Nice little bait and switch you had at the end there.
A bit disappointed that it's over, but I feel you ended the story well and at a good spot. With Cadence having backed down and in a healthier place in her life, and their respective families and friends accepting them, there's probably not much more to write about at this point, at least where their relationship is concerned. Maybe could see how their Equestrian counterparts feel about how things turned out, might have been interesting to see Princess Twilight freak out a little over this unexpected divergence, but realistically it's not their business and they all have enough going on in their lives in the first place to be concerning themselves with how their human doppelgangers live their lives. And maybe their more to say about how Shining and Cadence would rebuild their friendship, but it's pretty unlikely that it would ever move past that, not that kind of story.
Great story, very glad to have read it. Wouldn't have expected this to have come out of a one-shot clopfic from a year and a half ago.
10850344 Those were the chapters where I started to get it and then got it, respectively. Of course Cadence couldn't see where she was messing up, because she couldn't be messing up. She and Shining Armor were destined to be together; a wizard told her so. Since they were destined to be together, it didn't matter what she did or said.
It was only after Shining talked to her and confronted her with her behavior when he wasn't around that she was able to wake up from the fairy tale.
(Note also that in Friends, she said that she's had a date. Not that she was meeting someone, but that she had a date. Interpret that however you will, but I know how I prefer to interpret it)
I'll be honest - while I like the ship and the filth was enjoyable, both here and in the original story, I didn't care for how you expanded the narrative. By the premise and the ship, it was obvious Shining Armor and Rarity would end up together in the end. What happened in the meantime was, to put it simply, character assassination of Cadance.
Despite your intent, I found her characterization bore little resemblance to Chrysalis, and there is no trace of the Cadance of the canon. Cadance did not come off as a composite of the two characters, she came off as a sexually promiscuous sociopath who manipulated Shining Armor's emotions and felt entitled to have him. I'm not sure why she wants him save for her knowledge of their Equestrian counterparts being a couple, which is a contrivance and not really a satisfying justification for her entitlement anyway. While she claims to love him, her selfishness and willingness to ruin his life to force him to be with her demonstrate otherwise. If she truly did love him, then this whole thing never would have happened - she would have been open with him about her sexual appetites not being satisfied with a monogamous relationship and tried to work things out with him.
This is where a major source of disconnect comes from - this Cadance seems to have no idea how romantic relationships actually work and only views things through sex. While I can see shades of Chrysalis in that characterization, it's still inaccurate, Chrysalis never had any interest in Shining Armor himself, he was a means to an end to take over Canterlot. If Cadance wanted to be with Shining Armor for fame or wealth or some other ulterior reason, that could have brought her closer to Chrysalis, but for me personally it still wouldn't have helped very much. Even if you intended her to be a merging of Cadance and Chrysalis, the text on the page says "Cadance". And the character you wrote does not resemble Cadance at all.
The dramatic fallout of Shining and Rarity's relationship being exposed was either over-estimated, resolved in a simple manner, or are glossed over, so making this story into a prolonged narrative feels unnecessary in the end. Shining and Rarity are together, their relationship faces obstructions that are overcome without difficulty, and they remain together. Thus all that I are left with is Cadance, who is so divorced (no pun intended) from the canon that she's unrecognizable and her depiction leaves a bad taste in my mouth. In the end I feel no sympathy for her and am confused at why you seemed to be intending to portray her as sympathetic or pitiful in her later scenes when she was deeply and thoroughly vile before. If she was truly intended to be Chrysalis, then she should have completed her "transformation" and become the villain she was threatening to be in the early chapters, but it seems you backed down from that idea and tried to reverse course. I'm sorry but it didn't work.
There are many ways that the original story could have been expanded into a multi-chapter fic that told the story of Shining breaking up with Cadance and getting together with Rarity in a serious relationship, and there were many ways that Cadance could have been portrayed as the antagonist without really being a "villain". But the way you did it here, it just didn't work. I appreciate the additional filth, it was enjoyable, but the narrative was lacking.
cute very good
This was honestly lovely to read. The right amount of good filth and tender romance. Really good job
Nice little bait and switch you had at the end there.
A bit disappointed that it's over, but I feel you ended the story well and at a good spot. With Cadence having backed down and in a healthier place in her life, and their respective families and friends accepting them, there's probably not much more to write about at this point, at least where their relationship is concerned. Maybe could see how their Equestrian counterparts feel about how things turned out, might have been interesting to see Princess Twilight freak out a little over this unexpected divergence, but realistically it's not their business and they all have enough going on in their lives in the first place to be concerning themselves with how their human doppelgangers live their lives. And maybe their more to say about how Shining and Cadence would rebuild their friendship, but it's pretty unlikely that it would ever move past that, not that kind of story.
Great story, very glad to have read it. Wouldn't have expected this to have come out of a one-shot clopfic from a year and a half ago.
Did Rainbow not know about them?
Great story!
I'm trying to imagine Applejacks reaction when she heads to her room to get some sleep and finds Twilight and Timber in her bed lol
I can see it, but honestly, I suspect that when most people in the modern era think of the "knight in shining armor," they tend to think of Lancelot.
You missed a golden opportunity by not naming the pup "Galahad."
♥️👍💜❤️
10850108
Always had a soft spot for Gawain. Lad tried so hard to both do the right thing AND survive his inevitable fate.
This was a good story. Also nice to see Cadance slowly getting better from her mistakes.
10850344
Those were the chapters where I started to get it and then got it, respectively. Of course Cadence couldn't see where she was messing up, because she couldn't be messing up. She and Shining Armor were destined to be together; a wizard told her so. Since they were destined to be together, it didn't matter what she did or said.
It was only after Shining talked to her and confronted her with her behavior when he wasn't around that she was able to wake up from the fairy tale.
(Note also that in Friends, she said that she's had a date. Not that she was meeting someone, but that she had a date. Interpret that however you will, but I know how I prefer to interpret it)
Daww, a very nice way to end the story. Great work
This was amazing. I really enjoyed it. I'd love move Rarity/Shining Armor stories if you wrote them.
Amazing read, wonderful happy ending
Now that was a good read.
I'll be honest - while I like the ship and the filth was enjoyable, both here and in the original story, I didn't care for how you expanded the narrative. By the premise and the ship, it was obvious Shining Armor and Rarity would end up together in the end. What happened in the meantime was, to put it simply, character assassination of Cadance.
Despite your intent, I found her characterization bore little resemblance to Chrysalis, and there is no trace of the Cadance of the canon. Cadance did not come off as a composite of the two characters, she came off as a sexually promiscuous sociopath who manipulated Shining Armor's emotions and felt entitled to have him. I'm not sure why she wants him save for her knowledge of their Equestrian counterparts being a couple, which is a contrivance and not really a satisfying justification for her entitlement anyway. While she claims to love him, her selfishness and willingness to ruin his life to force him to be with her demonstrate otherwise. If she truly did love him, then this whole thing never would have happened - she would have been open with him about her sexual appetites not being satisfied with a monogamous relationship and tried to work things out with him.
This is where a major source of disconnect comes from - this Cadance seems to have no idea how romantic relationships actually work and only views things through sex. While I can see shades of Chrysalis in that characterization, it's still inaccurate, Chrysalis never had any interest in Shining Armor himself, he was a means to an end to take over Canterlot. If Cadance wanted to be with Shining Armor for fame or wealth or some other ulterior reason, that could have brought her closer to Chrysalis, but for me personally it still wouldn't have helped very much. Even if you intended her to be a merging of Cadance and Chrysalis, the text on the page says "Cadance". And the character you wrote does not resemble Cadance at all.
The dramatic fallout of Shining and Rarity's relationship being exposed was either over-estimated, resolved in a simple manner, or are glossed over, so making this story into a prolonged narrative feels unnecessary in the end. Shining and Rarity are together, their relationship faces obstructions that are overcome without difficulty, and they remain together. Thus all that I are left with is Cadance, who is so divorced (no pun intended) from the canon that she's unrecognizable and her depiction leaves a bad taste in my mouth. In the end I feel no sympathy for her and am confused at why you seemed to be intending to portray her as sympathetic or pitiful in her later scenes when she was deeply and thoroughly vile before. If she was truly intended to be Chrysalis, then she should have completed her "transformation" and become the villain she was threatening to be in the early chapters, but it seems you backed down from that idea and tried to reverse course. I'm sorry but it didn't work.
There are many ways that the original story could have been expanded into a multi-chapter fic that told the story of Shining breaking up with Cadance and getting together with Rarity in a serious relationship, and there were many ways that Cadance could have been portrayed as the antagonist without really being a "villain". But the way you did it here, it just didn't work. I appreciate the additional filth, it was enjoyable, but the narrative was lacking.