• Member Since 2nd Mar, 2020
  • offline last seen February 3rd

SunTwi06


Every story has it's fans. Mine just happen to be nonexistent. But that's okay because I still love to write❤️

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One night, Silver Spoon receives a text from her old friend, Diamond Tiara, who requests to meet with her. She gets there only to find her best friend severely hurt, physically and emotionally. With no one to turn to, they spend the evening sharing each other's pain and trying to find some ray of hope in a dreary, cruel world.

Edited by Dramamaster829

*Featured 7/5/20*

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

We've always visualized Diamond Tiara and her mother not exactly having the best mother-daughter relationship, if the series is any consolation. But hardly could we imagine when Diamond's family life was so horrid and dysfunctional that her own mother would lash out at her daughter just because apparently the father gets more attention than the mom or gosh knows what. Still, if there is one thing that Diamond Tiara can depend on, even if she doesn't show it, it's when she can appreciate the time spent being with Silver Spoon, even if it's just to spend a quiet night together when they're alone. And in comparison to Diamond Tiara, we hardly know much about Silver Spoon's own family (Only making assumptions based on the numerous fanfics that tackle the subject). Sure, one time we can say Silver has a wonderful mother but next thing we know in this case we have Silver's family who are so busy with their own lives that they hardly notice her while some nights she's left alone with her servants.

In a way, sometimes I wonder how it would be if these two girls were more than just best friends who can vouch each other's frustrations. It wouldn't be a surprise if they became more because quite frankly, pairing these two is as popular as any known ships on the docks of MLP Pairing Harbor.

Ooooooh, now I’m wondering what would’ve happened if I turned my latest story into something more drama-based like that?

Nice work. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

So very sad and heartbreaking.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

This deserves to be in the Positive Ponies group. You can remove it if you don't want it there, but it deserves to be in the D'awww folder.

Not so much that she detests her own family, quite the obvious.

Silver Spoon kept her blog short and sleeve,

These words don't make sense.

10324755
Whoops... Seems there was some spelling issues I must've missed.

Silver Spoon kept her blog short and sleeve

Wait, what? "Short and sleeve"? That makes no sense!
The closest phrase I've heard of is "short and sweet".

She opens the drawer by her bedside desk, pulls a single book from inside, and turns to the page marked by a bookmark. With the only light stemming from the bedside lamp and her glasses adjusted, Silver Spoon makes herself more comfortable by removing the scrunchy keeping her ponytail intact, allowing her platinum blonde hair to hang loose and wild.

What's with the sudden tense change? It's now present tense, instead of past tense.
Pro tip: changing tenses is generally something to be avoided; it's often seen as best practice to pick one tense and stick with it throughout the entire story. There's very few exceptions to this; pick either past or present tense, and remain faithful to it.

Silver Spoon practically new Diamond’s parents

*Knew.

As for Diamond’s mother… She was a completely different story

Since "she" is still referring to the first part, instead of being a new topic, the word "she" should not be capitalised.

The closet thing she

*Closest - missed an 's', next to the 't'.

but she sounds like a col-hearted jerk

*Cold.

Least both your parents include you in their problems… My parents hardly ever knew I’m ever around

*At least; and, "hardly ever know".

All in all, I do like this story; the characterisation is on-point, and the plot is believable.
I also like how this is one of the comparatively-few stories that deals with abusive mothers; most of the time, when "domestic abuse" is mentioned or used, the abuser is the father, the husband. Sure, men are often stronger and can do more lasting physical damage, but that's no reason to ignore the many victimised men, to censor news and stories about female abusers. Men are also less likely to reveal abuse, since the social norm for centuries is for men to be "stoic", "unemotional" (compared to women), and being viewed as "weak" if they did reveal vulnerability. There's also practically no shelters for male victims, either.
Anyway...TL;DR - I'm sick of men being the "default" domestic abuser.

So yes, definitely a good story, that needs some polish to make it a great one.

10341719 I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll fix the errors later but so long as the story got across, I'm fine with that:heart:

Hello, a review to your story has been posted in the My Little Reviews & Feedback group. I hope you find it helpful.

10365155 Thank you. I have taken notes of it and will make sure to fix them on a later date.

Just wanna say, the letting her hair down and wondering what Diamond would think then quickly putting it back up anyway, that is such a neat little character-building moment.

Nice story!

10871268 Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it:heart:

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