'What is this place filled with so many wonders?'. Fluttershy used to know the answer to that question... but what happens when she doesn't know what that means anymore? Like all of a sudden, everything she thought made her life is all holding her back from being what she truly wants to be. So she decides to find the answers, even as her brain rattles of all the negative thoughts coursing through her. But upon this one trip, she may soon discover that the answer to the problem is much closer than she thinks.
Entry for the Renaissance Contest
Inspired by this lovely gem of a story
Edited by Jarvy Jared and A close friend
Chapters (1)
Oh does this remind me of Lillie’s character arc in Pokémon Sun & Moon the series! Your writing style is too amazing for us all.
This was such a cute story! Good work!
10860107 Can't say I've seen the anime (but have played the game). I didn't even think of it like that.
10860171 Thank you. Im glad it was to your liking
You wrote something so sad with a song so happy, but… it's well done. It fits surprisingly.
It's a story I can relate to. I am so obsessed with ponies that it seems all my life has spent on MLP. When the fandom became to decline, I felt I've lost part of myself. I sometimes would wonder if I am truly living, too.
This story itself is slow-paced and roughly can be divided into two parts — Fluttershy's introspection and Starlight's suggestion. It's great, but I think it could have been better if you concentrate on just one. You can either write Fluttershy kept reflecting her life and eventually found the meaning of life herself, or keep the previous part brief before she came to Twilight's castle and had a heart-to-heart conversation with Starlight. Whichever is okay, it's up to you. But I don't think you can hold them both in just 6k words. In the end it just feels forced, as if you are in a hurry to find a way to end this story quickly.
I personally perfer the former solution. This fic is named So Many Wonders after all. Maybe Fluttershy is timid, but in no way is she weak. She is an introvert and I believe she has the ability to handle most nagetive feelings herself. True that even the strongest person needs help from others from time to time, but Starlight here somehow just makes me feel… I don't know how to say… kind of noisy… and kind of ruined the atmosphere accumulated previously. She rushed to state all the morals and truths, which won't make people feel very comfortable and won't be very effective in real life. Upset people need understanding and empathy, not necessarily suggestions. At the last paragraphs, it feels strange Fluttershy suddenly became so determined and even stranger that she said so many words at once. Maybe you can expand the last part and make it the Chapter 2.
Just my two cents, please don't hate me.
10905859 The strangest part is that was one of the original criticisms before it was edited. This is much different than the original draft. But I'm happy you were able to enjoy it in spite of the flaw
10906140
Well, it's hard to please all, I guess. It's already pretty great. Thanks for your work and your kind reply.
I do so enjoy a good Fluttershy story with a little pinch of heart.
My Little review & Feedback I did your fiction.