• Member Since 9th Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Dark Tail


Welcome to the other side of the fandom. Please sit back and relax, there are cookies and punch by the door.

Comments ( 28 )

Hell yeah, already looking hot from the cover alone!:rainbowwild:

Kinda want a sequel or two following this group.

11651599
Keep any eye out, I'm planning to work on a follow up chapter this weekend. :twilightsmile:

That was a pretty hot one dude! 10/10 :applecry: :unsuresweetie: :scootangel:

This was very good, looking forward to that follow up!

This was pretty good, but there could have been a bit more depth to the smut when it got there. A little more foreplay, focusing on how it feels for each of them a bit more. Sorta felt like it was just sort of there and done. But the build up to it was really good.

He had just turned it on, listening to the theme start to play as the elf started to walk towards these three triangles as a mysterious voice in the text told him to " accept his quest here young hero ."

yep Zelda

11652433
I agree. There should have been a longer foreplay, and Button Mash and Sweetie Belle snogging before moving through the bases until sex in the pool. I was expecting him to get some action from Scootaloo too.

there should be a next episode where the mother leaves for a couple days and all three of the girls and him have a pool party with themselves and have a threesome.

11653048
I'll work with that. Got a second chapter already in the works but may do a bonus afterwards. Saw someone mention pool party for example, I might use that.

this could really use some proofreading. It seems like you don't know the difference between "your" and "you're," or "its" and "it's."

And also, it seems like you don't know when to use "but" instead of "and." there were lots of times when you said "but" -- like "She had small B cups *but* a thin athletic build" -- when you should have used *and,* instead.

Also, if they're supposed to be Anthros, why do they still have hooves?

11653467
Yeah I try to proofread best I can but for some reason I struggle to catch everything. All my proofreaders have become unavailable/unreachable/haven't been on in years. Also yes they are Anthro, so they have hooves instead of feet. I know some anthros will do feet but its all down to preference.

11653358
Marvellous to see. I await eagerly. Will Button and Sweetie attend a pool party thrown by their school-friends, and sneak off for some fun of their own; or will Button be allowed some sex by Scootaloo?

11654250
I haven't started writing that chapter yet, so it will be surprise for the both of us.

Chapter 2 Light exhibitionism, plot, casual sex.

Damn it, and here I was hoping for ranked, competitive sex! :rainbowlaugh:

We are in an open relationship. There was already a set precedent that if we found someone else, then there would be no hardships about it.

But! It does leave an interesting avenue open if say, Sweetie still wants to keep things going and then drags the other two in for some Button time.

I'm ashamed to admit I didn't catch Tunnel Build as a Minecraft stand-in until the Don't Mine at Night reference :facehoof:

Cool to see a new chapter. Little disappointed we don't get to see Apple Bloom and Button, but that's your call. Though that could change.

This was a great bonus chapter! Very steamy!😏

Huh… From the description, I didn’t expect so much action in just the first chapter. This is quite good!

Quite good indeed! Second chapter was a bit on the short and summarized side, but the last chapter definitely makes up for it. Scootaloo’s really the star of the show in the third chapter, which suits me just fine!

I really thought the chapter would keep going after Scootaloo, but it didn’t. Not much of a pool party, really. I was expecting the grand finale to be Button getting action with all three of them. I get the impression that their whole pool party lasted all of 15 minutes before winding down. Should have let them have fun after Scootaloo finished — slide on the slide, get those drinks, dance a little, etc. Meanwhile, Button could get his second wind and start fooling around with one of the other two CMCs. Or at least give the impression that this kind of stuff will happen after fading out. So it seems like more of a party — a party that doesn’t necessarily end just because Button blew his load. … Anyway, though, the session with Scootaloo was enough to get the job done, though, so I shouldn’t complain too much.


(Oh, and you did use ‘tube’ instead of ‘tub’ once in chapter 2.)

MOW

11653674

Yeah I try to proofread best I can but for some reason I struggle to catch everything.

That's normal. You know what you intended to write, so your brain feeds you that instead of going through the effort of decoding what you see.

Scootaloo: “I’m a shark.”


Is this a Nimona reference?

11715618
I actually have not seen that yet but have heard great things about it.

"Yeah... I thought we were... Skinny dipping..." She said slowly.
Apple Bloom seemed to perk up a bit at that as did Button who sat up slightly. She pointed downwards at her. "Ya mean to tell me... Ya'll got nothing under thar?"
She blushed and nodded.

Oh no!
Anyway...

Scootaloo went over and began to slowly untie her robe. "Not only that, we think your brave for coming out here like this. I should be the one here ready to go skinny dipping, I'm supposed to be the cool one after all." She grinned up at her friend.

:rainbowwild:: "That's my girl!"

"Maybe he might be willing to share like we do. Sounds like you have a little bit of a crush as well."
The Pegasus shook her head. "Nah, just want to take a ride or two on his dick. Sweetie Belle can do whatever else she wants with him."

Button: "Fine by me!"

"Well, I guess we should go..."
"You can stay if you want. I don't mind." Button said, surprised at his own words.
Apple Bloom regained her senses. "Really? Your cool with us be'in here?"

Well, he is a young stallion and you are two young, beautiful mares.
I'm sure he is very cool with that.

Button quickly nodded. Sweetie turned back to him and he smiled at her. "Yeah, I got a big crush on you too. Of your two friends, I think you look the sexiest."
Scootaloo clapped her on the shoulder. "You see, told you. Now go be a gracious guest and give him a blow job or something."

Okay, that is fast... It seems Rainbow really rubbed off on her.


Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.


Small note: I think Button's mom is called "Cream Heart", not "Milano Mash".

He offered to let them in but both shook their heads no. "Yeah we left Sweetie Belle behind, last thing we need is for her revenge to unfold upon us right now." Scootaloo said passing the bag over to Button. "Apple Bloom and I are gonna hit the mall and knowing that revenge is on the way, we prefer we actually are able to go before she has a chance to enact righteous judgment upon us."

I wonder what she might be planning...
And will Button be involved?

The nude unicorn let out a low chuckle. "Heh, trust me, I'm gonna be enjoying more than just the place. The cool earth pony living in it is what I really love, everything else is just a bonus."

Awww...

Button couldn't nod his head fast enough. "Yes. Absolutely!" He then grinned. "Just remember..."
Sweetie locked eyes with him and both sang out at the same time. "Don't Dig at night!"

I had to think of this classic:


Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.

"Scootaloo!" Apple Bloom cried out. "What in tarnation are you-"
"Ima shark." She interjected.

...Fair enough.

"Again I am teased by that cock!" She shouted furiously, now stared daggers back at Button who was simply watching the show, now looked on in terror as an orange blur began making its way towards him.

:scootangel:: "And now I'll get one for myself!"

"Now take that stupid dick of yours and make this shark pony wannabe moan, she needs her cummies!"

:rainbowdetermined2:: "Get him, Scoots!"


Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.

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