How the hell does Shining not knowing his girlfriend is infected with Equestrian magic make him guilty of anything. I'm still not impressed with your Cadance/Chrysalis idea as anything less than a full on possession. You should have gone with the magic

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It would have made him the "guiltier" party because it would have been him and only him that decided to have sex with Rarity. Cadence would have been driven to sleep with Sunburst because of corruption by Equestrian magic. One decision would have been consensual, and the other effectively coerced. That does not make for an equal balance of blame for things progressing the way that they did.

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PhycoKrusk with the nail on the head. Exactly what I was about to type.

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well, it wouldn't to me. He thought his girlfriend was making rational decisions of her free will. Not his fault if that wasn't the case. It would maybe allow Cadance to say "How could you not realize, I wasn't myself?" but she and anyone else that held it against him would be wrong

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Because Shining could have very easily decided that he wouldn't have sex with Rarity, when Cadence didn't have a choice. Because, no matter what the exact circumstances are, having sex with her would have been pouring gasoline on the fire, making the resulting confrontations that much worse (as we saw happen), and he was absolutely in a position to avoid that entirely.

If Cadence had been corrupted by magic, and even though that would have been bad by itself, it wouldn't have been her decision, whereas it would have been Shining's decision to make everything worse.

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would he have been wrong to say 'We're done" and then gotten with Rarity because she was under the affects of the magic? In your view the only way he could be the good guy was just to suffer?

Besides my comment on the author's note, Iagree with DrakeyC's comment on the epilogue. Unfortunately, for me, your logic is the one shared by the author, so I was never getting out of this story satisfied

Amazing story bud, you really are a master of smut and drama!

I really enjoyed the fic, Rarity Shining is an interesting pairing and I'm happy we got to see the aftermath of white on white. Really enjoyed Cadance basically becoming obsessed with the idea after seeing how things are in Equestria, made for an interesting dynamic between the three.
hope we get to see more but as is I'm happy with how things ended. An intense yet heartfelt story, great work my dude

I've made the mistake of touching up a story that was finished after some pressure and I wasn't happy with it in the very end.

I liked how this one ended, it was sort of bittersweet with Cadance and Shining Armour.

I did actually think the way you introduced Chrysalis (in a way) by making Cadance and her kind of the same? It was interesting and believable for the EqG world imo. Looking forward to more of what you have to share

For a moment, that was going to be somewhat similar to how things would play out in 'Wrong and Right.' Cadance was going to be infected by Equestrian magic, thus creating a separate Chrysalis persona (signified by the tattoo.) The only problem with that idea? It didn't feel true to everything else. If Cadance isn't in full control of her faculties, but Shining Armor was, then doesn't that make him the more guilty party in this whole situation? Wouldn't that change the entire narrative? I'd already gone to great lengths in 'Lovers' to justify Shining Armor and Rarity's relationship. Wouldn't it be disingenuous to just turn around and have Shining Armor go back to Cadance after all that? Or the flipside; wouldn't that make him just the biggest asshole if he stayed with Rarity after finding out that the woman he'd loved all his life had been corrupted by Equestrian magic?

I'm not sure this entirely worked out the way you intended it to, unfortunately. Even though there wasn't any alternate personality actually driving the difference, once the concept was introduced of the Canterlot Wedding parallel storyline, I at least find it hard to see Cadance as being fully responsible for her own actions. Especially since it all took place after she was mentally infected with the story of a world she was told she was potentially destined to emulate.

(Sorry, human Twilight, Shining didn't blame you, but you were pretty directly responsible. Telling people about their alternative dimension histories was bound to have side effects, and as a scientist you should have known it was dangerous.)

i shall repeat my question:"did RD not already know about them?"

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Yes. I will make one final edit to 'Friends' shortly to address this.

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I'm not sure this entirely worked out the way you intended it to, unfortunately. Even though there wasn't any alternate personality actually driving the difference, once the concept was introduced of the Canterlot Wedding parallel storyline, I at least find it hard to see Cadance as being fully responsible for her own actions. Especially since it all took place after she was mentally infected with the story of a world she was told she was potentially destined to emulate.

Uh....

Once you put the "magic did it" option on the table, I don't it was something that could've been avoided or not-addressed.

And I don't think that Cadence being under some kind of mental conditoning makes Shining look like a scumbag. There is no way he could've possibly known about that, and him not going back to a possibly brainwashed Cadence isn't an asshole decision, but simply the logical consequence of all that happened, unless you decided to got for the polyamory route, and you made it clear you didn't.

You could've also pointed out that while brainwashed, the brainwashing also brought out what were subconscious desires: even if Cadence understood the cheating was wrong, her relationship with Shining was already in decline.

Anyways, it was still a decent drama, but I felt the magical elements were removed unnecessarily.

Honestly? I was hoping for a sequel ina “X years later” style recap of how their life and the lives of those around them ended up going, leading to them surrounded by family and friends on their death bed. Maybe ten years per chapter?

I think that would be a rather poetic ending to an amazing story AND it doesn’t take away from the ending here.

Just a thought I guess.

I like to see a Sequel starring Candance, what ever it was magic or her free will choice.
I can't see her doing this sort of life style with out suffering Conquences.

If Cinch learned of Candance sleeping around like she has, this could easily be used t damage of not destroy her rep.
she is the Principal of Crystal Prep.

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I don't know about "unfortunately," but you make a good point all the same; I don't think there was any conclusion we all would've been happy with.

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I edited in something I meant to write but forgot

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you seem to have cut off a comment

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Made the correction.

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My ultimate point still stands; I don't think there was a resolution that all of us were going to be satisfied with.

(Or maybe JR and I are just old and that's how we see things, but that's obviously ridiculous. Isn't that right, fellow youths?)

Major feels from your author's note, I know what that's like. Letting the characters decide the size and scope of the work is a mark of a great story, and it certainly applies here. There weren't any cop-outs, any shortcuts through their interactions, and it was all done very well. I quite enjoyed reading it, so thank you.

If Cadance isn't in full control of her faculties, but Shining Armor was, then doesn't that make him the more guilty party in this whole situation?

No. It does not. This puts the pressure on Shining Armor to recognize Cadance's personality is shifting and to pin the blame on magic, which he reasonably would not do. Yes, magic exists in this world, but if Cadance started acting a bit unusual, I doubt Shining's first instinct would be "she's been corrupted by magic!" Perhaps if she did something more extreme or had some other blindingly obvious tell like physical changes, that could be something, but no. Her change was comparatively mundane.

On the one hand, I get where you're coming from. If Cadance told Shining she had cheated on him, he slept with Rarity, and then Cadance admitted she had been drunk when she cheated, then Shining would be the more guilty party. But Cadance did not merely cheat - she set him up to cheat on her under the idea this would make them "even", and thatis before all the things she does in this fic. This is not merely intoxication, it is magic corruption, it has affected Cadance for several months. It certainly makes her a victim in all this, because she was not her normal self and did things she would not normally do, but it does not make those that treated her different during this time wrong for doing so. If anything, involving magic in this makes Shining Armor more of a victim too, because even if he hadn't slept with Rarity, the magic ruined his relationship with Cadance via her own cheating.

I will also note that this story began with a classic double-standard in the first place - presenting Shining Armor as in the right for cheating on Cadance because she had cheated on him. While I do not get fiercely upset about it, it is a plot device that many writers use that comes with a lot of problems. Simply put, a person cheating on their partner does not justify their partner cheating on them back. That is revenge, and that can be narratively satisfying, but it does not make the second partner's cheating less immoral. As the saying goes, "two wrongs do not make a right". You seem to have approached this decision based on the framing "I do not want to present Shining's decision to cheat as immoral", but it always was, and you could not change that without substantially retconning how it occurred. And making Cadance such a promiscuous and manipulative sociopath, the story presents the thesis that because Cadance's immoral deeds were far worse than Shining's, his were justified. I am uncertain as to if this was your intent, but as how the story ended up going, that is how things are framed, and it is not true.

Wouldn't it be disingenuous to just turn around and have Shining Armor go back to Cadance after all that? Or the flipside; wouldn't that make him just the biggest asshole if he stayed with Rarity after finding out that the woman he'd loved all his life had been corrupted by Equestrian magic?

No to both, because both could work if you wrote them well.

If Cadance had been corrupted by magic for so long and then was freed, you could have said that he feels her owes it to her because he left her when she wasn't her normal self and she never would have cheated normally. Their break-up happened under false pretenses and discovering that is bound to shake him and make him re-evaluate his two relationships. Perhaps he's realized how much he truly loved and missed her and he doesn't want to give that up for Rarity. It's perfectly plausible for someone to be in love with two different people, it happens all the time in real life, it's why stuff like this happens. Or you could have Rarity be the one to call off their relationship because she wouldn't feel right being with Shining after knowing Cadance was being corrupted, or that she's considered the problems Cadance raised in the story about their relationship being made public, and decided that they have too much to lose being together, making them a tragic love that could never be.

Or, if he does stay with Rarity, you could write it that the magic corrupted Cadance, but deep down she was still herself and she admits that she had thought about cheating before and the magic just nudged her to act on her desires, or that she really had felt unfulfilled in their relationship. You could have it that she recognizes Shining is happy with Rarity, maybe happier than he was with her, and she doesn't want him to give that up for her sake. Or the drama of it all is just too much for her and she thinks they need a break to figure things out and they ultimately decide maybe they shouldn't be together

As to involving the Mane 7 in this if you made it about magic - you didn't have to. It would make for a more high-stakes narrative certainly, but it could have been done. If this is really about paralleling events in Equestria, some sort of Crystal Heart proxy that allows Shining to free Cadance of magic corruption without involving anyone else could have worked, or evoked A Canterlot Wedding where he's able to break the corruption with the power of love, with either Rarity or Cadance. Heck, that could be an interesting twist, the magic begins to corrupt Rarity too, maybe go for a Nightmarity angle, and because she has the geode her corruption is more obvious and now Shining realizes something is wrong. And then he kisses her and he makes her geode go boom-boom and the Power of Love cleanses Rarity and Cadance.

I cannot speak to how this story reflects your personal experiences with your girlfriend, and I mean no offense towards you with my comments. But as a work of fiction, I have to stand by my original comments. Knowing the thought process behind them just disappoints me even more because I'm seeing that you rejected alternative ways to end the story that could have been more satisfying.

Part of me wants to beg you for a sequel but after reading your explanation I get it and frankly I want you to go out on top. WHICH yeah, you are totally going out on top. I haven't read many Rarity/Shining Armor but your story makes me want to read more. At the same time your story is go good it will be the basis for what I compare other stories with this couple moving forward. SO, BRAVO and I look forward to what you work on next.

daaaang....
I just noticed the sequel......
i'll be enjoying this soon

I put off reading this story for so long after reading the start of this story. I was coming in expecting porn and the story just didn't feel right for those expectations. Only now have I come back to read it.

Cadance's reasons for cheating are much the same as my ex-girlfriend's were.

That... explains everything. The tone of this story is so raw and filled with complex human emotion. The portrayals of these characters never felt cartoonish. They had this uncomfortable realism to them and before reading the Afterword I wondered if this story came from the Author's own experience.

One thing I do feel however is that the Chrysalis Tatoo is an unfired Chekhov's gun. For a fictional story, that's a big no-no. But this isn't, this is a sliver of the Author's heart in a coat of MLP:FiM. Real life isn't neat and tidy like fictional stories with tropes and payoffs.

I came in expecting Porn and I got a heavy dose of hard-hitting reality. I'm not sure what to feel of it.

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Good man.