• Member Since 14th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

DevourMistress


Bored reader and writer.

Comments ( 136 )

Ohh, if you can keep this up, this is going to be a fun read.:pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy::scootangel:

Intresting to see where this goes.

Absolutely love this. Without a doubt this will be a joy ride. Airy is so perfect as a new form for her. Literally weaponizing the Pony's natural trust against them. Betrayal hurts like no other.

I'm really hoping for her to succeed because it would be a nice twist for once.

oh well well well this is a wonderful start can't wait to see where this goes.

Question: will the ending be happy or bad? or is it going to be a twist ending?

11189084
Oof, pretty early to ask that question. I have already written the ending (it's the stuff between that's still in-progress), so you'll just have to wait and see.

I liked the concept of Airy, too bad she is too underused

Where the Fairy Flies

11189448
If that's intentional, then it's genius.

11189185
Who is the character in the actual series, I don't know anything about it.

11189541
It is clever... from the game's perspective: they used it in the game. I'm just re-using it as a reference.

11189583
Well, the story will at one point contain a short, modified summary that will spoil the entire game (chapter 2) so... if you want to avoid spoilers, I recommend playing the game... or at least watching a walkthrough/cutscenes on youtube.

I get the felling a little fairy will entranse Sombra whit her sweet flies of fancy.

"Knowledge is Power." That is true, but I hope she doesn't forget that Friendship is Power also. Can't gain knowledge or power on her own after all, and saving the Crystal Heart will earn her the friendship of everyone.

Looks like Celestia and Luna are too busy with Equestria to lend their aid to Amore. Could Airy use this to create a wedge between the two nations?

Oooo as a person who has Bravely Default as one of their favorite games of all time, I am SUPER into this story so far!! Even if it's not explicitly Airy, I can already see where this is going and am all for it! So excited to see the next chapters!!

11189836
I think that still falls under the knowledge is power statement since you are using some knowledge to gain power in this case it's by getting trust. Well that is true that she cannot gather power by ourselves. She can easily use the tools that are available to her such as her inherent traits to be able to manipulate her way into getting what she needs/wants.
I really enjoy this concept of a story. Even if I haven't heard of what the game is, it may even get me to play it. And I can't wait to see what happens next with this story

11193017
Well, you're gonna have to wait till tuesday for update. Also, chapter 2's gonna have basically, the entire game plot summarized as "a story" so... feel free to pause your reading and either play the game or watch a walkthrough on youtube. It's a nintendo 3DS game, so...

11193056
I have an old DSi and a switch 😭

Yes Airy! A sweet tale of heroism that puts her on a good light. All she needs to do is sweeten the deal by re-fueling this crystal heart with prayers :D

Airy took flew up, until she hovered above the buildings around her. She had by random change encountered the library, but she had no idea what the religious buildings looked like in a city made of pure crystal.... or if there even were any.

The city was weird; at the center stood the castle, while there were 12 main streets, creating straight roads from center to edges of the city, while there were also side-streets in middle of the city, that if she was looking right (she'd need to fly higher to confirm, but she didn't wanna risk exposure yet) it looked like they formed a hexagram shape, [1]lining with main roads perfectly.

[1] "aligned with the main roads"

11195054
Thanks for noticing, i'll get to fixing these.

Hmmm on the question of asterisks, I personally would love to see some sort of inclusion of them, if you can think of a good place they would fit! I think it could be neat if Airy found a way to reverse engineer them, but also implement a way to make the bearers loyal to her, so that she could give them to her followers and ensure they can't be used against her.

Weather you decide to involve them or not, looking forward to the next chapter!!

11195170
you meant to type "whether" not "weather" . But yeah, i'm still spinning the wheel on whether i should have her make the astericks or not... though i have already planned on HOW they're made (at least her versions).

This looks really promising. I’ll be sure to take a peak and see what’s inside a bit later.

She could understand the despair it must have been at the final battle, to see entire worlds destroyed. Would she be able to stand by and watch, to desperately fight while several copies of Equis were destroyed, snuffing our all life, including the parallel versions of herself?

out

Another thing she noticed, was that the Crystal Empire didn't have clocks: they told time by burning candles, that once used would renew themselves with few hours or an entire day, depending on which variant they used. As far as she knew, there were five different kinds of candles: the largest took an entire to[1] burn, the second largest about half a day, the third took six hours, the fourth took three and smallest only took an hour.

[1] Missing unit of time.

Swift Clean watched as the maids cleaned up the small room, originally used as a small study, before it had been converted to a storage room due to a lack of use. It was a size of an average bedroom, so it wasn't much to convert it into one for their new... guest, though deciding what size of bed to use was difficult. Would she prefer a full pony sized bed (A waste, considering her size) or would she feel more home with a small pet bed?

the

After some consideration while the maids moved the stored boxes to another room and cleaned any of the dust, Swift decided to place a small table in the corner, where she placed the round, furred cat bed on top of it. She also instructed[1] couple of maids to make custom bed linen for it, as well as miniature pillows and something to serve as blankets. As for the rest of the room, she decided to place another table at the opposite side of the room, with a large wash bowl and a curtain around it, so give an[2] illusion of privacy.

[1] Missing, "a".

to

[2] Would recommend changing to "the illusion of privacy."

Yes, Airy is a complete stranger, but the princess chooses to give Airy a change, to show that she is worth the trust placed upon her. The

chance

"Are you sure about this? You spend decades building the empire, it would be sad to see it all gone" Glimmer asked as she stood up and joined her sister, Amore, as she stood up from the throne and started walking towards the throne room doors.

spent

As the guards saluted them when they passed by, Amore turned her head to the side and down, as she looked at Glimmer "There aren't any other options, should we cannot revitalize the heart; we will not have any protection against the magical storms outside. Hopefully, Airy's help in finding a new way to research whenever we can revitalize the heart is successful, though should it prove unfeasible, then our hopes rest on shoulders of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Hopefully, their struggle with Tirek will be over soon"

be unable to

"Alright, I guess the safety of the citizens does come first...but who's Airy?" Glimmer asked, causing Amore to stop as she blinked, her thoughts clearing immediately as she realized, she had completely forgotten to tell[1] about their new, otherworldly guest.

[1] Missing noun

She'd seen it before, as boys tended to start liking their childhood friends who were girls, sometimes wanting them to became girlfriends. She also remembered her own experience with two of her close neighbors; one was a nerd with asthma, while another was a fat and short.

become

As the founding princess of the Crystal Empire, it's in her nature to be kind to everypony, even strangers. Yes, Airy is a complete stranger, but the princess chooses to give Airy a change

You mean 'chance' right?

Why do I feel that she's still going to get dressed up as a doll for the young foal.

11197029
How about in the next chapter, you'll just DM the grammar errors? i'll give you permission to send me a message. But thank you, these things slip away from me, even after i try to read the chapter before posting.

Ah, what a butyfull seed that has been planted.

Airy's presence alone is already causing some dominoes to fall earlier than expected. The chaos will be fun to watch.

11200870
Well, we saw how the dominoes fell in the show, with Sombra and Luna, while this will mostly be showing how the dominoes got placed... but yeah, we'll also see the fall, at the end :raritywink:

I've literally written a 5.5k document detailing places, events and important characters for the story. The whole plot is planned out, all i need to do is write the chapters... and while i could simply just throw everything within 50k word story, i'm not gonna: let's give readers like you some meat for those bones.

Curse my ability to read fast!!!!

Also cant wait for the next chapeter :3

True, proper crop rotation can garante good harvests for decades on its own, ad in an erigation system and the only thing stoping it is effectiv scale of opartion.

I do enjoy a bit of interspersed lewdness personally,

I don't mind lewd scenes. But I don't think Airy going to partisapte in anything other then voyeurism.

11210576

Well, beyond a little fingerplay, it wouldn't be Airy doing the lewd.... hmm, gonna add that to the note itself.

I'm in the middle, mainly I don't care... Could be good some spice? Maybe, maybe not, but I leave it to the author to decide

P.S: Good work with the chapter, if I may ask... Maybe I missed it but... Does Airy have any clue about where is Grogar sealed and how is sealed? And does this story follow the comics with Sombra and the Umbrum?

11210659
Well, the prologue establishes that Grogar is trapped in realm of darkness (where he met Airy), that his bell keeps him trapped there (location of he doesn't know). So, the spell he send Airy with to Crystal Empire is basically a brute force method to bypass the need for bell (Grogar won't appear in this story anymore).

As for Sombra.... well, i'll explain that in later chapters. But spoiler alert: it's not what you think it will be.

This is exactly what Airy needed to do. Now she has a stronger hand in helping the empire. There's less suspicion of her now, but she should be careful in thinking of betraying Grogar.

11210712
By "(Grogar won't appear in this story anymore)" does that mean that Airy will not release the seal in this story and you have plans for a sequel?

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