VelvetBear008
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Dearest Dexter,
Please murder Angel Bunny. Dispose of the corpse in a hilarious yet brutally painful way.
Love,
Bronies.
Yes, a Dexter crossover that retains him as a human!
Well, what's with the upside-down quotation marks at the beginning of each dialogue line? Did you import this from Google Docs?
Dexter Morgan, the world's most favorite serial killer, has somehow been teleported to Equestria.
need a comma after the name and lower case the "t". improper grammar "most" favorite. Need a comma after killer. I would switch "somehow" and "been", not sure it is a grammar problem, but i think it flows better regardless.
He will early gain new friends, but his 'Dark Passenger' wants some enemies. What is going to happen then? What about his 'Dark Passenger'? How is he going to survive an absence of killing?
think you retyped this sentence and "early" was left over accidentally. need comma after "friends". The first sentence is phrased oddly, and i think it should be reworded (it changes from something he is "gaining" to something he "wants", should make them the same with this type of sentence structure. E.G. "He wanted to gain new friends, but his 'Dark Passenger' wanted to gain him new enemies." or "He gains new friends, but his 'Dark Passenger' also gains him new enemies.") need question mark after "passenger". last sentence needs to be reworded, doesn't imply what you wanted it to imply.
haven't read the story, but you have poor grammar in the description.
This story has potential. Hope to read more soon. Good first chapter.
No crossover tag?
1670978 Well...
Thanks... I'll edit it somehow.
I was expecting this Dexter:
images.wikia.com/dexterslab/images/2/2c/Dexters.jpg
1674648 Never!
I'm not familiar with Dexter's personality as I don't watch the show, so I don't know if this is just him being in character or a grammar mistake.
This is surly a mistake.
Also... Mind reading?
Great chapter, you've got my attention for now.
Why is reading the mind of the human in Equestria one of the favorite past times of Celestia in lots of HiE fics?
1676812
Easy way to tell if you are a threat. It reveals everything about you since most ponies live innocently its like she needs to catch up with the many years you spent outside of her influence. I can honestly imagine Dexter going "OH fuck me sideways!" at that little expose. I just want to see how this will play out.
1677011 Well it's not like he is outright mean/evil or whatever..... sure he has a thing of killing murderers..... but..... maybe Celestia will look past that.... or not. Sort of depends on what her mindset is in this universe.
1677267
Or if you flow this way. Celestia cures his Psychopathic qualities. Or he escapes somehow. There are alot of ways to make this work. Just depends on the author.
1674648 And here's what happens when you mix the 2 together: geekologie.com/2010/02/17/dexter-dexter-mashup.jpg
1677300 He's like a good psychopath...... if there is even one that can be good.....
1677337
You gotta imagine though Where would he fit in in a place that has low crime level and nothing on the levels of what we have here on earth? I mean Gilda steals an apple and flips her shit and nobody gets her to pay for whatever she had done.
1677352 Killing gryphons?
1677352
Not so cut and dry but perhaps make him like the secret weapon of the Equestrians
Interesting ideas are here.
I really hope you continue with this.
I can just imagine this playing out like a proper episode of Dexter.
Though, for next chapter, please fix the spelling errors, you can do that in any basic word document program, and also, one question, what's going on with the speaking quotations? They should be like "this" but yours go upside down like „this“. I've seen that before, not sure what it is though is it from another language?
The only thing I don't like is Fluttershy referring to him as a pet. They scarcely do that for other creature that can talk, and he has proven himself quit sentient, so I'm not sure, maybe It's just a personal thing, cause I wouldn't ever call a talking animal a pet.. but again, that's just me.
I thoroughly enjoyed this. It's great. I love it when mature things are crossed over with innocent things, and they work together.
How will Dexter get out of this? You'll need to be clever, and I know you can. Please do continue, thumbs up all the way.
1686154 Oh thanks!
Yes, in my language the quotation marks go upside down. i will write them this way in this fic.
So thank you again for yor opinion.
On Friday i'm posting new chapter.
Come on, what kind of description is that? At least try a little harder. (By the way it's called an Indian Shirt)
One more thing, although Dex's dad may be a figment of his imagination, Dexter has never admitted this to himself. Dexter sees him as a father figure to keep him aligned with The Code. So he just doesn't just *poof* in and out of existence like the Cheshire Cat, he enters and leaves at his own discretion when Dexter needs him.
Look, I know I'm probably sounding like an ass at this point, but I really want to see this story work.
1699339
I don't call that description
He did in my story.
You're not completely right. In the fic he too shows up when Dexter needs him, but even in the series he sometimes enters and leaves when Dexter does not. Dex often just imagines how Harry would at the moment react.
It's cool, don't really care about the grammar, and its got my attention. Good show ol chap jolly good show.
Aw hells broke loose.
*tastes fic* Hmmm.... Needs more Murdering....
1732960 Oh trust me, there will be
1732964
I sense Lyra Will not see many more moons. Dont you inner evil.
Yes She wont even be able to scream hehehehe
1736311
1739228
Yessiree I am certifiably insane.
1739327 That's alright. I am too.
1739439
Wearry?
1739469
What's with the weird quotes on the first quotation but not on the second?
1746332 I don't see any
The cover image quite sucks.
And the reason is... that I made it
I have a feeling Celestia's spell actually worked and she's covering for him.
Oh god shit about to hit the wall.
1764856
^Quite
4.bp.blogspot.com/-dX--lNk_BFc/UAOJGyRPLeI/AAAAAAAAHT4/UHmpIKDtkn4/s1600/when_the_shit_hits_the_fan_321595.jpg
Two ways this could end. Shitstorm or Party. Pinkie has yet to pull some crazyness so my money is on a party.
Finish him....
Yay! Somepony murdered Lyra! That means Dexter can finally DO something.
Though, y'know, sucks Lyra's dead.
Our favorite sociopath's wish come true. And he came prepared with his bag of toys. Doesn't that mean that he will be the prime suspect of Lyra's murder?
*Happy Psychopathic Dance*
Murder Murder Murder! Murder Murder Murder!
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0ani9g9dg1rqfhi2o1_500.gif
static.themetapicture.com/media/funny-gif-man-dancing.gif
Heh... My name is Dexter too
Lyra is dead.
Well that escalated quickly..... I wonder how the ponies will react... will it be the he's a monster now route, run..... or the unsure he did good route?
1771677 Maybe