Long ago, I was impressed into serving the Dark Emperor Grogar. When he was defeated, I was punished for my servitude with imprisonment in Tartarus. Chained to a tower and left to my own devices for a period of time I had long since forgotten, I was certain I would never get out.
But as fate would have it, Cerberus, the eternal guard dog of Tartarus, would abandon his post, leaving the gates open for anyone who wished to escape. Taking the opportunity, I now found myself free to roam the world once again, along with the chance to start my life anew.
That is, if everything goes smoothly.
This story is a reimagining of one of my previous works, Havoc. You can read that too if you want.
Criticism is allowed, so don't be afraid to say negative things about this story.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
...Have we wrote together at one point or am I thinking of some other havoc?
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DAM YOU SAID IT FIRST
Seems like a serious continuity issue mate
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NOBODY EXPECTS THE SMUG ANIME GIRL
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Changed. Thanks for pointing that out.
Man, and all that stuff was in the same paragraph, too. Amazing how my mind can forget such things.
Useless trivia: I misread the title as "The Ancient Anarchist". Where my mind was, I don't know. ()^_^
Wow, so far this is amazing! I took some time to watch a few chapters of the old Havoc just to see. Tbh I feel as if there were too much death and disregard for life thus making a path of redemption nye impossible. But from what I've seen of the remake I can see how changes could easily be made and by the first two chapters alone I'm sticking around. Also featured on the first-day congrats!
Also congrats! This made its way onto my secret favorites list! This is one of only a few stories to make it and one of two to still be incomplete. But by far yours is the fastest to make it on the list. This remake has only been out about a day so congrats!
I like this so far but I wonder why their staff is partially depowered and if it’ll eventually be restored
So their not that skilled at magic and need their staff to cast more advanced spells wonder if that’ll become less of a problem later on
I like it so far, but I tried havoc and it wasn't for me (only read a few chapters)... if you're planning to make it go in that direction could you tell me now? It's written really well but not my cup of tea.
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I plan for this story to be remarkably different from Havoc, if that answers your question.
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Kinda, I guess... I'll just have to continue on to find out! Thanks for not spoiling it anyway!
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Alright, I liked the two first chapters very much, it's promising. Though I hope it won't end up like your other fic 'Havoc', where the start was interesting, but in the end it became way too cliché and kind of one-dimensional with the whole "I destroy and conquer everything" cringe. This version of Zerstörung, if it's still the same oc, is more levelheaded and has a broader personality, or so it seems. It makes the story itself more interesting. I like her, more than the literal Goddess with a God-complex and inferior-complex at the same time, who literally killed Faust because of godlike paranoia.
And please don't use the fourth wall breaking trope with your character too much, it doesn't feel natural with her. It's fine if you want to let her tell her life-story at some places by using introducing sentences in first person, but in Havoc you wrote things like:
"I won't bore you with those things like in the last chapter", or
"in case you are wondering what ... is/means", or
"There's something I've been neglecting to mention recently. Something I believe is most important to know what's going on as of now."
what made me want to facepalm quite hard. If you think that the readers need to know something, put it in an author's note below or above the chapter, like when you explained the ranking system of Sparta. Make it more natural by using normal first person POV story telling, a history book or let it be brought up in a normal conversation between two people.
Well, I have nothing else in mind. Keep it up!
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Thanks for the advice. I'll admit that the primary reason for starting this rewrite was how all-over the place Zerstörung's character was. One moment she goes from genocidal Goddess to a suddenly caring individual. Didn't look like a recipe for a good character to me.
Also, looking back, the fourth wall breaking really made me cringe. So I'll just add that to the ever growing list of reasons why this rewrite was necessary.
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Oof I somehow glazed over the reply
It's always a good idea to invest in an editor, here is a good place to begin
I see that Touhou reference in the cover art, don't think ya can hide that from me
6 weeks... And not a single update.
14 weeks & 2 days
No Update
At least there was a blog post about it
I'm still waiting...
23 weeks & 5 days since release dooms day. Hmm, I saw your last blog... Eh, can't have every story completed I suppose. Though I kind of get what you mean-ish. I have 4 stories that aren't submitted. I just created them because I had an idea and wanted to explore them.
I'd spend an hour or two workings on a chapter every few days. 2 out of the four stories I have I don't think I'll ever post because exploring the idea I had, isn't as easy(one of the story) or as interesting(another story I have there) as I originally thought.
I get the losing interest part, but for me, I'm still attached to the fandom so I'll probably keep writing.
Only two of them I'm considering submitting and if I do decide to do that, I'm waiting till I have more chapters ready so if I do take a break, I'll have a new chapter to periodically post.
OH MY GOD AN UPDATE!!!
Well now, looks like I'm gonna enjoy this
I'm getting SWTOR vibes from this chapter.
I am looking forward to see how this goes.
Also interested on how this story goes from here.
And the past dream got me interested,
More so on how she got to "Jail" when she was the boss of the west.
So many questions but left with cliffhanger Will favorite and wait with baited breath.
29 weeks, 1 day since the latest chapter. I realize that we've passed up on 50 weeks since the story release doomsday, and I see the nuclear ash outside already starting to melt the ground through the camera. I fear this bunker won't last long, at least, not without an update to the shielding generators. I'm running out of paper to rant on, so I must cut this short. If you find this, I'm probably a pile of liquid, melted into the nuclear ash that has melted through this bunker of mine.
...
Well, that was random... I swear, every time I find this story, an even weird idea pops into my head...
lol
I am happy to say, less than one day since last update
I like this story thank you for continuing the story
Ouch.
It’s a bit hard to tell what’s a flashback and what’s not other than that it’s amazing
far superior than whatever its predecessor.
the protagonist is weak. and yet can be the most dangerous foe against the equestria because of her lack of pride, moral, and principle.
I'm calling bullshit on how this person is mentally stable after a thousand plus years when people go insane for less. A mental tic, a quirk, spending long staring at nothing in silence while trapped in their own mind thinking of anything and everything as a way to maintain their sense of self. Our narrator seems unreliable and probably isn't telling us everything, but it doesn't seem that is the intention given another's comment and the conclusion that can be drawn from it.
I suppose the same spells that kept them there and disbarred their magic, meant that they didn't grow hungry or age either.
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At last, some criticism!
Honestly, though, to me Zerstörung’s time in Tartarus wasn’t all that important to me when I started writing this story. Back then, and to this day to be fair, I saw it as merely а plot device from which the story would start, with it to be mentioned from time to time as it continues.
The staff becomes semi-awakened and then breaks, as a d&d player that really hurts.
Oh no Comets questions sound like the typical ones for those going to fall in love with that person in stories.
You need to work on spelling and grammar from summary alone
Nice
20 bits it's Discord when she wakes, any takers?
The house on the borderlands, half-swallowed by the stain.
Does this story have anything to do with the Havoc of the Pony POV Series? Because I really, really hated that character. In fact, to be honest I hated just about EVERY character in that story. Even the ones that I kind of liked I still had problems with. But Havoc, Entropy and Strife were always the ones I hated the most. So I’m going to need some confirmation from you before I start reading this story.
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I don’t know what this “Pony POV” series you’re talking about is, so I guess not? Nor have I ever made а character with the names you mentioned. Havoc was just simply the title of the fic.
Will this version of Celestia/Luna be strong or worthless piece of craps that needed mane6 for every battles?
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Without spoiling anything, I’ll try my best to respect their power levels.
really enjoyed this so far.