Vini, Vidi, Volume Enim Mansi. (Translation: I came, I saw, I stayed for the stories.)
Shining Armor doesn't know much about his origin. Where he came from, who his birth parents were, how he ended up being found on the edge of the frozen north; heck, he didn't even know the name of his species until he was in the Guard Cadets. Personally, he didn't care much to find out more: He loved his parents, his sister Twilight, and especially Cadence.
Now, ripped away from his family and the support of his nation, he's gonna have to learn... Quickly.
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Think you meant "gouges" here
Think ya meant "Frozen North" here
other than that the spelling seems to be fine, grammar is alright, and pacing is ok.
But you do seem to make things a bit wordy, as well as not break up your paragraphs very much. Those large bulky blocks of text make it a bit harder to read than is necessary so I suggest that you try to break em up a bit more.
Well this seems like a great start, excited to see more of it.
A new and unique story concept.
Interesting story concept, excited to read more.
Well at least she knows, it would be a whole can of worms if she didn’t.
a nice short little chapter, hope to see more.
Awww this is really cute!
umbrum v. umbrum
This is very good. I'm giving you six stars for doing a good job. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I wonder what will Shining will see when he wakes up? I better wait and see. This new chapter is great, I enjoyed it! Hope to see more of your chapters and remember: Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined!
I wonder how will it go. I better wait and see. This new chapter is amazing, I like it!
11487293
with that pause after "Sombrashaven", I'm thinking they dislike him just as much as shining does.
11487440
Good point
Lots of finger pointing, but hopefully we will get the full story.
Wow!
Celestia and the elder Crystal Ponies better have some explaining .
So now, they're gonna reveal the truth finally.
Oh man the suspense is killing me for every cliff hanger.
Oh no the crystal heart is going to hurt shining too isn't it
Question why didn't other guard Ponies of company them
Geez! How is Shining gonna explain this to Twilight, Spike, Cadence, his adopted parents, Twilight's friends, and the other Princesses?
How long will the slice of life segments be?
11515316
For a while. This is mostly a slice-of-life story. There will be some other stuff later on down the line.
the umbum are based off of Central Asian and Mongol people?
if so , then I'm waiting for in praise of King Sombra
cool story, looking forward to more
11515545
They are mostly based on cultures in Central Asia, yeah. Along with some elements from Siberians, Irish, and Cossacks as well.
I smell something fishy with the magic of Crystal Empire and Crystal Heart.
Shining grown up in the Equestria, his wife is the living avatar of Love, he was in the epicenter of love bomb that scattered a swarm of changelings and he was no worse for the wear.
But he was blinded on the borderlands of Crystal Empire by the glimse of its center, its shield of "love" burned him badly, nearly kiling him.
Just what ancestors of crystal ponies do to drive away umbrums from their ancestral lands?
11519186
Honestly sounds to me like a barrier that discriminates against X species and not Y species and is not driven by love... but hate.
Shining’s gonna gamble them all out of every single bit
So did the changeling invasion of the wedding still happen? Or did queeny see through shinings illusion and nope right out of there?
Uhoh Shroud's arguing with themselves again...
Now for the explanation
Considering what he went through, it's really not much of a shocker that he turned out the way he did.
the answers are here!
Reunion time soon
The fated confrontation
11528633
I can imagine it now:
Queen Chrysalis is on her way to hypnotize Shining Armor, gets close enough to see under the illusion.
Sees: crooked horn, mouthful of sharp teeth, taller and buffer than the illusion suggests.
All the while, this unknown individual is maintaining a perfect illusion AND shielding an entire city.
A reasonable conclusion is that this unknown person is doing exactly what she’s doing. Pretend to be the spouse and gain massive influence over the pony population.
At that point, I don’t know if Chrysalis would nope out of the situation or propose right there and then.
The Crystal Heart is gonna hurt Shining just like it did Sombra isn't it?
11519186
Was it not pure love? It was mentioned the Crystal Heart was made when the Empress' consort was killed. So maybe it was built to specifically target the Umbrum but disguised as Love. The Empress has a clear vendetta against the Umbrum for killing her consort maybe the feeling of hate for the Umbrum is what can kill an Umbrum mixed with the love for her husband is what made it shine brightly and made it look pristine instead of dark? Essentially a mix of love and hate spell?
Well, that's going to be awkward.