And I Will Love You...

by Scootareader

When Doubt Overtakes Us

Is this the solace I have worked so long to have gained? To be ignored and forgotten by the very being I love most? To be snubbed and ridiculed, shamed and backstabbed?

I, Tom, am nothing but a joke to those who think they know me, and nothing but a burden on those who truly know me.

I’m convinced now that his touch was in my head. There was never any root with which he held me lovingly, only a fabrication, a wish that there were something more to my life than the bland, tasteless depression that had overtaken me for so long before I’d imagined him.

I don’t even want to say his name anymore. I am that disgusted.

I dread sleeping at night. I am afraid the specter of that tree will again seek me out, to cause me more misery and discontentment. His tendrils reach around my mind, the very sentiment constricting me, pulling me down, to never be seen of this world again.

Bloomberg is my own mind rebelling against my sanity.

I’m becoming more and more convinced that the accursed tree never existed. He is a metaphor, a name given to my slowly loosening grip on reality. I imagined him, and now I am paying the price. I fell in love with make-believe.

I am centered in reality, am I not? There is no time for clichéd romances in Tom’s life. I am a solo rock, and I have been ousted from my place of guardianship. Perhaps that makes me a little relieved; a change of scenery is welcome. I am now at the bottom of a hill. Perhaps that is all I needed to get out of my depressive state.

This won’t be easy for me to come to terms with... I know I must, though.

---

I am fearfully wandering the corridors of my dream world, half-expecting him to be lurking around each new corner I turn. Equestria is mine to explore when I am lost in this limbo, yet I dream of orchards and forests. Even my subconscious aims to torture me as much as possible.

Being afraid of myself is no way to live, but it is certainly better than living out a misguided hope... or a lie.

Was there ever truly a root pressed up against me? If there was, it certainly didn’t travel a hundred miles to touch me. Me, for Celestia’s sake! Who do I think I am?

I dream of it even now... to feel that touch again. My mind so sorely needed that touch to be real that it truly believes it was. Perhaps that is why I now find myself incessantly wandering forests while I wait.

Heh... waiting. That’s a funny description of this phenomenon.

It is as if there is something for me to wait for. For what? Consciousness? Awareness of my surroundings? A reason to exist? To make it day by day, eternally believing that there is something that is worth waiting for?

There would be something worth waiting for... if he existed.

I stare into the distance in my dream, making out a familiar vague shape. It is a true shame that I pierced the veil, that what I seem so transfixed on is simply my own mind playing tricks on me.

I never want to have to live through this again. Only facts and truths from this point forward.

---

---

I am weak.

I want nothing more than to be with my Tom, to feel once more his ridges pressed up against my root. His touch still lingers on me even now, despite my severed root, my slowly draining life force, and my vastly decreased awareness of my surroundings. It was that meaningful to me.

The other trees call to me often. They can see my suffering. They forced me to move my branches away, to stay pure for my Tom. They aged me far faster than I should have aged. I stayed strong... for Tom's sake. He would be proud of me for maintaining myself just for him.

Despite all that I have done, however, I grow weaker by the day. There is no way that I can make it through at this rate.

There is only one thing that I can do.

There is nothing left for me... except one thing.

I feel a burst of energy. This is my final chance. I reach out to him and find him immediately.

Tom?

...

Tom!

What?

I love you.

...

Tom, I love you.

And I love you, Bloomberg.

---

---

I wish I didn’t. I know I do.

Comments

[nodamnbrakes]

This is amazing because it's well written and wtf at the same time.

[Scootareader]

4162206
6legs2many.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/plotting1.gif?w=300&h=224
Just as planned.

[PaulAsaran]

Huh. Just when I start thinking about the possibility, it looks like Bloomberg's about to go to that big orchard in the sky.