Don't Trust A Wheel!
Why Trixie Doesn't Trust Wheels
“You can forgive me, can't you?”
And as Trixie said these words, she looked up at Twilight with the most innocent, vulnerable face she'd ever presented to anypony. Trixie's bottom lip curled, her eyes welled up, and Twilight realized that this was probably the first time Trixie had ever asked something of another pony with complete sincerity.
“Hmm...”
Twilight thought for a moment, but the answer felt obvious. For one so willing to redeem herself, how could she refuse?
“Sure.”
To Trixie, it had felt like the weight of a thousand Ursa Majors had been lifted from her.
“Oh, good.” Trixie uttered. She said it more to herself than to Twilight, genuinely relishing the fact that she could be forgiven. “Don't you think the great and apologetic Trixie is the most magnificent humble pony you've ever seen?”
Finished with her flair, she opened her eyes just in time to see Twilight casually shake her head with a smile on her face.
Using a bit of magic, Trixie conjured up a small blast of smoke in which to gallop away. She was a little sad leaving a town where she had a friend, and maybe she could have even had many friends in time, but that was okay. Trixie felt that she'd see Twilight and the others in Ponyville again very soon.
“Hey Trixie, wait!”
Well she didn't think THAT soon.
Slowing to a quick halt, Trixie turned around to see Twilight beckoning her back, waving her hoof rapidly.
With a hint of frustration, Trixie trotted back over to where Twilight stood.
“Twilight Sparkle, don't you know it's rude to interrupt a magicians' grand exit?”
“Don't you know it's rude to terrorize and enslave a town of good ponies?” Twilight said with an air of sarcasm.
“Trixie apologizes, really! She didn't - I didn't really-”
“Trixie, it's okay," Twilight said very delicately. “I'm just teasing. I called you back because I have a question for you, that's all. Afterwards you're free to go.”
“Oh, wonderful. Trixie was scared you'd changed your mind about forgiving her.”
“Not at all.” Twilight said matter-of-factly, a clear smile on her face. The sight really put Trixie in an even greater mood. “After I 'won' our little duel, I had some spare time before Princess Celestia arrived, so I decided to question everypony on just exactly what had happened while I was training.”
Trixie didn't say anything, but she did paw at the ground much like Fluttershy would. The accompanying frown and sad eyes completed the look.
“Among all the things I heard, and keep in mind that I heard a lot, one thing struck out at me. I can't quite understand it, and I've never heard anything like it.”
Trixie looked up at Twilight, a dash of fear in her eyes. “Was it when Trixie threw your farmer friend against the ground?”
“Her name is Applejack, and no, it was much stranger than that.”
Trixie's mood seemed to drop a little.
“Was it when I made your fashion friend craft several hundred banners in Trixie's honor?”
“Nope, stranger than that! And her name is Rarity, by the way.”
“Was it when I locked your dragon friend in a basement then used a time acceleration spell to make him experience one thousand years worth of starvation and drought?”
“You did WHAT?!” Twilight shouted with an accompanying look of absolute terror.
At this, Trixie couldn't help but laugh. “Pfff-BAHahaha actually – heh - Twilight, Trixie made that one up. Wow, that was good, but now don't Trixie's other actions seem less bad?”
Twilight still felt slightly angered, but the mirthful innocent giggling coming from Trixie helped calm her down.
“Well Trixie, Ignoring that, I'd like to get to the point. I'd heard that you made Snips and Snails pull your wagon.”
“That's correct, yes, but that's no worse nor is it stranger than my other deeds, is it?”
“Well the strange part is that you made them pull it without wheels, and from what I'd heard, you said it was because you, uumm, because you don't 'trust' them. Meaning the wheels.”
“That's correct. Trixie did say this.”
“Well...” Twilight said with an intensely curious gaze. “Could you tell me why? ”
“Trixie can do better than that, Trixie can show you! Illusion magic IS my specialty, after all!”
With a familiar flash of light and a flick of the horn, a square portal appeared between the two.
“I'll think you'll recognize my 'Flashback Window', as I've taken to calling it. Once you've seen this, you too shall never trust a wheel ever again!”
[/hr]
The crowd was cheering, and not a single 'boo' filled the audience. Who were they cheering for? Why, of course it was none other than The Great and Powerful Trixie! This particular show on the outskirts of Fillydelphia had gone off extraordinarily smoothly, not a single bump in the performance. Tonight, Trixie really had brought her A-game, something the crowd was all too eager to shout about.
“Thank you, thank you all! But the magnificent, stupendous, and amazing tricks Trixie has shown you tonight are but the tip of the ice berg!”
The fanfare really was top notch, and even Trixie herself was caught up in her own excitement. She decided to wow them all with one huge finale. It wasn't a spell she had perfected yet, but this crowd was worth the risk.
Trixie faced away from her audience and began to concentrate, her familiar magic aura appearing in front of her. Soon, the aura seemed to have sprouted something. A small green vine, with another soon following after. All along the two vines, some of the most exciting and exotic flowers that anypony had ever seen started budding before the fans' eyes. The most sought after blues, the most tantalizing purples, there were thousands of flowers just begging to be planted in the proudest of gardens.
Boy was the crowd going to be surprised when she lit them on fire.
Trixie was going to need room. A lot more room. As the first petal started to smoke, Trixie backed up.
The second petal, and she backed up further. There was a small murmur among the crowd. Apparently they'd never seen anything similar to this before.
As the third petal ignited, it set off a chain reaction catching the rest of the flowers, and as the flowers burned, the vines continued to twist and grow, the newly forming buds flaming like the rest.
A full minute later, and the wonderfully burnt flowers were alight in the shape of Trixie's Cutie Mark, and about the size of the trailer-turned stage that she was performing on.
Trixie loved the 'Oooh's' and 'aaaah's' that she was getting, however she did not love the heat she was getting. The bombardment of temperature couldn't be healthy, so she needed to back up more...more...a liiitle more...
As Trixie backed further and further, she felt her hoof kick in to something solid. She tried to regain her posture by taking another step back, but alas, her other hoof clipped the same object!
With a mighty crash, Trixie fell over sideways, off her wagon, onto the cold dirt.
And suddenly the flaming spectacle fell to the ground before shattering into many pieces. The heat had turned the vines solid, yet brittle, so the audience backed away with a gasp as flaming chunks of plant matter jumped into the crowds.
As ponies ran to safety, Trixie stood up to orient herself, not completely sure of what had happened. Trying to regain her bearing, she looked out at the crowd to see what they were all pointing and screaming about.
Well this was easy. The gasps and gestures all seemed to be pointing in the same direction. They all indicated her? That was odd. Was there something on her face?
“Your hair!” She heard one pony finally shout out. It was a nice reprieve from all of the other ponies going “Aaaahhh!” “Oh no!” and “Ah oh my Celestia!”
Conjuring up a mirror, Trixie looked at her mesmerizing appearance.
Same illustrious flowing cape.
Same beautiful eyes.
Same perfect figure.
Same flaming mane.
Oh wait, that part was new.
'Hmmm...' Trixie thought to herself. 'My mane seems to have combusted...'
…
'Oh Celestia, my mane has combusted!'
With a sense of urgency and fear that she hadn't felt since her first magic act, Trixie ran back on stage to the conveniently placed bucket of water that she kept for just such an occasion, and thrust her head in.
She left herself dunked in the bucket for several seconds, just to make sure the flaming mass no longer existed.
Pulling herself free of the bucket, she looked back upon her now-silent crowd.
“Don't worry, everypony! It'll take a lot more than a little fire to keep The Great and Powerful Trixie down!”
There was a deadly silence. Everypony was staring at Trixie, but nopony spoke. It was almost like they were waiting for something, like a catalyst of some sort.
“Well how about having no mane, baldy?” One of the stallions of the crowd called out.
And in that instant, the rest of the ponies were in an uproarious laughter.
“HAHAHAHAHA!” They were all laughing at her! The mares, the stallions, even the little fillies! She didn't understand why such a – wait.
With a desperate grasp, Trixie magically called to her the mirror from before, and held it aloft.
True as she feared, her head was as bare as the flank of a Cutie Mark Crusader, save her horn. She flung the mirror behind her to stare at her group of once-fans. Trixie sat on the stage, mortified and unable to move, yet still the crowd laughed at her.
She tried to magic up an umbrella, a cloth, a hat, something to cover her head with, but to no avail. Her magic wouldn't respond to her.
Trying to cover her bald head as best she could with her hooves, which wasn't very good at all, she slumped to the ground, unable to even crawl away.
The cruel ponies though, they still laughed at Trixie! When she was so clearly broken, with the fresh sting of tears coursing like a river, hearing her obvious sobs, even now they laughed at her after she'd given them so much.
Minutes later, the laughter had reduced to chuckling, and the first of the ponies started to leave. Another ten minutes later, the seats were clear and the area was empty, minus one still sobbing pony in the center.
Not even willing to move yet, Trixie laid still until she could cry herself to sleep, the bliss of sweet nothingness finally allowing her some relief.
[/hr]
If one were to look upon the same area later that night, they would see a very irate unicorn, minus her mane, pacing outside of a trailer.
As Trixie paced back and forth , she kept glaring at one corner of her stage, as if she was intending to focus all of her hatred on the one section of her vehicle.
“My mane, oh my wonderful mane!” She said aloud to herself, as she often did. “What is Trixie going to – YOU! This is all YOUR fault!” As Trixie paced by that same spot on her trailer, the rage had become enough that she couldn't contain it anymore.
“If you weren’t placed just so, if you folded in properly like all the others, if you didn't make me TRIP and catch my MANE ON FIRE then everything would be fine! What do you have to say for yourself, WHEEL?!”
The inanimate object didn't respond. Not even a creak of protest.
“What is your PROBLEM sticking out like that?” Trixie shouted at the monstrosity. She marched the few remaining feet to the wheel on the corner of the wagon and pressed her face right against the criminal.
“Well, Trixie has ways of dealing with foes like you, oh yes she does.”
With a sinister smile, Trixie used her magic to unbolt the heathen of a wheel from her wagon. With a mighty toss, she threw it at the nearest tree in the hopes of smashing it to a billion bits.
It's too bad Trixie forgot that she had purchased the best trailer she could afford, complete with some of the finest wheels money could buy.
With a loud 'Twang!' the wheel cracked a fraction before bouncing off the tree back whence it came, smacking Trixie directly below her horn hard enough to ensure there would be a very noticeable lump tomorrow.
“OOOW!” Trixie cried out. “Haven't you caused me enough trouble for one day? Leave Trixie in peace!”
Trixie reared up her hind leg to kick the worthy adversary. “Begone with y-OW! What the hay, wheel?”
The wheel, however, decided that it HADN'T given Trixie enough trouble, for when it was kicked upon it made sure that Trixie had bucked right into the newly formed crack. In other words, the area that was ripe for splinters.
"You. You are going to get it, you know that? Trixie's mind is spinning with possibilities right now. Should she burn you? Should she rip you to thousands of pieces? Toss you miles in the air? Or how about 'all of the above' you wretched, impudent, selfish, show ruining excuse for a wheel!"
Bravely, the wheel stared back at Trixie. It neither faltered nor ran away in fear.
“Great, just great! Now Trixie has no mane - ow - a splitting headache - ow - it's hard to walk, AND Trixie is shouting at a WHEEL! Well while Trixie is already at it, let me ask you: is there anything ELSE you want to do to Trixie?”
The wheel offered no response.
“No? WELL GOOD THEN!”
Summoning up all her magical ability, she focused her most powerful explosion upon the incorrigible wheel.
Aaaaaaaand BOOM! With the grandest of explosions, the wheel was no more! The proof of Trixie's victory was everywhere in the form of flaming wooden shards raining from the sky! Yes, this was certainly Trixie's greatest accomplishment yet, and one that she is going to cherish forever.
“HaHA! Trixie has won while you have lost, wheel! Let it be known that Trixie can - *sniff* - that Trixie can...hmm, what's that smell?”
Trixie turned to look at the source behind her.
“My tail!”
[/hr]
“And that, my dear Twilight, is why I NEVER trust wheels anymore. It took Trixie years to grow back her amazingly awesome, stupendously fantastic mane and tail. YEARS!”
The look of concern on Twilight's face was enough to melt the heart of Nightmare Moon. She felt so bad for Trixie, but Twilight had never experience anything quite like that, so she couldn't relate. Oh, the agony must have been terrible!
“Oh my gosh, Trixie that's horrible, I had no idea! Did that all really happen to you?”
“Nope! Trixie is perfectly fine with wheels, she just really doesn't like Snips nor Snails."
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hahaha
Wheels are the new Barrels.
1724223 BARRELS
1724241
FAHKING BARRELS!
Oh god this was hilarious. Absolute gold. I hope this fic goes on to greatness; I shall do my part to do so. Have a like and fav. Oh yeah, and my seal of approval for being thoroughly awesome:
i1297.photobucket.com/albums/ag40/Shanenator777/ExcellentBetter.jpg
Trixie was so embarrased and she started crying, spaghetti leaked from her every orifice.
Was good story.
You know... I don't blame her.
Trixie is such a stinker
That was wonderful!
1724241>>1724245
I KNEW IT!
Dat ending
I wasn't expecting that ending
this is brilliant; i could see it getting featured.
hehe loved this!
The final sentence needs closing quotation marks. Other than that, really funny. I love Trixie.
DAT LAST SENTEANSH.
I LOL'd so hard I woke up my Mom
Ending punchlines are best punchlines.
Seriously, Trixie should look into making that Flashback Screen larger for outdoor showings. Trixie: inventor of the drive-in!
I was getting really sad until I got to the end.
And that ending punchline... genius!
1724223 1724241 1724245 Barrels? I don't get it.
1724248 Good, good, let the wheels flow through you.
1724249 Thank you! But spaghetti? I don't quite get it.
1724312 Nuuu uh! I love Trixie!
1724441 Thanks for that, I really do hope it gets featured, buuuut I don't think it will.
But that's fine, thank you for liking it. :D
1724580 Whew! Oh man do I hate grammatical mistakes. It's been fixed! Thank you VERY much.
1724607 Glad to hear it.
hope you didn't get in trouble though.
1724669 I theorize she already invented drive-ins. How else did she afford that amulet in the first place?
1724707 I didn't think the ending woud go over as well as it did, so thank you!
1724714
Glad you liked it!
Ok that ending was just fantastic XD
Haha, this has been excelent!
Why didnt I see this coming, considering how Trixie is?
Trixie, Snips and Snails are probably the only fans you have right now...
spin da wheel pewdie!
1725972 are you making a PewDiePie reference? Be careful, the Tobuscus fans will retaliate!
1724768 It's a 4chan thing that started in 2009... hard to understand it is, but they make it work.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/205/496/SEXML.jpg
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/211/433/1320730419614.png
fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/336/3/7/trixie_doesn_t_trust_wheels_by_zicygomar-d5mu2y7.png
I was thinking...... Is this the actual reason why she hates them so much?
That was a lot funnier than I was expecting.
And I was expecting quite a bit.
OK, this was pretty damn good. I cracked up during the episode when Trixie said she didn't trust wheels. This story was funny, until I got to the end. And then it was hilarious.
Hope you don't mind some corrections (this story has no other problems, so grammar is the only thing I can pick on):
"Trixie trot back over" -> "trotted" (don't get confused with "trod" which is the past tense of "tread")
"interrupt a magicians grand exit" -> "magician's"
"the pain of one thousand years starvation and drought" -> "years of starvation"
"some anger already edging it's way in." -> "its"
"It wasn't a spell she perfected yet" -> "she had perfected" (past perfect)
" budding before the fans eyes." -> "the fans' eyes"
"As the third petal ignite, it set off" -> "ingited"
"just to make sure the flaming mass no longer exist." -> "existed"
"The mares, the stallions, even the little filly's" -> "fillies"
"She said aloud to herself, as she often does." -> "often did"
"It's too bad Trixie forgot that she purchased the best trailer" -> "she had purchased"
"bouncing of the tree back to whence it came" -> "off" and "back whence" (there's no need for "to" or "from" when using "whence")
Hilarious!
Haha, that's a good one.
I only really had one problem with this, other than that you need another proofreading check.
>bare as a Cutie Mark Crusader
Implying that Sweetie Belle, Scoots, and Apple Bloom are all bald. You might have used "foal's flank" or some derivative of that.
1724768
Its a joke from PewDiePie on YouTube. He has a hatred for barrels for unknown reasons.
Alright I'm going to be honest here. I read the whole story, because it has such good ratings. Plus it has comedy, so I would be expecting to laugh alot, right? I didn't laugh once. No offense, it's probably just me. Maybe it's because I never saw the new Trixie episode, but I don't see how that would change my view that much. Don't feel disheartened though. It's still a well-written story, but I guess just not my type.
Maybe THAT'S what caused Trixie to face plant at the end of the episode, she tripped over a wheel.
Trixie: "DUMB WHEEL!"
Rarity and Sweetie Belle: (Both of them are holding a baseball bat in their hooves)"That's MY line!"
Rarity: "What do you mean it's your line I said it first!"
Sweetie Belle: "No you didn't!"
Like a spy.
1724768 Nope, she just came to check that nothing was wrong. :P
1726156 hmm the discord in me wants to instigate an argument, though at the same Time I don't....
what to do, what to do
1724768
... Rock Farm? ...
I don't think anybody actually likes Snips and Snails, it's like they're the opposite of The Cutie Mark Crusaders.
This fic was great, but here is my reason for why Trixie doesn't trust wheels.
i.imgur.com/Nk3vR.jpg
She was planning on returning in season 2, but lost at Wheel of Fortune and had to work for cash.
Trixie: "The great and Powerful Trixie would like to solve. Clearly the answer is: Suck it, Twilight."
Pat pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation and let out a deep sigh. "For the last time, it is not 'Suck it, Twilight' and the category is famous place."
Months Later
Snips: "Wouldn't it be easier if it had wheels?"
Trixie looks upon the young colt in annoyance. "The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn't trust wheels."
I hate Snips and Snails too. Especially if they crushed my house with a Ursa Minor
1726575 Wow, that's...intense? Made me
in any case.
1726772 Well I'm glad to exceed expectations!
1726776 YOU...you are just...the best kind of person. I always re-read my chapters/stories three times before i submit them, but something always slips! Thank you, you rock.
1727543 Hey, not everything is for everyone, and I get that. Still though, if you watch the episode, it may change your perspective. Hell, watch the episode anyway because it's phenomenal!
1728323 You win a mustache. Here you go.
1728990 I enjoy both PewDiePie and Tobuscus. Haven't seen Nova or Captain yet though.
1729181 That's definitely one alternative. I imagine Trixie doesn't have much good luck...
1729212 Well boy do I have a surprise for you!
1729336 I'm a robaz, pewdie, and cry fan
they are the only ones I have seen
that wheel was a true bro
1729336
A last thing on Trixie and wheels.
Meanwhile, at Ghost Fort
THE WHEEL!! Come on, wheel. Trixrasmus needs this. UUUUUUUBERCHHHHARGE!! MAGIC!! IT IS AN EXACT SCIENCE!!
*appears at that very moment*
DAMN YOU, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!
You have created a work of art. I salute you.
*walking home*
I know that our farm let Trixie perform, but I didn't get to see! Dang it! *notices flaming and demolished area in what was supposed to be a clearing*
...
My tree! It's on fire! *runs off from giant burning used-to-be-Trixie-performing-cart*
1729336 as a man who has meet Pewdiepie i can say hes a damn ass hole.
One imagines the image of Trixie sitting in a fishing boat, with a little motor pulling it along, line over the side ...
Welcome to Discord's Domain. Enjoy your stay in the chaos capital of the world. Oh, and there's no way out. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png
The ending is so very much 'old Trixie
'. I guess she can't have changed much over the day-or-so between her defeat and leaving Ponyville again, but if she tried to say anything else, she'd have had the chance to find out just what Nightmare Moon had been doing on the moon the previous thousand years.