interesting the extents to which we go to avoid that word. No, not delivered. added to embellish or enhance an argument continued to further an earlier point stated to say, usually confined to quotes or paraphrases from documents, or to official statements announced to declare publicly or formally asserted to state positively, with great confidence but no objective proof commented to make a remark to explain, interpret, or criticize declared to make known clearly and openly observed to mention casually remarked to make a brief, casual statement of opinion reported to give an account of; to carry message; to give a formal statement No, that's no good. http://thecaveonline.com/APEH/said.html Ooh, good one.
deathtap: haven't used that one in a while
me: the "ing" and "an" endings together seem kind of odd.
deathtap: happy?
me: Two befores. That should do it.
deathtap: Too cluttered
me: Then fix it. um.. that is... if that's okay with you. Should that "She began" be capitalized? Since it's like a sentence connector?
deathtap: good catch
me: opus? Only opus I know of is a magnum. magnum opus. You're teaching me all kinds of new stuff.
deathtap: Well Opus literally means great work of writing or music So, a story
me: how about "tragic soliloquy"
deathtap: In this context soliliquy?
me: soliloquy. Like soliloquize.
deathtap: But she's not talking to herself... hm... I guess, since it's Rarity, it'd fit
me: monologue?
deathtap: nah Not monologue
me: What's "diatribe" mean?
deathtap: like... insulting Talking shit
me: Ah.
deathtap: It could work, but it'd be a very polite diatribe lol
me: Let's just stick with opus. We'll get the more curious readers to open another tab for google.
deathtap: that or soliloquy one of the two
me: Well, you put it in first... your choice.
deathtap: ok let's go with yours opus is more for literary works
me: Hooray! Ooh, moderate alliteration.
deathtap: didn't we use tragic before?
me: Let me Ctrl+F Nope. Not a single "tragic" in the story. Doesn't a sigh already imply a flat tone?
deathtap: You can sigh sadly
me: True.
deathtap: sigh glumly sigh sleepily tiredly
me: Onwards with the diting. editing* Now move this commentary. Oh. Please. What's with the extra semicolons?
deathtap: me unable to type
me: You unable to type indeed. Hey, I found a "said" “You’re not the only one who’s homeless,” Twilight said, “now when’s this rain supposed to...” I didn't actually mean to suggest you needed to replace it. I just meant to show how sneaky it is. It slips by, underneath your notice.
deathtap: I have a 10k chapter in a fic where I never use the word 'said' once. Nobody's noticed. me: Good for you!
deathtap: :(
me: You win the "said is evil and I refuse it existence in my writing" award. It comes with taffy.
deathtap: yummy I need to finish this so I can write my other fic
me: I have a feeling readers will be disappointed that a third of the word count is nonsense. But yes, let's finish up. Move that blinking indicator of location in text!
deathtap: We can put it into another chapter
me: Do you think we should do that?
deathtap: yeah
me: You're so chock full of good ideas.
deathtap: Call it 'Not relevant to the story.'
me: I salute you respectfully. Or perhaps "Only tangentially relevant to the story" Or some more appropriate word than tangentially.
deathtap: Or that And then have (commentary) next to it
me: All right, but we have to finish editing first.
deathtap: yerse
me: Isn't Tank the name of RD's pet turtle?
deathtap: look, look I put a word
me: Where?
deathtap: up see it? lissome Means athletic
me: Huh. Cool. Or "lithe" Might fit too
deathtap: lithe implies more flexible
me: lithe AND lissome!
deathtap: now you're being silly graceful agile
me: We'll just leave it at lissome.
deathtap: :D I love that On so many levels
me: Yeah, that bit right there seems odd Metaphor fer pourin water. Who typed that? Me? If so, sorry bout that.
deathtap: Well, I typed it in as request for an actual metaphor. You just changed it to Applejack talk maybe we should put in a stutter? like so
me: I think only 2 somes is fine.
deathtap: I like the three somes get it?
me: ...
deathtap: three somes?
me: menage a tois
deathtap: right
me: os·ten·si·ble/äˈstensəbəl/ Adjective: Stated or appearing to be true, but not necessarily so.
deathtap: It also means: apparent, evident, or conspicuous: But yeah sagely is best pony
me: Woot. shambles works.
deathtap: I like that work bestest. *word
me: You using British spellings?
deathtap: That's British? oh
me: Yeah, American is "plowing"
deathtap: plowing lol I always relate plow to having sex.
me: You just made it "was plowed" Oh, there.
deathtap: exclaimed was used twice
me: That's just... vociferated?
deathtap: Aw, come on! It's a word!
me: Just because something is a word doesn't mean it's appropriate.
deathtap: tsk The all mean exclaimed! wtf there ugh
me: No, put back in vociferated. I wouldn't want to frustrate you, and let the said demon have its way. Apparently every iteration of its name causes you migraines.
deathtap: vo·cif·er·at·ed, vo·cif·er·at·ing. to speak or cry out loudly or noisily; shout; bawl. SEE? It's a word!
me: Oh no! A said!
deathtap: yeah yeah
me: Quick, eradicate it! We have four "stated" s in this story.
deathtap: We do? Shit That's bad
me: two declared's
deathtap: damn it
me: There are only so many synonyms, deathtap. Some of them are bound to repeat.
deathtap: haha Now only 1 declared
me: And only 1 groaned.
deathtap: noice
me: Control F. Such a useful little function.
deathtap: it is
me: If only it were reliable for scanned documents, or you could just use it on phsical paper. 4 replieds
deathtap: applauds
me: magnanimously accepts applause Too many well.
deathtap: Twilight has a habit of saying it, right?
me: I have no idea. Let's not sweat the small stuff. Let's finish before you pass out.
deathtap: Most of the wells are from our banter
me: Ah, that's where your cursor went. Back to the editing, at around "Flattershy" Why is there spittle on Twilight/Fluttershy's face? Twilight wiped the spittle from her face
deathtap: Fluttershy went batshit insane for a moment
fyi I moved our commentary there
me: Err...kay.
deathtap has opened the document.
deathtap has opened the document.
me: You .. opened the document 3 times simultaneously?
deathtap: don't ask
oh no
Our glorious conversation!
I was going to add it
Bah
me: I've still got it!
--------------------------------
just4imagemails: "Twilight wiped the spittle from her face"
me: We didn't mention RD's pet, you mentioned something about that earlier.
Tank.
just4imagemails: Well, it just seemed... kind of... related.
You know, being that his name is... well, tank.
me: We should add it somewhere.
brb
pee pee time
just4imagemails: ... how mature.
me: Where'd you go?
just4imagemails: Hm?
me: I love that word
Can't believe I haven't used it yet
just4imagemails: Well, you used it there?
me: ...
true
just4imagemails: I think guffaw sounds... too... I don't know.
Weird, I guess?
But weird in what way.
I don't know .
Onwards.
me: I like saying it
just4imagemails: Where are you from, anyways?
me: Better than chuckled.
just4imagemails: Can't be America with those timezone discrepancies.
me: I live in the UK
But I'm American
just4imagemails: Oh, cool.
me: I'm what they call an expat.
just4imagemails: expat?
expatriate?
me: eeyup
just4imagemails: Google is so handy.
me: lol
I've lived abroad 90% of my life
My only connection really to the USA is my passport
just4imagemails: Have you developed an accent?
me: An English one?
Nope
just4imagemails: Hm.
I guess 10% is all it takes.
me: I've used this before
after
just4imagemails: "the sound of the wind rushing by her face" at the very end.
me: there
just4imagemails: Is tonne UK for ton?
me: yes
well
Tonne = metric measure
ton = imperial measure
I use metric
Therefore, I use tonne.
just4imagemails: Metric is the more sensible.
me: I think so too
just4imagemails: dang it, 3 addeds
me: ?
just4imagemails: It's interesting to see you jump through hoops to vary different methods of delivering words.
AAAAH
A SAID, A SAID!
MAKE IT GO AWAY!
Hey
Make with the moving of the cursor thingy.
Hey... we never addressed the whole "every one of their houses are destroyed" thing...
me: 4 saids
hm
Let's leave the saids as is
We've got rid of the ones we can
just4imagemails: Okay :P
me: It's in speech
All my hugs
just4imagemails: :D
me: side walls?
just4imagemails: idk
outer?
me: she bucked her outside or inside?
just4imagemails: No, she drops inside and bucks the nearest wall.
Or section of the hull/chassis or what have ye.
me: i used chassis
just4imagemails: Well she bucks something metal in order to stop Pinkie from her shenanigans.
Reword it however you like.
me: whew
that was tough
just4imagemails: Intense.
me: exagerated?
embellished
just4imagemails: fake
Take your pick of inauthentic synonyms.
me: lol
just4imagemails: Just get it done relatively quickly.
So we don't keep getting caught up with the small stuff.
me: is fine
should those be double or single quotes?
just4imagemails: I'm not sure.
me: meh
leave it
their?
just4imagemails: differerence between daemon and demon?
me: daemon is a process in computers no?
yep
Daemon is a computer program
just4imagemails: That scares Applejack?
me: lloll
just4imagemails: That seems cluttered.
me: it does
just4imagemails: Fix it please?
me: But it fits the tone
just4imagemails: Oh, okay.
Next para, then.
me: You really don't like commas
just4imagemails: Eeyup.
me: use hullabaloo
I love that word
lol
just4imagemails: I'll indulge you this time.
me: nah
Doesn't fit there
nah
You word is better
hullabaloo would be more funny noises
like pinkie's moaning
just4imagemails: And I guess we should add in the end that Discord repaired all the ponies' houses in penitence for his previous misdeeds.
me: Isn't he pertrified?
just4imagemails: Before that.
me: ah
just4imagemails: Are you supposed to capitalize after "BOOM!" and "Kablooey!" ?
me: Doesn't matter
just4imagemails: Especially when it seems to be part of the same sentence?
me: Don't matter. In this case, it's a matter of style
just4imagemails: If it's a matter of style, why are you changing it?
Never mind.
me: I'm flexible
yay
almost done
just4imagemails: So close...
So close!
Alas, the spaces and deletions of simultaneously concurrent and contemporaneous editing.
me: joy
just4imagemails: Save it, save it!
Publish it, publish it!
me: ok ok
just4imagemails: Go go go go go go go go go go go go go!
Tell me when you're done! Squeee!