• Member Since 2nd Mar, 2020
  • offline last seen 16 minutes ago

SunTwi06


I'm a klutzy but very kind hearted person who loves to help and chat wirh people. I chamge my bio pick often and am currently working on a series. Hope to see you all.https://www.patreon.com/Suntwi06

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Wallflower Blush has always been used to straying as far from being the center of attention as possible. Away from a disgruntled family and preferring her own company, Wallflower finds solace in the park. But a typical day changes the moment she meets Sunset Shimmer, leading her to confront her own feelings in ways she couldn't have imagined. Through several trials and tribulations does she start to ponder over the possibilities that her life could mean more than what she's had in mind. But one question still remains: Can two girls with opposite personalities find common ground?

Written for Scampy's SunFlower Shipping Contest. Please go support her and the cause:heart:

Art by tzc.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 14 )

10735882 Thank you. I'm a little surprised not more people commented on it/more votes were up

10735922
Wait a bit, some are only on the site at ceirtain hours

10735965 True. That reminds me- What did you think of the story?

10736102
It was charming. A bit rough around the edges, the more damaging being that I can't help but feel that Wallflower's change of opinion of Sunset was told instead of showed.

What I really like is the interpretation of Wallflower as a drawing artist, that's something that I haven't seen before and is a good connection between her and Sunset.

10736146 I see. I was sure I did more showing than telling. It appears I was incorrect. Oh well, at least it wasn't terrible :heart:

10736186
If you want something more specific, I'm referring to this scene:

And then, something changed…

One day came and went, only for Wallflower to realize something… Sunset Shimmer being around had merit. Though how did it all come to pass? Had Sunset finally learned to keep silent? Restrain herself to a casual greeting or a few general remarks? Or maybe Wallflower herself eventually discovered how to keep her temper on a leash? To stop running away when the offer for company is handed out? So many questions rang in Wallflower’s head, but not enough answers to justify the means. Whatever the case, a change did take place… and the girls actually did enjoy each other’s company.

It mentions a change, and some posibilities of why it happened, but we never see what exactly changed Wally's perspective of Sunset, and the previous pharagraph

The first few days, it started off as slightly amusing. Then eventually it started to become a bit of an annoyance. Yet little by little, Wallflower’s patience waned thin each time Sunset Shimmer made her presence felt.

makes it more jarring of a change.

And then one day… ‘she’ came along. The bacon-haired girl, roughly around her age, stopping by the bench while Wallflower was minding her own business. One shadow cast upon the green-haired girl and that was more than enough to draw Wallflower’s attention. Casting her eyes toward Sunset Shimmer standing before her.

I like how everyone just instinctively refers to Sunset as Bacon Hair.

“How about our school library, then?!”

I don't think you need an exclamation point here.

Did I... just flung myself… at her?

Should be fling, not flung.

10736247 Tbh, its kind hard not to think of bacon with hair like that :rainbowlaugh:. But yea, I fixed the areas you pointed out so thank you:heart:.


10736202 I see. I can tell where you're coming from but on the same note, I tried to leave it kinda vague as to leave it to the readers what she meant. I didn't want to flat out say what it was but I do see how you reached that conclusion

Wandering through the park, Wallflower quietly trots down the path

Should be walks, unless the memory stone made Wallflower forget she was human.

Ready to give herself away with no second thought because Sunset Shimmer has given her a new leash on life.

Should be lease unless they're into that sort of thing.

"Chocolate?"

This time, there is no holding back between the two girls as the passion between them ignites like a candlelight.

I was going to make a comment on how candles aren't all that bright, but on reflection, I think it fits quite nicely. Their relationship portrayed here is soft and cozy, much like a candle's light.

10739291 Ugh... sometimes, I feel like I forget things. Thank you for catching this. But I'm thankful you enjoyed the story despite the mistakes:heart:

Sunset points toward the bath towel, which by now starts to slowly come undone. Raising her brows utterly confused, Wallflower slowly peers her eyes below her… and finally noticed the loose towel briefly showing the highlights of her breast.

i.imgur.com/Cx3vL85.png

^Sunset’s inner monologue rn, probably

10785083 Well, can't say I expected that but can't say you're wrong.

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