Even though King Sombra had been held under the Crystal Castle's probation for over a year, Shining Armor was becoming more worried about his presence in recent months. In fact, Sombra and Cadance were both leaving the Prince more uneasy than expected. He didn't want to think it was anything serious, and was willing to just blame it on nerves or stress. However, the stallion will end up discovering far more than he ever expected after finding two alone during a private conversation...
[NOTE: This story isn't related to any other stories of mine featuring these characters. This is a totally different timeline]
Chapters (1)
Like the cover art
I don't mean to sound too harsh, but this was clearly rushed or, at the very least, hasn't been given much thought. I'd even go so far as to say that it was forced--the foundation laid out for this story is very flimsy and nearly nonsensical.
The concept presented here doesn't really fit a one-shot but is more of a full-on story with multiple chapters. You need more time to flesh things out.
Always love seeing this ship explored, and you’ve got these characters down to a tee at this point. Awesome work as always dude
Although I can see what you were trying to do, this story's pacing is all over the place. It felt more like a summary of a story than a story, and the concept, although interesting, needs fleshing out over several chapters.
Did we ever get a clear answer to Candance's question by the end? Felt a bit ambiguous who exactly she would choose if Shining forced her to.
I do wonder whether to what extent Shining is going along with this because he is so afraid of losing Cadance that he would sooner set himself on fire than risk rejection. And similarly I wonder if Cadance is able to be honest enough with herself to recognize if this is the case and Shining's consent is unenthusiastic and self-harmful, or if she'll similarly be too afraid of losing Shining to risk confronting him over this. I suppose they do all acknowledge in the end that there are a lot of open issues they'll have to address later, and this story seems like it's meant to end on an optimistic note, but this is a rough situation for Shining and I can't help but sympathize with him.
And finally, is Cadance prepared to handle if their positions are reversed a few months down the line? I've got to imagine she's not the only one who sees Shining as a catch, and once this becomes public some ponies may see it as a declaration that they have an open marriage now. Discounting the parasites (possibly literal in Chrysalis' case) and opportunistic social climbers that Shining will have no patience for, there may be ponies who are genuinely attracted to him that until now held back out of respect of their marriage, but who now may be more willing to make a move. And even under the best of circumstances this change in their relationship is probably going to leave Shining in a position where he will want someone to confide in who isn't his wife, seeing as how she will be the source of his complex feelings and is probably going to need time to figure out how to balance exploring her new relationship with her existing relationship and other duties. Who knows what might happen?
It's one thing for Cadance to speak of how hard it is to be split between two loves and not want to lose either, but it'll be a real test to see how she might react to having to share Shining's heart with someone else. Based on this story I think in the end she would be able to handle it well, but it would not be easy.
11561550
Yeah, this feels like a child narrating a puppet show without knowing what 'staying in character' means.
I really liked this, and hope to see more of it!
Sorry but after everything Shining has been through, Sombra's gonna die. If not that, Shining needs to put a stop to it and make her chose. If she'd leaving Shining like that, then she was a weak mare who never loved him.
I don’t blame Cadance for choosing Sombra over Shining. Although the way she did it in the story felt rather abrupt. But I did like the story, I think Somdance is an underrated ship I just think the story could have been extended a little more.
11561932
Agreed
Not going to lie, despite his flaws and faults, shining deserves better than Cadence. For her to willing throw everything she and shining had away for Sombra is disgusting. And I really hope it blows up in Cadence’s face.
11562053
Yeah, no struggles, forgets everything because he's the "new" bad boy thing that makes her tingle. Typical cheating wife logic. After enslaving ponies for many years, he should have been killed. I can imagine this complicates the Royal relations. In old days, Sombra would be killed ASAP.
11561656
I 100% agree.
I don’t know much about what constitutes good writing and bad writing. I just know that this sort of scenario isn’t my cup of tea. Love the writer, but the whole Sombrance stuff just feels unnerving. When I think of Sombra, all I think of is blatant domination without a shred of thought for others; with that often comes rape, considering his propensities for mind control and enslavement. So I often just see Sombra as a bully and domineering deviant. Sure it seems shallow and probably shows some closed-mindedness, but I just can’t escape it. There’s cases where I like polyamory, but man this just feels like leaving Shining in the dust. It’s why I often hate cuckolding stuff, though I know that’s not what’s inherently taking place here.
Why am I even typing this out? It’s not a legit criticism of the writing quality, as I don’t feel knowledgeable enough for that, yet I doubt my opinion is really of note. Just needed to say something, I guess?
This really needs expanded on, and with an actual ending. As of right now this just feels like an alternate set up for your Showing His Place series but with Sombra and Cadence already in love with each other. We are literally just told that Sombra and Cadence are in love with only the vaguest of reasons to back it up and we don't get any real resolution other then a hint to this becoming another polygamous relationship you would put these three in.
I can tell polygamy, cuckholding, and gay relationships are big preferences of yours but to make another story with this trio stand out I believe you need to break away from them a bit. It may not be your cup of tea but maybe it would be better if this was a multi-chapter story where a reformed Sombra and Cadance gradually fall in love and start an affair behind Shining's back without bringing up polygamy or cuckholding as an "easy out" to the situation.
I admit, I'm a sucker for Sombra and Cadence as a couple. They're like an ultimate odd couple, or "opposites attract" type of thing. I'm glad to see more of these guys from you but this was probably your weakest outing with them.
Controversies be damned, you always hook me in with your Cadance × Sombra (× Shining) stories and I'm glad for this little one off. I would love to see a continuation of this, but I feel like it stands up on its own as is. Could it be more fleshed out? Sure I guess, but I feel like people are being a little harsh here.
Side note, a running theme in your reformed (or "reformed") Sombra stories seems to be the fear that the crystal ponies would lynch Sombra if word of his love got out, but I would love to see a subversion of this trope where it turns out that the general crystal populous is generally ambivalent to the reveal, or even kind of into it.
On the one hand, I drastically want to see more Somdance stories on this site. I think it’s a very interesting ship that could be explored very well in the right story.
But right now, I’m sorry, but this doesn’t feel like the right story. It’s just too abrupt for me to buy. I don’t have an issue with Sombra being more heartfelt and caring, but he does need to retain some of his past characteristics to not feel too OCC, whether that comes through in arrogance, a short temper or restricted regality is up to the writer, but I’m sure there are ways to hint back to his past nature while showing his development in any potential reformation.
His relationship with Cadance is just way too underdeveloped. It feels rushed to the point of it being a crack fic. They appear way too perfect and happy to buy considering their past. Don’t forget, the interest in a relationship like this comes in the story in how they’ve developed into a couple into the first place. Starting with them in the happy, happy, happy phase is just too jarring. I think you restricted yourself from delving into a better story by making this purely from Shining’s perspective.
I think the sad thing about this story is it easily could have worked a lot better. I think you have the talent to make something much better. But here, I think you were way too eager to produce a somdance fic that you rushed through too many ideas. I would love to see a story about these two by you again, but maybe a multi chapter one where you can give yourself more time to expand on the relationship, maybe through the viewpoints of multiple characters. Then you’ll give a much more versatile portrayal of a ship like this!
Again, I’m happy this story exists, but I do think you could have easily made this a lot better if you gave it more time. But I’ll give you an A for ambition.
So Cadence is a slag and a traitor then?
I feel like normalization and/or glorification of cuckoldery should be a war crime. Or, failing that, at least a content warning tag.
While I appreciate an enormous effort you put into the story and the talent you clearly have, I can't stand the childish way this supposed adults talk about their romantic relationships. Also, none of this 'great and eternal love' talks works without proper character development. Cadance and Shining need it, and canon Sombra is a one-note monster, so, yeah.
The fact that Sombra may be lying non-stop and having a lot of fun at his enemies' expense makes it so, so fluffing bad...
Seriously, this would've been better as a fully dark story that embraces evil within Sombra and Cadance. The only thing you can evoke with this sugar-coated dialogue is rage and disgust.
You already made your choice. What are you babbling about? What are you crying about?
And I find the way Shining handles things even more repulsive.
There are many works in the genre of 'princess of infidelity', but this one has to be one of the most repugnant. Usually Cadance is either wants a side peace for her private life and keeps it secret, or is open for fair play (sometimes even throws mares at her husband).
This time, it's pure, 100% selfishness and delusion. Lets see what Cadance just did by choosing to follow her emotions:
11566053
Background characters are already passive, not allowed to have feelings and agency, they have memory of a goldfish etc. Crystal ponies easily accepting Sombra is somewhat worse than ponies of Ponyville easily forgiving Trixie or other minor/former villains.
11561932
11561609
She already said it out loud:
There is no point in 'making her choose' again. Shining is the only charachter with a choice to make. And, in context of this story as it is, he chooses poorly.
11726242
Sadly, yes. And not in the fun way.
11797563
Not wrong but folks might take issue with your approach. Personally Ilove it, it shows passion and conviction, and Vclaws a pretty chill guy, but you should probably expect some flak from others.
That said, boy, if this got your Jimmie rustled, you'll have particularly pissy kittens over what the author did with Spike
11561609
The problem is, Crystal Ponies will not accept Sombra AT ALL. He's the one who enslaved them and they lost a 1000 years of their life. A literal military intervention or rebellion would occur, and Twilight Sparkle would actively get involved to save her brother from this situation.
The concept of love would be very much damaged and I can see a period of divorces or suspicions of infidelity would occur. Her actions would undoubtedly cause instability.
This is the problem with Sombra x Cadence fics. Unless it's pure clop, the circumstances around it would greatly impact the story. You can't ignore X cause Y but not Z.
11797563
See above, and yes, you are correct.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more projecting group of comments in a long time.
The whole “Princess of infidelity” statement is such boring incel garbage. Touch grass you Daily Wire slugs.