Memories Don't Fade Away: Act II

The sequel to 'Memories Don't Fade Away'.
After the stallion finds out the human of Derpy's diary was real and still is, can he bring him back together with his lost love? And if so, what price will he have to pay? (Not a one-shot as intented)

Don't even try to read it if you haven't read the first story.

Chapters (2)

Comments ( 11 )

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Sausagefanclub

Sausagefanclub #1 · Mar 3rd, 2013 · 1 · · Chapter I ·

YUS! You wrote a sequel!

The ending of the first story was great as-is, but this makes it even better. I can't read it right now because it;s a little late for me, but this is definitely going onto my Read Later list.

Toodle Flip

Toodle Flip #2 · May 15th, 2013 · 1 · · Chapter I ·

I felt the first story was great, if a bit sketchy on details (as to where the human came from, and a whole slew of other things, namely more exposition that wasn't there for the relationship between Ryan and Derpy apart from them simply being together). As far as the tags go, you are spot on, but I may show confusion with the slice of life tag. This is more of a personal feeling, and an author need not explain his or her work to others.

I am certainly not a critic (or at least a professional one), but I did notice that the major problem was the whole Lost problem. You make questions that everyone wants the answers to, then when you do answer them, they only raise more questions. If this is the route you intended, you are doing it splendidly. Otherwise, it may leave some readers frustrated.

I did notice however, there was some swearing so... watch the age bar. I don't think some of the language is appropriate for everyone.

Overall, I like the story, and see potential in the story, but I shall wait before giving a final analysis. Keep writing the story the way you want to, and I may see the light (or darkness depending on whether or not light is considered evil).

I find some of the character conversation implausible, at least with the relations between Ryan and Velvet. You would need to be Ned Flanders (aka doormat) level meek in order not to be offended by Ryan's attitude, but yet again, it is too early to say whether or not they get along.

Sorry about the whole critic thing, but if I wasn't genuinely interested, I wouldn't be here, making a comment (however, I would find it rude to leave a dislike without reason why. I won't leave one however, because nothing like this deserves a dislike. Only if the story is truly terrible. If one does not like the story, do not read it, because disliking a story you wouldn't read is just plain rude) I see potential, but not quite a like status for me, so I will favorite it and watch to see where it goes.

My analysis thus far is only really a preliminary and is probably a complete mess. Yet again, sorry. I, being completely foreign to you probably shouldn't be even posting this, but I wished to raise my concerns and say good luck with your story.

VelvetBear008

VelvetBear008 #3 · May 21st, 2013 · · · Chapter I ·

2581632 Thanks for the long comment :)
I want to explain everything (as where the human come from etc.) in this story.... that's all I wanted to tell you... :) Thanks again

Officer Hotpants

Officer Hotpants #4 · Jul 17th, 2013 · · · Chapter I ·

pigment of Derpy's imagination

Figment. "Pigment" is color. Your skin pigmentation, for example.
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Awesome to finally have the follow up. If it's anything like the original then I'm sure it'll be a great success.

Netaro