• Member Since 14th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 9th, 2018

Einhander


Just an old school hybrid spaceship/pony writing some stories.

E
Source

Cranky had a plan to make Matilda's Hearts and Hooves Day the best day of her life. Instead, he's in jail for (allegedly) running over Pinkie Pie with his cart.

This is his story.

A last minute entry for the Outside/Insight Equestria Daily Contest.... in which it placed 7th!

Edited by Dash the Stampede

Chapters (1)
T
Source

A saucy collab with Skeeter The Lurker.
After several failed attempts at other friendly games, Luna and Celestia have finally found the perfect game to pass the time: poker. One night, drunk on cider, they decide to make the game interesting: If Celestia wins, Luna has to go on a date. If Luna wins, Celestia has to tell Twilight how she feels about her. Ante up.



Sexy artwork by Rurik.

Editing by Sharp Spark.

(Note: much shipping abounds, but this is not a Celestia/Luna fic.)

Rated "Teen Sex" for some heavy wink wink, nudge nudge, and also booze.

Chapters (2)
T
Source

A bottle of Cider? Bottle of White?

Even after all these years, even though he loved her but she loved another, he'll meet her anytime she wants.

In a Canterlot Restaurant.





Pre-Read/Edited by Sharp Spark. Inspired by Billy Joel's magnum opus.

Part of the Royals-Verse. Takes place after Royals, but before its (soon to be published) Sequel.

Chapters (1)
E

Princess Twilight is overwhelmed. Too much to do, not enough time. And on top of everything else, she's started to dream of a strange creature. The settings change, as do the outfits he wears. But it's always the same smooth voiced 'human', whatever that is. He has some good advice on life and finding happiness, if you can get past the smirk.

And he says his name is George Clooney.

Non mature FB 4/14-4/15

(Happy One Year anniversary, Fimfic. This is the weirdest thing I've ever written. Also, the only HiE story I will ever write. Good luck.)

(Also, note: rated 'everyone' but again, it's PG. Contains Alcohol and Adult Conversations).
(Pre-read in parts by Cola Bubble Gum, passed the Skeeter the Lurker 'pfft' test.)

Chapters (3)
E
Source

Every week, Cadance and Celestia used to have tea and discuss everything. Now that Cadance has become Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, ruler of the Crystal Empire, those weekly tea sessions have gone away. So Celestia decides to visit the Empire, unannounced. Why?

Because, as Cadance is about to learn, when you are a Princess, making a pot of tea is more than just making a pot of tea...





Set in S4, before the events of Three's a Crowd.

Non-mature FB on 3/22/14. Mature FB on 3/23/14.

Added to Twilight's Library on 3/23/14.

NOTE: Rated E for everyone, but if this was a movie, I'd rate it PG for Adult Situations. These ponies have a serious talk about life and s--t.

Prompt suggested by Skeeter the Lurker. ("Cadance and Celestia have tea.")

Pre-read and edited by Cola Bubble Gum and Sharp Spark.

I don't know who made this amazing picture. If you know who, or are that person, PM me for credit. ARTIST FOUND!

Thanks, Xeadin!

Chapters (1)
E
Source

Celestia's done the math: Prince Blueblood has cost the kingdom several billion bits in unpaid tabs, half-eaten cake and other expenses. She orders him to get a job to start to pay off his debts. And the only pony willing to hire him? The current manager of Sugarcube Corner: Ms. Pinkie Pie.

Uh oh.

Entry for EFNW. Winner of an Honorable Mention.






WARNING: This story contains no Minions, or Gru, or Dr. Nefario. It is NOT a crossover. But I do love that song.

Cover art by Dotterall.

Edited by Sharp Spark and Space Commie, who are unstoppable machines of editing might.

Produced by Cola Bubble Gum. Executive produced by Skeeter The Lurker.

This story is Royals-verse canon, but also works as a stand alone. No previous knowledge of Royals or sister story Rum Punch is necessary, it just adds some color.

Chapters (1)
T

This story is a sequel to Faster


Fluttershy had the best, most loyal pony in the world as her fiancee. But after the events of Faster, Rainbow Dash is gone. Now, weeks after the funeral, she still blames herself and own weakness for Dash's death. She also has questions. Who is this bigger, stronger pony glaring at her in the mirror? What hasn't she been told about Dash's death? When did this giant hole appear in the side of her bedroom wall? Why is she suddenly so quick to anger? And how will she handle the fact that the reports of Dash's death have been slightly exaggerated?

The kindest, gentlest, most soft-spoken pony in Ponyville is about to become the strongest pony in all of Equestria.

What happens when she gets mad?

Sequel to Faster. Featured 2/7-2/9. Added to Twilight's Library 2/7.

Note: I have left enough clues for you to piece together what happened without having to read Faster, but really, you should read Faster before reading this. It's a Nolan Sequel, not a Burton Sequel. (In terms of a continuity, I make no promises as to quality)

Additional Note: Because Knighty is a tyrant, I can't tag everyone on the poster, because my poster has six characters. But rest assured, I didn't work this hard on a sequel to Faster without eventually getting around to the fate of Dash.

Artwork by: 2153D (Sadly, probably our last collaboration due to his site retirement)

Pre-read/Produced by Cola Bubble Gum.

Additional pre-reading by: Space Commie

Edited by Sharp Spark and Cola.

Executive Produced by: Skeeter The Lurker

Chapters (5)
T

Rarity always wanted to be Lady Rarity. Over time, it became more clear it was not meant to be. But she's fine, she's got a successful business in Ponyville, her fashion line showing in Manehattan and she has her friends, even if most of them are moving on with their lives. A prince sweeping her off her hooves was just not meant to be.

So how in Equestria did she end up on a date with the richest pony in town?

Confusion, feelings and wine mix for a potentially explosive, heartwarming (or rending?) evening, along with a pinch of generosity.

A sweet, feels-full, wistful Rarity X Filthy Rich romance fic in three parts.

FEATURED, 1/9-1/11/14. ADDED TO TWILIGHT'S LIBRARY, 1/10/14.

UPLOADED TO CANTERLOT'S FINEST 1/17/14.

FEATURED ON EQUESTRIA DAILY, 6/1/14.

Written and developed in the same 'Universe' as Cola Bubble Gum's story, Rum Punch. Story takes place before the events of Rum Punch. If reading in order, read this story first.

Other Royalsverse stories: Colts, by Guy Incognito, Heart of Silver, by The Weatherbug, and Despicable Blue, by yours truly.

Initial idea was suggested by Cola Bubble Gum.

Story inspired by the song Royals as sung by Puddles Pity Party (kind of), and my deep love for Rarity (oh yes.)

Editors: Sharp Spark, Cola Bubble Gum
Additional Editing by: Comrade Sparkle

Artwork: 2135D Artwork inspired by Silver Linings Playbook , but made into a beautiful, better image by 2135D

Part of my 4 Prompt Jan Challenge. Even though I already broke the rules and made this a chapter story, and went over the word limit.

(Also, it's total horsefeathers that there isn't a Filthy Rich tag.)

Chapters (3)
T
Source

A villain shows up, picks a fight with Ponyville, is defeated, and slinks off into the night, either having learned their lesson or plotting their next move and revenge. And then, a new villain will come and test Twilight Sparkle and Co., and the cycle begins again. Because this is how it works. Right?

Think again.

Underneath the town is a series of rooms where the villains are held, waiting for their chance to shine. And it's up to the mares and stallions of G3 (formerly G1) to make sure that the system keeps running. With each villain comes a lesson. Upstairs is watching. And when the villains are done, they go back in their cells.

But these creatures didn't ask to be there. They don't want to keep doing what they're doing. They want out.

ARTWORK: dreamingnoctis.

PRE-READERS/EDITORS: TheLastBrunnenG, Cola Bubble Gum

NOTE: Why yes, this is a riff/rip off/"re-imagination" of the the amazing film THE CABIN IN THE WOODS. No previous knowledge of that movie is required to follow this story. But you should go rent the movie immediately.

NOTE 2: Set in an AU around the time of 'Magic Duel'.

Rated Teen/Gore because... well, it's not GrimDark, but it IS going to be a very dark PG-13. Pitch Black Comedy, if you will.

Chapters (1)
T

Ponies get older over time. They slow down. This is a part of life. But Rarity, Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie can keep pursuing their dreams as they get older. Rainbow Dash can't. This is her last chance to be a Wonderbolt, and despite working her tail off, she's not getting any better. In fact, she's getting slower. She just wants things to be fair. She wants one last chance to achieve her dream.

She wants to be faster.

This is what happens when she gets her wish.

A three part story.

Featured 10/7-10/9/13. Posted to Equestria Daily on 5/2/14.

Now with a sequel.
MEDALS AND RIBBONS:

This story is part of Twilight's Library because of Skeeter the Lurker.

Twilight's Library Ribbon

And

It also won Skeeter the Lurker's medal.

Skeeter the Lurker's medal

Entry for the Writer's Group Contest & the Rainbow Dash Contest.

Winner, 2nd place, Rainbow Dash Contest.

Voted in by Twenty Great Stories on 11/3/13.

Voted in by The Royal Guard, March 2014

Edited by: SpaceCommie, Cola Bubble Gum


Artwork by: 2135D

An earlier draft of this cover art was featured on EQD.

Chapters (3)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!