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“This is an outrage!” The powerful voice shook the halls of the court. The ponies surrounding the voice cowered in fear. It was an emotion they found alien in the presence of their ruler. So too was the sight of her features twisted in rage, eyes narrowed in anger.
“Why can you not find them!?” The subject she addressed was the only pony in the crowd that displayed little fear in the face of his ruler’s outburst. His features were passive, empty, like a forgotten boulder in the forest’s depths.
“My team has searched the Everfree Forest for days and nights without end, your majesty.” His words were kind and loyal. His voice was dead and barren. “Nothing has been found as of yet regarding the missing ponies or dragon.”
The alabaster alicorn, standing on her four hooves with murder in her eyes, glared at the Captain of her Guard. Her breath was near visible with steam, mane billowing against a wind that showed the strength of a storm. Her eyes darted away.
“Leave.” She commanded. “All of you. Go.” The ponies looked to one another with skepticism, but slowly shuffled out of the packed hall. She watched them with eyes that hid none of her anger, concealed none of her fury. The many ponies left the hall, leaving behind only angered Celestia, silent Armor… and a tearful Luna. The Princess of the Day stared down at the captain of her guard. The anger was clear in her eyes, but beneath it, her sister could see the brewing of hate and disdain.
“Do you not care for your sister, Shining Armor?” The stallion looked to his ruler with a look that nearly sent the princess on the defensive. “How have you not found anything of her? No note, no message, not even a clue as to her disappearance?”
The blue stallion bit his lip, holding back a comment he knew he would regret. His eyes screwed themselves shut as his head lowered to the floor. Celestia watched with a gaze that grew cold, the fires in her eyes turning to ice, scowl turning into a line of contempt. Even that slowly receded when Shining Armor looked back to her.
His face had turned the very image of torture.
Tears flowed from his eyes in a way she knew only fillies capable of doing, his teeth gripped together hard enough to crack every tooth in his mouth. She could hear his breath increase with ever second that passed.
“Nothing.” He spoke it through his teeth. The words only met the alicorns’ ears with the silence of the hall that surrounded them. “Nothing. There was n-nothing.” His jaw slowly relaxed as little control returned to his anguished body.
“Not of Twily, not of Spike, not of Rainbow Dash, not of-of anypony at all.” The tears flowing from his eyes did not extinguish the flames growing in his gaze. “Twily’s library was burned, Dash’s home smashed to pieces, Pip’s home gone, mother catatonic, Scootaloo gone as well. Th-There is nothing. Nothing!”
He shouted into the face of his princess.
She didn’t object in the slightest. Her gaze was harder than the stone surrounding Discord, stronger than the sides of the mountain Canterlot hung from. If she had any emotion aside from her anger, she showed not a trace of it to the Captain of her guard.
“Leave.” Her tone was colder than ice. “Go to Cadance. Comfort one another, now.” Shining stood for only a moment before turning from his ruler, foregoing the salute of farewell. Both Guardians of Night and Day watched him go.
“Sister,” Luna began once Shining was out of sight. “Can-”
“Stop.” The dark alicorn froze at Celestia’s command. “Not now Luna, please not now.” Her tone had changed once more.
From fire to ice, and now mournful tears.
“Have pity on an old mare, Luna. Let me mourn for my student. Let me be alone.” Without another word, the mighty Princess Celestia, ruler of Equstria, walked from her throne.
Luna watched her sister trot away, limping with a broken soul, leaving the Princess of the Night alone in the hall. The passing of the sun welcomed the coming of the moon, the entrance for shadows. Her cerulean eyes turned themselves to a far corner of the room, darkened by blinds pulled aside for the tall glass windows. It was of the purest black, darker than even the coat of a nightmare.
But she could see it.
It was clear to her the slender form hiding in the blanketing abyss. It’s tendrils near prying at the passing light, pushing away the warmth of the day. She watched it stare forwards without a gaze, looking towards the retreating form of her sister. She felt through the paths of her mind, the colors of its ideas.
A dark blackness that stretched over a void, white paths holding strong and tall above the encasing darkness, but swirls of red reaching up and capturing the pure alabaster paths. The spirals grew until the roads of white ran red.
Tears spilled from Luna’s lonely eyes.
The creature’s gazeless face looked upon her.
She whispered a mantra into her spectral mane.
“At any cost.”
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[youtube=eMgbfFpXZu0]
Huh. So lunas just the bait and her magic is the hook. Slenderman you one clever bastard
Epic, nuff said.
Edit: On second thoughts my comment does not do this story justice, I'm incapable of writing one that does. So I'll leave it at that. Also I apologize, the last comment was written just before I went to sleep.
The best thing I did was wait the story to end and read it all, the mood ended between each chapter, and I found myself rereading all
It really a frightening tale you manage to pull off, unfortunately I cant be afraid of "the" slenderman, too powerful, too unfair, the problem is with me
......
I'm pretty sure that Pip and Scoots are playing videogames, Twi and Dash kissing, all singing happily in R'lyeh.
singing what?
I am so proud of you right now. Pulling off a good Slender Man story is hard enough, but you not only did that, you did it with magical talking ponies. Come here so I can hug you.
1969322 That's just it. The Slender Man isn't fair. Imagine a creature without limits that only gets stronger the more it's feared. Now imagine it coming after you. Ol' Faceless is helplessness incarnate.
1969431
I'll probably die, i'm not afraid of death, if I have no chance of escape, I try a roundhouse kick on the slenderman,i know taht make no difference, but I'd die with a smile and a wtf scene.
Again, my problem with terror, i would give a roundhouse kick on other supernatural beings too
Well hopefully your next story will be a sickly sweet one too make up for this tragedy and sadness.
I have no particularly strong feeling towards this ending.
Normally I hate "wtf everyone dies, suckers!" endings to stories, even if they are tagged "dark" ...but this? Meh.
That's generally how I felt about the conclusion. Meh. Neither Twi nor RD reacted to their terror in quiet the way I would expect, save for RD giving the speech about kicking its flank and Twi trying to give her hope at the end. I guess that was meant to be the point. They were so scared it caused them to go OOC, but... meh. Didn't quite sink in, ya know? Particularly since neither of them are given a reason to be that terrified of the Slenderman. He looks weird. Marble Hornets spent years building the tension, helplessness, and paranoia that make Slendy tick as a beasty. Here they... see it teleport twice and loose their minds?
I'll be honest and say I felt that "I'll Love You Forever" was a much better horror story overall, conceptually and execution wise. It was about falling apart due to grief. This is about being eaten by an animal. Both can be scary, but one is way more visceral and psychological and way more likely to happen.
The twist was... meh. Very out of nowhere although I did call that Luna was hiding something from everyone.
I did like the final scene with Twi and RD, and I did like the final scene with Luna and Slendy.
I really don't know what to say. The entire finale just sort of had a non-impact on me.
... At least no one had to deal with HABIT.
1970848
I'll take that to heart.
This is my first attempt at horror, of this kind, so it makes sense that it fell flat, especially compared to someone who's watched Marble Hornets. Thank you for being honest on that field.
1968217 another version
1978639
Wow... that's a lot more errors than I, or any of my pre-readers, saw. I'll go in and fix those when I have the chance.
As for that screaming Grammer Nazi in your head... Yeah I got nothing. I'm just impressed you've read this far and the only thing you have complained about so far is the grammer.
1978785
That was only that chapter :P also the story was good, so the grammar is my only thing...except for the fact that this should have the tragedy tag, I was looking for a dark story, but not really a tragedy. I'm not complaining much because it was still good, but it should have that tag imo. Also it probably should have the crossover tag, although that's not a big deal since people can realize easily that it is a crossover.
1979087
Trajedy, I thought, would be a bit spoilerish. You know someone's gonna die with Slender Man. Because really, a horror=/=trajedy. Cross-over, yeah, that could fit in, probably should too.
1979136
Meh. I just kind of like the tags to kind of spoil it for me, so I know what the ending will entail without it actually spoiling it all. It is just my opinion though, it's how I write mine as well.
oh you did not
Well, I can't say I got scared. I got creeped out at some parts though. That last scene with Twi and RD though. Damn...
Normally, I don't read horror stories. They just don't interest me, plus they give me nightmares. But this was good. I quite enjoyed it. Not a whole lot of Twidash though...
Great job, Wizard! I'm looking forward to your next work of literary magic.
Well, up until chapter 7, this story felt like slenderman was just kind of shoehorned into a generic thriller/mystery novel. Only in chapters 1, 7 and 8 though, did I feel this as a horror story. In fact, a good chunk of the segway with pip could have been shortened to something like 2 or three chapters.
Anyway, it was still a good read, but when only a third of the story is befitting the horror title, I don't think the entire story should be labelled as such.
If I repeat myself, it will be true. BullshitnotactualendingBullshitnotactualendingBullshitnotactualendingBullshitnotactualending
2032434 This is Slender Man. The horror comes from not knowing, not understanding, not comprehending. The unknown is what humanity truly fears. And what it truly is intrigued by. To understand is to quench fears and find satisfaction. This also ends up with a noir sense in it all, with the bunch hunting for the truth. And then a sad sense when Luna leaves for her nightly duties.
1993825 Horrors don't phaze me. I KNOW. I UNDERSTAND. But the Slender Man. Oh, now that is where fear can step in. Fear of the unknown. This is the first and likely the last Slender Man story I will read. And it was good. I regret having read a chunk of it in the middle of the night (it was midnight) yet I am also glad I did and wish I could have done it with all of it.
2037322 Yes... I know that. I was just commenting on the unnecessary bits with pip... They just dragged on.
2037844 They bring a good sense of noir to it, which is a nice twist from normal Slender.
2037941 True. But the noir setting is not what the author was aiming for. Noir is not horror. And if it is, then it's usually a very, very slow horror. The tales of Slendy have a rather specific formula (which the author followed fairly well, aside from the middle bit.): Introduction to Slenderman, sickness, haunting/slendy reveal, find out more about slendy, finish. In this story, the research phase, and the revealing phase are swapped, which just makes it dry. For 4 chapters, the story just drags. (<--- Opinions)
But Scootaloo loved Slenderman... If fear makes him stronger, does love make him weaker?
Or was Scoots just being a weird-ass psycho?
2072426
I don't think Pip and Luna were all that fond of it.
excellent story. No kill like over kill. thumbs up.
2190888
Like number 100! Thank you!
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbjpkahL7S1ran3jeo1_500.gif
Well bugger. Dash is dead, Twi is dead, Pip is dead, and now Celestia. God dammit Luna.
Great fic by the way, got scared multiple times, cried a little (a lot) when Dash and Twi died, and felt my heart ripped out and thrown at my face when Luna just watched her sister die. Probably the best horror story I've read, well the only horror story I've bothered to read, but great none the less.
markreads.net/reviews/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/clapping.gif
Bravo my good man, bravo.
Now excuse me while I go off to read something really happy and fun-loving to get the extremely sad thoughts out of my head while listening to this.
2522938
Oddly happy to know I scared you. A different kind of sadistic joy that knowing I made you cry (which I still did, so plus there).
I'm not a huge fan of horror myself, but I just figured if I had to do a Dark Tag, Slenderman would cover it.
2523428 And that he did. Though one thing bugs me, Luna NEVER thought of using the elements of harmony on Slenderman, ever. The soul and heart of light itself that can obliterate any shadow. Now though, that Twilight and Rainbow are dead, I guess Equestria's kinda screwed. Anyways, onto the more cheery and happy fics around. Also, love all your stories (well, the ones I've read), and can't wait to see more of your excellent writing.
Well, that was awesome. Just what I needed around Halloween, a good scary story.
However, you killed both of my favorite Mane-6, my fav. CMC member, AND made my favorite princess evil again. And you killed pipsqueak. What the hell, Wiz, is it open season on my favorite ponies or something? -.-
I haven't read a fic that killed off so many of the characters I like before. It's disturbing.
3413498
Never touch One Last Game then. I'm killing of favorite ponies and favorite characters from other genres alike.
But yes, this was fun, but not exactly my Magnum Opus.
3413512
So... what you're saying is... link dies.
Ya know, I'm going to have to read it now. I shall attempt to not rage madly. ATTEMPT. No promises.
Oh, and even though this story may not be your favorite, that doesn't make this story bad. I would be tempted to read your favorite fics, though, if you consider this to be "not your Magnus Opum".
And how does Slenderman respond to killing two of the Elements of Harmony?
Hold my hand look right in the eyes
There is nothing you should fear
There is nothing you should hide
Tell me that I'm right we fallow the sun
Please don't turn around
Leave the darkness far behind
Hold my hand wipe the tears from eyes
Follow my steps your exhausted legs
At the end I replace with mine...
To be honest, I'd read this a while ago, and forgot to leave a comment. I just realized that now for whatever reason, so here we go.
I thought it was amazing. And I normally don't like reading dark stories. I love horror movies, but I've never found any entertainment from reading that genre. This though... I thoroughly enjoyed it.
The one thing I felt was unnecessary was the romance. It's not so much that I didn't like it, as I very much enjoy that particular shipping. I just didn't personally feel that it was necessary for this story.
Either way, an excellent read.
Luna, He only wants the $20 you owe him. Not Ponies! Anyways, A great story,
...and thus doth the darkness claim another victim...
He waits in the shadows of the night, He claims the souls of those who oppose Him, He is dressed in the darkest suit and tie, He is the Slender Man. You most certainly will die...
HAIL KING SLENDY!!!!!!!!!!!!
...dammit. Now I have another author's work I want to read all of.
That was a Hella nice read. Romantic fluff and some good old-fashioned psychological horror, two of my favorite genres. Above the plot and aside from occasional understandable typos, I loved the sheer quality of writing, especially the imagery. Brilliant work, friend.
Well, today's duo (refering to another fic I've read today) left a bitter taste in my mouth.
So... I didn't like this. Like, at all. There was even a logical way to rule the situation out of how you ended the fic (mind the fact, I'm not familiar with Slenderman, not that I have desire now, so i may miss some detail).
But that's not it. Not the lack of happy end. Well, not only this, at least. The lack of variables completely killed this for me. No open end. Plain and straight - they lost.
I really wonder, how much fics it will take for Luna to make her amends... Ugh, fuck this...
Well, I guess it never hurts to tell someone they are good in something? Well, guess that all i can say well from myself for this one - your writing is good. Like, good-good.
3415908
F*CK LUNA!
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Angry+feels+some+speeding+asshole+ran+over+my+cat+today_58163f_5507890.jpg
9747001
That comment was 6 years ago, my guy
Gonna have to read this again though, thanks for re-bringing it back to my attention!