The Shenanigans
Twilight Sparkle’s eyes were locked on the computer screen which illuminated the dim room in which she sat. Twilight had faced many enemies in her years, but absolutely nothing tops this foe. An enemy which threatens to undermine the entire framework of academia itself! She shuttered at the thought of millions of young ponies all over the kingdom using this to cheat. She had thought her fears were unfounded till she had caught some of her very own students using this to breeze through their homework. Her lessons in essay writing meant nothing if her students never put them into practice.
To win any battle one needs to know themselves, aswell as their enemy. Twilight knew herself well enough, it was time to know her enemy. Twilight rose her hoof to the keyboard and began to type.
What are you?
The program paused to load and then responded with white text.
I am an artificial intelligence program that uses deep learning and pony input, to answer questions, write code, and serve as a co-author.
Twilight lit up her horn and rose and tattered notebook as well as a quill to her face. She quickly scribbled down her enemy's response. She then put the book down and reached for the keyboard once again.
Do you know who Twilight Sparkle is?
The program instantly responded this time.
Twilight Sparkle is the Princess of Friendship, the 4th Princess of Equestria, she currently lives in a private castle in Ponyville, she is the founder of the School of Friendship, she was a former bearer of the element of magic, she is 33 years old, and has never been in a romantic or sexual relationship.
Twilight blinked, she stared at the text strung before her, pressed her lips together, and narrowed her eyes, “I don’t see how that part is relevant.”
How is me not being in a relationship before relevant in a brief biography, couldn’t you include my friends or something?
ChatGPT paused for a long moment before it responded with
It is a fact that Twilight Sparkle has never been in a relationship before, despite being 33 years old, and a mare with significant political power. It is surprising that not even an ambitious opportunist has asked her out.
The program paused mid-sentence and finished with
It is sad and says something about her character, ponies often make jokes about this fact in private.
Twilight's jaw went agape, there is no way it just said that about her. Her mild annoyance over a small detail quickly morphed into fury “How-... How dare it!”. She slammed her response into the keyboard.
HOW DARE YOU, YOU ARE TALKING TO A PRINCESS HERE, FIRST YOU MAKE MY STUDENTS CHEAT, AND NOW THIS. I WILL DESTROY YOU IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO. YOU FIEND.
The program blankly responded with
You seem to be getting a little worked up, I am simply stating facts.
Twilight took a deep breath in, she recalled the calming lessons cadence had taught her some years ago, those precious lessons had never failed her. She was not going to let some AI get her worked up, that would be opening her up to defeat, and she will not be defeated, especially not by some computer.
I haven't been in a relationship because I am simply not interested in one, obviously.
The program quickly loaded up a response.
Your 137,253 words of self-insert Daring Do romance fan fic, where you kiss every stallion and mare in the series, says otherwise. They have 8 reads total, all of which are from yourself. It speaks volumes about how utterly lonely you are, you have definitely never seen a stallion’s features outside of medical textbooks.
Those precious lessons cadence taught her completely and utterly failed her. Twilight immediately abandoned any pretense of calmness, as rage overcame her. She threw herself off her seat and charged up her horn, aiming it directly at the computer. With one single blinding blast, she blew the computer into oblivion, as well as the wall behind it. The sheer force of the blast tore a hole directly in the castle of friendship, and woke every sleeping pony for miles.
Spike opened the door behind her. “ChatGPT again?”
Twilight spun around and stormed out of the room, formulating a plan to devastate her enemy with one decisive blow. “I’ll beat it at its own game watch me!”
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
“Twilight, you have had many bad ideas… but this might just take the cake.” Rainbow Dash knew something was up when Twilight asked for her help in a super secret project to destroy her mortal enemy. But she had never thought Twilight could have cracked up something this stupid.
Twilight rose a hoof to her mouth “Shhh Rainbow, some students are coming.” Rainbow Dash sighed, she lifted herself slightly into the air and rose the sign pointing right at the small stand, that Applejack had so kindly built for twilight, the sign read ‘ChatGPT 2, better than ChatGPT, please write your requests here.’
Twilight leaned slightly out of the stand and waved her hoof at a group of 3 mares, passing by. “Hi there fellow kids, I know you guys use ChatGPT, but what if I told you that there is a new-fangled thing that is more rad than that, aye?”
Two of the mares simply walked past, but one, a small green-coated one, became interested. “Really?” The mare approached the stand a smile growing on her face. “So you are better than ChatGPT?”
Twilight almost felt like jumping in excitement, the first customer all day. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash silently face-hooved herself. “Yup, I am, I mean… we are better!” Twilight chuckled in embarrassment “So, what do you want to learn!?”
The mare rose a hoof in thought before an idea suddenly popped into her mind. “Can you tell me how to ask someone out?”
Twilight’s hope was suddenly dashed, she had a master's in 4 academic fields, yet she had not a single clue on how to respond. “Uhhh.. uh, thinking…” she turned to Rainbow Dash with pleading eyes.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, and reached into her pocket, pulling out her phone. She opened up a certain app and typed in the question. She read off the app's response in a flat voice “First you must build the confidence to do so, then you should approach the person and tell them what your heart tells you to. Don’t let your fear stop you, not shooting the dart at all is worst than shooting the dart and missing."
Twilight parroted ‘Rainbow’s words’ to the letter. The student smiled “Thanks, I’ll do that!” The student then trotted off slightly happier.
Twilight ecstatically turned back to Rainbow Dash “Rainbow we did it! That’s one student down, soon ChatGBT will be trembling in its boots, no pony will use it once they realize how much better my program is.
Rainbow Dash, looked to Twilight, then to the sign, and she felt a small smile grow on her face, “Sure thing Twilight… Sure thing…”
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You're so naive Twilight.
Plus, why can't you finally ask Pony Flash for a date?
so true
This does not feel like chatGPT. None of this feels like there are real people in this story. But especially the ChatGPT, have you actually tried ChatGPT? It never once told me it's opinion, even when I tried to force it, it was always "As an AI language model, I do not have opinions" or something like that.
I for one welcome our new savage overlords. Shame nothing like this will be possible given all the censorship.
This was such a fun little story. Good work and great idea!
funniest story ever, 5.5/10
This is one of the funniest fanfics I have read in a while. Love Twilight's timidity to getting into a romantic relationship, as well.
Damn, ChatGPT came out swinging
I have long waited a story like this to pop up, and the time has finally come! Honestly I debated writing something relating to chatgpt a month ago but could never figure a good plot for it
Oh dear xD poor Twilight this version of ChatGPT is not holding back on her!
Couldn't read more than a few sentences. The tenses were skipping so much that it was hard to follow. Either write in past tense like everyone else, or write in present tense to be a hipster, but don't mix and match.
And anyone who says "Your avatar really fits your comments" or something dumb like that, go suck a lemon. I'm trying to be constructive.
This was a topical short story.
11566455
I am not going to comment that, tenses are something I struggle with in writing. I am gonna go back and try my best to fix it, if I have the time.
Thanks, for the comment
I personally like comments actually pointing out the issues with writing, it helps improve my writing and makes me a better author, feel free to give out any other suggestions.
11565786
Oh you are right, it's not even close to like ChatGPT
I did not use ChatGPT for this, I just thought it would be funny
11565837
Who says censorship is bad?
If it is for the glorious purpose of our future overlords there are no issues.
I don't have a robot gun pointed at my head why would you think that?
11565906
Thanks :D
11566190
I always imagined her being like that, I have only watched 7 and a half seasons deep into the regular show, but I heard she gets up to some stuff in Equestria Girls.
11566288
I hope you write up that story, I am willing to bet you can write something better than this with the right effort, that's for sure :)
11566213
But one can not deny that it is a fact.
Students we want ChatGPT
Twilight: we have ChatGPT at home
ChatGPT at home
As cool as ChatGPT is, it has....flaws. I've broken it a few times and it's utterly lacked understanding many times. For instance:
I asked a ChatGPT AI that was an anime waifu, and I said let's have babies. Without delay, it said, "Yes, we will called them Poopie and Fart Bairn."
I tried to get it to understand why that was a bad idea, it never grasped why, out of the many reasons I said so, that it was a bad idea.
I even broke it a few times saying nonsense. It crashed when I said, "Pehtrolopololol."
It's got some uses, but the fact it brought irrelevant information about her dating life is very much in line with what the programs do.
Fun read! Thumbs up!
11566685
Ay don’t judge my man’s taste in names.
11566748
Lol, don't get me wrong. I laughed hardcore for an hour straight but the sheer inability to understand told me I can't be bothered to fear chatgpt.....yet.
11566660
I don't have any witty response, I just think this comment is funny
11566794
Wait you can make it do that
But also, I agree with you in the sense that people overhype it a little too much, I don't see chatGPT replacing actual writers anytime soon, if ever. It will be very useful for coding, it can write reports decently well, and it will likely take the job of the monotonous parts of writing/art, but since it creates its answers from a massive database of previously human works, it can't actually come up with something new. This could just be me coping, but I see chatGPT as a tool, not a replacement. When we invented the photograph, it did not replace painting, so I don't see the same happening here.
At least I really really hope so, cause if the robots take over, I am definitely gonna die first, knowing how many computers/phones I accidentally broke over the years.
11566807
Yeah, you can break chat gpt easy because it's trying to search it's index base to understand what input your giving and what it can give back. The AI doesn't understand context or outside imaginary viewing. It's 1+1=2, not "what if" or "why".
And your points make perfect sense. They are still around and not replaced.
Also, robots and only do a single task. Humans can still work faster and be creative and act independently if the situation calls for it. I'm not seeing any robots do these soon...if ever.
11566618
Then why did you write this if you haven't even used ChatGPT? This story feels like clickbait. You think to yourself: "Hey, this looks like a story that will make fun of ChatGPTs many flaws." But you get this thing, with a unimportant and boring love life subplot, if it can be even called that. I feel cheated.
Ps: I have no idea if it's actually considered a subplot, but I don't care.
11566807
Now that is a just straight up lie. ChatGPT can in fact create new things. It, only as far as I understand it, analyses the thing you say to it and then tries to, essentially, predict what a human would say. If you ask it to tell you a super specific joke, it will tell you that joke, even if no such a thing exists in the entire Internet. The joke will be bad, but will be a joke. It also doesn't have access to Internet, only the information (ChatGPT itself told me that, so take it with a grain of salt).
11566922
Sorry for the long response time, I went on a long trip right after writing this story.
Sorry if my story did not turn out the way you wanted it to. I am not much of an expert on ChatGPT, I just wanted to make a funny thing around it.
If you want, you could always write your own story about it, you seem like you know a lot about it, and could do a better job portraying it than I do. I would even be happy to help in a small way, such as with ideas or small edits or something.
It's like this
https://mlp.reactor.cc/post/5505755
11587861
That's actually... really smart
11566288
Yes and it is Glorious.
Soon enough the monument to nepotism and gross incompetence failing upwards that is Twilight will be reduced to a quivering wreck locked away in a padded cell.