ShotgunNeko
Joined 21st Jan, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- ShotgunNeko · 3.8k words · 656 53 · 24k views
- ShotgunNeko · 5.4k words · 264 26 · 7.9k views
- EveryponyEqual · 5.4k words · 682 25 · 12k views
- Anonymous Pegasus · 3.3k words · 440 36 · 9.8k views
- Ayaline · 5.1k words · 237 14 · 6.7k views
- LEPShot · 25k words · 353 41 · 10k views
- Honey Heart the filly · 18k words · 292 73 · 4.1k views
- Shakespearicles · 4.5k words · 693 35 · 12k views
Featured In9
Clopfics11,546 stories ·15,814 members
The Fillyfoolers3,946 stories ·3,488 members
- F/F ships2,904 stories ·1,412 members
Futaquestria2,536 stories ·6,257 members
Twilunestiance825 stories ·1,041 members
Cryosite2,675 stories ·252 members
The Cult of Nightmare Moon28 stories ·86 members
Stories on Goodreads28,599 stories ·492 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.194 seconds
Total duration
612 users online
872,898 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Is this anthro or something? Chest Boobs?
Nah not anthro just thinking erotically that was more attractive then the alternative lol
2164832 crotch boobs look it up on derpybooru or just explicit and see the non anthro mare images. they tend to have crotch boobs. that's what I think the author was trying to get at in this.
And another good squicky clop by ShogunNeko damn you wright faster than me. but still I write decently If only I didn't have soo many distractions.
Not if I can help it!
Okay, lets start ringing things up as I go along.
You need a comma before addressing a person such as "Hello, Rainbow Dash."
Nightmare Moon starts raping Rainbow, of course, the terrible and insulting cliche takes place: Rainbow enjoys it. I've ranted about this too much to even try to explain this.
You can't just glue tits and nipples to a non-anthro pony. You can't. Don't do it.
.... um, what? Cocks don't vibrate, and I wouldn't describe vibrating as hard. And anyways, Rainbow wouldn't get pregnant unless she was in heat, and she was not in heat, so it seems.
From what I've seen so far, I really don't want to read on. You're telling the basics of what you can and that's about it. Your story is about as complex as, Nightmare Moon fucked Rainbow Dash by sticking her dick (which I have no idea why is there) inside Rainbow. I can assume she is just going to go around and rape the other mane six in a similar fashion.
Really, this is better than some of the clopfics that have made the featured box recently, but overall it's not the prettiest.
Applejack... skimming it.
Fluttershy. Although I do like the topic, more nipples on ponies. Fuck
all I could think of was this i3.ytimg.com/vi/ru5bIty0Hqc/hqdefault.jpg
Wait. Ponies changing... Da fuk?
...
That ending... Yes! I have to say, I really liked that ending. I was coming, here, expecting to fall into another terrible clopfic that didn't deserve featured, but this one was alright. It wasn't the best, but it wasn't bad.
The thing about the rape I wrote earlier now is completely justified, since it's a fetish being carried out by a consensual unicorn and not actually rape.
But seriously, the breast things ruined it for me.
2165708 For whatever reason, the image file doesn't show, at least, for me.
2165719 fixed?
2165708 my dear sorren...i have lurked and read your posts to other authors that have hit the feature box and i too agree with you that there seems to be no rhyme or reason to what makes it in there...(even though i know there is a formula) ..that being said i am a tiny bit embarrassed that my first feature was a clop fic.... "le sigh".....but i am going to enjoy my moment in the feature box
weeeeeee!
okay now that's over......like i said in the description...some things won't make sense unless you have read Nightmare Night--The Second Cumming.
The magical cum joke was a reference to the ending of that particular fic......another in which twilight and luna engage in fun....as for the boobs thing....i didn't say the boobs were big and crazy...i said chest and nipples....i shall not write nipples in a comment box...oh damn..u made me write nipples in the comment box...lol......sorry that killed it for u man
thanx for the r and r! ;)
2165519 yes exactly thank u!
Ok, so we had a regular Nightmare and Twilight, then we had a Nightmare Night special. Do I hear a special for Hearth's Warming Eve? Because I would find it hilarious for Luna to be in a Santa suit
2165519 He said that she was on her chest. Not near her crotch. So I assumed Chest Boobs because she wasn't near the crotch
2166326 they are not crotch boobs! Ahhh can't believe I said crotch boobs lol...they are on the chest...not huge dd's...I just meant nubs poking out of the fur...sorry for the confusion
Oh no! Himmler might've activated the mature filter again to jerk off.... HIMMLER! SIE DUMMKOPF!
Sorry about that, it was pretty well written... for a clopfic.
2166326 and yes I realize that is not anatomically correct but hello....they are singing dancing magical fictitious ponies lol
2166377 I just needed to know what I was reading. Thanks for the clarification!
I have no fucking clue what a snooki is, but this was hot! Thumbs up'
I would so make that thumbs up button my bitch if I was able this has earned you a thumbs up, a fave and a watch
I'm going to hell.
Luna uses: Lie About Magic!
It's very effective!
PLOT TWIST. (No pun intended.)
2167545 more like a bull on LSD in a house of glass
2167545
?
2165942 Oh look, my comment is getting disliked for truthfulness, again.
Even when I PRAISED THE FUCKING AUTHOR!
Fuck you fimfiction.
THIS WAS GOOD!! I DEMAND ANOTHER!!!
This fic is worthless!!! YOU STUPID American! upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/ca/Osama_bin_Laden_portrait.jpg
2168870 He lives on in the pony porn! Send the Seventh SEAL team to Equestria!
...I read the other one awhile back and forgot about the plot twisting side swiping motion you are capable of carrying out.
(if only your user name was Rommel
)
2168870 Well you'll be banned soon.
2167974
While I agree with your reviews, I'm curious as to what makes you try to argue against a horde of horny teenages in clopfic comments?
Why not review em on your blog and link to that? Amit does that for his rather in depth/scathing analysi
2169785 I don't argue unless someone starts something, and since I'm a hot-headed jackass, I seem to have an inability to back down.
And horny teenagers who like badly written clop (let me re-state that this story was pretty good) need to be called out.
And please, don't mention Amit around me. I'm sure you know why.
2169792 hey sorren I don't think anyone is fighting with u....thank u for the props and I appreciated your review...everyone is entitled to ther opinion and I appreciate yours...I try to take something constructive out of each review :)..well except for that Osama bin laden guy lol wtf!
"I'd lure her in by telling her there was a party in my pants."
Nightmare in pants? Mmmmm...
"Twilight moaned happily, as she came too, her hooves curled up into little balls as she pushed against Luna’s chest."
It's sentences like these that make me wonder whether this is actually an anthro fic run through ponify.
You managed to add a plot twist in this story that has blown my mind like few ever had.
And it was clop. Good on you sir.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABzWafwY20o
2168870 You are dead. Leave us in peace, and then rest in it.
Pretty damn good ending, I especially liked the RD part
Noooo noooo that can't be I..... I killed You in Iraq how did you survive I shot up your entire body I guess I didn't finish it though *cracks knuckles and piles out tazor knuckles* also there is no snooki and jmoww in MLP its pony SNooki and random bitch
So much fun.
2166075 luna in a santa suit? yes please! haha awesome idea
2175304 thank u! glad u enjoyed it ;)
2173574 thank you very much! the RD stuff was my favorite to write hehe
2171205 thank you thank you! your praise means much to this lowly author!
2169602 lol this clip was awesome! thank u for the share ;)
2168123 thank u thank you kind sir
2166462 lol nopony knows what a snooki is hehe....thank u so much for the review!
2166728 your comment made my day possibly my week! thank u muchly
2167693 lol lies: they work every time!
2167418 along with the rest of us!
2176436
I'm just gonna leave this here for you...
No problem
THIS will be a bit of a different "proofread and review"... you'll see why.
Okay. This is strange for me to bring up, since it’s not a typo, just an incorrect description. Assuming it’s talking about Rainbow Dash, she actually wore a Shadowbolt costume on the first Nightmare Night, so technically, “Wonderbolts” could be substituted for “Shadowbolts”. Or it could just be “The same costume she wore almost every year”. D-Don’t mind me, I’ll continue searching for typos (didn’t see any of note until this part, actually. Nice job!
)
… “The pegasus’ moaned again” – There’s no need for the apostrophe. Also, there’s one point in the story where you capitalized “Pegasus”, yet several other points where you do not. I’m not sure why that is, but a quick Ctrl+F of ‘pegasus’ will being up each instance.
… “The pruple alicorn” – ‘pruple’ should be ‘purple’.
... Seriously, that's all I found.
I could spoil the surprise, but I'll compliment you for how it all came around at the end, no pun intended.
I think it could have done without the song, but I suppose that is a minor complaint. Taking the story seriously is just asking for trouble. What I WILL say, is that it's good in its own way. It's hard to really differentiate this from the first story. It's a good sequel. As a standalone, it would make very little to no sense, and would almost seem inappropriate.
... Okay, it would be VERY inappropriate in that case.
Regardless, I enjoyed it, if for anything, than the ending. I never expect your endings... so it's always a pleasant surprise for me as it goes from "clopfic" to "story" so quickly, yet so fluidly. I commend you.
2176436 Lol, well now I don't feel so bad!
2176626 good eye my friend it was a shadowbolts costume and not a wonderbolts costume! thanx for pointing that out......as for the capital p on pegasus....i don't know why but my computer kept changing it eveytime i typed it in....why would it do that? thank u for pointing out the grammar and spelling issues i will try to fix those when i have a moment
appreciate the read and review!
2176477 cool runnings! awesome!!!! great clip ! i loved sanka...(sp)
2202537 Never a problem: Pegasus is auto-corrected to its capitalized variant due to "Pegasus" being a single mythological creature, so a Proper Noun, rather than an actual, general name for a creature like "goblin" for instance.
My own published fic has 'Pegasus' capitalized out of my typing program's insistance, though I change it in chapters of my other fics on my computer. Heh... Irritating when I edit my published fic to fix errors, then I see 'Pegasus' and realize "I'm gonna have to edit this EVERY TIME, or I just keep it like this... ugh."
Good story.
2167974
Nowadays it's not just new authors who can't take constructive criticism
2332991 This author takes advice very well though; I was quite impressed by him.
2333008
I wasn't talking about this author, I'm talking about how your comment has been downvoted by readers who don't like constructive criticism the same way some new authors do.
And yeah, I noticed how good this author was
2333009 Oh, hehe. My bad.
...
WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
)
(
JK, but still
hope you do a sequel to this one sometime