"Sorry, not allowed."
“I can’t wait to go on this new rollercoaster!” Pinkie Pie squealed with delight as she jumped up and down in her long-awaited place near the front of the queue. “It’s got loop-de-loops up the yazoo, downhill parts where you’re like aarrgghh and slow upward climbs where you go zzzzz… but that’s only cos it’s setting you up for the major fantabulousness that lays ahead!! It’s gonna be a total blast-a-roony!!”
“Okay, first of all ‘total blast’ is my catchphrase, please don’t ruin it for me.” Rainbow Dash, as much a daredevil as the frenzied funster frowned at Pinkie’s unintended infringement. “Also, could you stop leaping onto my head while you’re bouncing around? I know you’re excited ‘n’ all, but if you’re not careful you’ll lose your place in the queue. I think that muscular white pegasus behind you has designs on your position…”
“What? Bulk Biceps? Don’t be silly, Rainbow. He’s a total sweetheart!” Pinkie checked behind her briefly, before confidently replying to Rainbow. “He’s just a bit upset I stepped on his hoof earlier. I offered to kiss it better for him, but he said no. Well, if ‘yelling-out-loud-whilst-the-veins-in-his-neck-exploded’ means ‘no’, that is.”
“Just be careful where you tread, ‘Kay? The gate will be open any minute now, so save your enthusiasm for when we’re on the ride proper. You can make as much noise as you like then. Just... not directly into my ear.”
“Minutes? I thought it would be seconds. Aww…” Pinkie looked down onto the ground in disappointment briefly, but soon perked up when she spotted a familiar face. “Hey, Twilight! Yoo-Hoo, Twily! H-E-L-L-O T-W-I-L-I-G-H-T. W-E’R-E O-V-E-R H…”
“Yes, I can see you quite clearly Pinkie. Just because I read a lot of books, it doesn’t mean I suffer from myopia.” An obviously irritated Twilight approached the periphery of the line to remonstrate with the smiling baker.
“My-what? Never mind. Wanna come on this rollercoaster with me and Rainbow? Ever since Fluttershy chickened out to go home and feed her chickens, Applejack left us to try her hoof at apple-bobbing, and Rarity said that ‘such a rough ride is incompatible with a lady who’s just her mane done’ or something, we’ve had at least one slot free. Care to make this twosome a funsome threesome?”
“I only came here today to officially open proceedings at the fair, Pinkie. Just one of my many duties, now I’m a Princess. I was just heading back to catch Spike scoffing diamonds and rubies on my throne when he should be cleaning the Castle Of Friendship from top to bottom. He always managed to elude me before now, but I'll get him one of these days…”
“Forget it Pinkie, all you’re going to hear from Twilight is a bunch of lame excuses.” Rainbow Dash thought she knew the real reason behind the newly-crowned alicorn’s reluctance to step aboard, and she wasn’t afraid to say it. “The truth is, our all-conquering royal egghead is scared-stiff. I saw the look on her face when she passed that quesadilla stall. Pure, undiluted fear.”
“Wait, no, you have it all wrong. I-I wasn’t looking at the…” Twilight didn’t know how to finish that sentence without completely embarrassing herself. “I mean, there are so much more fulfilling ways for one to spend their spare time. You can curl up with a good novel, alphabetise your agendas, polish silverware, spread the message of love and friendship worldwide…”
“Wow Rainbow, I think you’re right! She is a total scaredy-cat-pants! And, she’s not even wearing any clothes!” Pinkie provided Twilight with a cursory attire check (or the lack of it) before she returned to staring at the ride in anticipation. “It’s a shame, this unforgettable experience would be at least 25% cooler with you accompanying us, but I guess me and Dashie are the only brave ponies around here…”
Whilst Rainbow shot Pinkie another dirty look for yet again ‘illegally’ stealing and modifying one of her favourite sayings without express permission, Twilight was getting increasingly hot under the collar (if she had a shirt on, that is. And as we’ve just established, she wasn’t).
“W-What are you trying to imply here? That I’m some kind of coward? I’ll have you know, I have very real excuses… I mean reasons for not wanting to…”
“Rides open. Everypony step back, and enter the carriages one at a time. No shared seats, put your safety belts on and no eating while the ride’s in progress. I do not want to have to wash sticky cotton candy out of my mane tomorrow again, if you so please.”
The bespectacled nasally-voiced stallion in charge of the rollercoaster pulled the cordon back to indicate it's official opening, as Pinkie and Rainbow looked at each other before shrugging their hooves and galloping off to get the best seats.
“W-Wait. I didn’t even tell you why…” Twilight reached a forlorn forehoof over to her now absent friends to no avail, too caught up as they were in a competition to get to the front caboose as quickly as possible. This is too much. I can’t have them thinking I’m some kind of… wimpy, whiny wuss! That would validate at least two unfair stereotypes about the more studiously intellectually-gifted! There’s only one thing for it…
“Move aside!!” Discarding proper decorum momentarily, a determined Twilight pushed ahead a throng of eager ponies to shove her way into contention for the next ride. I’ll show them I’m not just some nerdy wallflower who quakes at the thought of a high-speed contraption going round-and-round in circles! I’ll complete this ride for the sake of unappreciated geniuses and geeks everywhere, and prove once and for all we’re not just a load of wet blankets when it comes to…
“And just where do you think you’re going?”
The nebbish ride-operator swiftly moved to block Twilight’s seemingly inexorable route to the rollercoaster, even as everypony else began piling on in front of her.
“I-I’m going on the ride with my friends. If you look behind you, you’ll see there’s plenty of room…”
“That’s not the issue. The issue… is this.” The thin brown stallion with the glasses motioned with his feather quill to the tip of Twilight’s horn, to the base of her tail.
“I-I don’t understand. Whatever could the problem be?” Twilight afforded herself a quick glance over her body, but it was just as plain and purple as it had ever been.
“I will clearly demonstrate the ‘problem’, if you’ll just give me a moment.” The operator went over to his enclosed booth, throwing aside a much-used notebook and his paper-bag lunch in a quest to discover what he was looking for. “Aha, here we are.”
He produced a rather goofy lifesize cardboard cutout of a pony that more-than-slightly resembled Derpy Hooves and held it against a nonplussed Twilight, nodding his head as if this confirmed his suspicions.
“Yep, just as I thought… way too tall. When you’ve done this job as long as I have, you gain a sixth sense for these sort of things. Sorry Miss, you’ll have to step off now because the ride is about to start.”
What the… “Now look here, Mister…”
“The name is ‘Pencil Pusher’ ma’am, and it’s nothing personal. We just can’t have anypony of your advanced size on the ride. Our seats are not constructed to take mares as big as you, and besides that your extra-long horn might get caught in some of the lower-hanging tracks along the set route. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is. I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them. That’s how I got this badge, you see?”
“Uh huh.” Twilight raised an eyebrow at Pencil Pusher’s somewhat unimpressive plastic nametag, where several of the carefully typed letters in the middle had long since faded away to make it appear as if it spelt something much ruder. “So you’re telling me, if any of the other Princesses turned up right now, and gave you a direct order to let them on this ride…”
“I’d tell them exactly the same.” Pencil Pusher stated this claim with absolute certainty, and as unlikely as it seemed Twilight believed he would. “I’m not jeopardising the job I love for anything, even the risk of going to prison. Health And Safety isn’t just a job, it’s a calling… and it’s one I was born to answer. It’s not like I’m singling you out specifically; this cast-iron rule also applies to some of the bigger stallions, like the large red guy from earlier who said ‘Yup’ and ‘Nope’ a lot, and the bodybuilding fitness freak over there…”
Pencil Pusher pointed with a shaking scrawny hoof at a nearby Bulk Biceps, who was giving him the mother of all vengeful stares. Whether Pencil's obvious trembling was caused by the fact that this was the exact type of musclebound bully who used to kick sand in his face when he was a mere bureaucrat is unclear, but at least he had a perfect opportunity to get his own back now. Kinda.
Unable to think of anything else to state in her defence, Twilight could only back away in slight annoyance as the rollercoaster began its steep uphill ascent without her on board. Pinkie and Rainbow were both so excited they even forgot to wave, and the loss of experiencing this fun activity with her friends left a hollow feeling at the back of her head.
Out of all the things I thought I’d miss the most after my alicorn transformation, I never would’ve thought ‘going on a fairground ride’ would be somewhere at the top of the list! ‘List’… now there’s an idea. I suppose I better get home and start compiling one of all the stuff that’ll be different for me from now on. And as Spike will be busy sweeping his room when I return (I wish) I know just the unoccupied sturdy chap to help me…
She turned to an irate Bulk Biceps, who’d resorted to taking out his frustrations on the now-unsupervised cardboard cutout by headbutting it to oblivion. “Hi there. You seem like a hard worker. I was wondering though, do you know anything about filing, tabulating, pigeon-holing…?”
Something quick I worked on, while writing the latest chapter of another fic. 
You know what they say... 'if you don't write down your ideas quickly, they become dust'. Or, something like that. 
Anyway, hope you liked it... and Happy Halloween (or Nightmare Night, if that's you prefer). 
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I like it
Nice short story; a very Twilight reaction. I liked your OC too, by the way.
Lose a ride, gain a minion
11733885
I was hoping you would. Hopefully, others agree.
11733941
Thanks. I just thought of my old teacher, and everything else just kind of fell into place.
11733957
Better than those yellow thingies anyway.
Oh lord yes. I was tired of them after the first movie. And then they got a franchise...
Reminds me of how the current and former presidents of the United States are not allowed to drive a car. Hay, there are some sacrifices you don’t even think about when you’re head of state
She could use a spell to shapeshift into a smaller form temporarily it was done by celestia in the comics.
11734001
I guess people found them ‘cute’. The mind boggles…
11734286
…Now that would be cheating.
11734038
Nowt wrong with taxis & buses. Might even help them get to know the ‘common folk’.
On the bright side, Twilight won't have to hear Rainbow and Pinkie call her a scaredy-cat-pants. Or would she risk proving them right if she got on that roller coaster and
get scared and scream like a big scaredy-cat-pants and lose her dignity as a mare and princesslose her nerve.11734291
While buses and taxis sound like it'd make sense, I think the point behind the rule is US presidents have to be driven by Secret Service agents, who have special driving skills to make a getaway in case the president is attacked. Presidents can't even ride in open top cars after JFK's assassination. So there would probably be an even bigger security concern in a public bus. Unfortunately it has nothing to do with getting to know the common folk...
Also, Celestia and Luna did indeed ride a roller coaster in Between Dark and Dawn.
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/95a30faa-aba6-404e-84dc-d2c94256ffe3/deuekmr-1961a307-6e4d-4796-8ae6-3606f2348aac.gif?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzk1YTMwZmFhLWFiYTYtNDA0ZS04NGRjLWQyYzk0MjU2ZmZlM1wvZGV1ZWttci0xOTYxYTMwNy02ZTRkLTQ3OTYtOGFlNi0zNjA2ZjIzNDhhYWMuZ2lmIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.CZp1Fkrpj5mqDvuTmr8m6ZH29uI8Ng-5PMGCTcP1onE
11734381
It was kind of a gag. And obviously the operator of that particular rollercoaster in that episode cares nothing for proper safety protocol. Personally, I think we could all do with a 'Pencil Pusher' in our life... whether we realise it or not...
11734334
Anything's better than crapping your 'scaredy-cat-pants' out of fear I suppose. At least Twilight doesn't have to face that problem...
This felt like a good setup to a punchline we never got
11734709
Good job it wasn't a joke, then.
She should make her own theme park, with blackjack! And Hookers!
11734794
Like an R-rated version of Las Pegasus then. Hurray!
11734709
Agreed. This felt like the start of a story, but it just finishes before getting to a middle. There should have been some sort of retribution for Pencil Pusher, especially after he called a customer a “freak.” Or have Twilight use her magic to reduce her size. Something.
11735201
) and you just have to go with the flow.
As the author, I'd like to think I'd never be so lazy as to cut short a story which could be realistically expanded upon. In this fic's case though, it was my intention to show that sometimes in life things are unfair I just realised that rhymes with funfair, I should've used that
Also, IMHO Pencil Pusher did nothing wrong... he was just doing his job, allbeit in a slightly overzealous fashion. And calling someone a 'fitness freak' is hardly the same as calling him a standalone 'freak', it just means Bulk Biceps likes to keep fit. Which he does. 💪
Poor Twi.
he was right, what if her horn clipped a metal beam or something. would be crazy. as some author here once said, "like stubbing your toe, but it's connected directly to your brain"
11735438
Actually, he's wrong. IRL I have NEVER seen a MAXIMUM HEIGHT or MAXIMUM WEIGHT limit on a rollercoaster or any other ride at an Amusement Park.
I have seen MINIMUMS and only those.
11735456
IRL i never saw a talking horse either!
Probably should be scarfing unless this is some dialect I don't know about.
11735540
Yep. It’s a posh word for…. well, what you think it is.
11735456
The limits do exist, but human engineers tend to ensure that said limits are far away enough from average that a human that flouts them would a) be very rare, b) very obviously not fit, and thus posting the limits would be redundant. Heck, some now very old rides (not rollercoasters, though) that I've seen in real life would indeed struggle to take an adult just in terms of fitting the vehicle, being designed for unaccompanied children (playground equipment, too).
Ponies may find such designs more acceptable, leading to ones where normal-sized adults are at the top end of the safe range to be deployed.
11735456
Haven't been to very many Amusement parks have you? They all have them. It sucks but that's life.
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I'm toying with the idea of including an alternate ending. Not a MASSIVELY different one, but different nonetheless.
If you're interested, please respond. If I get at least five replies to the positive... I'll do it, you just see if I don't.
Or you can ignore this, and walk away. Thanks for reading, anyway.
11736594
Do it!
11736594
Idk, man. If you're unhappy with how you ended it, go for it. It's your fanfiction, the only one you have to impress is yourself, really.
11736666
I’m not ‘unhappy’ with how I ended it. This is just an added bonus. It won’t replace the original ending. Anyway, I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then.
11736594
You have my attention
11736594
Do eet! I shall give you a choccy chip cookie if you do it.
11736594
Yes please
11736594
I'd be all for an alternate ending.
I was kind of expecting Twilight to do something funny or kind of crazy. Maybe a spell that goes awry, in some sort of spectacular way… or she writes a letter to Princess Celestia Asking why Alcorn have to be so tall and if she’s ever had any issues something like that. Lol adding an alternative ending whatever it may be. Sounds like a fun idea.
11736594
I'd love to see a sequel where she looks up an age-reversal spell, shrinks herself down, and goes back to get in line again. I'd laugh myself silly if she ends up too short.