Loose Ends, References and Inspirations
Not necessarily in that order. In fact, backwards. Here’s some of the stuff that gave me the ideas for this little tale of woe. We’ll start with pony-related stories.
Siren Song, by GaPJaxie – This guy has inspired more than one story of mine. But this one is the story of a girl from Equestria dropped into a dystopian nightmare. It’s a riveting, wrenching, ponified version of Bioshock. It occurs before Rapture entirely falls apart, and explores what becomes of an isolated society torn apart by greed and weird magic far better than the game did. It also has the single best portrayal of a long-term, stress-induced breakdown that I’ve ever read. Siren Song was probably the single biggest motivator for Nine Days Down: I saw what someone could do with a story like that and wanted to see if I could do it myself. Tragically, I don’t think the full saga of Siren will ever be finished, but you should definitely give it a look, regardless. Though I feel obligated to warn you, it is not an easy read.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/87120/siren-song
Eternal, by Device Heretic - I think everyone that’s ever read this one has cried over it at least a little, even the guy who tricked me into reading it. That’s about the best compliment I can give a drama. I borrowed tons of ideas from this one, consciously or not.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/5921/eternal
Uprooted, by Naomi Novik - It ain’t pony, but it is hands down my favorite fantasy novel. The Wood, the novel’s immortal, ingenious, and utterly monstrous nemesis, was where I got a lot of inspiration for Tartarus. The heroine is a combination of panicky teenager and crazy hero that I found thoroughly compelling. Her foil, the Dragon, is exactly what you get when you take a 20-something dude and age him by a couple hundred years. Also, the power of friendship features prominently. I love everything about this book, but the Wood really stands out as a great, scary-as-hell villain. Also, it’s a one-shot, so you won’t have to slog through a whole damn trilogy or whatever.
Worm, by Wildbow – If you ever wished superhero stories had more soul-breaking trauma in them, look no further than Worm. It was too much for me, and I never finished it. But credit where it’s due, Worm is compelling as all Hell and one of the most creative looks at the superhero/villain concept out there. Just be warned that the fandom motto for Worm is “It gets worse.” It’s a web serial, by the way, quite long, and has nothing at all to do with ponies. I mention it here because it was sort of a cautionary tale for what I was trying to do with Nine Days. My goal was to dance on the line of Too Much without crossing over it. I guess you guys will have to let me know if I pulled that off.
https://parahumans.wordpress.com/
Exalted – I got a lot of the ideas about gods having multiple souls from Exalted, which they, in turn, got from old, weird mythology (but more on that later). I also made use of its over-the-top aesthetic for the bigger fight scenes. I’m interested to know what people thought of all the esoteric god-stuff and the fights between them, so lemme know in the comments, if ya want.
Boogieman, by Johnny Hollow – This a song, actually, and it’s about a girl who was abused and became something worse than her abuser in response. It’s from her perspective, and she seems to be having a wonderful time of it. Luna was strongly based on this idea (the part about being scarier than the scary things, specifically), but Twilight’s arc was too. What if, instead of becoming a monster, she rejected the whole process and became a hero, instead? Well, more of a hero, I suppose.
Speaking of Luna, I mostly based her off how she's portrayed in the comics. Which is to say, less mopey, more fun, with an added dash of scary.
Rainbow, by Sia – Did anybody else actually listened to the lyrics of this song? They are not the sort of thing I’d expect to show up in my magical talking pony movie. They’re about pain driving you to be a better person, more than you ever could have been without it. It’s actually pretty awesome, and I’m totally adopting it as a theme for Nine Days.
Greek and Celtic mythology – You’ve probably already guessed this one. I kind of wish I’d gotten around to slipping some other country’s myths in there, but this story was long enough already.
And, as always, my occasional editor/person I bounce ideas off of, Spice of Life. He was too busy for most of the later chapters, but he’s always around to help turn stupid ideas into passable ones.
References! Here’s the stuff that showed up in the story and what it was like before I got ahold of it.
Ben – Ben began life as a scorpion, actually. He shows up in an episode of Sealab 2021. I liked him, so he became my familiar in a Dungeons and Dragons game I briefly played. The concept of a screaming spider came from Spoils, a collectible card game that I was terrible at but loved, and since friendly spiders were canon to MLP, I guess I decided to sneak him into the story. I regret nothing. He was meant to be a continuous stabilizing influence, the one thing in Tartarus that was (almost) always there for Twilight. Making him a dream-being and creature of Luna just seemed appropriate, given their mutual penchant for mischief.
Cretes – The Great White Bull is something of an amalgamation of several white bulls that show up in Greek myth. One of them was Zeus in disguise, another a gift from Posiedon, one just a bit of fancy livestock. Some were monsters, some actually totally cool, but all of them were rather, eh, amorous. The most terrible/hilarious story involved Aphrodite charming the Queen of Minos into falling in love with said bull. Shenanigans ensued, and thus was born the first minotaur. GREEK MYTHOLOGY!
Anyway, Cretes was put in as a big, intimidating, but still reasonable example of the kinds of things imprisoned in Tartarus. I wanted him to show up later as an antagonist, but was convinced by Spice of Life to do something more interesting. His brief third appearance was a questionable decision, but it was meant to show that Twilight was having an impact on Celestia, Luna, and Tartarus itself, even if she didn't know it.
The bull himself is a brute and a bully, but in the right circumstances, a hero, too. It turns out being stuck in a hell-scape and having to protect his people are the right circumstances for him. I wanted to put in more about the cows that follow him, but never found a way to do it. In answer to the perfectly reasonable question of what happened with the herd after Twilight's escape, they're fine. They had a big, ugly rumble, but they're a tough bunch. Whether Terra was willing to adopt them is anyone's guess, but finding and getting the herd home is one of Twi's top priorities upon her return to Tartarus.
The gorehounds and the wyrds – I took one look at the diamond dogs and was all like, 'Those things are werewolves. Look at how huge those things are! They could tear people up!' And thus, with the addition of shaggy hair and a viking-esque religion, were born the gorehounds. Wyrds were just a little something to make things more interesting, an old trick Discord pulled on the world that gave random creatures random bits of violent magic.
The ash viper, the clot – Just some ever more unpleasant creatures for Twi to contend with, though the singing thing on top of the clot came from an old game called Odium, I think. It was just some singing mutant that never attacked you, but led you toward a fight. Don’t know what brought it mind, but it was weird and I thought it made a good lure, so there we are.
Update: I found it! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorky_17
The manticore - That word means man-eater, by the by. They've been described as tigers with spiny tails, giant lions with scorpion tails and men's faces, the former with wings, and even more exotic creatures. I went with the canon pony one. The idea that they're scared of rhyme came from an actual pony publication; The Journal of the Two Sisters. It was the diary Twi found in the old castle.
Virago – Flagrantly stolen from Fluffle Puff lore. It’s Markseline. That’s pretty much it. I’ve always liked the idea of a Goddess of Crazy, and she seemed appropriate. I wanted more out of her, actually, but writing convincing crazy is pretty hard. Virago means mad-woman, by the way, and also, warrior-woman. Funny how the two are synonyms.
Anyway, I took further inspiration from the series she was inspired by: Deadspace. I really liked how the first game handled the Marker. The idea that it was inimical to the human mind but not actually hostile to us was super interesting. They kinda ruined that in the sequels. So it goes.
Somebody in the original comments totally called me out on the plant that was being used to contain Virago. Its name was Yothga. It comes from Robert E. Howard’s Conan classic, The Scarlet Citadel. Yothga had roots that reached all the way into Hell, and the being it contained was a great wizard who eventually destroyed the guy who had imprisoned both Conan and himself.
The Wights – What if ponies lived underground and were predatory? What if one of them wasn’t happy about it? What if MLP came out with a canon story like that, but with a changeling?
…
Fuck!
Anyway, the scene with the wights was there as a counterpoint to the scene with the gorehounds. Twi had no one to help her, so here was where we were meant to see what she was really made of. And also a centaur, because fuck it, why not?
The wights also served as a sort of twisted counterpoint to ponies in general. They work together and have something of a society in which responsibility and family bonds are important (which is better than most things in Tartarus can do), but those things are expressed in very different ways thanks to the environment they live in.
On the note of Bait, I worry that I picked on the little guy too much toward the end. One of the hazards of having several-month breaks between chapters is that you forget how much you've already done a thing. *shrug* Alas, he was the best hook I had to make Twilight do stupid, interesting things.
The Shrimp - These were based on mantis shrimp, which are a real thing that lives in the ocean, can grow over a foot long, and can punch through pretty much anything. Enjoy your next trip to the beach.
Nuckalavee – Nuckalavee is the best and greatest and most god-damn terrifying fey in all of Celtic myth and I love him. Or maybe them. It’s not clear if there are more than one of him. Regardless, I took his description and personality straight from the lore, and then gave him a sword. The disease he breathes is called mortasheen, and his hatred of horses is totally canon. He even has some great old-school mythological weaknesses. Specifically, being enraged by the smell of burning seaweed (in case you ever want to enrage this monstrosity) and unable to cross moving, fresh water. I had no particular plans for him after his first appearance, but having him head the Wyld Hunt (which is pretty much as described in the story) made for a convenient chase scene at the end.
The Hekatonkhire – Ah, the hekatonkhire. These weirdos are one of my favorites, and may actually have been the catalyst for this whole story. I kept thinking about how something with fifty heads and a hundred arms could possibly work, and eventually I came up with Briareos. Once I had one, I knew I had to figure out the others, and I wanted them all to be unique. The idea of a ‘tree’ whose ‘fruit’ were spooky masks was pretty decent, I thought, but I never really did come up with a good third idea, so I defaulted to a shape-shifting centipede monster that was Cottos.
Anyway, the hekatonkhire were Gaia’s first children by Uranus (Earth and Sky, respectively), and the father was so disgusted by them that he shoved them deep under the earth. Sidenote: Gaia was the earth. According to most translations, this meant that the father of her children pushed them back into her womb. Gaia was upset by this, as any mother would be, and that was why she betrayed the rest of the Titans in favor of her other son, Cronus. Then he went and did the same thing (and worse, actually). As such, she ‘betrayed’ him too in favor of Zeus and the Gods, who promised to allow her sons to hang out in the much nicer Earth. The hekatonkhire, once freed, beat back all the Titans damn near by themselves and were the reason the Gods came to rule. The Gods then made them the jailors of those Titans that survived...And put them in Tartarus. GREEK MYTHOLOGY!
Speaking of…
Terra – According to mythology, Terra and Gaia are synonymous. She is the Earth, a Titan, one of the original creators of everything. She birthed and houses all life, being both a place and person, and turned on the Titans when they were all dicks to her children. She led her children in their fight, but she kind of disappears from the legends after that.
The Shattered – It occurred to me that the mirror pond from the Too Many Pinkies episode could be used for nefarious purposes. But an army of clones forged from evil magic might not be much good for anything.
About that scene in the cave – I dunno, man. SHipping is hard to resist, as I have now learned. This whole story was an experiment, and I wanted to try my hand at it, so here we are. Hopefully it didn’t ruin it for everyone. In my defense, sometimes people just need a win, right? Surrounded by death and despair, maybe a girl just needs a way to feel alive. And clandestine make-outs are a pretty good way to do that. That was my justification, anyway. If I had it to do again, I'd leave it out. Maybe I'll write an alternate version...
So. Many. Chimera – Greek mythology has two tricks when it comes to making monsters: 1. Put two or more animals together. 2. Add more heads. Being born from spilled blood also showed up a time or two, I suppose.
The Bewilderbeasts and swamp trolls and troglodytes – Just some critters for Luna to victimize, to show how much better prepared she is for this place than Twilight or Celestia. I got pretty attached to the bewliders, actually. The idea of a sort of alternate changeling that also blended in, but different, seemed pretty cool. Too bad Luna murdered them all.
Phix – The name wasn't just me being lazy. It is the mythologically canon name of at least one Sphinx. Anyway, Sphinxes are pony-canon now too and they're adorable and I love them. Regardless, Phix was a Greek sphinx, what with the tits. The Egyptian ones were totally chill and didn’t eat people, but their only human feature was the head. I kind of fused them, because I like the Egyptian look, but also tits. *Shrug*
The guards – Some normal people, finally! That was pretty much their role. To be normals. But not the sort of normal Twi is used too.
The Swords – Twilight’s very first new soul! Deities often have a signature weapon, and I thought it would be interesting to have Twilight form hers in front of the reader, especially since Insight has a little arc of her own. The idea of someone being born a weapon and then told to be something more was pretty interesting to me, and hopefully to y'all too.
Dullahan and his Procession – Another Celtic mainstay. The headless horseman (though it was never actually the dullahan, but a dullahan. There were lots of them) and banshees. According to myth, neither being was a monster in itself, really. They were just harbingers, a warning of things to come. I always liked that. I’m not sure where I got the idea to have Dullahan approach people and offer them a painless death as a mercy, or that those who had accepted this 'gift' might tell their story to any who listened for eternity, but there were are. Plus, I thought it would be fun to have Luna have gone through a goth phase with them.
Tartarus – Ahh, yes. The big villain. Tartarus is a Hell, first and foremost. A prison of darkness and despair where the gods threw their undesirables. But it was a deity in itself, as well. Perhaps the first one. A living thing. Many a hero and villain were cast into Its depths, never to be seen again. A few escaped, but that was rare.
Typhon - Typhon has always been one of my favorite mythological figures. Younger brother to the Hekatonkhires, he was the last child of Gaia, and the greatest. He was the one being to ever defeat Zeus in combat, and, depending on the story you read, he was only beaten through base trickery. He joined the wars of the Gods for his mother's sake, and never really did anything evil. Alas, he is always portrayed as a villain, his children murdered by mighty 'heroes' even as he languishes in a prison he doesn't deserve.
His description varied. He was either an enormous, well-muscled man with snakes bursting from his back and arms, or a dragon, much as he was described in this story. He usually had only one head, except for the snakes, but kept the wings and the tentacular lower body. He was married to Echidna, who had the awesome title 'Mother of Monsters,' and looked much like him. Together, they spawned nearly every Greco-Roman creature you might ever have heard of. Alas, Echidna's story is vague, as is the tale of how all their kids escaped the bonds their parents suffered. Thsi story didn't really have a place for her, but maybe someday...
Sidenote: What the hell happened to Artifice?
A: She's in friendship jail, awaiting trial. Equestria is too nice to have actual prisons, so basically she's just in holding until Starlight Glimmer gets around to tricking her into being a better person. I had a few vague ideas of what to do with Artifice after the main story, but it never panned out.
Anywho, if you made it this far, thanks for reading!
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I heartily re-endorse this story. It is one of my all-time faves on this site.
Holy crapola, it's back. There's only one thing for me to do: point everyone to my old review explaining why they should read this story.
It's back! Amazing!
Back and on top of my re-read list and the extra will make it even beter.
Welp! Time to re-read this one. It's damn good!
Huzzah! Very excited to see this return!
Welcome back!
IT LIVES AGAIN
It's so rare that I get to upvote a first-time story from a brand-new author.
(Shaddap. Let me enjoy the dream.)
Interesting summary, and endorsed by PaulAsaran and Estee?
Ok, now I really need to read this
first time reading this! great adventure story. i can tell a lot of love was put into this
Oh wow this story. I didn’t know it was deleted. I thought I didn’t bookmark it or my memory sucked and I couldn’t recall the title but I remembered the cover. A picture really is worth a thousand words.
That said, I honestly don’t remember much of the story, it’s been so many years. I know Twilight goes to hell and has to friendship her way out but everything else including the details is just a blur. Maybe a second time around will leave a stronger impression.
Ayy, welcome back! Does this mean we'll be getting that fabled sequel?
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I, uh...really? Dang. That is legitimately inspiring to hear. But also...
Why am I unable to see these!? I re-read the whole Goddess-Damned story before re-posting and *grumble grumble grumble.*
Anyway, glad you liked it! And thanks for your help! All typos totally fixed forever.
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Dag nabit. Thanks for letting me know. Fixed! Hopefully! I was out and about tonight...
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Luna ended up being my favorite character to write, so it's super-awesome that people liked her, monster though she may be.
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I, as someone who disdains overuse of the word literally, literally lack the capacity to express how amazing this review is. Take it away, Big Mac.
So, uh, sorry for having taken the story down. I didn't think anybody would even notice. Y'all are amazing.
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*A long time ago, in a FIMFiction far more active than today*
*Present Day*
Wait. This up and poofed at some point?! Why hadn't I noticed? It's so heckin' goooood!
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"I sense a great lack of disturbance in the herd, as though millions of ponies who had been crying out in terror suddenly realised that the terror had passed. I feel that something wonderful has happened."
-pony Obi-Wan, or somethin'. I dunno'
P.S. Thanks for bringing this back, Joe, even if you don't do anything else with it. Your story is seriously very, very good.
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Noticed a few on the previous chapter as well, but would have to re-read from scratch to find them all again. I'll be sure to let you know if I find any more once I pick up the rest of the chapters
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Heh. Yeah, I may have fallen victim to Shipper's disease for a bit. So it goes.
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Hah!
Your words spun my mind in fun directions. Thank you!
Never read the original, but I gorged this beast in one day and that's probably the most praise I can give a long story. Great work!
I haven't left a comment in gods knows how long, but I can hardly denigrate myself for breaking that silence, such as it was, for a fascinating tale as novel to me as this was. Frankly put, this story is one of the most enrapturing and impactful stories (certainly the most, as far as this site goes) I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Perhaps one day I might leave a proper review, holding more content than some banal platitudes, but as it stands, know that you have rekindled in me a love long forgotten for ancient mythos, the nature of divinity, and more I have yet to grasp the words for. Thank you, truly, for republishing this story; I'll certainly be looking forward to reading more of your work in the future.
finally... i was scouring the net for the past year and a half for this story
This is an amazing story, it was good enough for me to binge read every chapter.
The moment Cottos showed up, it reminded me of this boss from Alundra:
Oh man, I was just looking for this story last month, didn't find it, and had a bit of a panic attack.
I don't have time to pick up a new story right now because I'm the middle of writing a mess of final papers for my classes, but I will be saving this for a re-read once the semester lets out.
Well, just spent the last 8 hours reading through this. That was super awesome.
If you do decide to write more, you've got a new fan.
It's so nice to finally get to read this. What a fantastic story, I absolutely love the world building. If you ever decide to write another story set in this universe I certainly wouldn't mind.
You managed to make me cry, well done.
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I second the motion.
What happened? How is it 12:30 in the morning already? What year is it?
Man, that was a gripping story, well done. I'd write more eloquent praise but first I must sleep.
Also, as a rapid Twilestia shipper, I approve of the brief, tasteful romance that went on here. The story would be slightly lesser without it.
So like, there is a sequel in the works right? There were like two different sequel hooks in the epilogues, at least a slice of life story come on - the universe is so good, and your writing is gripping. 10/10 would recommend.
Also, I just wanna say that I love your depiction of Tartarus. The idea of sentient Hell-worlds has always fascinated me, places where people just try to survive while the world literally bends to try and mess with them. You did such a fantastic job depicting a world that's just malicious enough to be a literal antagonist, but holds back enough that I can see people actually being able to survive and reproduce there - but only because Tartarus wants them to.
Also, Luna is great. Her "make your enemy fear you" mentality is hardcore, and I love seeing that kind of character in stories. It's such a far cry from the typical hero character, and it can sometimes be a pretty hard line to walk between lovably hardcore and annoyingly edgy, and I think you walked that line perfectly.
And Twilight, watching her overcome hell itself through friendship is, in its own way, incredibly badass. I think you did an excellent job portraying a character who's strong in an unusual way, and again, it's a hard line to walk. A pacifist character, if done poorly, can absolutely ruin a story. But Twilight always found another way - ways that were intelligent and effective. Her change from a naïve hero to an honest goddess of friendship was very well executed; I think this might be my favorite depiction of her period!
I may have written all this back on your first upload, but I felt it needed restating, because this really is one of the best stories on here. The characters, worldbuilding, plot, and prose are just A+.
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Oh, how I love/dread to see your comments. Fixed everything you mentioned, and thanks again for your efforts.
As to the arms controversy, I looked up horse terminology and saw somewhere that that's what the front limbs are called. By some people. Sometimes. Though I, uh...can't seem to find that again. Hrmm. Anyway, it made sense to me at the time (I reckoned if I were a horse I wouldn't call them forelegs any more than I call my legs lower arms), but I see where you're coming from. *Shrug*
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Hard to ask for better praise than this. Thanks, y'all.
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Fixed! Appreciated!
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*Evil cackling* Naw, but you should keep reading. It'll be fine.
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😬 Sorry, boss. Rock them finals! I'm sure you already have by now!
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This comment got me all
I miss the stuff like this from early fandom. People still write great works like this, but not nearly as often. This has now joined my top three favorite completed fics, and it will likely remain there for a long time. Amazing job!
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Ok?
...then it should have been published before season 4. As simple as that.
I'm not looking for childish excuses. As simple as that.
And yes; I am aware it once was. That is their fault, not mine.
This story is excellent, a true epic.
Spend some time thinking this story over, so I might as well drop some thoughts on the overall thing.
I still think this holds up as a truly excellent piece of storytelling and worldbuilding. I love Twilight's arc -- facing the horror of Tartarus, succumbing to despair, and then refusing to be dragged down to the same level as all the horrors and forcing the world to accept a third way when all options were bad. I especially love how she manages to build bridges with inmates that Luna and Celestia thought to be lost causes -- she serves as a truly new infusion of willpower and novelty among ancient things long set in their ways. I think the only element here that truly bothered me was Twilight's magicking a bond into existence in the scene with the guard and the bird monsters, and I do appreciate how you took some time to show her having second thoughts on it after the fact. Sure, they don't think it was mind control -- but they wouldn't, would they? It's interesting to have the big dramatic climax where the main characters solves things with a few sweeping acts and then have them go back to it later and think to themselves, wait, did I really handle that right back then?
The world, too, is extremely well-made. I absolutely love the way you craft Tartarus and its inmates -- the environments, the creatures, it's all fascinating and horrifying. It really comes across that you had a great all time coming up with a parade of freaks and monsters to populate this vision of Hell, and making some of them human, so to speak, for all their monstrosity. It's a wonderful reminder of big old epic stories, for all that some elements show their age.
All in all, strong old story, and I'm very very glad that you brought this back!
Edit: Oh, and, uh, a little belatedly, the story has a page on Tv Tropes as of last week or so.
One of the best I've read on the site. Reminded me a lot of 'The Night is Passing'. Being this good, I can't believe it's the only one!
I would read the hell out of anything you write in this setting going forward
I loved this story then, and I love it now :D