Twilight Sparkle Dreams of George Clooney

by Einhander

Who or What is a George Clooney?

---

Something Twilight Sparkle—Princess Twilight Sparkle, her aides were quick to correct her—learned early on in her new career as a Princess was there was no time.

For anything.

She trotted into her bedroom and looked out the window. Luna's moon was high in the sky. She groaned. Day became night so quickly, surely it wasn't the same back when she was just a Ponyville Librarian... even though she was an element of harmony, life wasn't this complicated. Was it?

Now, she was always behind. Long days. More and more of them recently. She would stay up late, go to bed late and then wake up late, and the cycle would begin again.

She pulled up at her desk, cracking open a book and trying to find her place. Her bookmark had gathered dust. The Life of Star Swirl, the volume five in a long running series, had long been neglected. She used to devour each one the moment it came out. Volume five had been out for a year, and volume six was about to come out. She hadn't finished the book.

Her eyes wandered over to the project list posted next to the mirror by her desk. So many projects, so few crossed off. A few had the errant check mark, but they gave her little comfort. A half-flanked task was almost worse than one never started at all.

There was so much more she wanted to do.

Blinking, she tried to focus back on her book. She knew that they contained the stories of Star Swirl's time with the griffons, and what he learned when he briefly changed their king into a frog.

Instead, her eyes kept moving back to her list.

Install new magic-light system all through Ponyville. Not checked.

Approve the designs for improvements on the library. Not checked.

Visit Cadance and Shining Armor within the year. Unchecked.

And when was the last time she had seen her friends, other than other than Rarity's visits and the occasional Rainbow Dash drop-in (when the Wonderbolts came through Canterlot)? Not since...

Oh, Celestia, she couldn't even remember!

Groaning, she dropped her head into the pages of the book she was also behind on, and rubbed her muzzle back and forth on the pages.

After a moment, she held her head up and looked in the mirror. some ink had come off from the book, and her face now had copied some words. The sentence on her cheek was broken, but a quick look to the book under her chin filled in the gaps:

I would not dwell on the past

If time did not go by so fast

"You and me both, Star Swirl," she muttered, dabbing a kerchief in a glass of water and rubbing the words off.

Still, this was her time, her only time to he to work on her projects. She just needed to keep her eyes open.

She just...

---

There was the ocean.

Well, first, there was a rush of green grass. Then there was (however improbably) a well-groomed hedge, there was the sand and the sun, and then there was the ocean.

And there was Twilight Sparkle, staring at all of it standing on the grass.

For a moment, she took in the sounds of the crashing waves, the salt of the sea and the impressive, endless view of the ocean... across the hedge. She frowned.

Twilight Sparkle was excellent at many things. She was trained and raised in the powers of friendship, magic and that friendship is magic. That last one had been drummed in pretty thoroughly by her teacher and friends.

There was no task that Twilight Sparkle could not accomplish. No mystery that she could not uncover with science (and a little magic.) No wonders she could not read a book about.

"Wait a moment, this isn't right."

But one thing she was not very good at, not very good at all, was going with the flow.

"A hedge? Next to the sea?" She stared up at the sky. "Princess Luna, come on now. The ecology alone makes that extremely unlikely. The ground's too salty for anything that steady to grow."

Especially in dreams.

She snorted and trotted around, taking in the scene. "Still, it's something different, I suppose. I've never actually had a good look at the ocean, just saw it out of the corner of my eye in Manhattan." She put a hoof to her chin, turning her head up to the sky. "I wonder what part of my psyche inspired this?"

Slowly, a shape began to rise from behind the hedge on the ocean view side.

Twilight was oblivious, back turned to the ocean (and the improbable hedge guarding it) She continued to pace and ponder aloud. "Maybe this speaks to my innate desire to go on adventures. Then again, maybe this is more literal, that I need to actually make a trip to the sea. One that isn't just visiting the city surrounded by the sea."

The shape stopped rising, and was staring at her.

She had no idea. She was busy.

"But there are so many places I haven't been yet... the princess wants me to visit the Gryphon's territory, I've been meaning to take Spike back to his homeland, so many things to do..." She yawned and stretched her wings, "Or maybe Spike and I just need a vacation..." She rubbed her eyes, and frowned again. "...or maybe, I just need to stop talking to my—"

She froze in place. Out of the corner of her eye, there was movement. Somepony- or something- was staring at her. Turning slowly, her fears were justified.

There it was.

It was standing behind the hedge, on the ocean-side. It had salt and pepper fur—no, that wasn't right, it was more like a mane of some kind—but its skin had no other hair that she could see, except right above those eyes.

Those big, brown, oddly gorgeous eyes.

There were also ears that resembled an apes, but again, hairless. And it didn't resemble an ape, not really. The closest thing she could pull from the science vault inside her mind was 'hairless bear'.

...although again, there was some hair. An eyebrow, perhaps?

Luna was going to have some explaining to do when she woke up.

It looked like it was expecting some kind of response. She threw on her best regal smile. "Oh. Uh. Hi. Hi there. I'm Twilight Sparkle."

It squinted its eyes, staring at her. Through her. As if it was sizing her up.

She tried to maintain her smile, although her own eye started twitching. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, actually... and you are?"

The creature's eyes went wide again, and it tilted its head, arching one of its eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes. "You know, I know that this is only a dream... and that you are just a figment of it..." Shaking her head, she wagged her hoof at the creature. "But that's no reason not to be polite."

The creature spoke. And while she did not see a mouth move or a tongue wag, there was no denying that from the direction of the hedge... came the smoothest, most velvety male voice she had ever heard in her whole life.

And it said:

"Hello, Princess Twilight Sparkle. I'm George Clooney."

---

"Twilight? Umm... Twi?"

She lifted her head off her desk, and realized she could only see out of her left eye. Blinking, she realized both irises were working, but her vision was obscured on her right. Also, something was gently kissing her cheek.

"Uh, you've got a thing on your..."

The voice was familiar, but she still felt confused about who, what where when why and how. She turned her head to the right, employing her left to figure out... Ah.

Her number one assistant was staring at her, teeth gritted in nervousness. "Do you want me to get that for you?"

She turned and saw her reflection in the mirror, and couldn't decide what was worse: her bloodshot eye, the bizarre shape her mane had transformed into overnight, or the piece of parchment stuck to her cheek, most likely from drool. A gentle ticking distracted her from her frightful appearance. She cast her free eye towards the source.

"No!"

Who knows the terror in the heart of a punctual Princess who has overslept?

"Spiiiiiikkkeeeeee!"

The dragon raised among ponies knows.

"It's okay, Twilight! Don't panic, don't panic!" Spike waved his little claws in the air, hopeful smile pasted on his face, "I've got it all figured out. Just... Listen, okay?"

Twilight's eyes did not leave the clock, but she at least started breathing, which meant she had stopped screaming.

"I explained the situation to Rarity, and she's fine, said something about needing to go fabric shopping in Canterlot. We rescheduled your meeting with her to later in the day. Okay?"

She nodded slowly, eyes still fixed on the clock but breathing approaching normal. Spike waited a few moments before unfurling a piece of parchment and reading aloud:

"So, you've still got the meeting with the griffin ambassadors at one," Spike cleared his throat, "They'll want to discuss treaty details, but you'll have to stick to hour time slot. It's the only way to keep on schedule..."

She groaned, and Spike stopped.

"We can do this after—"

"No, sorry. It's not your fault." She waved her hoof at Spike to continue.

He cleared his throat. "Tea with the princesses from 2-230-"

"Spike, I don't have time for tea! My whole day is-"

"I'm sorry, Twilight, but I've been ordered upon penalty of tickling to make sure you report to the daily tea sessions."

"Tickling?"

His usual sunny disposition darkened. "You have no idea. Anyway, Then there's the economic hearings."

Twilight brightened up. "Oh, good! I've been looking forward to those, I have several questions that-"

"Well, you're going to have to keep it short, because we pushed your gossip session with Rarity-"

"Spike! It is not a gossip session." Twilight frowned. "She does occasionally inject some random tidbits about the odd pony, but it's all for a very legitimate purpose!"

Spike coughed. "Sorry. Because we moved your, ahem, weekly Ponyville briefing to 3:45, that means you'll have to duck out of the economic hearings early to make that."

"Aww!" Twilight pouted. "But I love listening to Bits'n Coin! His theory of 'invisible hoof' economics changed the equestrian system as we know it."

Spike wrinkled his snout. "You know, I actually never understand anything those experts say after 'things are good' or 'things are bad.' No loss there."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "So after the economy and the affairs of Ponyville, what's next?"

"Well, the planning meeting for the Crystal Empire Gala is at 5, unfortunately, we still don't have their response to your proposal for a theme. The Pegasus Express flier arrives at 4, so hopefully it'll be with her."

"And then we're done, right? I want to be able to update all the projects I have going on—"

"Actually, not even close." Spike smiled sadly. "You're observing Luna's first two hours of night court, then off to Fancy Pants for his monthly cocktail hour..."

Twilight sunk her head back down onto the desk as Spike listed one obligation after another. "Spike, when did this become my life?"

He shrugged. "When you became a Princess, I guess." He looked down at the list. "You know, I could always just say you're not feeling well."

"I'm tired, not ill."

Spike nodded very slowly. "But I could just say you're not feeling well."

She frowned. "I don't want you to lie for me, Spike."

Turning the list over in his claws, he tilted his head. "It wouldn't... exactly... be a—"

Cracking her neck, she shook her head as she pushed back from her desk. "No. No. I can do this." She took a deep breath, then walked over to Spike and exhaled, grinning brightly. "Okay, let's start the day. Bring on the griffons!"

He blinked, eye twitching. "Uh, how about breakfast... and a shower...."

She stopped. "Oh, yeah."

"...and some..." he hesitated, "brushing of the teeth?"

She blushed. "Right. I'll just... right."

A thought snaked its way into her head as she trotted to the bathroom:

Who or what is a George Clooney?

Comments

[Skeeter The Lurker]

Who or what indeed...

Also, that's a hell of a schedule she's got...

~Skeeter The Lurker

[Mares Guyver]

Slowly, a shape began to rise from behind the hedge on the ocean view side.

f1.thejournal.ie/media/2013/04/clooneygif.gif

[Silver-Tongue]

This is why its important to delegate some of these responsibilities, Twilight. You needn't work yourself to the bone if you pick a few ponies who can share the burden with you. Leadership is your second, unofficial talent, so use it to lead ponies to lead the rest of Equestria with you.

Until the show proves otherwise, I'm going to assume that Twilight is so good at delegating her princess duties onto other government workers that she can live her life as unfettered as she did before her coronation. How else can one explain why we haven't seen her do anything remotely resembling actual princess duties?