ROYALS
By: Einhander
Pre-Read by: Cola Bubble Gum
Edited by: Sharp Spark, Cola Bubble Gum
THREE
"I feel like we're ready, don't you?"
"We're practically there. Nips and tucks, that's all. I think I'll have the final version for your approval in a couple of days."
"That's just a formality. You'll have my signature immediately. But how soon before it can all be installed? I don't want Barnyard Bargains closed for too long."
"That's up to you and your workcolts. If they follow the specifications, and do it all at once? About five days, give or take. Start early evening Sunday, closed the week and reopen Saturday morning."
"And if we d-do it just the nights? Stay open during the day?"
"Dear, I can hear your teeth chattering. You really must turn up the heat, I feel ridiculous wearing this scarf indoors, fashion forward though it may be."
"The boiler is broken again, and we can only afford to fix the part that works for the store itself. I won’t have my employees working in the cold. But if it breaks again, I don’t know if we can afford to even do the temporary fix. That's why I'm worried about closing."
"I did draw up that schedule, per your request. It can be done. But not recommended. It would take almost a month, a little less if you're lucky."
"A m-month??"
"You lose an hour each night with set up and break down, maybe more. That means you only get a few straight hours of good work done, and what if you need a replacement part or a bucket of paint? No store is open, you're stuck until the next night."
"Hmm... Yes that was more or less the story of when we had to fix the floor in the produce section last year."
"You will be paying more for the labor and your customers are stepping over buckets and ladders. I'm not sure how much you could lose being shut down a week–"
"It's not nothing. And that's ponies out of work for that period of time."
"Then put them to work! Fil, consider this: whatever you lose, you make back in a huge re-opening event. Get your store ponies to paint the town red with fliers, announce a giant party, offer, I don't know, free balloons, and then we get Applejack to– what's so funny?"
"Nothing, nothing. I just like the way you said 'free balloons.' Go on."
"Are you making fun of me, Mr. Rich?"
"Actually, I'm complimenting you. I think this idea has potential. You were about to say Sweet Apple Acres does the catering?"
"I–yes, I was."
"And could you see if Princess Twilight would make an appearance?"
"Ha ha, stop reading my mind, Fil. It's creeeeepy. Actually, I doubt I could get Twilight to come on such short notice, but Rainbow Dash will be on home leave from Wonderbolt duty, I'm sure I could get her to make an appearance in uniform. Normally she spends her visits to Ponyville with Scootaloo, but I think she could bring the young mare along."
"And could Miss–"
"Yes, Pinkie would be insulted if we didn't invite her to help with everything. Fortunately, being the manager of Sugarcube Corner now means she can set her own schedule. Anything else?"
"I'm sure something will come up. 'Always Be Thinking', my father always told me."
"Oh! Fluttershy and Bi– oh? Is that somepony knocking?"
"I specifically asked not to be disturbed during our meetings... Come!"
"Daddy!"
"Oh, hello my dear! I'm just in a meeting but–"
"Oh Daddy it's terrible! Somepony at school stole my favorite scarf!"
"Somepony at school?"
"Yes! It was in my locker at the beginning of the day, and at the end of the day it was g-gone! Daddy it's not fair!"
"There there–"
"You poor thing!"
"... Who are you?"
"This is the Lady Rarity, she's helping me re-design our store."
"Hello, dear."
"Yeah, hi. Anyway, Daddy, I told Principal Cheerilee that I knew, I just knew who it was. It was that Scootaloo and her two friends, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, the big bullies, but she said I didn't have any proof and then I sort of yelled at her and–"
"Yelled at her?"
"Daddy, listen! I'm the one that's the victim of a crime, and yet I'm the one suspended from school!"
"What?! Suspended?"
"I know! It's not fair, it's not fair! Just for throwing a stupid chair in the stupid principal's office, and those other three girls get away with scarf-napping! It's not–"
"Oh, Tiara..."
"Diamond? Excuse me, but, what kind of scarf was it?"
"It was... Um, it was pink, and it was fluffy, and it was a Coco Pommel."
"No! You. Lost. A. Coco. Pommel?!"
"Actually, ahem, it was more a scarf that was in the style of Ms. Pommel..."
"Daddy! You told me you wouldn't tell anypony it was–"
"In the style of, hmm? Well this scarf, right here? It is a Pommel. Would you like it?"
"It's a real Pommel?! Oh, its so chic! Do you really mean it?"
"That's very generous but really not necessary, Rarity..."
"Nonsense, dear. Ms. Pommel is a close personal friend. I can always get another. Here, it's a gift."
"Oh can I have it, Daddy? Can I can I?"
"I suppose if Rarity insists."
"She does."
"Oh thank you, Daddy!"
"Don't thank me, thank her."
"Thank you, Rarity! You're so super cool and nice!"
"I try, dear."
"Yes well, we have to finish our meeting, and afterwards, we're going to have a talk about this suspension, young lady."
"That's fine Daddy, you need to sign the form anyway, and they said something about a conference? I wasn't listening."
"Yes, well. We'll talk about it later."
"Nice to, er, meet you, Diamond. Enjoy the scarf."
"I will, oh I will. Ooh, it’s so soft!"
"... she has no idea I'm Sweetie's sister, does she?"
"I love my daughter, but she usually doesn't pay attention to the lives of other ponies. I haven't seen her take to another pony like that in a long time."
"She's a real sweetheart, isn't she?"
"Yes. Yes, she is. She can be. Lady Rarity?”
“Mmm?”
“Would you like to go to dinner with me?"
"I appreciate the thought, but I think lunch is more conducive to getting business done, don't you?"
"Not a business dinner. Dinner dinner. Just you and I."
"... Oh."
"There's that new restaurant, the one the Princess commissioned–"
"The Gilded Oat, yes. All organic and based on the Golden Era of Canterlot."
"Anyway, um. Of course, if you're busy, I understand, of course; we're all–"
"Fil, I'd love to."
They sat on a hill near the front of Sweet Apple Acres. From their blanketed perch, the entire town unfurled before them. The houses and various nightlife spots, restaurants and bars, all had their lanterns lit, turning the town into a symphony of light.
Surrounded by half-empty plates,bowls, and glasses that had been emptied and refilled a few times over, they laughed the gentle chuckles of the nicely drunk.
“In my head, it was this grand gesture. Cast off the shackles of the restaurant world! Go have a picnic in the middle of the night!”
Rich smiled, holding up his wine glass. “It was a wonderful idea.”
She held up her glass. "In theory, anyway."
Clink.
As she sipped her wine, her eyes wandered down to the her plate. She sighed. “But the food went all cold...”
He shrugged, taking a healthy taste. “Daisies are best served cold anyway, and I’d take the view over warm oats anyday.”
“It is spectacular.” She smiled, then shivered. “A bit chilly, though.”
After a moment, she felt the brush of fabric on her shoulder, and turned to see Rich wrapping his coat around her. She opened her mouth to protest, and Rich said, “It’s my pleasure, Lady Rarity.”
She rolled her eyes. “Please, Fil. Just ‘Rarity’. I beg of you. I am not a Lady.” It was Rich’s turn to disagree, and Rarity cut him off. “It doesn’t run in my blood. I act like a lady, and I try to carry myself like a lady, but I am not royalty. I am not even a Canterlot noble, and thus, under the rules, I am not a Lady.”
“And who makes the rules?”
“Ponies with lots of spare time and practice at disapproving glances.” She sighed. “Trust me on this.”
Rich looked at her from the corner of his eye. “Memories best left forgotten?”
“No. If you don’t remember the pain, what’s the point of learning the lesson?” She took a big sip of wine, her tongue relaxed and body warm. “Nevertheless, sometimes it is nice to forget.”
He leaned his head down, rolling it back and forth. “We all have scars.”
There was a silence, and all she could hear were the crickets. The bustle of the town’s nightlife seemed very far away.
“Fil…this is going to be a little strange, but I have a question. More of a request.”
“Yes?”
She took a deep breath. “Tell me about her?” His eyes went wide. Even the crickets seemed to feel the tension, and stopped their music. She continued, “She was such a large part of your life, but no pony… no one seems to know that much about her. What was she like?”
He paused, looking away for a moment. The crickets resumed their routine, and the world kept on. With a shrug, he finally said. “We were so different, sometimes I wonder if that’s why I was so infatuated.” He stretched out his hooves, pouring himself more wine. “My mother never approved, she was on a quest to have me married to some society, I don’t know, ‘old money’ mare. Father just wanted an heir, didn’t care as long as I produced one. So when Wild got pregnant, rather than face a scandal we suddenly had his blessing. Mother gave up and we were wed.”
“A shotgun wedding? You?”
“The Rich version of one, yes.” He smiled, taking another sip of wine. “Wild Woods couldn’t be bothered about the high life, business functions, which fork to use for salad and which for the main course. She was only concerned about adventures, always adventures in far off places. Even when pregnant, nothing stopped her. It tired me, but I felt so alive.”
He was still smiling, but Rarity noticed tears start to trickle down his face. She reached out a hoof. “Fil, you don't have to–”
Rich took her hoof and held it tight. “You asked me about diamonds, earlier?
Rarity held her breath as she nodded.
"I wanted to give her one, so badly. I wanted to give her everything. She wouldn’t hear of it. ‘Gems belong in the earth, or in a dragon’s maw,’ she’d say. She got so upset the one time my mother tried to give her diamond earrings as a peace offering! Had them sold and donated the proceeds to charity! That was a dark day in the Rich house, I could tell you.”
He relaxed his grip on her hoof, but did not let go. His words kept tumbling out.
“That’s why I never even bothered to hold one in my hoof. I had to beg her to wear the very simple gold band I offered when I proposed to her. I think she only caved because she loved me, I could tell it chafed against her skin.” He wiped his muzzle with his free hoof, and looked up at the stars. “And when we had our foal, our little girl, she looked at me and said, ‘See, Filthy? This is our Diamond.'" He choked back a sob. "'We made her ourselves.’”
Rarity placed her other hoof on top of Filthy’s, holding him steady. “She sounds wonderful.”
He turned his head and looked at her hoof, and then at her eyes. He smiled. “She was, oh she was. Drove me crazy, of course. Completely irrational, never planned ahead. Completely inconsistent. She’d never let me give her diamonds, or any other kind of jewel, but then Diamond was born, and she spoiled her rotten. After refusing all the money and gifts I had offered her during our courtship, suddenly our foal had the most expensive toys!” He waved his hoof over the town. “Tiara had whatever she wanted, even things she didn’t know she wanted until she had them. And I was working so hard, to provide for my girls, that Tiara became her new adventure partner. I told her, Diamond’s too young! She just laughed at me, saying, she’s our daughter, she’s unstoppable. And when I couldn’t go, she’d take Diamond off and return from exotic places with all sorts of baubles and stories– well, Wild would tell the stories, Tiara would just babble. Hiking, active volcanoes, tropical jungles.” His smile fell. “It was a blessing, really, that I wasn’t able to go on that last trip. She was so strong, and of all the things to stop her, it started with a cough...”
She waited for words that did not come. Finally she asked, “She took ill?”
“They both did when they returned. Tiara survived. She told me she was happy, if it had to be this way, that it was her. And if I had went, Tiara might have lost both parents.” He shrugged. "It feels like it was a long time ago.”
Rarity paused. “Does it get any better?”
“It gets less worse? I try to keep busy. Always busy. It's hard, with Tiara. I didn't know how to be a father, how to raise a foal on my own. I still don't, I suppose. It makes me so sad, she only has the one friend, that she's so scared and angry. She was such a happy filly once." He sighed. "But there are good days with the bad. It gets better, yes, but I’ll never stop missing her.”
Rarity released her grip on his hooves with a frustrated shake of her head. “I don’t presume to know your mind, or what you think this- you and I- is." She paused, then sighed. "But, I can’t be her, Filthy. I don’t know if you’re asking me to be, but I can’t. I don’t hike, I don’t camp, and I barely can take care of my own sister, I wouldn’t even know how to begin being a stepmom... well. She sounds like she was a wonderful mare, and mother, but before we go any further, I want to be clear. I’m not her. And you can’t expect me to be.” She hesitated. “I mean, I suppose I could try hiking, but I went camping once and that was enough.”
“I know that, Miss Rarity.” He looked down. “That’s just it. You’re not her. You’re very much not her. She wasn’t perfect. No pony is. She didn’t have any interest in business, in building something. She never understood what I did for a living, not really. And I could never give her diamonds. I wanted to, but she wouldn’t have any of it. But then I met you.” He looked up at her. “I thought, maybe this is a pony, who I can talk with. Who understands what I do, and why. We could create something. We could save the farm, we could do some good in Ponyville. We could go on our own adventures.” He smiled softly. “And she wouldn’t be upset if I gave her diamonds.”
Words went unsaid as they regarded one another. Finally, Rarity cleared her throat.
“Sapphires.”
“What?”
“I’m not saying no to diamonds, but, I’m a sapphire girl. It’s my cutie mark, after all.”
And he laughed. “Sapphires gleaming as you danced around a ballroom. What I wouldn’t give to see that. I wish I could take you dancing right now.”
“Why can’t you?”
He blinked. “Because we’re on a blanket in front of an apple farm.”
It was Rarity’s turn to laugh. “You’re going to let that stop us? Good thing a lady always comes prepared.”
She opened her bag. A spool of thread fell out, along with a pincushion.
“Umm…” Rich said.
“Never mind that, this is what… yes, here it is.”
She pulled out a small music box, tapped it with her horn, and it started to play. A tin wind-up waltz filled the air. "I always keep a little music on hoof in my work bag." She stood and offered her hoof. “May I have this dance?”
He stood, impish smile on his face. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking?
She laughed. “It’s the era of four Princesses, Fil. Move with the times.”
He returned the laugh, and took her hooves. The music cranked on. The stars seemed to brighten just for them. She rested her head on his shoulder, shivering.
“Cold?”
“Honestly?”
“Please.”
“Scared.”
He stopped dancing, but kept his grip on her. “Why?”
“Because of all the random events that had to happen for us to get here. Because it feels so right, so soon, and I’m afraid it’s all about to fall apart.”
He whispered in her ear. “Sometimes good things just happen.”
“But what if something bad happens?”
“It’ll be okay.”
She pulled her head up and looked at him. “But Fil–”
He kissed her. She kissed back.
The waltz played to a stop.
"Excuse me, ma'am, are you open?"
"Actually, I'm sorry darling, I'm just out the door. I'm already late for an appointment at Sweet Apple Acres. But I shall reopen tomorrow–"
"Oh please, you're Miss Rarity aren't you?"
"Well, yes, I am..."
"I need your help! They told me to come see you–"
"My compliments to 'they,' whoever 'they' are, but really I must be– oh my goodness, what happened to your suit?"
"I'm... I've gotta a job interview, to be a server at The Gilded Oat in an hour."
"The Gilded Oat? That's… Princess Twilight’s new restaurant in town?"
"Yeah, well, she’s not runnin' it but yes, built with her blessing. And this was my interview suit… but it got caught on a nail getting off the train! Can you fix it? I don't have much, but I can pay you back..."
"Oh, you poor thing. I don't think I can save it, at least not in the time frame you've given me. It's a bad tear. I do have other suits for sale."
"I only have ten bits. I spent my the last of my savings on the train ticket from Dodge Junction. You got anything for ten bits?"
"Dodge Junction? Oh my, you have come a long way. And no back up clothes?"
"No, the interview was so last minute, and this is the only nice thing I had...Oh Celestia, this is my dream, to serve at a Royal-certified restaurant. It's what I've always wanted!”
“Is that a serving tray on your flank? Your talents were certainly wasted in Dodge Junction, I'd imagine. Oh, dear, don't cry...”
“I've waited so long for this chance– and to be undone by a nail, a bucking nail! Excuse my Appleloosian."
"Ten bits, you say? You're in luck, darling, this suit appears to be on sale!"
"But... The price tag says one hundred bits?"
"No, no that zero is a typo. Ten bits! Drastically reduced.”
“Oh thank you! Thank you so much, Miss Rarity! I won’t forget this!”
“Who am I to refuse a pony in need? Now, dear, this is a bit awkward but I’ll have to ask you to strip.”
“...beg pardon?”
“This suit won’t make alterations by itself. You want the job, you must look the part. Now, strip! You can’t be late! Destiny waits for no pony.”
They laid on the blanket, staring up at the stars and holding hooves.
“Big events coming up, you know.” Rarity said, her voice an octave higher, lost in the moment. “Your grand re-opening, the new look for Sweet Apple Acres.”
“Yep. This town keeps changing, even though its heart stays the same.”
Rarity glanced at him. “You really do care about Ponyville, don’t you?”
“Ponyville took me in even when I wanted to be anywhere else, and it took care of mine when they came back sick. And it cared for me and my daughter when we were alone.” He turned towards her. “And as long as I have any kind of power to help out, I will.”
“Very noble of you. You’re like our own Princess. When Twilight’s away, anyway.”
He coughed. “I think the word is ‘Prince.’”
She frowned. “I only know two princes, and one of them is a ponce.” He laughed. She snuggled closer, closing her eyes and feeling his heartbeat. It soothed her. Everything was right.
Except for one little, nagging...
“Rich?”
“Yes?”
“You said you never held a diamond?”
“Yes.”
Rarity bit her lip. Her heart fought with her brain on these next words, and her brain won out. “What about Diamond Tiara’s, er, Diamond Tiara? I notice she doesn't wear it anymore, but for years it seemed to never leave her head. Surely you’ve picked it up once or twice?”
He said nothing for awhile. She cursed herself and her traitor tongue. Then cleared his throat and muttered something inaudible.
She wrinkled her nose. “Couldn’t hear you dear.”
“It’s not real.” He sighed.
“Really?”
“When Wild Woods passed, Tiara wouldn’t stop crying. No matter what we did, she cried and cried and cried. Then one day, I’m walking through the town square market, and she sees this little crown. It looks nice, but it’s costume jewelry. Well crafted tin and cubic zirconium. Not a cheap little thing, mind you, but not real either. Still, she put it on her head, and, like magic, she started smiling again.”
Rarity whispered. “Oh my.”
“And she climbed onto my back and we walked around town like all was right in the world. She laughed, she smiled." He closed his eyes, holding her tighter. "I’ve never had the heart to tell her it’s fake.”
She nuzzled his neck. “Does it matter?”
“Actually, it does. It made it much easier to replace it the one time she lost it on the train to Manehattan.”
A lady does not snort, but a snort-like noise came out of Rarity’s mouth that she immediately pretended never happened.
He turned to face her. “Rarity…”
“Yes, Fil?”
“You need to know something. My daughter, she’s the world to me.” Rarity nodded and Rich continued. “I’m not saying I need her approval, but if you’re with me, you’re with my daughter. Do you understand?”
Rarity hugged him. “Of course. Sweetie is the same to me. She can be difficult, but she is my family.”
His nod turned into a confused stare. "She is your sister, right? But she lives with you?"
She sighed. "Yes, and yes. It's complicated. Speaking of complicated, there's a teenage dragon who is not going to be very fond of you."
“I can handle Spike. Or rather, I can ask the Princess to help with Spike. But your sister and Diamond, those two… do not get along.”
“No,” Rarity sighed. “They don’t.”
“Maybe they could be friends, though? I doubt they’ve actually tried.”
“Mmm.”
A cloud passed over the moon, and Rarity shivered. Rich held her close. “So what happens now?”
“I don’t know.” Rarity replied. “I’m a stranger here myself.”
“We’ll never be royals, you know.” Rich said, his voice tired but serene. “I told my daughter she’d be a Princess, but… she isn’t going to be. You would never be, even if this works out, you and I. All those slots are filled.”
Rarity lifted her head. “But if it works out, I’d have you, yes?
Rich laughed. “If that’s any consolation. And Ponyville.”
“Ah yes, Lady Rarity of Ponyville.” She shrugged, and re-settled back into his neck. “Let others worry about their crowns,” she purred. “Balls and gowns aren’t all they’re cracked up to be anyway.”
He kissed her forehead. She smiled. They gazed upwards as a shooting star flew by. Luna’s sky was bright, endless and filled with possibility.