Ember wants to see the rise of a smarter, friendlier dragon society in the future. For her dragon subjects, this presents quite a steep learning curve.

Vinyl Scratch, the mare behind DJ PON-3’s purple shades, is boldly exploring new frontiers of electronic dance music. Meanwhile, Spilt Ink, music critic for Sound on Sound magazine, is just as boldly exploring how far he can stick his head up his own rectum.

Trace the trajectory of one mare’s career—and one stallion’s sanity—through this peek into the music world’s sordid underbelly: the album reviews.

“If you want to see a pure distillation of the most conceited reviewership possible, look no further!” —Chris
“Overimportant pretentiousness ...” —Present Perfect
“The complete verbal destruction evoked from this critic is so outstandingly cruel, it feels like I’m viewing a different kind of art.” —Tired Old Man
“Enough WUT in it to potentially scare away some readers.” — PaulAsaran

Sold out on 31 Jan 2017.

This story can be enjoyed on its own, or as a companion piece to Octaves, by JapaneseTeeth. Basically, JT asked me to help with the music reviews in one chapter of his story. I enjoyed writing in the voice of a stuck-up indie music critic so much, I couldn’t stop myself from writing more, and then this story happened.

Big thanks to my pre-readers/editors:
JapaneseTeeth
KuroiTsubasaTenshi
War877
EQD Pre-reader 63.546

Cover art kludged together by yours truly. Vinyl Scratch vector by hfbn2. Sound on Sound logo is a parody of the Consequence of Sound logo.

For years, I have waited.

I have watched the skies, ever clouded by the windigos since the time of Platinum the Traitor.

At long last, with the coming of the one called Twilight Sparkle, I will set the world right.

For several years now, Tom has been maintaining a vigil over the Everfree Forest. Set to guard the secret of the Mirror Pool, he has never once let anything through.

He is surrounded by life and vibrancy, but he feels none of it. Nothing notices him or cares to notice him. He is alone, as alone as a rock can be.

Bloomberg similarly feels lonely, but is surrounded by wanton lust and fake intimacy. He stands apart, but wishes for the eternal coupling that he remembers so many of his elder trees having in Sweet Apple Acres.

Separated by distance and only able to see each other in their dreams, these two must find a way to reconcile far more than their inhibitions if they have any hope of being together.

This was written completely seriously. There's a few puns and whatnot, but this is legitimately a ship between Tom and Bloomberg. You've been warned.

Also featured on a Fic Spotlight. I love you, Tooly Royal Guard.

Also resides in the shelves of Twilight's Library.

Also reviewed by Seattle's Angels. It means a lot to me. Thank you guys for being awesome.

Working mornings was a thing Tea Leaf had initially hated. Dragging yourself from bed to the showers at 5 in the morning to help open the doors at Tip-Top's Cafe in downtown Canterlot was a less-than-ideal situation for most, but she had come to enjoy it for a single reason; a regular of the Cafe by the name of Fleur De Lis. Sure; there were other regulars, but she stood out from the crowd in many ways than one. Their little chats held as Steam Wand, her partner in coffee and tea related crime, prepared Fleur De Lis' typical order had come to be the thing she waked for; the rest of her shift and University afterwards were merely side-effects.

EDIT: FEATURED 10/22/2016 11:08 PM
THANKS SO MUCH EVERYONE; MY MIND IS BLOWN!

Cover Photo (edited by myself) created by SkyLine19
Contains F/F lovin'. Mentions explicit acts, but they aren't actually described in detail. "Shown", if you will.

Under the last tree at the end of the world, two ponies discuss the events that led them there and what the future holds.

Originally written for Aragon as part of Obs' 2015 Jinglemas gift-off.

This story is a sequel to I Am Trying to Break Your Heart.

There are two types of ponies in the world: dog ponies, and cat ponies.

Anyone with two eyes in their head could easily determine which categories both Applejack and Rarity fit in. But, when Rarity must take a last minute business trip to Manehattan, it falls on Applejack to take care of Rarity's beloved pet, Opalescence.

The problem is, Opalescence doesn't like Applejack.

Opalescence doesn't like anybody.

Sometimes ponies just have a bad day. They spill their cereal, trip in the mud, have their checks bounce, and get attacked by an extradimensional geometrical entity. Villain Cube knows what that's like. He understands what they're going through. He's there for them, to listen as they bare their troubled hearts, and also to set them on fire.

Note: This story crosses over with Equestria Girls, but is set in the pony world.

Hy•per•por•ten•tia noun \hī-pər-pȯr-ˌten-t(ē-)ə\
1. congenital fate disorder where the affected receives a disproportionate number of visions, prophecies, or warnings of the future directed at them.
2. severe pain in the butt.

It's common knowledge among ponies that Destiny is a natural occurrence. Much like a pony’s body, it grows and develops over time. Each pony’s Destiny is as unique and distinctive as their voice. The phenomenon manifests in the physical realm through the appearance of a cutie mark.

Unfortunately, like all natural occurrences, sometimes there's something off. A misplaced gene here, an excess chemical there, and what was supposed to be true Destiny becomes... aggravating.

So it is with Acacia Tree, the first seer Manehattan has seen in five-hundred years.

The concept for this story was submitted to The Idea Exchange group by GreyNoise. This group is a place to share story ideas you want to see written, but for one reason or another will not write yourself. Check it out!

Cranky Doodle Donkey has spent years searching Equestria for that special jenny he lost at the Grand Galloping Gala. He's been to cities far and wide, and searched from the peaks of the tallest mountains to the floors of the lowest valleys. He's seen it all, or so he claims. The roads are his and his alone, and the solitude is something he's simply grown used to.

Until one night, he discovers a filly hiding in a snowy hollow, scared, alone, and freezing to death...

Inspired by a discussion at Bronycon. Coverart by Ruirik.
Awesome audiobook by Illya Leonov!
Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library!
Featured in the Seattle's Angels!